Fading out

[Travis Kroells 0]

Fading out…Kroells’s logs

 

The person known as Travis Kroells stood in the turbo lift heading to deck 14 an empty shell.  By now all the rage and anger that had been in his system had disappeared and there was nothing left of any emotions in his body.  He had attempted to conjure up his emotions on quickly drawing up funny, happy, sad, and down right horrible memories in an attempt to feel any thing.  Nothing had worked and if Travis could feel worried he probably would.  Under normal circumstances he would most likely had freaked out and asked for the rest of his shift off.

 

But this was a peculiar state he was in.  With no apparent emotions for him to be concerned with he wasn’t worried about the situation he was in.  Nor was he nervous about interviewing Aerso, dealing with Ridire who would be there, or debriefing his findings to Sivuk who most likely wanted a report on absolutely every thing that happened there, from the finding of the survivors to how bad it stunk over there.

 

Still, as Travis pondered through his head he found the name and memories of Travis Jon Kroells to be odd and unfamiliar.  It was sort of like looking in on your memories and not recognizing them.  Travis continued on to think about the situation with Garnoopy, and Ridire and his emotions.  He figured that he would keep the illusion of being angry for two reasons:  One because if he all of a sudden appeared to have spontaneously lost all the anger he was clearly showing before, Ridire or Fred would most likely hand him over to Star base 345 for psyche evaluation, Two He figured if fellow crew members thought he’d slaughter some one who looked at him the wrong way they might keep their distance, giving him time to think this through and figure out if this thing is permanent and if it is then see Debbie and get an evaluation and possible prognosis.  

 

The turbo lift ride ended and various members of the debriefing staff entered the conference room.  He sat down in an uncaring and angry fashion as to keep his “Current” state of mind still apparent to the rest of the crew.  Ridire obviously saw this and headed over to Travis.  His conversation with the young Lt. was brief but Travis could still see the frustration and anger in his voice.  It had been the first time Travis had seen Ridire show any real emotions in front of him.  Travis replied with what had appeared to be the same tone but it was in truth the way he apparently sounded in his current state.  

 

The look he received from several crew members caused him to drop his case with the commander and he returned to his original seat and prepared for the upcoming debriefing.  Travis grabbed his padd and prepared to record the debriefing and other questions on to the padd.  He watched Aerso open his mouth and take a deep breath.  The events he was about to tell the people in the room would no doubt be horrifying and saddening, but to Travis it would just be more proof he lost his soul back in sickbay.