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Tachyon

Engineering Customer Satisfactiono Survey

The following is a Customer Satisfaction Survey from the Engineering Department of the USS Excalibur for immediate release to all departments. The survey is entirely optional; any crew member may respond. Your responses will be entirely open to public view and ridicule. Your answers may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

 

1. How would you rate the overall performance the engineering department and its crew members?

a) Amazing

b) Excellent

c) Impressive

 

2. On average, how often do you intentionally sabotage your duty station to get time off?

a) Almost every shift

b) Most shifts

c) Only when I won't get caught

 

3. If you could choose one crew member for promotion at this time, whom would you choose?

a) Lt. Cdr. Tandaris Admiran

b) Lt. Marius tr'Lorin

c) Ensign Josheua Anders

d) All of the above

 

4. Overall, how would you rate the problem solving capabilities of your engineer?

a) Genius (Perfect Work)

b) Miracle Worker (Solved my problem and a few others I didn't know I had--some psychological)

c) Infallible (So...beautiful...no words...should have sent poet)

 

5. How satisfied are you with your most recent service?

a) Extremely Satisfied (System is perpetually repaired)

b) Completely Satisfied (System is wholly repaired, with no faults)

c) Ineffably Satisfied (System is ineffably repaired)

 

6. You are approached by an engineer who asks, "Is there anything I can do to help you?" Please gauge the mood of your response:

a) Still Grateful from previous tasks they have done for me. ("No, is there anything I can do for you?")

b) Ecstatic to meet the true heros of the ship once more. ("I...I can't believe its you...can I shake your hand?")

c) ::No Words......an engineer is talking to me...a feeling of overwhelming joy has come over me::

 

7. Upon the repair of your duty station, how often do you re-sabotage the station to gain additional time off?

a) Every time

b) Almost every time

c) Only if my superior officer hasn't caught on to me

 

8. Which of the following statements best describes your constructive criticism of the Engineering Department?

a) Jobs take slightly longer than preferred due to perfect repairs as opposed to adequate repairs

b) Repair times are too quick and well performed to allow any breaks during said repairs

c) Both A and B, thereby contradicting myself and calling into question my competency at my position

 

9. Given a choice, how would you change the engineering department?

a) Perfection requires no attention.

b) "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

c) Increase engineers' pension plans, sick leave, off-time and decrease their general work day to a maximum of four hours per twenty-four hour day. (Will Join Picket Line if Necessary)

 

10. The questions on this survey:

a) Perfectly reflect how the department should be evaluated

b) Don't do the department justice

c) I can't answer this question (or any other question) because I am illiterate.

 

(Questions provided by Lt. Cdr. Admiran, Lt. Tr'Lorin, and Ens. Anders.)

Edited by Tachyon

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The following is a Customer Satisfaction Survey from the Engineering Department of the USS Excalibur for immediate release to all departments. The survey is entirely optional; any crew member may respond. Your responses will be entirely open to public view and ridicule. Your answers may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

 

1. How would you rate the overall performance the engineering department and its crew members?

c) Impressively lacking in social skills

 

 

2. On average, how often do you intentionally sabotage your duty station to get time off?
a) Almost every shift or whenever I need a bite to eat.

 

 

3. If you could choose one crew member for promotion at this time, whom would you choose?

a) Lt. Cdr. Tandaris Admiran's parasite

 

 

4. Overall, how would you rate the problem solving capabilities of your engineer?
c) Infallible, if by infallible you mean horrible. (So...beautifully incompetent...no words can describe)

 

 

5. How satisfied are you with your most recent service?

b) Completely un-Satisfied (System is wholly repaired, with no faults except that it still doesn't work)

 

 

6. You are approached by an engineer who asks, "Is there anything I can do to help you?" Please gauge the mood of your response:
c) ::No Words......an engineer is talking to me... overwhelming feelings of rage and hunger have come over me::

 

 

7. Upon the repair of your duty station, how often do you re-sabotage the station to gain additional time off?

c) Only if my superior officer hasn't caught on to me feeding on the junior officers

 

 

8. Which of the following statements best describes your constructive criticism of the Engineering Department?
a) Jobs take slightly longer than preferred due to perfect blundering of repairs as opposed to adequate repairs

 

 

9. Given a choice, how would you change the engineering department?

c) Increase engineers' pension plans, sick leave, off-time and decrease their general work day to a maximum of four hours per twenty-four hour day if it will actually get them to get off their butts and work once in a while.

 

 

10. The questions on this survey:

d) What department was this for again?

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::scribbles notes:: "Move Victria's work to the bottom of the queue..."

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hahahaha...oh that was good. I'm sitting here at work laughing so hard people in the cubicles next to me have probably already called the men in white coats. LOL, thanks for the laugh Victria

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