Memories of Home

[Archie Phoenix 0]

Directing antigravity sleds in Cargo Bay 2 was a tedious activity, and like any tedious activity it prompted Archie to resume his persistent daydreaming. Most prominent among his thoughts were images of the science officer he’d seen on the Hadrian’s Wall. Of all the excitingly bizarre things he’d seen and done since he started active duty, nothing topped seeing a long swaying tail emerging from the back of a uniform. And he’d certainly not failed to notice how … snugly that uniform fit the science officer; he’d been cooped up in his quarters far too long!

 

Of course, he’d said nothing to her. Ensign Black still seemed to be annoyed at him, and now even Lieutenant Sema’J was upset at him for leaving engineering without notice. He still had more to learn about the crew and how much enthusiasm they considered to be excessive. He would lay low for a while, observing and studying the crew and focusing more on his duties.

 

As he helped a cargo crewman load another crate onto the sled, Archie thought again of Lieutenant Sema’J’ insistence that he not depart engineering without permission, even during a non-alert situation. Archie’s hopes that Sema’J would be more of a peer than an authoritative figure had been diminished by his scolding. He had to remind himself that things were inevitably going to be different out of the Academy, that there needed to be clear lines of authority and procedure aboard a starship undertaking dangerous missions, that as an Ensign it was his place to do as he was told. He could readily accept all this in exchange for the excitement of exploring deep space … but it still reminded him uncomfortably of home.

 

He took a moment to think of all the things he’d already seen and done. He’d aided a vital investigation into the Belleau Wood’s destruction, something that an officer of his relative unimportance never would been called on to do on Renazia. He’d made modifications to Arcadia’s shuttle crafts that Renazian engineers would have considered too radical to even consider. And now he was about to turn two Cargo Bays into giant hydroponic tanks. For the first time in his life, he felt that the unexpected could happen. And for the first time in his life, he felt important. He felt like he was making meaningful contributions, despite being only an Ensign. It was more than he’d ever had, and having to follow a few orders and procedures was … ‘small potatoes,’ as the Humans would say.

 

He reminded himself of this and, thus, felt better. But the memories of home still lingered …

 

“Why do you want to leave Renazia, young one?”

 

Archie looked at the blood-red eyes of the ancient speaker, his private tutor Gamoran. “I believe I would be more content elsewhere.” His gaze returned to the lone window in the classroom, a small hole that’s sole purpose was to admit oxygen into the building; views outside were not valued by the Renazians. The views outside were not very impressive here anyway … just endless blocks of rock, crystal, and plasteel all arranged as neatly as possible. “I do not feel like I fit in here.”

 

“Nonsense!” Gamoran huffed. “You are one of the brightest younglings I have ever taught. You would have much to contribute to Renazian society if you remained here.”

 

“I do not doubt it,” Archie said. “But I do not feel that this society has much to contribute to me.”

 

Archie could not see Gamoran’s face, but he was sure that the wizened Renazian’s face looked as troubled as it always did when Archie demonstrated … un-Renazian behavior. “You feel that way because you are so young. You simply need some more time to grow up.”

 

“I will -never- grow up!” Archie spun to face Gamoran, realizing moments later that his tone had been more angry than he’d intended it to be. “I will -always- be young on this world. That is the problem. Everyone here is and will always be so much older than I am … and you all speak to me as if I am an ignoramus.”

 

Gamoran sighed and shook his head in a manner that annoyed Archie -- as if he were addressing a child that sticks its hand in a flame because it doesn’t know any better. “I have recently spoken to your father at great length, young one. He told me that your manner has changed in the last several cycles. That you have become more reclusive. That you have lost interest in Renazian pastimes and are often found retreating to the roof of your home. He told me that you have become, to use his own words … ‘starry-eyed.‘ He traces the change back to your first encounter with the Humans.” Archie’s frown deepened and he turned back to the window to hide it. “Ah. It is true, isn‘t it? That it was the Human boy who created this change in you?”

 

“Others do not ‘create change’ in me,” Archie answered. “And the Humans do not ‘create change’ in others. Do you not hear how derisively you always speak of us both? That is why I desire to leave here. I want to be among others like myself. I believe that I have more in common with the Humans than with my own people.”

 

“When you get older,” Gamoran said in a voice filled with compassion, the last thing Archie felt he needed. “You will understand that you are wrong. You are a member of a magnificent species, the greatest this galaxy has ever known. And when you find life among the Humans and the other races to be less than you are expecting it to be… then, young one, you will be rightly proud to be a Renazian.”

 

Archie looked back at Gamoran, a hopeful gleam in his eye. “… you mean?”

 

Gamoran nodded. “I will give you the training you need to join the Starfleet Academy. You are like a child to me, young one, and I would never find it in my heart to turn you away from your greatest desire. I also know that you will learn in short time that you are not at all like the Humans and the others … that they are beneath you … beneath us. Before long, you will return to your true home to be among your true equals.”

 

Archie smiled as the hoped-for realization that he would be allowed to join Starfleet sank in. His happiness clearly pleased Gamoran, but there were also signs of pity on the old Renazian’s face. The pity filled Archie with hatred, even as he felt great appreciation for the tutor’s kindness. It was the confusing mix of admiration and revulsion that he’d been feeling for many of his people in recent days.

 

He had to get away.