Second Hand Hangover

[Tia 0]

Sarok

 

The desert is heat. The desert is pain. By human logic, or lack thereof, emotion is a guide to behavior. One should seek to gratify pleasant emotions, while avoiding painful and difficult emotions. Thus, by human logic, one should avoid deserts, as deserts are hot and unpleasant. By Vulcan logic, one should seek out deserts, as in deserts one can acquire strength, learn discipline, and not allow mere pain to alter one’s decisions.

 

I believe I have discovered a Deltan logic. Pain, shared, vanishes. As with all my Deltan kin, another’s pain can be felt, and with a touch can be made to fade. By Deltan emotional logic, when one encounters pain, all come together. The burden is shared. The burden is made to vanish. This is not the logic and discipline of Vulcan’s Forge, but it feels correct. Is pain to be embraced always?

 

I am confused by Orion emotional logic. I am working near an Orion woman who is in pain, but does not seek relief from that pain.. My offer to relieve it was refused. Perhaps as I declined water in crossing Death Valley, in echoing the kahs-wan, she wished to keep her pain.

 

But not in seeking discipline. It feels as though the pain is being used to nurse a wish to hurt another. I am not sure I have the correct words, but it almost seems as if she is feeling ‘hate’ or desires ‘revenge.’ As a desert can bring discipline, it seems that pain can bring strength?

 

And it is not just one being. This Federation ship carries many who consider themselves warriors first, including some marines, and a wing of fighter pilots. They have crossed their deserts. They have their disciplines. They have a pride in this, and yet have not learned that all pride is false pride. There seems to be a satisfaction in carrying death, in wielding fire, rather than in walking a fire unburned.

 

What is the path? Does one douse the fire, heal the pain, give and take comfort? Does one embrace the fire, accept the scars, allowing the pain to make one stronger? Does one build walls, recognizing danger, keeping it away, maintaining one’s soul intact?

 

I do not know.

 

Tia