Reflections

[Mreh K'hal 0]

Reflections

Mreh K'hal

 

OOC Note: These go back from before Mreh came aboard the Excalibur to just before last night's (2008-01-13) sim. And the stardates are probably way off, but I just used them to indicate the passage of time.

 

Medical Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84126.4

 

I'm once again on the runabout Clara Barton, heading back to Camelot. After heading out to the front lines again, I worked to mop up some of the mess on the ground at Fu'In. We sustained some heavy casualties once again, and those that were capable of being moved to get treatment of the base facility are tucked in the back with me.

 

This was a bad one... For every life I saved there were probably five that didn't make it. This "conflict" is draining away our personnel resources pretty quickly, not to mention morale. Usually the security types are eager to get in the action, but now even they are hesitant; something will have to be done soon before we either run out of people and ships to fight or they don't give a damn anymore.

 

Myself, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I've been roving for months now, heading to wherever the need was greatest and ferrying the wounded to facilities with better equipment and personnel. I've been lucky insofar as that I haven't run into any enemies during my transits... If our top of the line starships aren't able to withstand Scorpiad attacks, this little runabout doesn't have a chance. I'm ready to "settle down," as much as this conflict will allow, anyway. I've already requested a permanent assignment.

 

I'm half hoping that it will be on Camelot or the Avalon Base, but I'm sure there's a need for doctors on the starships, so that's probably where I'll end up.

 

Gods, I'm so tired.

 

Medical Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84127.2

 

After arriving at Camelot with my injured, and transferring them to the medical facilities there, I was informed that I have received a new assignment, and a permanent one. I'm going to the Excalibur. Good facilities there, at least, though that class doesn't quite have the amenities of more flexible ships. I imagine we'll be spending a lot of time fighting.

 

Well, I'll be kept busy, anyway.

 

Medical Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84131.8

 

Things are as bad as I expected here, and I've spent a good deal of time patching up crewman after engagements. No doubt it will get worse. The personalities in this sickbay don't help at all, either. At least from my point of view. The CMO is rather... informal and quirky, to say the least. I cant fault his medical skills, though. Dr. Kassem is quite capable as well, though she seems distracted by the Counselor. It bothers me, though deep down I know I can't get twitchy because others have found love during a time of war. It just seems inappropriate to me, to be elbow deep in blood in between romantic encounters.

 

Gods, I'm so sick of being elbow deep in blood with no end in sight. I know that's the biggest part of my problem right now, and I should talk to Zier about it, that's why they put those mind-massagers on these ships, after all. Well, for now I'll try to work it out on my own.

 

Medical Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84132.7

 

Well, I've managed to blow my lid at everyone in sickbay this time, and have also managed a good deal of havoc in my own quarters. I'll have to replicate some new sheets before I go to bed; after I recycle the shredded remains of the old ones, anyway. Not that I'll actually be able to sleep in it, though.

 

I don't know why I haven't seen it before, but I've tried to stay so focused on my work that I didn't notice that I actually hate it now. Wouldn't mother just give me that look of hers, too. Spend my whole life working to become a doctor, and now I can't stand to do it anymore. I don't want to see any more mangled bodies, no more trying to reassure people that yes, eventually, they'll be able to serve again, even if it takes months to recondition themselves and become accustomed to the new parts and pieces that have been installed.

 

I really should talk to Zier now, but after yelling at his girlfriend... probably not a good idea.

 

Damn.

Medical Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84133.4

 

I've requesed the helm position, since it's open. I don't know if I'll get it... but hey, why not? I have to get out of sickbay. I just can't do this anymore. I don't know how long it will take to hear something... the little hope it gives me to think there might be a way out without having to have Pilot prescribe anti-depressants and lock me in a padded room for safety.

 

If I don't get it though... I don't even want to finish the thought.

 

Flight Control Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84135.9

 

That didn't last long, did it? I've barely been on the Excalibur as helmsman for a three weeks before being reassigned to the Haviland. Apparently they've lost all of their helmsmen in engagements. Well, it may work out well, though. The atmosphere on Excalibur is pretty rough right now, and they'll likely be right in the thick of it. I'd just assume not hear the words "ramming speed." At least on the Haviland we'll be back line.

 

Goodbye Sovvie, hello Nova.

 

Flight Control Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84152.6

 

It's nice here on the Haviland. It took me a while to really settle in, but I've made a few friends, and I don't have any past history haunting me here. The Captain has allowed me to continue wearing the blue, even though I'm FCO only here. More than enough of the science and medical types here, so I don't have to worry about double duty.

 

The ship's certainly not the fastest, but it maneuvers well, and so far we haven't been thrown into the fray too much. I'm not sure what the future will bring, or if we'll ever see the Alpha Quadrant again, but I'm happier than I've been since joining the Academy. That's a blessing I couldn't have counted on during these dark times.

 

Though I can't help but wonder how the Excalibur group are holding up.

 

Flight Control Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84188.5

 

After some very good time put on the Haviland, I'm suddenly being transferred back to the Excalibur. Apparently they've returned from the abyss without a navigator. Though, from what I've been told, we're heading to McKinley. Go figure. Send me over just to park the ship.

 

I imagine we'll be given leave during the refit. It'll be nice to see family again.

 

Flight Control Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84190.3

 

So much for leave... The Excalibur is going to be torn apart and sold for parts, not that I'm really surprised. I couldn't believe how bad it looked after I returned. They really pounded the old girl while I was gone. Can't say I'm sorry that I missed it. Haha.

 

We're supposed to get new assignments. I wonder where I'll end up?

 

Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84209.5

 

Here I am, flying ambulance shuttles! Woo! ... Wow, I'm surprised the computer didn't malfunction with that much sarcasm hitting it.

 

Though I'm happy I'm posted so close to home, I'm still trying to figure out a way to get back at mother for interfering. I can't count on dad to help me... he has to live with her, and wouldn't take the risk. Haha. Well, tomorrow is another day, perhaps I'll get an idea.

 

Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84213.8

 

Boy, that Dr. Thomas was sure... interesting. It heartens me though, somehow, to know that if you can survive the hate that everyone throws at the Federation, you can keep on warping through to do what you can.

 

Mren's sent me a message, as well. Apparently she didn't have any trouble getting the Guinness and it's on it's way to UP. I hope Dr. Thomas is thirsty.

 

Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84228.1

 

I've said goodbye to everyone. I'm heading off to Antares Shipyard now, for some odd reason. While it's certainly not unheard of for Starfleet to give people orders without any clear indication of what's coming, it's the first time I've personally had it happen. Must be something important though, otherwise there wouldn't be a need for it.

 

Rhan had brought Kara to the farewell party. I could see that mother wasn't all that happy about it, but she kept her thoughts to herself. For once. Surprisingly, she didn't even offer one word of complaint when Rhan finally asked Kara to marry him. I suppose she really does want us to be happy, even if she's not. Though, unless something happens, she's going to be looking at me harder than ever to provide her grandkittens.

 

Hmm... I wonder if JoNs will be at Antares?

 

Flight Control Officer's Personal Log, Stardate 84241.6

 

I've just reviewed some of my old personal logs of the last year... Wow, have I been up and down, side to side, and even front to back. What a difference it makes doing something you enjoy versus something you don't. Of course now that I'm piloting and Akira and have a... friendly acquaintanceship with Lefty, things are better than ever.

 

We just had a nice talk in the lounge, as a matter of fact. Everything seems to be going well. With her new position as XO, it's going to be somewhat... difficult for us to become romantically involved. Yes, I still want that. Regulations and her straight-arrow personality are going to hamper it. But, I'm not going to push. I like what we do have, and the fact that she's willing to drop the Command persona for a while with me makes me happy, and should hopefully keep her happy.

 

She had to head back to the bridge, unfortunately. I could've kept talking to her easily. Oh well, it gives me a chance to get this log in before I have to return to duty myself. Hopefully we won't get shot at when go to this planet.