I'll Miss you all

[Nemesis 0]

SUPER NOVA SCOTIA

Canadian province turned to ashes in radioactive inferno!

 

By PETE CORONA

 

HALIFAX, Nova Scotia -- At 6:29 p.m. on October 31, the Canadian province of Nova Scotia disappeared.

 

"It vanished in a blinding flash of light," said Al Deberon, a spokesperson for Lieutenant Governor William Gassjiant. "Miles of beautiful towns and countryside evaporated without warning -- it was horrible.

 

"And yet," said Deberon, "we knew this would happen one day.

 

We asked Deberon to elaborate.

 

"When the area was first settled in 1610, they knew it was different," he said. "The colonists always heard crackling and sizzling under the surface. Centuries later, government scientists discovered that most of the province was sitting on a bed of fissionable uranium. By then, it was too late to simply move somewhere else. Maine was taken."

 

It took several hours before a team in radiation suits could make their way to the epicenter of the blast.

 

"It appears that a resident was simply digging a hole in his backyard to plant a tree," said Deberon. "He obviously didn't know that a vein ran right under his house."

 

We asked why people remained knowing the region was unstable.

 

"Why do people move to Los Angeles with its earthquakes? Or to Kansas with its tornadoes?" said Deberon.

 

We pointed out that this was not California or the w h e a t - r i c h Great Plains but Nova Scotia. The chief export is lox.

 

"Well, it was still home," Deberon said.

 

"You just build a life and hope for the best.

 

"You know, most people don't realize that the to ashes in radioactive inferno! place was originally called 'Scotia,' " he added poignantly. "The 'Nova' was added when they realized that one day they could all be blown sky-high.

 

"The settlers may not have been terribly bright, but they were realists."

 

Published on: 11/19/2005

 

I must say, the afterlife is a lot like my life before... not really sure if it's heaven or hell... hmmmm.

[Joe Giliberti 0]

The Onion?