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"Adventures in Quartermastery"


USS Excalibur NCC - 2004 - B

“Adventures in Quartermastery”


Left Ear JoNs was trapped. Trapped like a Cardassian Vole. No where to run. No where to hide. No recourse at all.


The enemy was paperwork for the office of the Quartermaster. And the Caitian was at its mercy. All tremble before the number crunching.


She entered the required information on a PADD, the device blipping happily. With any new assignment, stopping at the ships quartermaster was a necessity. Yes, your uniforms and equipment typically traveled with you from assignment to assignment, but more often then not replacement was needed. And, items exclusive to said assignment were also a factor, such as the off duty security jacket emblazoned with the Excalibur logo that Left Ear was currently entering the order number for on the information screen.


“Lieutenant JoNs I presume!”


A human male bustled out of the back area, sporting the rank pips of a senior petty officer. Her security training caused her to unconsciously take in his features at a glance: medium build, average height, large nose, darker skin tone, jet black hair. If she were to take a guess, he had the Middle Eastern territories of the earth somewhere in his lineage, but she couldn’t quite place the accent.


He took her paw in a strong handshake and began to shake it vigorously. “Klinger! Max Klinger * at your service, quartermaster at large! Whatever you need, I have. And whatever I don’t have, I can get!”


Klinger let go of her paw, thank the gods; her eyes were watering and she worked her paw to get the circulation going in it again.


“Come right this way, and we’ll get you all settled.” He took the now completed requisition PADD led the way into the inner processing area of the office.


Max immediately set to work gathering the needed supplies and items. “So, you’re the Caitian transfer? Excal is a good posting. Just watch out for the Captain,” a chuckle reverberated among the packing crates, “dogs and cats aren’t supposed to get along you know.”


“Oh, I don’t think Captain Corizon will chase me up a tree me anytime soon.” Left Ear smiled and laughed; she knew the dog and cat jokes would be flying back and forth with this assignment, but Klinger had an easy going way that was downright infectious.


The man came back up to the back office area with an armful of the requested supplies. “And where are you’re quarters?”


“Junior level B, section 20.”


“Oh! In that case let me grab you some cleaning implements and disinfectant. I assume you’ve met the Hissing Thing.”


JoNs’s ears went flat in annoyance. “Aye, we’ve met. Nasty little bugger.”


“It’ll move on eventually; it just happened to settle in the empty quarters.” Klinger placed another uniform on the counter. “For any problems regarding the bunk assignments, speak with Lieutenant Commander Teykier.”


“Oh, I am absolutely going to speak with the Commander.”


Klinger flashed a smile. “She’s a good kid, but I need to teach her the finer points of organization. She’ll learn.”


Less then fifteen minutes later, Left Ear was newly equipped with uniforms, the security jacket, and all the other requisitioned items.


As the Caitian was signing the final requisition PADD, Max said, “Hey, can I interest you in a New Toledo Mud Hen’s jersey?”


JoNs stared at the man. “The who of the what?”


The petty officer looked mildly offended. “The Mud Hens! They play minor league astro ball for the Toledo colonies.


The felinoid security officer smiled. What in blue blazes was a mud hen? “No thank you. I think I will stay with the Caitian hover boarding team.”


Max’s smile returned and got even bigger. “I have a number seven Ramell jersey. And in your size!”


Left Ear’s one ear flipped back. “Home white or away black?” Ramell was the star hover boarder of the Caitian Sabers, and the fact that he was a total cutie was even better.


“Away black.”


“Petty Officer Max Klinger, you have yourself a deal.”


Lt. (jg) MVess "Left Ear" JoNs

Assistant Security Officer


*Note: Max Klinger character appearing courtesy of TV show "MASH"

Edited by Kansas_Jones

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