Partial Duty ((Swan/Curtis))

[Caroline Curtis 0]

((This log is set as a continuation of a conversation that began in-sim.))

 

Kat looked around Dr Curtis's new office as she spoke. "I like your new office. It's a lot more roomy. Oh, yes, Arch was glad I was coming home."

 

Caroline smiled, watching Kat's behavior closely as they talked back and forth. She was definitely more comfortable in her behavior than she had been when Caroline had first spoken to her and that was satisfying to see. "Yes...it's nice to no longer be in temporary quarters," she said casually, not bothering to mention her own surprise at the change of orders which she was still settling into. "And I'm glad to hear that about your husband...I'm sure you were both very pleased to have you out of the iso ward."

 

Kat looked back to Caroline's face. "Yes, sir, very happy. Oh -- you had asked how I fell about the ship. I'm...a lot more comfortable with what is going on. I still wonder what the heck happened, but I am beginning to trust in my fellow officers. Thanks to Tkar, I have been kept up to date with my department. Things are beinning to make sense." Kat was sitting still in her chair, not squirming as she had done before.

 

"That's very good to hear." Caroline had a feeling that Kat had really just needed some time to pull back and process the whole situation; even after just being allowed to rest for a time, she had been showing progress and now she was showing signs of stability and curiosity about her situation which was very reassuring. "How do you feel about getting back to work? Do you feel ready?" she asked, trying to get more of a sense of that stability, and whether it would persist.

 

"Doctor, I think I'm ready to go back to work. You and Dr. Matthews have worked miracles. I can't thank you enough. I now know what you all were talking about when you said I was out of balance." Kat looked straight to the Doctors face, feeling confident in what she was doing.

 

"What we attempted to do was give you time to settle yourself, that's all," Caroline said, smiling at the "miracle" compliment. Then she looked more seriously at the CSEC. "Kat, I know you want to get back to work; in your place I certainly would be. But if you still feel uncomfortable with what you went through and want to talk about it, you don't need to feel ashamed or worried about that. You can take time if you need it."

 

Kat looked away for a moment. She did feel a bit ashamed of the way she had reacted and of the fact that she didnt believe the crew nor even her husband when they tried to tell her she was really home. She looked back up to the doctor. "Sir, I am ashamed at the way I acted. I'm not sure how to...umm..." She hesitated a moment, looking away again, then looked back once more. "I don't know how to apologize to my crewmates. And with Captain Micheals not being here any longer I cannot apologize to him."

 

Caroline nodded understandingly, watching Kat's expression as it passed through several levels of embarrassment. "I think you may find your crewmates more understanding than you think," she said, reaching over to pat her arm gently. "After all, many of them went through the experience themselves too, or at the very least know someone who did. You took it very hard, you took it to heart and it threw you for a loop, but no one can blame you for that."

 

"That, and the imbalance you and Dr. Matthews found didn't help any. How do I make it up to them? I mean I called them liars. My own crewmates. You can't really take that back." Tears began to show in Kat's eyes. She was truthfully sorry for what she had done. "Doc, I want to go back to work. I just hope my crewmates will forgive me for what I have done."

 

Caroline looked somewhat thoughtful. There was no question that Kat was still nervous, but it was not blind fear as it had been before. "I would say that if you talk to them, work with them again and give them time to reassure themselves of your respect for them, things will be smoother than you think."

 

"You think they will really understand?"

 

"I would be very surprised if they didn't. Starfleet is...a difficult world." That was putting it mildly. Having worked as a Fleet counselor for so many years, Caroline knew very well, when she chose to think about it, that Starfleet excelled at putting people through their own private hells from time to time. The one upside of this, however, was that it tended to make crews tight-knit, and good at supporting each other, which could make her job easier on occasion -- like now.

 

Kat wiped her eyes dry with her sleeve. "Thanks, Doc, for the vote of confidence. Tkar seems to be very understanding and I think Jon Shamor is also. Arch just wants me back home. Now I hope this new Captain will give me a chance, knowing what I have been through."

 

"The captain will be receiving reports from me and and from Commander Matthews, as per procedure," Caroline replied. "He'll know the full situation."

 

Kat looked the doctor straight in the face. She had to know how she felt about the situation. Now was as good of a time as any. "Sir? Do you think I'm ready to go back to my full duty?"

 

"I think you are capable of doing your job as long as you have confidence in your abilities and in your situation. I merely don't want to throw you back into the work grind if you do not feel you are ready; it would be unfair."

 

Kat sighs softly, "I think I am ready to at least go back to a part time post. Then maybe work my way back to full shift?"

 

"That could potentially work, if that would make you more comfortable," Caroline said agreeably.

 

Kat smiled, "Yes Doctor. I think that would be the best thing to do. If I feel I can continue during a day I will continue to work but if I feel I need a rest Then I can leave also. would this be satisfactory to you, and to Dr Matthews?"

 

"I will talk to Deb and let you know, but I think we can work with that as the next step," Caroline said with a nod.

 

"Thank you, Doctor. Can I ask you a favor though? I'd still like to have sessions with you if thats ok. It might be fewer and further between but I'd still like to talk things over with you. At least for as long as you are here."

 

Caroline smiled. "Actually I received new orders several days ago -- my post here is now permanent. And of course, I would be glad to speak with you for as long as you like. It's what I'm here for after all."

 

Kat smiled as she brushed her shoulder-length hair behind her ears. "Thank you, Doctor Curtis. It means a lot to me. I will remain off duty until I get my clearance from you and Dr. Matthews. I guess I will be going now; I know you have others that wish to speak to you." Kat stood and offered her hand to the counselor. "It's been great having you here, sir, and for one I am gald you will be remaining onboard."

 

Caroline watched her as she stood up, and the smile on her face seemed to deepen a little bit as she reached out to shake the offered hand. She was still not really used to the idea that this was her new home, but she coudn't deny that the pleasure Kat expressed was gratifying, and a reminder that she was needed here as much as she was back on the Starbase. "I'm glad I am too," she replied after a moment. "I'll let you know as soon as I've talked to Deb."

 

"Thank you,Doctor." Kat turned and walked out of the office standing tall and proud. She had come a long way and she knew she would not have been here if it wasn't for the counselor's numberous hours of working with her. She turned at the door one last time before she exited and smiled and nodded once more to Dr. Curtis, then turned and headed down the corridor.