Welcome to Star Trek Simulation Forum

Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to contribute to this site by submitting your own content or replying to existing content. You'll be able to customize your profile, receive reputation points as a reward for submitting content, while also communicating with other members via your own private inbox, plus much more! This message will be removed once you have signed in.

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Cdr Rian Kwai

Shame

Joined gods, how did I let it get this bad this time?

 

The shame I feel right now runs deeper and is far more painful than these gashes on my arm. Another trip to sickbay. Another notation into my medical file. Another red flag to the next Counselor. Another potential threat to my commission and career.

 

This is not good. Honest, I'm not unstable. I just had a panic attack. Okay, so it was the worse panic attack I've ever had. Spite, I was stuck in a small, hot, dark box with absolutely no idea how to get out. I'm more than a little claustrophobic when confined like that. I couldn't control myself. I was petrified. And when I'm nervous, frightened or upset, I can't stop myself - I scratch.

 

Now I sit here watching Dr Weber tend to my wounds. My self inflicted wounds. Keeping my mouth shut. It's not that I won't answer questions about what happened, but I'm not exactly a fountain of information about it either. Dr Weber is no dummy. She's going to spot a lie from me in a New York minute. Especially if I start scratching my arms, the exact same nervous twitch that landed me in here in the first place.

 

So I'll answer her questions with the minimum amount of information to keep me out of trouble and won't raise any further red flags on my medical history. Be truthful, but not elaborate. Let the doctor draw her own conclusions, hopefully the ones that won't dig me any further than my fingernails have all ready.

 

Besides, I have another problem to worry about. Blu. I know she recognized the gashes. I saw her face. It's the only reason why I'm here first instead of on the bridge. I'm hoping Dr Weber hurries up. I need to get up on the bridge as soon as possible. I really don't want Blu to think I've gone off the deep end too. She doesn't need that kind of headache right now.

 

Like I said. I'm not unstable. I just panicked. Now I'm embarrassed. Upset. And afraid this will affect the others. Or what they'll think. I don't want them to think I can't handle the pressure. Because, I can. Honest. I wouldn't have lasted this long on this tug if I took a dive every time we faced the bad guy, delusional governor, the Federation enemy, or the insane scientist. I just had one freak out moment. Everyone does, right?

 

It's all over now. I'm back in control and I'm ready to hit the ground running again. I just hope I get the chance.

 

Joined gods, how did I let it get this bad this time?

 

 

“A woman is like a tea bag, you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(OOC)

 

Oh, dear. If I read between the lines correctly, Holly recently blackmailed Blu into getting reinstated as councilor. Red flags to the councilor might not be good. Is Holly into shock therapy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YikeS Joy!

 

Rian, awesome log. Love the avatar!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0