Goat-Headed Boars' Log

[Cptn Elias Moore 0]

Kleboptus wasn't the chief of the goat-headed boars of Acamar for nothing.

 

Stature was defined among the boar packs according to how wide a range of objects (and how much of said objects) each boar was willing to eat. As evidenced by Kleboptus' utterly massive boar-belly, the Alpha male was willing to eat just about anything, regardless of size, nutritional value, or ease of digestion. Kleboptus was most notorious among his pack (personally chosen from the most bloated goat-headed boars in all of Acamar) for successfully ingesting, in the span of just a single day, a small hut abandoned by a war-stricken Acamarian family. The feat was all the more impressive considering that the hut was composed of bricks.

 

Kleboptus was pleased with the relationship between the boars and the Acamarian humanoids--mainly one of indifference. The Acamarians were a vegetarian people, so the boars, despite being quite tasty (as even some of the more cannibalistic packs would admit), were not targetted as a foodstuff. Neither were they hunted for game; the civil conflicts gave the Acamarians all the bloodsport they could want. Though a few families kept one or two of the boars as pets/garbage-disposal-units, the most part of the Acamarian people could care less about their goat-headed neighbors. It certainly helped that they had no idea just how sentient the goat-headed boars were...

 

Kleboptus was enjoying a late night snack--a stalactite fallen from the ceiling of his cavern lair--when a violent rumbling shook the very earth around him, dislodging several rocks and nearly bringing down the entire cave. He had never felt anything like it--seismic disruptions were virtually non-existent on Acamar--so he was understandably quite alarmed. It wasn't long after that that grim news reached his cavern.

 

A scout from the pack ambled into his lair bringing news of the most terrible massacre that occured near the Spot-Berry River. The thirteen goat-headed boars of the river pack had all been slain by humanoids!

 

"BaaaaAAaaAa!" The scout reported grievously in the boars' tongue, roughly translated to: "They are not Acamar people. They come from the sky in shining chariots. They bring death with weapons of light and globes of fire and thunder."

 

"BaaaA. BAaaaa baaaA!" (New people? Who could they be? I must look into this personally! Servants! Gather up these fallen stones for tomorrow's morning meal. Then gather the rest of my clan. We must put together an expedition to the Spot-Berry River.)

 

It was as dawn approached, and the fallen stones were consumed along with several trees gnawed down during the previous cycle, that Kleboptus set out with his clan for the voyage to the River. The massive boars were a sight to behold, their stomping hooves trembling the earth beneath them, their remarkable paunches digging deep trails in the dirt, and the titanic Kleboptus himself, with his silver horns arcing behind his head and his long black beard hanging from his chin, leading the charge...