"Guilty"

[Dox Maturin 0]

"Guilty"

Personal Log - 0708.06

 

The unfamiliar feeling of weightlessness woke Dox. He groaned, trying to clear the haze around his mind and remember where he was and what had happened. He was on the bridge, floating in the back. Others were floating as well, with only a few that had managed to strap themselves into their seats as gravity failed on the dark, dead Excalibur.

 

He roused himself by shaking his limbs, trying to force himself to regain consciousness. Slowly he began to recall the last few seconds of events. The power had failed, the sensors were out, his panel went dark. Moments later Joy routed some additional power to the sensor systems, the emergency lights came on, and his computer panel flickered to life. As the static cleared, he caught a glimpse of the enormous white shock wave heading straight for them. Then everything shook, the ships lack of IDF sent him flying to the ground. He felt his head strike the deck and everything went black.

 

The emergency lights were still on, but flickering. Some of the panels sparked, releasing what small energy the tiny capacitors beneath still had in them. Wisps of smoke drifted out from several of the bulkheads, but for the most part the bridge was clear. It was just dark, and eerily quiet. Everyone appeared to be in shock. They were dead in the water, with no way of knowing what was happening outside. Perhaps no one knew quite what to do.

 

But that didn't last long, and within seconds orders were being shouted and people were struggling to move again. It was a hard thing to do without gravity.

 

As if his body was telling him that there was nothing he could do at the moment, he once again lost consciousness.

 

"Where am I?" Dox murmured as he squinted in the dark space around him. It was a hallway, he could tell, but unlike anything he had ever seen. He walked slowly along, feeling his way in the unfamiliar corridor. The black bulkheads hummed and vibrated softly. He was aboard a ship.

 

In the distance he saw a shadowy figure leaning over an unidentifiable black mass. Dox approached carefully, trying to make out the figure. Soon it became clear. It was an older man wearing tattered civilian clothing, knelt over a mass of black body parts. One of his legs had no clothing, and a thin mechanical leg glistened in the dim emergency lights.

 

Dox recognized him. It was Mr Granger, one of his figments, the one who always appeared to him when he was frightened. He looked intently at the mass on the floor. Dox finally saw what it was: the tattered remains of a Scorpiad soldier.

 

Granger looked up at Dox with a sneer, and then did what Dox never thought he would do. "Done killing yet, boy?" Granger spoke for the first time in a gruff but familiar voice. He pointed to the dead Scorpiad. "Proud of yourself? There's more blood to be shed, yet."

 

 

"I..." Dox didn't know what to say. He didn't understand.

 

"Think." Granger demanded, standing tall and walking to Dox with a clank, clank, as his mechanical foot touched the metal floor. "You never asked."

 

"Asked...what?" he frowned, utterly confused.

 

"The right questions. You never asked, and now he's dead," Granger pointed to the Scorpiad, "and you're just as guilty as they are." Then his voice changed, to a clear high pitch, "Are you alright?"

 

"What?" Dox opened his eyes, suddenly finding himself weightless but pressed against the floor of the Excalibur bridge.

 

"Are you alright?" the young nurse repeated. She was wearing gravity boots and was making her way around the bridge. "You suddenly lost consciousness again, right when you were about to tell me how you hit your head."

 

"What?" Dox shook his head, "I have not said anything. I...I passed out."

 

"Sir," the nurse frowned, wondering if he had some kind of concussion, "we've been talking for the last minute. You were telling me about the shock wave."

 

Dox put a hand to his head, having no memory of their conversation. No, he had been asleep. He had been talking to Granger in a dream. He certainly hadn't been having a chat about the shock wave.

 

Confused, Dox just nodded quietly. The nurse advised him to visit sickbay as soon as he could, stood up and then moved on to the next officer in need.

 

Dox just laid there, slowly floating back up again. This was not a good time to be losing his mind again.