No Question About It

[Tachyon 0]

“No Question About It”

March 18, 2156

A Joint Log by Dr. Jas McCellan and Lieutenant Dave Grey

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The doctor was in sickbay, treating the officers that had just been gassed in the brig. For the time being the immediate crisis seemed over. As always after the time of crisis, sickbay became a recovery room, and a tenuous peace lay over it.

 

Grey closed his eyes in the dim sickbay light, yawning a bit. He had just had a very harrowing duty shift, but it wasn't over yet. He looked up at Jas as she continued treating people. She had handed him a hand scanner for a reason that had, up until now, succeeded in escaping him.

 

Jas put away all the hyposprays she had used. The gas was no longer a threat in the officers' systems. She looked at Grey silently, wondering what he was daydreaming about.

 

Grey realised after a few moments that Jas was looking at him and said, "Um . . . what am supposed to be doing again?" He held up the scanner and waved it about in a distracted fashion. Something was clearly bothering him.

 

She blinked slowly. “Scan for the byproducts of the gas they breathed in, they should be eliminating it by exhaling . . . should contain mainly carbon and nitrogen oxides.”

 

“Ah.” He went to work scanning, but the silence didn't last long. He worked it in quite casually, starting off with, "So I've been reading the research you showed me. . . ."

 

"Oh," she replied, wave her own scanner around Moore's head. She had almost forgotten about that in the chaos of the past few weeks. Needless to say, she waited for Grey's next, inevitable statement.

 

"And I've been thinking about its . . . implications. But I need to know what you think, Jas. You're the expert, after all. If I did this—it's a big decision. It's a dangerous one too. There would be no going back."

 

"Yeah, I. . . ." The doctor's thoughts were split in three directions. She focused on the first, treating her fellow officers. "I. . . ." She sputtered.

 

Grey raised his eyebrows expectantly. "You . . .?"

 

"It's a big decision, you shouldn't ask about what I would do in your place . . . you shouldn't. . . ." She took the scanner from Grey and read it.

 

"Don't shut me out. I feel alone enough as it is. If I did this—well, what do you think as a doctor? Do you think it could work? It's revolutionary. From what I understand, the entire procedure would cure her of the neurological condition . . . it could restore her body from its debilitating state."

 

Jas passed the scanner back to Grey. “I. . . ." She tried to smile, but then her fears on the surface of the planet and possibility of this procedure began to pronounce itself. Her head drooped; her dirtied hand braced against the biobed. "From a professional point of view. The outcome from this is not questionable. I believe it is a viable treatment. . . ."

 

Grey looked over at the monitor hanging on one wall. It displayed a human brain scan, rotating in three colours. "Then it becomes a question of ethics. And a game of risk. Because somehow I don't think there are 'proper channels' for what I have to do."

 

Jas looked up. "No, but the outcome can determine what is right or wrong. I. . . ."

 

"You, know, I've always played by the rules," Grey said in an apparent non sequitur. He handed Jas the scanner after looking at its results. "I've always been the good guy. The one who finishes last. But the universe isn't fair. It's stacked against you, and sometimes you have to push your way through its metaphysical red tape to get things done." He returned Jas' reluctant look with one of uncharacteristic passion. "I'm getting tired of this, Jas. I'm tired of the dead ends. I'm tired of torturing myself over every decision."

 

"I . . . don't think your sister deserve to die. You literally are holding her life in your hands. . . ."

 

The scanner that they had been passing between them during this conversation finally gave up, emitting a single, undignified beep of annoyance before shutting off entirely. As Jas shoved it back into Grey's hands, he moved from where he had been standing, and it clattered to the floor.

 

Grey walked up to the monitor on the sickbay wall and the multichromatic human brain, looking at the icon and thinking. "It was never a question of yes or no. The universe doesn't work on binary. You're right, Jas. There was never any question of yes or no. There was never any question at all."

 

He said this all without looking at her, without taking his eyes off the monitor. A pause. And then, "I just wish that I realised this sooner. . . ." Then Grey turned and stalked out of sickbay.

 

"Grey. . . ." She whispered silently.