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Spotty Excuses

“When do you guys think Commander Segami is going to be back in Security? Does anyone even know what happened to him?” Ensign Sid Langer leaned conspiringly toward his three security crewmates, glancing about the lounge to see if anyone was eavesdropping.


“Someone told me that he’s in medical having his spots removed, but I think they were just joking.”


“I’ve heard that he developed some type of disease and was shipped back to Trill so that the symbiont could be transferred into another waiting host,” Lieutenant (jg) Louis Beckman offered with a shrug of his shoulders.


“Maybe it will be put into a female Starfleet officer and she’ll get shipped back here to be our Chief,” Ensign Benjamin Chou grinned and waggled his eyebrows at his two friends.


“A young female officer with a beautiful body,” Sid said, also waggling his brows.


“You two are pitiful,” Louis said into his drink, knocking back a good portion of the synthale. “There are plenty of gorgeous women on board this ship already and you are daydreaming about a fictitious female Security Chief. Even if she did exist, she wouldn’t be interested in either of you.”


“But she would go for you, Louie?” Sid chuckled.


“Of course,” Louis smiled, despite the annoying nickname. “Of the three of us, everyone knows I’m the best looking.”


“Ha!” Chou shook his head. “He didn’t get shipped back to Trill, anyway. I heard that his twin from the Mirror Universe sneaked aboard before we left and tried to assassinate the real Segami. And they both were sent to Starfleet Intelligence until they could figure out what to do with the fake one.”


“Your mother really did drop you on your head when you were young, didn’t she,” Sid commented, staring incredulously.


“I said that’s what I’d heard, not that I believed it,” Benjamin shot back.


“It is rubbish, anyway. Ensign Moehler told me that a lieutenant in engineering told her that he saw a data padd on Commander JoNs desk that said Segami was in the care of Dr. Zier in a special psychology ward on this ship because the Captain had pushed him over the edge.”


“Now that I could almost believe,” Louis said. “Sometimes I think the Captain could push anyone over the edge if he really wanted. I’m glad I don’t work on the bridge.”


“Scared of him?” Benny asked with a smirk.


“No. I’m allergic.” He stared at his friends as they burst out laughing. “I’m serious! I’m allergic to dogs and cats, both. I’d be sneezing all the time.”


It took a few minutes before the other two had calmed down enough to talk. Louis glared at them, sipping his drink in silence. Finally wiping tears from his eyes and catching his breath, Sid slugged Louis in the shoulder.


“Good one, Lou. You are always good for a laugh.”


“Hmm… speaking of gorgeous female officers,” Benny said, now ignoring his friends. He’d straightened in his chair and was tracking the new arrival as she walked to the replicators.


“Victria?” Sid whispered, leaning to peer around Louis to get a look. “You are crazy, Benny. She’ll eat you alive. Literally.”


“No harm in looking, is there?”


“No… not until she rips your eyeballs out of your head,” Louis grunted, turning to peer over his shoulder at the Al-Ucard. “You two heard what she did at the kick-off party?”


“Yes,” Benny was grinning again. ‘I wish I’d been there to see it! And record it for posterity’s sake. So I could view it nightly.”


“And make copies for all your friends,” Sid chimed in.


“And sell them on the black market,” Louis offered.


“Probably,” Benny admitted, still watching Victria. “What’s she drinking? Blood?”


“That’s all she drinks,” Sid confirmed, nudging his friend with one elbow. “From a glass or from a live donor. You interested in being one? I hear there is a waiting list.”


“Oh! She’s heading this way,” Benny whispered. “I’m going to talk to her. She’s just another security officer, right?”


“Right,” Louis grunted, now staring at his friend with amusement. “I’ll start writing a speech for your funeral now.”


“Shut up,” Benny snapped. “Lieutenant Victria! Over here…”


Victria paused as she passed, turning to peer at the Ensign. Her gaze flitted to his two friends, noting their reddening faces. Slightly amused at their tentative expressions, she approached their table.


“Ensign Chou, correct? Did you need something?” She tilted her head, watching the pulsing artery in his neck as his heartbeat increased.


“We were… well… we… all three of us… were wondering…” He looked to his friends for support, but they were both staring at the Al-Ucard. “We’ve been discussing Chief Segami’s absence and were wondering if you… eh… knew anything about where he is or might be.”


“Spreading rumors about his absence, you mean?” One eyebrow arched inquiringly and she watched in amusement as the blood rushed to their faces again. “Yes, I’ve heard all of those as well.”


“So… do you know the truth?” Sid asked, piping up despite his better judgment.


“No, but I did hear a story that is far more likely than the others.” She paused, prolonging the anticipation. “I’ve heard that he’s in sickbay, being treated for a rash. A particularly nasty one.”


“A rash? Why would that put him out of commission?” Louis asked.


“If it were an embarrassing one in a sensitive area...” She gave them all significant looks, her eyes dropping to their laps and back up again.


“What?” Benny looked confused until realization struck. “Oh. Oh! Eh… yes. I could see how that would be… problematic, especially if it could lead to a loss of… function.”


“I doubt that’s what really happened,” Louis said dubiously. “Who ever heard of a rash so invasive that it could remove body parts?”


“Now, of that I am not at all certain,” Victria said. “But rumor has it that such a disease has only been found on one particular planet and might be carried by its people.”


“Which planet?” Sid perked up, curious.


“Orion,” Victria repressed a smile. “And there really aren’t that many on the ship, are there? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to review some files and grab a bite to eat before duty shift.”


Benjamin colored again at her phrasing and had to restrain himself from covering his neck. “Nice to speak with you, Lieutenant. We’ll see you in security, I guess.”


“Yes, I hope so,” she smiled, fangs bared, at the three men and turned to find her own table.


“She so wants me,” Benny said after Victria had moved out of earshot. He turned to peer at his friends who were shaking their heads and laughing. “What? What?”


“You are delirious,” Louis answered with a smirk. “Hey Sid… I think I have a new nickname for Benny. Let’s call him ‘blood bank’.”

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What? ::innocently:: Is Laarell the only Orion on the ship? I had no idea. ::evil grin::

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::begins what is sure to be mountain of paper work involving The Green One and the Vampire...again::

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I loved an unclean woman...


But in all silliness expect to see Travis and Mogg back on Camelot when the plot allows it.

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