Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

[H.G. Reed 0]

Reed exited the quartermaster's office and started briskly down the corridor, heading towards the turbolift, making notations on her PADD for Commander Ba'alyo. Her solution for reconfiguring the Captain's quarters in order to adjoin the adjacent cabin appeared as though it would work. The result should be suitable for Seiben and his new wife, allocating the right amount of privacy to each, but also providing a shared living space. The quartermaster had assured her that they could begin making the modifications once Commander Ba'alyo gave his final approval, which would be taken care of when she delivered the PADD to him on the bridge.

 

Slowing her pace to stop in front of the turbolift doors, H.G. pressed the call button and waited for the lift to arrive with a thoughtful expression. The idea of the Captain remarrying so quickly gave her pause and made her wonder how much of his motivation was to give his ex-wife hell for what she had done to him. Truth be told, Reed would be lying to if she didn't admit that she understood some of his feelings. Relationships were never easy and uncomplicated; opening yourself up to someone had the potential to end in being seriously hurt.

 

The lift opened and the navigation officer stepped in, sighing as the doors closed. These changes taking place aboard Challenger only made her reflect more on her own situation. She wasn't unhappy by any means, but she couldn't help but feel restless from time to time, more so recently than ever before. It really made no rational sense, but she still had a feeling that she was looking for something more, looking for a reason to shake out her wings and really soar. She was a good officer, or at least she tried to be one. She was confident in her abilities as a navigator and as a pilot, but the urge to stretch herself, the drive to be better than she was, lingered.

 

Major Johnson's suggestion that H.G. needed to relax had again brought the restlessness back. She thought she got on well with most of the crew, but did they really see her as some type of stiff cardboard caricature who was only good for citing regulations? She required discipline and structure in her life. Unlike many of her crewmates, she wasn't inherently brilliant or gifted, nothing came naturally to her. All of the accomplishments in her life were the result of hard work and determination, tempered with discipline to keep her focused. That type of focus required restraint, but now she wondered what she was giving up as a result of exercising that restraint.

 

While she no longer dreamed Quixote's impossible dream, she had never given up the hope that something was out there waiting for her, some quest for the greater good to make up for what had passed, some purpose for her to hold onto. If it required patience and tenacity to find that purpose, she would hold to them, she would not give up. She would not allow this restlessness to guide her away from the path she was on; she would find a way to squelch it.

 

The turbolift slowed, preparing to halt. Exhaling, she pasted a smile on her face and stepped out onto the bridge and headed toward Ba'alyo, PADD in hand, ready to do her duty.