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[Tachyon 0]

Personal Log January 31, 2155

Lieutenant j.g. Dave Grey

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It was a dramatic moment as the Challenger prepared to fire torpedoes, to test using a seismic method of deflecting the asteroid. I earnestly did wish for some popcorn to accompany the affair, even as I eagerly awaited the sensor data of the outcome.

 

As the Challenger broke orbit and moved into position, I thought about T’Parek’s queries into the crew’s reaction to her. As I had admitted earlier, I wasn’t that good when it comes to observing people’s reactions; I am not a ‘people person’. Perhaps it stems from my childhood: my mother was a marine biologist, and although I was born in Ontario, we were constantly moving throughout the country—and once or twice even throughout the world—to mostly coastal cities. Perhaps I’m a victim of such a classic syndrome, that due to our constant uprooting I found it hard to form solid relationships.

 

My motivations behind joining Starfleet are multitude, but I realize that two of the principle reasons are somewhat contradictory. As a science officer on a ship with a crew of only 80 or so, I can isolate myself in the lab, content in my relative solitude as a junior crew member, and I value that. However, I think that I joined Starfleet to improve my interpersonal skills—it’s a scary thought, but I guess I am a representative of Earth out here . . . hmm . . . yeah, the Earth seems pretty doomed then.

 

Do I treat people coldly? When T’Parek asked why others treated her coldly, I theorized it was because of her own cold Vulcan exterior—people don’t necessarily expect that, and even if they are aware of it, it can still seem ‘weird’. Yet her query seems to have opened a whole new can of worms for me. I know that I’m often easily distracted by whatever task upon which I’m concentrating at the moment, and can treat people with an absent or slightly dismissive attitude. I don’t think that I always do that, certainly not when I’m genuinely engaged in a conversation, so this characteristic is probably not unique to me.

 

I like it out here on Challenger. Although we have our share of adventure, I feel comfortable in the science lab—more so than even in my own quarters, probably. Sometimes I get the feeling that not all is right, that I’m missing out on something or losing something . . . one look out the window is all that it takes to remind me that being out here is worth it.