"A Holiday Carol: Security Style"

[Kansas_Jones 0]

12.22.06

USS Agincourt NCC-81762

“A Holiday Carol: Security Style”

* Special guest appearances by Snoopy and The Red Baron. Song lyrics copyright 1967 by The Royal Guardsman. This log takes place prior to the 12.20.06 Agincourt sim.

 

Lieutenant JoNs padded down the corridor, double timing it on all four paws as she headed toward Holodeck two. The holodeck simulation was due to begin in a few minutes, and she had to admit, her natural curiosity was really getting the best of her. Flying antiquated planes from a long forgotten war in Earth’s past. How shiny was that.

 

The holodeck doors swooshed open to admit the Caitian security chief, and she loped into a large open hanger, with tools, spare parts, flight jackets, and other flight equipment either hanging or stored on shelves along the perimeter of the building.

 

The large group gathered in the middle of the hanger caused her to come to a skidding stop. Great Bird of the Galaxy, it was the entire security department! Adding to her surprise, everybeing had turned at her arrival and started to clap.

 

Oh my gods, she was so going to get her aft shields blown repeatedly off.

 

Word must have spread about regarding Katt’s team getting together for some holodeck time, and Kansas joining them. She had a feeling the holodeck exercise had now become, “Come join us while we take some potshots at the Chief”. Hail to the Chief you say? No, more like Nail the Chief.

 

Katt, the architect of said situation, stepped forward, with a cat that ate the canary look on her face. “Lieutenant.”

 

JoNs rose to her full height of five foot three, crossed her arms, and looked up at the taller enlisted officer. “Petty Officer.”

 

“I know what you’re thinking, and its not true. Well, alright it is. I admit, word spread like wildfire regarding this little down time holo match, and your appearance. Yes, you will be getting shot down several times during this exercise, but so will everyone else as well.” The human woman’s smile was genuine, and a smattering of chuckles burst from the assembled group.

 

“What’s the plan?”

 

Katt addressed the entire group. “There’s sixteen of us, so we’ll be splitting up into teams of four. Each team will be flying a particular type of plane. The Lieutenant’s…” Katt nodded respectfully toward JoNs, “team will be using the Grumman Wildcat, as she already called dibs on the plane. We made some changes to the program parameters. We’ll be using planes from the second world war, but the air locations and our trajectories are from the first earth world war. The controls and equipment on the planes are not exactly up to specs either. We made further modifications with some tracking screens and the like, similar to what we use in the shuttles.”

 

Kansas broke down and dropped the stern look that she was failing miserably at maintaining. She smiled a fanged, though very genuine, smile at Katt and the assembled group. She had no idea that the female petty officer was such a flying afficianado. “In that case, let’s cause some damage.”

 

The security group moved as one to the equipment racks, amid good natured shouts and insults hurled at one another. Kansas grabbed CPO Zimm’s arm in a paw as she passed him and purposely took her with him. “Hello Zimm, going my way?” It was not a suggestion, but a playfully toned command.

 

“It would seem that I will be going with Lieutenant JoNs’s team.” Zimm said good naturedly to the team that he thought he’d be flying with. They all waved and smiled as he parted to go with the Caitian. Then, she whistled to get both Lt. Spitfire’s and Ensign Nimetti’s attention. The two ranking security officers smiled at JoNs and then joined her and Zimm.

 

Within fifteen minutes, all the teams were suited up and ready to fly. It was a clear day, and the tracking systems would compensate where needed. The planes themselves were beautiful machines, all lined up in their glory on the runway. The garishly bright paint jobs and artwork (this was a simulation after all) - shark teeth, images of pinup women, and a score of other images - decorated the planes and glinted in the sunlight.

 

With a roar of the engine, Kansas found herself in the air. She banked her plane to the left, noticing that Zimm had taken the position of her wingman while Nimetti and Spitfire teamed up with one another. On her tactical screen, she noted the other teams scattering to the four winds, either going solo and seeking out their fellow targets or pairing up in wingman teams as her group had done.

 

The news had come out in the First World War

The bloody Red Baron was flying once more

The Allied command ignored all of its men

And called on Snoopy to do it again.

Her private comm channel blipped, and Katt spoke to her. “Lieutenant, would you please do the honors.”

 

The Caitian spoke into the modern comm headset incorprated into her helmet (another one of Katt’s “modifications”, as there were was no such comm technology during this period). “I thought you’d never ask. And right now, up here, it’s Kansas.”

 

The Caitian toggled one of the recessed controls on a panel, switching to the public channel. The inside of the cockpit was an interesting fusion of old and modern technology. “Everybeing, this is Kansas. You may all now have some fun, have at it, and you have my permission to get Katt. Kansas out.” The Caitian heard Katt’s laughter over the comm as she again banked her plane into another heading.

 

It was controlled insanity, complete chaos, and downright crazy. The teams flew this way and that, hot dogging, weaving, and causing hell with each other. When someone was knocked out of the round, they just qued up and waited for the next one to begin. There was no score kept, just a department doing that rare thing lately – having fun as a group. A large, insane, and completely unrepentant group.

 

Twas the night before Christmas, 40 below

When Snoopy went up in search of his foe

He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought

With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught.

One of Kansas’s tactical alarms started going haywire and she glanced at the screen, seeing that Burne had snuck up behind her. He had scored a hit, knocking Kansas out until the next round. If this had been a true engagement, he either would have shot her down or escorted her plane into enemy territory. At twenty two, he was the youngest in the security department. She contacted him on the comm.

 

“Nice one Burne.” She didn’t tell him that Zimm was moving around on his tail. “Now you had better get moving before someone comes around on your tail.” Hint!

 

“It won’t happen sir. I don’t plan on dying today.” The young enlisted officer’s voice carried shared excitement along with a healthy dose of his cockiness. He would learn in time.

 

Zimm then zoomed in and got a lock on Burne, putting him in the same position that the young enlisted officer had just had JoNs. Kansas took the opportunity to swing her crippled plane around, also traning her weapons on Burne.

 

The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights

He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight

Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know

Or was it the bells from the village below.

 

Christmas bells those Christmas bells

Ringing through the land

Bringing peace to all the world

And good will to man

 

Zimm’s deep voice came over the comm, his tone full of mirth. “I do believe this is what is referred to as a no win situation.”

 

The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine

And forced him to land behind the enemy lines

Snoopy was certain that this was the end

When the Baron cried out, "Merry Christmas, my friend"

 

The Caitian spoke up. “Here is an idea. I say the three of us escort each other back in and call it a day, so to speak. Well done all.” Burne signaled with a dip of his wings that he agreed. The Caitian then commed Spitfire and Nimetti, who were currently tangling with Rico and Tager’s team. “See you two on the ground. Happy hunting. Kansas out.”

.

A little while later, after all the officers and enlisted personnel had landed and the program had been saved and stored, everybeing met back in the main security offices for some drinks and food “borrowed” from the main mess.

 

The Baron then offered a holiday toast

And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host

And then with a roar they were both on their way

Each knowing they'd meet on some other day

 

Camaraderie, piloting tales of derring do, mutual ribbing, and the occasional joke were shared with one another. Laughter rang out in the offices, and it was a nice change of pace to the somber mood that had befallen the security department since the Agincourt had entered the unknown confines of the Perseus Arm sector.

 

Christmas bells those Christmas bells

Ringing through the land

Bringing peace to all the world

And good will to man

 

The End.