Movie Rant? Review? Social Commentary?

[Kansas_Jones 0]

Let me say right off the bat that I have no idea what it is that set me off about this, and if this topic just goes pffhhtt and sinks to the bottom, so be it.

 

I ordered the "Dukes of Hazzard" remake movie (August 2005) this weekend on pay per view.

 

What in the name of all hoo hah did they do to the Dukes?

 

Now, I grew up with the original TV show, and here's the basic rundown - the Duke family (two male cousins - Bo and Luke , their sexy female cousin - Daisy, their old uncle - Jesse), all who fight against the owner of a small southern town (Boss Hogg and his sheriff - Roscoe Coltraine). The Duke family had a souped up, flaming orange red muscle car called General Lee, with a big Confederate Flag on the roof because of the name. Every episode involved Hogg after the Duke farm, car chases, action, fist fights, and the General Lee being jumped over barns, ravines, roads, the entire Sheriffs department, etc.

 

Now, at the core of all these hijinks, was a nice little show regarding family values - the Dukes always stuck together and were there for one another, and even your "enemies" deserve respect and are family.

 

Now, the show is not Shakespeare. But, it was and still is, quality family entertainment. A whole family could still watch the reruns now, and there'd be something for everyone.

 

Original cast members Ben Jones (Cooter) and James Best (Coltraine) were against the new film. I originally thought they were unwilling to let a new cast take the riegns, but after viewing the new re-make, I know exactly where they were coming from.

 

Right of the bat, the F bomb was dropped in the film. As was SOB, and "b@ll-sac". Excuse me? These words have no place in a Dukes movie. Period.

 

Second, Bo and Luke were written as stupid. Granted, in the original show, Bo was a bit of an airhead, but in the film he was downright dense. Luke was always the brains of the outfit, the one who thought up the plans. In this film, they had him also as stupid, at one point riding on top if a safe being dragged by the car.

 

I actually had no problems with Jessica Simpson as Daisy. **shrugs** Now granted, I only made it an hour into the film, so she may have done something later that would have P me Off.

 

Burt Reynolds as Hogg in the film. Okay, this was okay - it was actually his 1970's good ol' boy film "Smokey and the Bandit" that allowed a door way for the Dukes onto TV - so it was fitting that he shows up in the film. But, as Boss Hogg, he was a little too slick and smarmy, and not lovable as the original Hogg was.

 

Lastly, more car jumps. Dangit, jump the General over more ravines. The car wasn't even utilized very well in the remake.

 

I could go on and nitpick, but this is enough. I just don't feel the remake did the Dukes justice. There was no family about this film at all, and I felt sorry as I watched the Dukes show get run into the wall. I'll leave y'all with this quote from the remake:

 

Deputy Enos Strait: If Sheriff Rosco knew I was here, Boss Hogg would tan my hide.

Luke Duke: He spanks you?

 

:P Way too much information.

Edited January 30, 2006 by Kansas_Jones

[eagle 0]

::sighs:: all to true kansas,it is a shame when the great old ones get a revamp that is neither really close to the original series,and as you stated not the best of movies to be reviewed in the company of those of younger years.

 

That being said i agree with you cmpletely,you stayed longer than i did,iwas

in the seat watching it for about 45 minutes,then lost all taste for it. :P

[Travis Kroells 0]

heh, I enjoyed the movie for all those reasons :P

[STSF NDak 0]

I enjoyed it for Jessica Simpson. :P

[Grom 0]

I agree with you Kansas, Hollywood doesn't know how to make a movie anymore. Heck, sometimes I think our Academy plots would make better movies than 75% of the movies out there. :P

[Guest Vulcan3324]

Heck, sometimes I think our Academy plots would make better movies than 75% of the movies out there. :)

No doubt about that. :P

[Kansas_Jones 0]

I agree with you Kansas, Hollywood doesn't know how to make a movie anymore. Heck, sometimes I think our Academy plots would make better movies than 75% of the movies out there. :P

I think my degree of sorrow is what really set me off.

 

To me, a movie is a movie is a movie. I watch it, and escape for a few hours. I rarely feel the need or desire to analyze a film.

 

That level of ire that the Dukes remake set off - that is rare for me, and your right, Hollywood doesn't know how to make good films anymore. Every once and a while, a good one pops up. Dukes is not one of them.

[mtporter 0]

AAAHHHH!!! Daisy Duke was a brunette. Jessica Simpson, not so much. And Burt Renyolds as Boss Hogg, wel he just seemed to classy for me. I always thought Hogg was kinda creepy and gross and I don't get that from Burt.

[STSF_BluRox 0]

Ask and thou shalt receive.......

 

Dukes nominated to recieve a Razzie.....for worst picture of the year.

 

Jessica Simpson nominated as worst actress. (though I think Paris Hilton has her beaten hands down for this.)

 

Razzies and worst of the year

[Guest Vulcan3324]

Hmm, I agree with most of the nominations from the Razzies, with the exception of one.

 

I'm not going to run this off topic into a Tom Cruise debate, but his acting in War of the Worlds was outstanding, very true to the original novel, in my opinion. If the critics were looking for a hero who was going to pilot the shuttle up to the mothership and take it out single-handedly, they picked the leading character of the wrong book.

 

::takes a step off of the soapbox::

[Nemesis 0]

Hmm, I agree with most of the nominations from the Razzies, with the exception of one.

 

I'm not going to run this off topic into a Tom Cruise debate, but his acting in War of the Worlds was outstanding, very true to the original novel, in my opinion. If the critics were looking for a hero who was going to pilot the shuttle up to the mothership and take it out single-handedly, they picked the leading character of the wrong book.

 

::takes a step off of the soapbox::

Movie was bad, but his acting wasn't

[Images 0]

Jessica Simpson nominated as worst actress. (though I think Paris Hilton has her beaten hands down for this.)

 

Razzies and worst of the year

Well at least in that piece of fecal matter "House of Wax" we got that wonderful chunk of satisfaction one can only get from seeing Paris Hilton horribly murdered. ;)

 

Too mean? Bah!

[Travis Kroells 0]

hehe, death is funny

[Ensign_Rompen 0]

I agree with you Kansas, Hollywood doesn't know how to make a movie anymore. Heck, sometimes I think our Academy plots would make better movies than 75% of the movies out there. :P

::shudders thinking about NDak making a Star Trek movie....those poor poor redshirts.....::

[Ensign_Rompen 0]

Movie was bad, but his acting wasn't

not true...it was a great 60 minutes or so of action...then a 5 minute ending of the aliens all suddenly dying.....lame to say the least.... Cruise was'nt bad in this one...

[Elgor 0]

If NDak gets a movie I'm going to stay as far away as possible from all Security members. For all we know they could burst into flames.... speaking of which, we should have a spountanious combustion Academy

[Philip Carst 0]

not true...it was a great 60 minutes or so of action...then a 5 minute ending of the aliens all suddenly dying.....lame to say the least.... Cruise was'nt bad in this one...

::sigh:: I must comment on that. The ending was supposed to be like that, it's how the book was written. Plus I hate independance day endings. But I hate independance day...

[Nemesis 0]

not true...it was a great 60 minutes or so of action...then a 5 minute ending of the aliens all suddenly dying.....lame to say the least.... Cruise was'nt bad in this one...

So much of it didn't make sense, like how they fixed the car wouldn't do anything :P it was just tech lingo. The camcorder working... like wtf? Kid ends up in Boston? It was like one of those bad sci-fi films from the 60's where you only watch for the comedic value and the "What the" factor

[will_marx 0]

not true...it was a great 60 minutes or so of action...then a 5 minute ending of the aliens all suddenly dying.....lame to say the least.... Cruise was'nt bad in this one...

Ah, but if you were to watch the 1954 version (staring the XB-49 Flying Wing, F-86 Sabrejet, and the B-45 Tornado), the same thing happens as well. And, as Phil said, read the book. Or even listen to the 1939 Orson Welles Mercury Theatre radio version for a Hallowe'en Eve practical joke that spooked most of America.

 

And I think Tom Cruise has been taking lessons from the Shatner School of Overacting (graduates include fellow Top Gun Alum Val Kilmer).

 

Now, you want to talk about a bad movie, look at the bomb Pearl Harbor. Hell, all of the ships filmed during the "live" sequences were dolled up current vessels. What the flip ever happened to authenticity? And having fighter pilots flying B-25s? Two different planes, two different flight characteristics. And not only that, the B-25s were later variants. Doolittle's Raiders were stock B-25s without the belly turret and more gas tanks. And don't get me started on the flipping "love story" that Hollywood seems to need to attract audiences to "historic" movies.

 

Christ, at least Tora, Tora, Tora was authenticly accurate.

[Philip Carst 0]

::claps:: Good show scoo- er, will...