Questions

[Ziggy StarDust 0]

The two horses galloped across the open field, each stretched out, nostrils flaring, wanting to win. Their riders urged them on with words, in between laughter. The creek came closer and closer, the one shallow crossing hemmed in by trees, with just enough of an opening for one horse. As the paint mare moved ahead, the bay gelding wheeled to the right, to the only other gap.

 

"Ziggy! NO!" Kelly yelled at him, knowing he was going to take the jump. She started to slow Bess, but knew it was pointless, and instead urged the mare on, so she could clean up the mess when Ziggy didn't make the other side.

 

Leaning low over his gelding's neck, Ziggy whispered encouragement. As they approached the bank, he urged the gelding on, hoping the horse wouldn't decide to stop instead of jump. He felt the hesitation, and then he was flying.

 

Was it a dream? Memories? Ziggy shook his head trying to figure it all out. Did he jump the creek? Did he fly off his horse? Why did he hurt?

 

**********

 

The ring of oak trees on top on the knoll over looked a broad expanse of pasture. It looked deciptively flat from this vantage. Only once you rode out would you discover the hidden dips and valleys, some of them steep and jagged Off in the distance was a rise of hillside, broken and steep. To the right was the line of trees marking the creek, and off in the distance to the left one could just make out the trees that surrounded the main ranch house.

 

It was a special spot, and Ziggy had only brought one other person here. But he knew both women would appreciate it. Just outside the trees the two horses grazed on the native grass, tails swishing at flies in the afternoon sun. Ziggy leaned back against one of the huge oaks.

 

"Well, it's not home, but I can understand why you like it here." Kelly smiled at him.

 

"I thought you would. I can't believe its all mine now. I certainly never expected that."

 

Ziggy and Kelly watched the horses do their slow meander as they grazed. It never ceased to amaze Ziggy that a horse wouldn't stand in one spot and eat, no matter how lush the grass was. They always took a bite or two, and then a step, and then a bite, then a step. If he didn't know better he would think they required movement to digest their food. But there was something fascinating in watching them move around.

 

"So, what's eating at you?"

 

"Whaddya mean?" Ziggy asked, turning to look at Kelly.

 

"I don't have to be half-Betazed to see something's bothering you."

 

He grinned. "See? You would make a good counselor. You can tell when someone has something on their mind."

 

"I know you Ziggy, that's different. And don't try to change the subject."

 

Ziggy sighed and leaned forward, draping his arms over his bent knees. "I think I made a bad career move."

 

Kelly laughed. "Oh?"

 

"No! I'm serious. I think I should have stayed with the Marines."

 

"So why'd you leave? You didn't start your career as a Marine."

 

"No, I didn't. I thought about it, but... well, the truth is, I went through the Fleet academy to watch over Dana. There were times I didn't think she would graduate, and I'm not just talking about the two near-expullsions. I know she hated me be around sometimes, but she knew I was looking out for her best interest."

 

"And you left the Marines because of her too, didn't you?"

 

"Yeah.. Sometimes I feel my whole career has revolved around hers. And I know she'll never leave the Arcadia, so there was no chance for me to move up, unless I changed departments, or left the ship. And I don't want to leave."

 

"Your son is a good reason to stay. But I still don't understand the problem"

 

"When Zel left, and tactical became open, I applied, thinking it would be the perfect move for me. My own department, a chance to move up, bridge duty. It was perfect. I took the position thinking I would stay a Marine. But Moose said he already has two Marines on the bridge, he didn't need me in that capacity too. But, in all fairness, he let me keep my Marine commission. I am simply on temporary duty to the Fleet."

 

"Now I understand. You want to be a Marine again?"

 

Ziggy shrugged. "Yes and No. I dunno..."

 

Kelly squeezed his hand. "You do know. You just have to decide what you want to do about it."

 

He nodded.

 

Suddenly Ziggy felt at peace. The pain was no longer so bad. He felt like he could breathe.

 

************************

 

Distantly Ziggy was aware that he was in the shuttle, and there was someone hovering over him. Had it all been a dream? Had it really happened? It hurt to much to think, but he couldn't remember why. It was easier just to let go and float away....