"To the Agony Cell!"

[OdileCondacin 0]

Lieutenant Commander JoNs was ensconced at her desk in main security, editing a report on a padd. It was late in the day and she was starting to get tired.

 

A familiar face stuck her head around the edge of the doorway, the rest of her sauntering in. "Commander Cat. Now... there's something you don't see every day," she drawled. "Imagine that -- they promoted you. I can't think of anything more frightful."

 

Without looking up from said report padd, Kansas spoke. "Hello Petty Officer. How may I help you?" Then, her gazed latched onto the Xenexian and she promptly froze on the spot.

 

"Very disrespectful. How very disrespectful," her counterpart chided. "To a fellow senior staff member, too." Oh, how she was loving this part of the promotion. "One would think that you'd have more courtesy when dealing with a full lieutenant."

 

JoNs then began making strange gurgling noises as she began to clutch at her chest.

 

"Theatrics, Kitty? I assure you, I was considering a suggestion that Harper get a mental health analysis, too."

 

The Caitian lieutenant commander favored Odile with a playful look, before standing and offering a paw, nodding respectfully. "Congratulations Lieutenant Condacin."

 

"Accepted." She smiled, shaking the offered paw vigorously. "And to you, Commander. I always knew that extra pip would show up on your collar."

 

The felinoid’s gaze became wistful before she focused fully on Odile again. "Thank you...but I did expect said extra pip to happen later in the career, if that makes any sense."

 

"I understand that." She lightly smacked the dual set of offending pips at her own throat. "I hadn't expected these at any point. I never wanted a commission." Odile let out a sigh as wistful as the kitty's stare. "But when a jellyfish says to accept something, you accept it. I even tried resigning. Got rejected."

 

The Caitian offered a seat with a wave of her paw.

 

... and she sat. "There's only one positive angle to this entire debacle. That's why I'm here."

 

"Positive angle? And that is?”

 

Fiddling with something at her side, O'd'yl eventually tossed something onto the Caitian's desk. It was sharp, well maintained... "This is getting unpeacetied."

 

The Caitian double-checked on her fellow officer's body language and then respectfully picked up the knife, admiring its simple forge. "Un-tied. Very well."

 

"I was ordered to get all of the 'I Will Not Hurt People With My Knife' paperwork by Medusa. I don't think she trusts me."

 

JoNs reached into a drawer and withdrew two small shot glasses and the half-filled bottle of brown liquor that she had shared with Javin. "Before we get into that, and before you make a smart-ass comment, No, I am not an alcoholic." She proceeded to pour the liquor for herself and Condacin.

 

"Interesting that you have it so handy..." she commented, wryly. "What is this? Caitian Ale?"

 

"Saurian brandy. To your health and promotion Odile."

 

"And yours." She threw back a shot, smiling.

 

Kansas grinned like a maniac. "We should be careful though. Us and Alcohol - bad combination."

 

: "This is true. So. Any way I could convince you that those 'mandatory' refresher courses are... not so mandatory? Or would you have to be far more intoxicated?"

 

The lieutenant command chuckled. "Far, far more inebriated. But, let’s do this - you fill out this paper work, and then we'll head down to the firing range for, what, thirty minutes? To make it official. Fair enough?"

 

"Sounds good. And I think I'll keep away from that," Odile motioned to the bottle, "until then."

 

Kansas nodded her assent and then rummaged in her desk for the correct report padd that Odile needed to fill out, finding it and then placing it on the desktop. "It's a pretty painless form, as red tape goes."

 

She scratched the screen with a short nail. "All the usual questions." Odile took a few minutes to complete it, fudging a question or two that she wasn't inclined to answer in the fullest degree. "Here. You can make the quadruplicate copies yourself."

 

The security officer took the completed padd and perused it, and then handed it back to Odile. "Misspelled word. Third question, second section."

 

"Where?"

 

"Fourth one in from your left." Kansas was enjoying this.

 

"I don't see it." She frowned.

 

The feline pointed with a claw at the offending word. "You misspelled ‘the’ as t-e-h." "Possibly too much inter-ship texting?"

 

Odile just glared at her. "I never text. Who would I text, after all?"

 

Jons raised her paws in the air in a placating gesture. "I can not help it if your spelling is off."

 

"Typo," she corrected, venomously.

 

"Typo. My mistake." A happy little smile graced the cat's muzzle.

 

"The things I do for my knife..."

 

The Caitian chuckled, favoring Condacin with a companionable smile. "Oh come now Lieutenant - I need to work you over a little bit regarding your new standing and directive. I have that little bit of entitlement."

 

"True, Commander." She smirked. "So how does Security like having a furball running the show?"

 

Kansas idly pawed at the desktop, tracing an unseen pattern. "As well as can be expected." Her full gaze then latched onto Odile. "Robair was a bit of a chock to everyone, including myself. And you? How is your department handling the news of their new chief?"

 

"I haven't asked. One midshipman seemed pleased enough. The others -- as I told him, mass suicide, rioting, or transfers."

"You know how Kirk and Co. reported that... what was it called? Agony Stall, I believe... in the mirror universe? Sometimes I wish we had one here. For effect."

 

"Agony...erm...Stall? Sounds boring. Now flogging? There's an attention getter." Kansas had to fight to keep her deadpan delivery from falling into a fit of the giggles.

 

"I'll remember that. Since... I do believe Harper made it quite clear that I wasn't allowed to Brig any of the scientists for hassling me. Flogging might do the trick."

 

JoNs pointed a paw digit. "I was joking. You scare me."

 

"Oh. Well then. No floggings."

 

Kansas flashed a genuine grin. "Shall we head to the shooting range now? I myself could stand to shoot at some targets."

 

"I'll just envision Harper's face in place of the bullseye." Odile grinned. "I'll never forgive her for the paperwork...

 

JoNs rose from behind her desk. "Here’s a secret - the waste reclamation chute down by engineering? Wonderful place to space paperwork..."

 

"Joking again?"

 

"Well, I have entertained the actual thought of carrying out said spacing..." she moved to the exit.

 

"One of these days we'll have a grand paperwork spacing. With great pomp and circumstance." She followed the security officer to the door. "Now, to the shooting range!"