"Of Guilt and Duty"

[Kansas_Jones 0]

Mar. 1, 2006 (2397)

USS Agincourt NCC-81762

“Of Guilt and Duty”

 

M’Vess Vacer “Left Ear” JoN’s and M’rrett Sh’aow “Kansas” JoN’s sat across from one another, seated at a small table in a quiet corner of the ergonomically designed, Andorian – themed restaurant. The female cousins had taken the opportunity to get together for some catching up at Star base 621. Kansas was on three days’ shore leave and had contacted her elder cousin when she found out about the time off. Being the XO on one of the smaller Starfleet ships had its privileges, and Left Ear had arranged to come to the star base to meet with Kansas.

 

But, as Left Ear gazed across the table at Kansas, she knew that the younger female was troubled and distracted. She was absently twirling a spoon around her clawed finger tips, peering out the large picture window of the establishment, seeing but not really seeing. The kitten looked tired, and Left Ear knew that while the USS Lago was en route, the younger Cait had spent the entire first day of her leave sleeping.

 

The older Caitian decided to plunge ahead and break the ice. “M’rrett?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“You seem very….distracted. An Aldeberan shell mouth is more talkative then you at this point. Your mother and father have been concerned as of late also. What’s going on?”

 

A gentle chuckle, almost sad, escaped from Kansas. “You are right, I am distracted.”

 

The drinks came. The two Caits drank in silence for a bit before Kansas cleared her throat and started to speak again.

 

“I was recently tapped to take part in an undercover mission, which I accepted and completed…”

 

Left Ear had suspected something of this nature for a few days now, ever since she had attempted to contact Kansas and received a recorded “please leave a message” from her private Agincourt comm line. Regardless, she reacted sternly to the admission. She had too, for both their sakes.

 

Left Ear leveled a glare at her cousin and lashed her tail, “Lieutenant JoN’s…”

 

Kansas quickly raised a paw. “A mission whose details Commander Jones will NOT be hearing off, thank you very much.”

 

She continued. “The mission was completed, albeit with a few rocky parts, of course. But, I’m now dealing with some repercussions from the assignment. At one point, in order to maintain cover, a certain landing party from a certain ship was under fire from certain undercover operatives. Friendly fire has nothing on me, and as you can imagine, the away team is not thrilled with me now.” Kansas’ ears flipped back in annoyance at herself.

 

A small, knowing smile quirked at Left Ears lips; she knew that flipped back eared annoyance very well; she had even seen it in the mirror a few times. We can be our own worst enemies. It must be genetic.

 

“The other repercussion stems from the fact that I borrowed…”

 

“Liberated.”

 

Kansas shot Left Ear a look.

 

“…a small supply of hypos from medical to take with me on the mission…”

 

“You absconded with them.”

 

Another look.

 

“…in case I needed a quick, non-violent solution.”

 

“Self defense a la medication.”

 

Left Ear nodded and stopped working on Kansas, turning a bit more serious. “A logical precaution, but your methodology was ass-backwards. I’ve been there and done that kitten.”

 

Kansas looked out the window again, gathering her thoughts, before turning back to the other Caitian to continue the conversation. “I was on a limited time frame; under normal circumstances I would have gone through the proper requisition channels. Hell, I know the proper channels up, down and sideways as per the security regs. Regardless, I took the hypos from medical without authorization. The Aggie’s CMO, Dr. Levy, told me point blank that she is going to write me up and then approach our captain regarding my midnight requisition.”

 

Left Ears whiskers shot upward. “Is this Levy is playing hard ball?”

 

Kansas waved a hand. “No, far from it. She is well within her rights, and the regs, to pursue that course of action, and isn’t doing it out of spite…I just don’t know how it will go…”

 

A wicked smile played at the corners of Left Ears mouth. “Well, if you get drummed off the Agincourt, you can come with me on the Lago. We have a security opening.”

 

Kansas stared at her elder Guardian. “M’Vess…you are really not contributing to my happy place right now.”

 

Left Ear regarded her younger cousin and her features softened into a sympathetic sadness. She knew exactly the roiling emotions that Kansas was experiencing. “It’s hard isn’t it? Security responsibilities, especially in this day and age, are not cut and dry as they once were. Add a covert op, and everything becomes more problematic.”

 

“You performed that mission to the best of your ability, and I know you’re good at what you do. You are a protector, yet sometimes that role puts you into another role of hurting others. It can be avoidable yes, I will admit that; you didn’t have to take those hypos, and you could have refused to fire on that away team.”

 

Kansas jumped in at that point, a slight flicker of guilt really showing across her eyes. “I keep thinking about those decisions that I consciously made…everything worked out…but…”

 

Left Ear’s paw shot across the table, clamping down gently on Kansas’ paw resting on the table. “When you stop considering your decisions and actions and the guilt that may or may not go with them? That’s when to start worrying, because at that point your conscience is compromised, and you no longer care about anything.”

 

Left Ear let the silence envelope them for a few seconds before speaking again. “Now, let’s just forget for a few hours and have some fun touring the station, agreed?”

 

“Aye, sir...” Kansas did a goofy salute which caused a quick laugh from Left Ear. They paid their bill for the drinks and left the restaurant, walking through the promenade of the star base.

 

As they walked, Left Ear gave Kansas a sidelong glance. “Do you ever get tired of having a nickname after a completely flat territory on the Terran Earth and numerous holo-western outlaws?”

 

Kansas returned the sidelong glance with a smile. “No, I don’t, thank you very much. At least I came by my call sign in a relatively safe manner. Would you prefer something explode on me? …Left Ear.”

 

Lt. M’rrett Sh’aow “Kansas” JoN’s

Tactical Officer