Workout

[Simon Ljungberg 0]

Simon glanced at the clock on his bedside table. It showed 5:30 am. He sighed and turned to lie on his side. A few seconds later he threw back the blanket and got up. “Computer, lights on.” Simon walked to a pile of dirty clothes and shoes. He rummaged a bit and then dug out a pair of running shoes. Then he searched his quarters for shorts and an old T-shirt.

 

After about half an hour he had found everything and was ready to go. He left is quarters silently. If Finn woke up he'd probably try to keep Simon from going. 6 am was not really the perfect time to go running but Simon couldn't sleep and he was about to go crazy just sitting in his quarters.

 

Ten minutes later Simon was standing in front of the Holodeck, trying to find a suitable program. He wanted to run, preferably in a quiet place. After a few minutes he found the right thing. Some forest on Earth... his guess was northern Europe. The trail looked perfect.

 

Ljungberg stepped through the doors and breathed in the forest air, heavy with smells of wood, wet soil and flowers that were growing in a clearing a few feet away. He looked around and listened to the sounds of birds and small animals scuttling around among the trees. The sun had just risen above the horizon and its golden beams were filtered through the green of the foliage. This was perfect. Simon closed his eyes briefly and concentrated on the sounds around him, trying to forget that this was just an illusion created by the computer. He drew another deep breath, opened his eyes and started running.

 

At first, Simon just tried to concentrate on his own heavy breathing and the sound of his footfalls on the soft ground. For a few minutes he wanted to forget why he had come here in the first place. He allowed himself a brief time in which to forget about his problems.

 

Then he forced his mind back to the decision he knew he'd have to make soon. When he had talked to Finn the previous day Simon had almost been certain he wanted to stay. But when Finn had left his doubts had returned. The main problem was that Simon did not believe in himself. He was too uncertain. Would he be able to live up to the challenge? This was a difficult situation. He knew if he made the commitment and decided to stay it would be the first time that he really had to succeed. He would owe it to Doctor Matthews. She believed in him and she was ready to give him another chance. Simon knew that if he stayed and failed he would hate himself even more than he did now.

 

So far everyone had told him how much of a disappointment he was. A failure. He had believed them. He had let other people have too much of an influence on how he felt about himself. It was about time he proved them wrong. Those people would probably not change their minds about him but he, Simon, would know that they were wrong. Wasn't that all that counted in the end? Wasn't it unimportant what his parents thought as long as he was happy?

 

This thought kept turning up in his mind for a while. Then another thought occured to him. Wouldn't it be even better if he was happy and his parents came around to seeing that he had at least tried? This particular thought made Simon angry. He knew it was almost impossible.

 

He started running faster. He did not want to be angry. And least of all did he want his parents to have such a big influence on how he felt.

 

Doctor Matthews was offering Simon an opportunity and if he let it pass now it would be because others had made him feel inadequate. He couldn't let this happen... not again.

 

A broad smile crept onto Simon's face. He had made his decision. “Computer what time is it?”

 

“7:46 am,” the female voice answered. Simon couldn't believe he'd been here for almost 90 minutes already. He slowed down a bit but still kept running. Finn's shift would start at 0800 hours so if Simon stayed for another 15 minutes he'd make sure not to run into his friend. Maybe Finn would declare him crazy if he found out what Simon had been doing.

 

Suddenly he felt his ankle twist. He had been inattentive and stepped on a loose stone. He tried to avoid the fall but it was too late. All his weight had been on that leg and he stumbled and hit the ground. Pain shot through his right ankle and up his leg. Simon cursed under his breath and sat up. The fall had been soft enough but he feared that he might have torn a ligament or two.

 

Simon looked at his leg. There was a scratch on his knee and some blood was running down his leg. Carefully he pulled off the shoe and sock to have a closer look at his foot. It did not take an expert to see the swelling. “Great!” He got up slowly and tentatively put some weight onto his hurt foot. Simon winced. The pain was not exactly unbearable but bad enough.

 

“Computer, exit.” The doors appeared on the trail in front of him and Simon hobbled out of the Holodeck. Slowly he made his way to sickbay.