"Sickbay Snitch"

[Kansas_Jones 0]

Note: I iz in ur sikbay, cauzin mayhemz

 

11.27.02

ISS Agincourt ICC-81762

“Sickbay Snitch”

 

“Why can you not just go through the entranceway like a normal being?”

 

Kansas JoNs turned from the maintenance access hatch that she was working to free from the bulkhead to look at Keltex. “Because, my dear Master Chief, making an entrance has a good dramatic effect. And it will also be fun, and there is nothing wrong with a little fun in this job.”

 

The Klingon guard merely looked at his feline employer in exasperation, and then glanced over to his fellow guard Mical for some help; the female Andorian lieutenant just shrugged and put her hands up in the air. “Don’t look at me; you are on your own with this one Master Chief.”

 

Keltex huffed and turned his attention back to the Caitian, who had by now worked the orange hued grating away from its flush inset into the bulkhead, revealing the crawlway access beyond. The golden furred feline then slipped into the access chute, leaving just her tail sticking out of the opening.

 

The elder silver haired warrior tried one more time. “Commander, again I ask – why not pursue this through the proper channels?”

 

The fluffy tail disappeared and Kansas poked her head and shoulders out of the side access hatch. “This is the proper channel, as far as I am concerned. I handle security, which gives me a good bit of leeway. And as second officer, that further ups my command authority a bit. How I conduct matters is my own decision and business, Master Chief.”

 

She paused, and then continued. “Keltex, nothing is keeping you here. If you wish to leave, you may do so. I have no problem with that.” The statement was not cutting or meant to be insulting; Kansas had merely stated it as a fact.

 

“There are the proper ways of going about these things, and you are still thinking in terms of some back room dealing bounty hunter.”

 

“I will have you know that I have done many things in my life, but bounty hunting has never been one of them. Nasty business…,”

 

“…you are a senior officer, and a senior officer does not skulk in back entry access hatches. You must learn to comport yourself better.” That was the thing about the Master Chief – he didn’t care who you were. Rank, age, your species, it really didn’t matter to him. He put all his cards on the table and told it like it was, and at times what you could go do with yourself.

 

“You know what? You and Harper need to get together and discuss my predilections over coffee.”

 

“I do believe that is a good idea Commander Kitten.”

 

“You wouldn’t even…”

 

“Excuse me? Kitten and Klingon?”

 

Two sets of eyes latched with sharp looks onto Lieutenant Mical, the one who dared speak. If looks could kill, the blue skinned female officer would have been dead on the spot.

 

“Hello there to you both. Can we please move this operation along before I die of old age over here?”

 

**********

The Caitian had reached her destination, and now waited patiently, her gaze sizing up her unsuspecting prey through the grating of the ceiling panel. They had no idea what they were in for, ensconced at their desk, reading over a medical report padd.

 

Her ear comm piece crackled to life. “Commander, we are in position.”

 

“Ten seconds, go.”

 

Kansas entered a quick code into her wrist comm, signaling the officer of the watch in security to cut the video feed and dampen the weapons discharge alarms to the medical section for a minor duration of fifteen minutes.

 

She heard muffled voices filtering through the access hatchway, coming from the gratings in the main medical bay and traveling back this way through the venting; at the same time, she saw her targets head move as they too picked up on the increased noise level. Before they could investigate though, Kansas went hind paws first through the hatch. The displaced ceiling panel swung wildly on its hinges as the Caitian landed gracefully on the desk right in front of the startled human.

 

“What in the name of God!” The medical technician of Earth Asian descent backpedaled, knocking over her chair and backing up against a bulkhead

 

“To quote a cliché, God can’t help you here honey.”

 

In two fluid motions, the Caitian flew off the desk and rammed her balled up paw into the bluegills stomach. The human collapsed with a pained ‘oof’ to the decking. With an effort, Kansas resisted the urge to kick her in the ribs, and instead backed away from the human, claws out and splayed. With one arm pressed to her stomach, Tasito carefully ventured into a sitting position. She leveled a glower at the feline officer. “What is going on here?”

 

Mical interrupted what JoNs was about to say with an incoming comm report. “Sir, outer bay is secure.”

 

“The staff?” Kansas spoke into her wrist communicator.

 

“We herded them into the lab just off of sickbay. The Master Chief is with them.”

 

“Any patients out there?”

 

“None. It’s just you, me, and Tasito.”

 

JoNs leveled a leer at the medical tech, who would not meet her eyes. “Good. Standby Lieutenant.”

 

“Note that we only have ten minutes until changeover to third shift sir.”

 

“Ten is all I need. Keep the second shift in the office and then release them just as the third shift comes on. JoNs out.”

 

The Caitian then grabbed at Tasito, manhandling her into the single guest chair set in front of the desk. “You and I need to have a chat.”

 

“You can’t just come in here and stiff arm the medical staff! Doctor Levy will not be pleased…”

 

“You attempt to contact her, and you’ll be picking your teeth up off the decking.”

 

It was no idle threat, and the medical technician wisely made no further comment.

 

Kansas perched one hip against the desk while easily drawing her plasma shot gun from its leg holster, pointing the weapon right at Tasito; the woman visibly paled.

 

“Now that I have your full attention, I’d like to remind you that a snitch that spreads gossip - particularly regarding the recovery of a senior officer from a beating – is generally considered bad form. I thank you for your ministrations that night those months ago, but you should have kept your mouth shut Tasito. Now, you have five minutes to convince me not to drill you in the knee, as well as apologize and assure me that this sort of situation will not happen again. Go.”

 

When the human woman did not immediately speak, Kansas emphasized the dire importance of the situation by blowing away a neat stack of padds that had been set on the desk. The recording devices were all blown apart and partially disintegrated with the force of the blue plasma stun round.

 

**********

Ten minutes later, Tasito – who still had the use of the both of her kneecaps, thank you very much – emerged from her office, pale faced and sweating. She logged off her shift, and left the sickbay post haste without speaking a word.

 

JoNs casually walked over to Lieutenant Mical, ignoring the curious looks that some of the third shift medical personnel were casting toward the two security officers who really had no reason to be in the medical bay in the first place. The blue skinned female regarded her chief. “It went well I gather Commander?”

 

“Indeed it did. I feel that Ms. Tasito will make sure she adheres to her patient and doctor confidentiality in the future.”

 

“You missed your calling as a counselor sir.”

 

“I’d make a damn fine counselor Lieutenant.”

 

“Alright, now you just have me scared.”

 

“At ease, Lieutenant.”

 

“Aye sir.”