Back on Course

[H.G. Reed 0]

The stars whirled around her, their tiny pinpricks of light bending and distorting fluidly through the vacuum of space. The universe spun around her, continuing to move, flow, making her feel as small and insignificant. Sighing, she watched the stars, some of which were long dead, yet their wavering light still persevered, travelling out in all directions as a testament to their once greatness. The brightest ones, the tiniest pinpricks in the distance, which flickered and beckoned, appeared truly unreachable; something only a fool would seek.

 

"Doesn't this make your head ache?" A voice drawled in the darkness from somewhere close by.

 

Startled, H.G. turned towards the source, tapping her hand against the console in front of her to turn off the holographic imagery and bring the lights back up.

 

"Ahhh!" the voice moaned, coming from the mouth of a dark haired man, standing just inside the door of the stellar cartography lab. H.G. gaped at him, surprised, unable to speak. "You ought to have at least warned me that you were going to turn on the lights," he complained, squinting as he moved towards her.

 

"How long have you been here?" H.G. queried, recovering her powers of speech and inflecting a wealth of meaning into her question.

 

"Long enough to know that my baby sister has developed some odd habits since I last saw her." The man reached H.G. and pulled her into his arms, clasping her to him in a tight embrace. "It is lovely to see you Hannah."

 

Pulling back, she glared at him. "I prefer H.G., as you well know, Brady."

 

He smirked, looking down at her, a twinkle in his eye. "Still trying to be one of the Reed brothers I see, ever the little tomboy. Although, you aren't chopping that hair of yours quite so short," Brady commented, pushing a wayward strand of long red hair behind her ear. "I still remember the time you took a pair of scissors to your head after mum wouldn't let you crop it short. I believe that you spent the next month mucking Uncle Iain's stable, although that might not have been such a punishment, as I reflect on it."

 

H.G. smiled for a moment. "Not so much of a punishment really, I was only six or seven at the time and Uncle Iain had stable boys to do all the heavy work. He had me helping him train and running small errands."

 

"Just as I suspected, he had a soft spot for you, just like every other man in this family. Although I must admit, I still can't believe that my little sister has grown up and joined Starfleet, in my mind you are still the annoying brat who used to tag along after us. Now you are the navigator on a starship," he leaned forward and looked at the insignia pins on her uniform, "and a Lieutenant, well done, I always knew you would be an excellent officer."

 

Turning so that he would not see her grimace, H.G. checked to see that the astronomical data she had received from Starfleet had uploaded correctly. "What are you doing here Brady? Last I heard from Malcolm you were on assignment in the Kriosian sector."

 

"What, I need an excuse to stop by and say hello?" he asked with an easy smile. "Just happened to be in the neighbourhood."

 

H.G. raised in eyebrow, "Brady, you are rarely ever just in the neighbourhood, but I won't pry. Heaven knows that I am used to it." She looked back down at the console for a moment. "I am finished here; shall I make us some tea?" Gathering up her data PADDS, she moved towards the door, her brother falling into step behind her.

 

"Let me take those," Brady said cheerfully, moving up next to her as they passed through the door. Reaching over, he plucked the PADDs from his sister's arms. Stacking them into a neat pile, he glanced down at the one on top, expecting to see some streams of data of the astrometric variety that she had just been working with. What he saw instead made him pause and blink, startled. Then he raised the PADD and gesticulated at her with it. "What is this?"

 

Looking down at the data PADD in his hands and then back up at her brother's face, H.G. suddenly went rigid, her features going blank and her eyes becoming cold. "I don't wish to speak about it."

 

"You're resigning? Why?" Brady's sharp tone was mixed with an air of concern as he looked at her. "What happened?"

 

"I told you, I don't wish to speak about it, especially as it is none of your concern. Suffice it to say that I have come to the conclusion that I do not have all the necessary skills required to be a good officer and leave it at that." H.G. turned to head down the corridor, hoping that he wouldn't press.

 

"I don't care if you don't wish to speak about it – I want to know. What happened? Is this about that incident with the Romulans? All reports said you performed admirably!"

 

Pausing, she turned to look back at her brother, not even bothering to be surprised that he knew about Challenger's mission to the Tellun sector. Her pensive expression revealing much more than she would have cared, she attempted to explain. "Brady, you of all people should know that Starfleet reports do not always cover every aspect of a mission, nor do they always tell the unbiased truth."

 

"Alright, so what is the unbiased truth?" Brady asked, his eyes focused on her expression, trying to read it as well as listen to what she was saying.

 

H.G. hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to explain. "The report was accurate; Challenger and her crew did what they needed to do under the circumstances, I won't dispute that. But lives were lost, people died, and they died because of me!"

 

There was a short silence. Brady's expression took on some sympathy as he absorbed this revelation of his sister's feelings about the situation. "Yes, that's true," he finally said slowly. Not the first mission where such a thing has happened or, I imagine will it be the last. You're not alone in this -- hell, you're not even alone on this ship in it. We've had this talk before, Hannah...you can't take everything onto your own shoulders all the time."

 

Her eyes taking on a pained looke, H.G. stepped closer to her brother, hervoice taking on a much quieter tone. "I can't be a good officer if I break down every time I am faced with a similar situation. It could put the crew in danger, or worse get someone else killed. No, it is better that I resign and return to earth." She gave him a tremulous smile. "I am quite handy at mucking stalls, I can always find work."

 

Brady raised an eyebrow. "Of course, you should resign...because you are certainly the first person to ever be in Starfleet and find it a tough road. Do you really intend to run away, Hannah?"

 

His words and tone immediately set her on edge. "Are you suggesting that I am a coward? Because I am not! I am trying to protect people. Challenger can't have a navigation officer who is unable to perform her duties properly. No one else should die because of me."

 

"Tell me, when you took your oaths joining Starfleet, to do your duty, what did you expect that duty to entail?" Brady's voice was honestly curious, though he kept her pinned with his eyes, not letting her squirm away.

 

"To uphold the honour and ideals of the United Federation of Planets and work toward the betterment of the universe as a whole, for everyone!" she muttered. "I am not naive, I knew that there was a possibility that I would face danger or be forced to make difficult decisions, however, I didn't realize that those decisions would bring me to this."

 

Brady stepped closer to her, cupping her face in his palms so she couldn't move. "Listen...I know for a fact you are absolutely not the first person to feel this way about the sorts of situations that Starfleet can run into – and I also know for a fact that you are far stronger than you give yourself credit for. I am here for you; you can talk to me. Don't just turn your back on your work because it's startled you a bit."

 

Moments passed as she stared at her brother, assimilating what he was saying, using his words to realign, once again, her moral compass, his faith in her helping to rebuild her foundations. After several moments she sighed, a smiled playing at the corners of her lips. "A Reed never leaves a job unfinished."

 

"No, they bloody well don't," he said, with a tone of satisfaction, before smiling. "And neither does my baby sister, because I know as well as anyone that she can be stubborn as a mule when she puts her mind to it."

 

Giving him a disparaging look, she pushed by him, once again heading back down the corridor. "Come along, I shall get you some tea, and perhaps another uniform. No offense, but the one you have on looks a bit worse for the wear."

 

Brady chuckled, falling into step beside her. "Tea sounds lovely, thank you. And what is this I hear about you wearing the uniform skirt, Hannah?" he queried, evading the question of his appearance and shooting her a teasing look.

 

"It's H.G.!" She snapped tartly in reply, rolling her eyes and frowning at him once more.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A very special thanks to STSF Kent for her contribution to this log.

Edited September 7, 2009 by H.G. Reed