Some small measure...

[Laehval tTemarr 0]

Some small measure

A personal log by

El'Riov Laehval t'Temarr

 

 

"Au do realize that he is aur subordinate..."

 

Her reflection ignored the unspoken. It just looked at her with that disapproving expression and continued to frown. Laehval stared at herself for a few moments and finally turned away, finding no answers to the questions she wouldn't ask. Yet again, she found herself on the brink of reverting to old habits. Her brush with death had changed her, but she still found her new feelings difficult to accept. She had struggled so long to repress them, to become the icy creature that everyone dubbed her. It had been easier to simply reject everyone outright rather than subject herself to tiresome social intricacies. Eventually, even the dimmest witted crewman got the point and left her to her own devices.

 

But something within her had now reached a point of instability. She had come to terms with the trauma of her past and had decided to accept it, rather than simply ignore it. Also, she found that her solitary lifestyle was not enough to satisfy her any longer. Brooding alone in her quarters held no appeal, sulking alone in her office seemed depressing, but the idea of socializing with the common horde of Talon officers appalled her. Perhaps she feared the rejection that she knew was an inevitable result of her previously reclusive behavior. She wasn't popular and held no delusions on that matter. She was respected, perhaps, and some, she knew, feared her volatile temper. It was no surprise that she was no one's first choice as dinner companion.

 

Perhaps there were some that would sense the change in her and gravitate. She needed a core group of friends. Would they bring with them the contentment that she was missing? No, friends would not be enough. She needed friends that she could trust. Implicitly. Lerak would be the first. She had decided that soon after she'd awoken from her coma, when she discovered him hovering worriedly at her bedside. Working with him for all those years, she knew he would never betray her or her feelings.

 

She was certain that the others could be found on the Talon, but recognizing them would be a complicated process. In an environment where mistrust and doubt were commonplace, how did one know whom to trust? When espionage was a way of life, how could one find those that were genuine?

 

Life had been so much easier when she simply hadn't cared.

Edited August 21, 2007 by Laehval tTemarr

[KhreRiovtRex 0]

That was awesome!