All we need now is a giant cracker

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For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.

-Alice Kahn

 

Adrian was in his uniform, standing at the Challenger's tactical console, taking solace in a certain item that he would not be allowed to bring to deck A at any point after launch, due to the amount of anger, resentment and envy it would entail if he did...a cup of tea.

 

One of the first and most important rules on a starship that must always be obeyed is "No food or drink on the bridge". The last thing anyone wants is crumbs between keys and buttons covered in sticky liquids. However, since the ship had yet to depart on its maiden voyage, that rule could be bent in the meantime. The reason for Adrian's use of the mild stimulant was the fact that he needed something to get him through these tedious maintenance tasks he had to perform. The latest on his list of problems was the scanners.

 

On the last sensor sweep he had initiated, Adrian had readings for the spacedock, a transport doing a fly-around before docking and a large sphere of cheddar with a circumfrence 21,307 kilometres wide.

 

That piece of cheese was mars.

 

Far from it for Adrian to believe that Starfleet's initial technical testers were sloppy, he did have to wonder how in God's name they failed to notice that the system was not working properly and that the famous "Red Planet" was not the bizarre dairy product of one hell of a cow. He finished off the contents of his mug and wrote a report on this latest errors onto his clipboard. It was at that point that a voice called out to him in Italian.

 

"Bonjourno!"

 

A tall man with brown hair was waving from near the lift. Being polite, Adrian gave him a friendly nod and a cheery "Good afternoon", before getting back to writing a vaguely threatening report on the state of the tactical systems to the engineering staff. They would have to fix these type of quirks before launch, that was for sure. If they didn't, things could get very scary in space.