"Dear Debbie"

[FstLtMcLean 0]

“Dear Debbie”

McLean’s Logs

Lieutenant Commander George McLean

Chief Engineer

USS Reaent NCC-3345-G

 

 

Dear Debbie,

 

There are moments in every person’s life than can be described as monumental. Good or bad they make us into who we are, and shape us into who we are to become. This moment is monumental to me in that I am closing a chapter in my life so that I can pursue something less temporal.

 

Two years ago I met an old family friend in my hometown of Kokomo, Indiana. He was a mild-mannered man; he kept to himself for the most part. Yet, there was something different about him. In his eyes burned such passion, such devotion. How could a man possess so much hope in his eyes? How was he not picked up and thrown down by life’s indiscriminating tribulations? I was a broken, bitter man. I was angry at the universe. The only solace I found was in my work. Even that could not keep me occupied. I have been reprimanded more times than I can count. Every potential opportunity to make my life better, more respectable, I chose to squander.

 

Nothing mattered to me. I cared for no one and did not mind that they did not care for me. I felt no purpose. Still, this man’s eyes seem to burrow deep within me, unlocking the last bit of hope that I had saved for life’s end. At first, I tried to resist, selfishly trying to suppress my vulnerability. Even without words, though, he began to call it out from within me. And then I felt something like I had never felt before.

 

I can only describe it as similar to the morning dew settling on the blades of grass overnight. Like a shower, I felt a wave of peace and assurance fall upon me. The sensation began to overwhelm me and my knees gave way. Then, like a mighty dam being unleashed, tears began to flow down my cheeks as I began to sob. I cried years of heartache, years of pains, and fears, and failures.

 

I remember looking up at the old man, asking him why it was that I was crying. Then he spoke, so tenderly, and finally revealed the reason why he appeared so hopeful. He told me that I was feeling the burden of conviction. I was feeling the weight of my apathy towards life and the bad decisions I had made. He talked to me about right and about wrong and why all humans have this innate concept. He explained to me that the reason we feel bad for doing wrong things is not that we’ve broken some rule or that we’re afraid of the consequences. He told me that it’s because we’ve violated a higher law, one that is able to judge even the matters of the heart and conscience.

 

I admit that I was skeptical at first. But then I remembered what I had just experienced. I could only explain it to him as a peace that surpassed my own understanding. Then he introduced me to the hope that he had found so many years ago. And as we knelt there, I felt like an enormous weight was just lifted from my shoulders.

 

From that moment, I knew I was changed for the better. No longer did I struggle without a purpose, no longer did I dwell on my failures and fears. When you realize that your life is not your own and that your purpose is to live for someone else, your whole perspective on life can change.

 

I’m not going back to the way I was Debbie. In fact, I want to tell everyone my story because if I can receive a second chance at reclaiming my life, then anyone can receive a second chance. This desire has lead me to make my decision to resign from Starfleet after 15 years of service.

 

It was my intent to write this letter to you, to give you the explanation that you deserved. You’ve always had compassion for me, even when I deserved none. You’ve reached out to the unlovable and have even gotten burned by it a couple times. Never did that deter you. I want you to know that not only had have I grown to respect you, I’ve grown to consider you my friend. I’ve grown to love just who you are. The man that receives the honor to marry you someday, will be quite a man indeed.

 

Remember me as I embark on this new path of my life. I do not know where it will take me, but I trust He who never fails.

 

Love,

George

 

 

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Thank you all for a wonderful three years. It’s been a privilege to serve on the Reaent. Thank you to Captain Michaels especially whom, like Debbie, has been a good RL friend. Thank you also to Commander Ridire whose abilities continue to amaze. See you all on Thursday, one last time.

 

-George’s Player