Hideaway

[Samantha Riker 0]

-=/\=-  Hideaway

             SD 10305.21

 

Silence. She still had her silence, which she was keeping wrapped around herself like an invisible cloak, protecting her from the continuous lashings of reality.

 

Thus far, she had managed to slip through the cracks, so to speak, and had avoided attracting the attention of anyone from Sickbay or the command staff. No doubt she had Hayden's promotion to thank for her medical evasion; if Dac were still presiding over Sickbay, Samantha never could have hidden away so long.

 

Did Hayden even know that she had returned to the Arcadia? Surely the Captain knew, and Ziggy knew, which she supposed meant that Dana also knew....

 

Eventually, someone would come down on her for not reporting in, to anyone, upon her release from her captors. She supposed she would deserve the reprimand she would eventually receive; that thought wasn't enough, though, to prompt her to publicly acknowledge her freedom. To do so would be to open the door to the questions, endless questions, and reports and depositions and debriefings, about all of it, every detail of her time... there.

 

And she didn't want to talk about it. She had gotten the words, the thoughts, the images out, had committed them to her personal log, set them free so they could stop pounding in her head, waking her in the middle of the night, rushing over her like a wave of nausea with no apparent prompting at all. But despite her efforts, they were still there, pounding, waking, rushing.

 

She hadn't even contacted her father. Did he know she was alive, or had SI declared her missing, presumed dead?

 

It wasn't that she didn't want to speak to him. But even sending him a text message would result in his calling the Arcadia, and when she indicated that she couldn't speak, it wouldn't take long before Sickbay blew her cover of silence. Then again, maybe she really had lost her voice. Maybe they'd never force her to--

 

But they would. And while Moose and Dac might be lenient about her failure to report in, Starfleet Intelligence was another story. It were not an organization known for its compassion. A reprimand would be the least of her problems if SI chose to pursue her apparent disregard for protocol.

 

Samantha knew there had been a time when protocol and keeping her record clean had mattered to her, deeply; the memory lingered in her thoughts like a face never quite seen fully, always half in shadow, familiar somehow, yet unrecognizable. If she hadn't lived through what she had, maybe she would still care.

 

The one thing she did know for sure now was that she would never, ever be the same again.

 

LtCdr D. Samantha Riker

aboard the USS Arcadia NCC-1742

TDY: Starfleet Intelligence

[STSF StarDust 0]

Very good log Sammy!!

[Guest Cdr Dacotah]

Oh, you are soooo busted.  :;):