"Talking in Circles"

[Lexia 0]

<<OOC Note: Events in this log take place after events in last week's simulation.>>

 

Dr. Lexia Tordai

&

Lt., j.g. Aidan Driscol

 

Lexia leaned against the frame of her view port, her fingers wrapped gently around the contours of a glass champagne flute. She stared out into the black space contrasted with individual points of light as she sipped, her thoughts as many and as varied as the stars before her. Just as those stars, her thoughts seemed to revolve around one single point.

 

Aidan stood in front of Lexia's door wondering whether he should bug her. She had looked down but he wasn't sure if he had the right to intrude. And he had a perfect excuse not to if she expected him to come by; he was on duty after all. But he couldn't deny to himself that he was feeling responsible and guilty. He swallowed and chimed.

 

She turned, what now? She stared at the door for a beat, almost positive who was behind it. She sighed and walked over to the entrance of her quarters. Time for the latest chapter in the saga that was becoming her life aboard this vessel. She wondered what this installment would bring as she depressed the switch.

 

As the doors swooshed open Aidan saw the familiar room behind them as well as Lexia, he saw immediately that she wasn't exactly happy to see him. "Wow, did I do anything to you I'm not aware of?"

 

"No, I am pretty sure you are aware of most of it," she said, the inflection in her voice denoting a joke but sounding tired. "Come in Aidan."

 

"I don't know, I've had quite a few beers, and the fact that I don't remember you yelling at me makes me feel a tad suspicious." He stepped inside and went over to the sofa to sit down. He was frustrated by the fact that she was one day lowering her defenses and the next bam! he smashed into those walls again face first.

 

The door swished shut behind her. He had made his way to the sofa without even touching her, without even making the attempt. Of course, the first words out of her mouth were not exactly the most inviting. But still, wasn't it normal to at least embrace someone you...you...she shook her head and sighed lightly. "Can I get you anything?" She stood behind the sofa, her hands on its back.

 

"A sledge hammer maybe, if you're out of those I'd take ice tea." He felt so uncertain how to approach her, it had seemed like she now regretted what had happened last time. He also noticed how she didn't sit with him, she must have realized that he didn't come her for drinks but to check on her.

 

She walked to the replicator and got him his beverage of choice, rather then the hammer. She handed it to him and went back to her rest against the view port frame a couple of feet away. She had no idea where to begin, what to say or even how to approach the subject.

 

Aidan took a sip of his tea and then put it down to look at her. He didn't speak, he just looked and couldn't help admiring how beautiful she looked framed against the view port with the nebula as a background. Right now he knew that not speaking was the right thing to do, she would have to be the one to break the silence.

 

"So what brings you by? I doubt this is one of your favorite places..." she immediately regretted the latter statement, not because she felt it was cruel or mean...she was afraid he would confirm it...

 

"Well, I like what you've done to this place, kept the Starfleet standard, very adorable, I've done something similar, I call it Starfleet standard aux smelly socks." If she wanted to keep this up he was ready to play along, he was getting tired of always having to be the one to make the first step.

 

"You didn't answer the question, Aidan."

 

He rolled his eyes aware of the fact that she saw him do it and got up to walk up behind her. Despite standing close to her he didn't touch her. "You looked down earlier; I wanted to see if you were alright. I hadn't expected such a warm welcome, though."

 

She felt him standing behind her. She respected the fact that he kept his distance, but somewhere in her mind she wished he wouldn't. "You came all the way to this part of the ship because I looked down in Sickbay?" She wanted to reach back to him, but some fear inside her stopped her.

 

He had to keep himself from touching her, but it seemed like this relationship was just going to work if they played games. "Oh, you know, I was in the area and really longing for some ice tea."

 

She smiled slightly even though he could not see it. "You could have gotten tea in the mess hall," she prodded, hoping to gain the desired results.

 

His self-restraint crumbled, he put his arms around her waist and put his chin on her shoulder gazing into space with her. "Stop it Doctor, you're driving me up the wall again."

 

"Driving you up the wall is such a talent I posses though...it would be a shame to let it go to waste," she relaxed into his arms, even thought her nerves were rigid enough to cut glass. She rested her head against his and felt the warmth of his face against her cheek.

 

Aidan chuckled. "Yes, yes indeed, what a shame. But I'm sure you have other talents as well that would be a shame to go to waste."

 

"Not so fast, Lieutenant," she almost muttered through a smirk. This was probably how it was always going to be, she decided. She turned her head slightly and touched her lips to his; maybe things being this way would not be so bad...

 

The kiss didn't feel as awkward this time as the ones before had, he was finally able to fully enjoy it. When it was over he smiles at her. "I know you won't believe me, but I wasn't even talking about those talents, as tempting as they might be." Very tempting indeed, but he really shouldn't push his luck.

 

She turned her head back to the view port, her lips still moist. "I know, Aidan." She lay her head against his again. "I know."

 

He slowly turned his head and gently kissed her neck. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong? I won't bite, and I won't laugh or do whatever it is you are afraid of. I know being open about things isn't one of those many talents of yours but I would hate you having to treat me for ulcer in a couple of months."

 

"I think Dr;. Levy will have to take your cases now," she dodged the question with all the grace she could muster. "After all, I have invested interest now."

 

"Ah Tordai, you're wrong on two accounts right now." If he hadn't been holding her he'd have banged his head against the wall right about now.

 

"How so?"

 

"You thinking you can get away with compromising my health and not fixing it as well as you obviously being certain that I don't notice you avoiding answering my questions." As he said this he visualized an ulcer forming in his stomach and flinched hardly perceivably.

 

She decided to try something new, the serious, straight-forward approach. "I'm just nervous Aidan."

 

He pulled her gently closer towards him trying not to show his surprise. "Of course you are, so am I. But what good is it going to do if that makes you avoid me?"

 

"I know, logically I know..." she sighed. But what had been logical about any of this? "If I avoid you, your mental health might improve..." she attempted to lighten the mood, she hated it when things got this damn close to home.

 

He sighed and let go of her to walk over to the table where his tea was and took it. "You don't trust me with the real stuff, do you? I seriously don't know what to do anymore." He pictured himself punching the small pillow lying on the sofa.

 

"This is the real stuff Aidan," she sighed, just when things were going fine it turned into this again. "Logically I know that worrying is just going to hold me back, but there is this irrational, go figure, part of my self that worries anyways." She sighed and walked over to him, "You'd think a few centuries would have worked this out."

 

"I suppose a few centuries also means more disappointment, but they should also have taught you that sometimes it's worth it taking a chance." Finally she was talking to him, but he still remained standing there with the glass in his hand; whenever Lexia mentioned her "few centuries" he started feeling a bit uncomfortable.

 

"I never said it was not worth the chance, Aidan,"

 

"No, you just act like it." That was his frustration speaking.

 

"And you act like I scare the living daylights out of you and as if you must always know the quickest way away from me. Am I to assume then that you are forming escape routes every time you get close?" She crossed her arms and looked at him.

 

"Yah, I'm sure you'd love that thought, being able to scare me, wouldn't you. In case you weren't aware of it, you spent almost the whole time staring out of the view port. Do not accuse me of avoiding you while you refuse to even look at me." Boy what nerve that woman had at times. Wasn't it obvious what he was doing?

 

She sighed and placed her palm against her forehead in exasperation. "We're running in circles, and I'm starting to get dizzy."

 

This time the urge to walk over to the next wall and punch it was barely suppressible.

 

"Then stop pushing me away Lexia," he yelled, sorry about as soon as he realized he was doing it. He continued in a lower voice "don't do that to me."

 

"Then stop making me feel like you expect me to," she said calmly and quietly. Then, in an even quieter voice, "don't do that to me."

[Kansas_Jones 0]

I think the most important question is - which of you will get custody of the Holo-TV remote?

 

::popcorn::