A Host of Possibilities

[Tachyon 0]

“A Host of Possibilities”

Stardate 0512.05

Lieutenant (jg) Tandaris Admiran

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It was pure chaos. What had been a headache, admittedly a very strong one, had turned into the worst experience of his life. Reality itself had lost its hold on him, and he drifted through the space-time continuum, untethered and free. This ultimate freedom had its price, however, because he could not attach himself to anything. Memories slipped by, inaccessible. Thoughts, half-formed, dissolved into the vast sea of confusion. Nerve impulses disappeared on their way to the brain, irretrievable amongst the background noise of crackling electric synapses.

 

Something was wrong with him, horribly, drastically wrong. Tandaris, the host, could no longer feel Admiran, the symbiont. Ever since the joining, Admiran had been a constant companion. Now there was silence.

 

For Trills, a joining does not mean coexistence. Tandaris and Admiran did not simply live together in Tandaris’ body. A joining was an amalgamation, a coalescence where the two sentient beings, host and symbiont, combined to form a new entity that was greater than the sum of its parts. Tandaris Admiran was a separate personality from Tandaris Brinn or Admiran, although he was very similar to both of those people.

 

It had been years, though, since the two had been separate. Now, suddenly, the delicate balance of the isoboromine neurotransmitter that allowed the brains of host and symbiont to communicate had been destroyed. Thrown out of equilibrium, the sensitive connection had been severed. This was more than a shock to Tandaris, it was outright disaster.

 

As Tandaris’ physical body went into shock, his mind sought refuge elsewhere. . . .

 

Tandaris Brinn was on the Tslantos Beach on the eastern coast of Trill’s smallest continent. Overhead, the sky was clear with not a cloud in sight. It was a rich vibrant blue that even planets such as Earth could not match. The air smelled fresh. As far as tropical locales went, Tslantos was more than popular, it was robust.

 

It was not crowded today. Tandaris could make out a couple walking along the beach a few hundred metres down, but otherwise there were virtually no other people around him. The only sounds were the crash of waves lapping up on the sandy shore. Further up the beach, the creamy sands turned into smooth, white pebbles, which then merged with the rock and trees of the tropical rainforest.

 

Tandaris had last been here when he was seventeen. He had gone here with Mirel, the girl whom he had been dating for nearly a year. He deeply cared about Mirel, and thought his feelings were returned.

 

Mirel was intelligent, witty, beautiful, and sensitive. She had shoulder-length brown hair and a small nose that wrinkled when she laughed. Tandaris had been completely infatuated with her when he had first met her. Mirel had been intrigued by Tandaris’ sudden social awkwardness. And she had recognised that he was a very ambitious individual, that he had plans even when he was young.

 

He had brought Mirel to the beach for a reason. Tandaris had just finished what on Earth would be considered “secondary education,” although the education system on Trill was slightly more complex. Three universities had accepted his application, and he had yet to decide which one to attend. More relevantly, one particular piece of correspondence had arrived for him, and now he had to find a way of telling sweet Mirel.

 

It was on that warm, cloudless day that he had walked along the beach with her. He held her hand in his and told her that the Symbiosis Commission had selected him as one of the thousands of candidates to be joined. And he had watched as she accepted the news with commendable stoicism.

 

The implications of the news were clear to her. To be accepted, especially on one’s first application, was an insanely high honour. Tandaris would be crazy to refuse it. But it would mean years of hard study, assuming he did not drop out after the psychological tests, and combined with university, would leave him little free time. Mirel had plans of her own, plans that involved her career, and she accepted the fact that this meant she and Tandaris would not be together. For Trill, romance was for the young. After Tandaris was joined—and she knew he was going to be accepted, even if he did not believe it—then Mirel knew that their relationship would be forever changed.

 

The beach was an ending. So why was Tandaris here now?

 

Tandaris got fed up. He wanted out. He yelled at the complacent sea, “Out, you hear?! I want OUT! Go!” He tried to banish the vision of this idyllic landscape, but it refused to obey his command. He was not in control.

 

His life had been torn from him, piece by piece, and was being fed back to him, bit by bit. Alone, abandoned by everything and everyone, the joined-unjoined Trill host lay down in the creamy sands of Tslantos beach and wept. It was not fair.

 

“There, there.”

 

A word, repeated. A comforting, melodious voice that soothed him with accompanying hushes. Soft fingers brushing the hair from his eyes as his head was placed into a lap. Tandaris opened his eyes and glanced upward.

 

“Everything will be fine,” said his mother. She looked as she had when he was a little child, thirty years ago. Her vibrant red hair caught the sunlight and shimmered. Her brown eyes were reassuring. Tandaris stopped crying.

 

“There, Tandaris. Just stay here for a moment with your mother. It’ll all be okay, you’ll see.”

 

Tandaris didn’t know what to do. He felt like there was nowhere to go from here.

 

His mother simply smiled and continued stroking his hair. “We all have bad days, honey.”

 

Bad days? A bad day? This was not a bad day. This was a bad event. A catastrophe. A blotch on his blip of existence.

 

“It’ll turn out all right.”

 

Tandaris could not be convinced. As he sat up, his mother disappeared. In her place lay a single, solitary gecko on a small rock on the beach. It looked up at him—not at him, but at him nonetheless. Tandaris stared it appraisingly.

 

Where could he go? What could he do now? Why was this happening to him, of all people?

 

He was here, on this beach, alone and unwanted. Tandaris lay down next to the gecko and sighed. The beach was an end.

 

Tandaris’ isoboromine levels fluctuated with alarming intensity. If he was not stabilised soon, both he and his symbiont would die.