"The Friendly Doctor Plots"

[Guest Fiona Weber]

The old apothecary's office was wretched-smelling, with foul odors emanating from strange, slime-filled jars. On the wall there was a display full of scalpels and other ghastly instruments. Something bubbled over a fire in the corner.

 

Leeches crawled in a dank tin, and the owner of this ship of horrors cackled, evilly...

 

Good lord. Sickbay was clearly not as bad as everyone seemed to fear.

 

Fiona set aside a copy of Medicine: Through the Ages, and glanced around the white, sterile environment and shook her head. No, no leeches. No frightening potions, no disgusting pig-foot remedies. It wasn't like patients went on the Rack for part of the physical. It wasn't like some evil, maniacal doctor ran the place...

 

Well...

 

Okay, that part, she supposed, could be negotiated. Only a little. And not everyone thought she was evil and maniacal -- just the fluctuating-hormoned females. Then again, Fiona had hated physicals, too, before she was able to "practice medicine" and do it herself.

 

Hmm. Next time around, she'd put out some threats along with the "get-butt-in-here" summons.

 

"Latecomers," she phrased it to herself, "will be given a heaping dose of Regulan bloodworms to cleanse the circulatory system".

 

Actually, Weber supposed, why wait? A number of crew hadn't been in to Sickbay yet...