"Closeted Emotions"

[Lexia 0]

Dr. Lexia Tordai

&

Ensign Aidan Driscol

 

"The procedure being a success has little bearing at this time. The patient did not survive," the rational part of Lexia's mind knew the last two comments she said were conflicting; but the rational part of her brain was currently the last thing controlling her. "I will prepare a report. Tordai out," she turned on her comm and stood silent for a moment. As her mind began to venture out into the real world she found herself hunting Aida. She found him in a supply closet. "I....I thought...." she placed her back to the wall across from him and slid down it, pulling her knees up to her chest and placing her forehead on her kneecaps.

 

Aidan looked up at her seeing her vulnerable for the first time. He found it somewhat strange to see her like that. Lexia had always been that tough woman hiding her emotions behind a wall of concrete, except for her despise for him. "You thought he'd make it?" His voice shook a little, he had never known Burne but he had invested so much into this, he was exhausted and devastated.

 

Lexia looked up, salty tears stinging the corners of her eyes. It was the first time in a long time she had experienced that feeling in public. "I thought we had it....we were so close...so close." Her voice was shaking and her shoulders were following suit.

 

Frowning he sat there and just looked at her unsure what to do. After a long moment of silence he moved over to Lexia's side of the wall and sat next to her. "I thought he'd have a good chance, but the change was too much stress for his system." As usual he tried to rationalize everything, it helped him cope, he hoped it'd help Lexia too.

 

She leaned the back of her head against the wall, its cold metal surface cooling her sweating scalp. "I got my chance....." Lexia seemed to be talking to herself, not to Driscol himself. Her voice cracked as the last syllable escaped and she began to openly cry, not giving a damn anymore.

 

Aidan still felt helpless; he didn't know what he could do for the woman sitting next to him. A couple of times she had wanted to kill him and now she was crying in front of him. So he decided not to push his luck and just sat there saying nothing.

 

Lexia stood, taking one last sniff and then drying up her tears as if by sheer will alone. "We need to file a report," she looked at him. "We still have our jobs to do, and I have a few people I need to speak with."

 

"Yes, so we go back to business as usual then." He nodded. Of course they couldn't let this get to them, but they'd deserved a few minutes of just... well, of just doing what exactly, staring at the wall? Crying? He didn't know, this wasn't anything they'd been trained for at the academy.

 

Lexia paused, considering him for a moment. "Business, yes...but the usual has run its course for me." She knew her words would be cryptic to the man. Maybe he would understand in time, maybe he would not. Whether the young man in front of her ever understood the dark visions that haunted her dreams really made no matter. "I should get to the bridge."

 

Aidan frowned again. "I don't get you Doc, but it's not my business to do that. And before you feel the need to threaten to kill me, I will not tell anybody about your little emotional outburst. I'm sure you wouldn't want anybody to know you have emotions." He was a bit irritated; Lexia just did that to him. Interacting with her was very frustrating at times, like repeatedly running full speed against a wall.

 

Lexia laid a hand gently on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Aidan," her voice was as soft as she had heard it in a long time. "But this is neither the time nor place for explanations. Later..." She paused, letting what she had said soak in. "I'm sorry," she repeated, and walked out of the closet, into main sickbay.

 

Surprised he looked after her thoughtfully putting his hand on the spot where hers had been only a second ago. This was the last thing he'd have expected her to do or say. Part of him wanted to run after her and part of him just wanted to stay hidden in the closet for a little bit longer, so he decided to stay. She wouldn't run away after all.

Edited July 4, 2007 by Lexia

[Kansas_Jones 0]

Nice log guys! I like the closeted emotions coming out in the, well, closet! Great parallel.