Van Roy, Chick Hunter

[Dumbass 0]

::looks up at security camera in Cargo Bay 1::

 

Today we are hunting the fabled Boozam Chicken.  Now this particular species differs from most chickens in that these can actually fly.

 

I received this assignment from our HoD, who wishes to capture some of these birds to barter with the inhabitants of another planet which does not yet have a name, at least not to us.  Out scans indicated this planet to be rich in bird life, particularly this chicken-like beast.  

 

I'm here now in the main cargo bay for supplies I could use to build a trap.  I found an old camoflauge net and some rope and decided to use that.  I loaded these into my pack.  Now it would not do for me to hunt in a standard issue Starfleet bright yellow engineering uniform which the most dim-witted bird could see from miles away, so I must also replicate camoflauge clothing suitable for the location.

 

::commercial break, during which I beam down to the planet::

 

::sets tricorder on "record"::

 

I'm down on the planet now, scouting out a suitable location for the trap.  I had myself beamed down where our scans showed birds congregating.  I'm looking now for the road that chickens like to cross.  

 

::producer whispers in my ear the planet is uninhabited::

 

No bloody roads!  Well this will set us back a bit.

 

::whispering now::

 

I found a suitable clearing to spread out my trap.  I've set out the camo net and connected the ends with rope.  I believe I've sufficiently camoflauged the net and myself and have spread out what I believe to be suitable bait.  The rope is running from the net through a small groove I've cut into the tree limb hanging overhead.  When the flock lands to feed I'll simply pull on the rope to capture the flock.  Shh, something is coming.  This could be it...

 

Oh, Crikey!  Bloody armadillos.  That's not in the script!  Shoo, get out of here!