"Someone to Talk To"

[OdileCondacin 0]

I can't take this.

 

I really can't.

 

And I won't.

 

This is wrong no matter how you cut it, and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

Don't give me that look. You know I'm right. I know I am.

 

I know what I'm talking about here. I talked with one of those from-Borg-back-to-human converts a few years ago. Back on One-Seventeen. She ran a little pub. She'd been a Starfleet faithful back around the time of Wolf 359.

 

She was one haunted woman. You looked in her eyes and you saw that the terror was still there. The terror of being something else. That terror was one of those things that sticks with you. You see it and pray to every god in the old pantheon that you never have to go up against it. Well, now look. A lot of good those prayers did.

 

You know... deep down inside there still has to be part of Burne, destroyed and mutilated beyond measure like the victim of some elaborate torture, but still Burne nonetheless. And we're holding on to him. We keep holding on and on...

 

Yet... surely we know, deep down inside, that we're not going to find a cure. We're just making this worse for Burne. He's going to die, and the part of him that's human -- the part of him that they're holding onto for no good reason except to make themselves feel better -- has to be in utter anguish.

 

I'm not saying he's better off dead than if we actually were able to restore him. After all, being alive and royally screwed up for the rest of your lifespan is better than being dead. But this time, we're just delaying the inevitable.

 

Odile sighed.

 

Someday, if we ever get back to Earth, I'm going to petition Command to put a 'transformation clause' in the paperwork.

 

"If I ever get turned into something scary and malevolent, I want to be put out of my misery."

 

... I know I would sign on that line. But what's one lowly Xenexian to do?

 

Anyway... break's up. You're good at listening. No, you are. No need to be bashful. I'll just go back out and see if I can't do something that doesn't involve being Science's Chief Bitch. You'll be willing to listen again when I have time? Good. Then we'll come back and finish this nice little chat when there's something new to discuss.

 

Odile watched as the rock she'd been addressing dissolved into dusty sand, then the entire hot-winded panorama disappeared into the united sameness of the holodeck, bands of yellow crossing black in the artificial lighting. Something that had been situated on the rocky seat -- the very item she'd been addressing -- clattered to the ground, and the familiar arch appeared off to her left.

 

She picked up the knife now rocking from side to side on the floor, reattaching it to her hip, and headed towards the portal.

 

Bridge, Lab, or Sickbay? She wasn't going near the vampires, the Bridge would be stressful, and her office could be locked. The latter settled the issue.

Edited June 27, 2007 by OdileCondacin