"The Faerie Godchild"

[OdileCondacin 0]

Odile stepped into an office right off of the Bridge without bothering with the chime, a scheming, happy swagger in her step. "My dear, dear Colonel! How was your Shore Leave?"

 

Without looking up from the requisitions she was signing, Harper said, "Go out and come in properly, Sin."

 

"I don't think you ever really moved past your day as an Academy instructor. Maybe we should get you a little school bell that you can stand outside ringing at the beginning of every shift. Then OPS can even pipe it through the comms."

 

Sighing, she looked up. "Next time, I'll simply engage the privacy lock and let you walk into the door."

 

"That wouldn't be very sporting. Especially when I come bearing wonderful news!"

 

"Do tell," replied the colonel dryly.

 

"Well, Science now has a mascot. Besides my knife, and besides the now-Mindless Minion of Moi. I do admit," she digressed. "I would never have thought Jamie would have an odder reputation than I have." She shook her head, seeming disappointed.

 

"A mascot."

 

"A mascot," she repeated, mirroring the Marine's tone.

 

Once again, Harper prompted, "Do tell."

 

"Lieutenant JoNs and I again attempted Shore Leave. You'll be happy to know that we did not touch alcoholic beverages. But on the way to the restaurant, we saw something in a vendor."

 

"You bought a pet." The colonel wasn't sure whether to laugh or scowl. "Take it back."

 

"No no! It's a special pet! See," she leaned forward as if to divulge a grave secret. "It's your namesake."

 

"Sin, I am not letting anything deadly on board." She reconsidered. "In fact, maybe we should leave you here..."

 

"It's not deadly! It's simply... tentacled! Like you!" she added, triumphantly. "If it goes, you'll be forced to leave as well. All's fair in pets and war."

 

She sighed. She seemed to do that a lot when Condacin was in proximity. "Odile, I've already thrown you in the brig once this trip; you're here bothering me because...?"

 

"Its name is Medusa. Science's own pet jellyfish. Would you like to come see the Natural Habitat we've constructed?"

 

"Name it something else, return it to the vendor, and get out of the Ready Room before I forget to be nice." Harper picked up the stylus and signed another form. "We didn't budget for pets."

 

"You'll learn to love it. Either it goes or I do." Odile huffed, suddenly wondering if that was the best ultimatum to offer.

 

"Bye."

 

"You want Science unprotected and Amnesiac running loose? Be my guest. But be nice to Medusa. She's like a faerie godchild to you, I hope you realize."

 

Harper tapped one finger against the desk, a habit she'd picked up from General Kimura. "I believe the deal was 'it goes or you do'," she mused. "Since you do have a point about the science department, you'll have to stay. Therefore, it goes. By 1400, please."

 

The Xenexian eyed her, miserably. "Charlie! That's inhumane! It's already happy! And we need specimens from this region of space for study."

 

Difference being, she had learned to run when Kimura did it. "And if I thought you'd picked it for any purpose other than getting under my skin, I might stretch your budget for it. However, since we do have a long list of necessary supplies..." She indicated the padds she was working on. "I'm afraid 'prank supplies' is just not in the cards."

 

"It's not a prank! It's a pet! A friend!" Offering a most mournful look, she sniffed. "I don't have many friends."

 

"That's true." Harper smirked, an idea drifting into her mind. "Very well, you can keep it. But!" She held up a hand to forestall any comments. "But, you have to find a way to pay for it; it's not coming out of the ship's trade goods."

 

"We can fund it together. It'll be part of a plan to bring out your maternal instincts. After all, it's Medusa, Jr.!"

 

"My contribution is not throwing it and you off the ship," Harper pointed out. She smiled. "Maybe you can sell your knife."

 

The normally bronzed face turned a paler shade. "Harper!" Her mouth lacked the ability to form coherent words. "You know how special... you... I'd rather sell the cat!"

 

"No; I need her."

 

"And you need me. And Medusa Jr. And the knife. Come on -- we can spare coffee beans or something. Or sell off crewmen. We have too many after the Gideon transfer. Sell the new Trill doctor. She has a loud mouth -- she could survive. Or Jamie. 'A freak from the Alpha Quadrant'. I was thinking about this the other day,"

 

Repressing another sigh, Harper met Condacin's gaze squarely. "Sin."

 

She grew serious, not bothering to repress her own breath. "Charlie. It was fairly inexpensive. And we do need samples. I don't want to have to sell my valuables to pay for it. And it's not like I bring non-collectible luxury items with me when I set sail. I live moderately and simply. I don't have a hell of a lot I could exactly pay for it with."

 

"All right, then. I have only two words left for you."

 

" 'Rename', and 'it'?" she asked, an overly recalcitrant twinkle in her eye.

 

"Go. Away."

 

"But there's one more surprise!" Odile grinned, savagely.

 

The finger started tapping again. "Do. Tell," she said for the third time, through gritted teeth.

 

The scientist lifted a small insulated case from the floor to the Colonel's desk, tossing it on top of her reports. "I brought you takeout from the restaurant!" Odile smiled sweetly. "It's almost like Chinese food, but they had some strange, special spice in it, which I also want a sample of, with the Almighty Colonel's permission."

 

All too familiar with the way the Xenexian's mind worked, Harper asked suspiciously, "Why?"

 

"No, I didn't poison it. I thought you'd appreciate something nice from the surface besides a fairy-jellyfish."

 

"Why do you want a sample."

 

"Because I might retake up cooking. I did a little back on Shinano during training. No one died, and you could use a little home cooking now and then."

 

"Fine, fine, get a sample."

 

She opened the Colonel's dinner for her, running a tricorder over its contents and spices before picking up an old-style paper napkin out of the takeout tray. "Shall I let you handle this, or do I need to bib you? Those Marine uniforms show every stain, after all."

 

"Condacin, you passed the point of my patience somewhere around 'fairy godchild'," Harper warned. "Go away."

 

"I'll check back later and give you a personal invitation to the Inauguration of the Tank. Enjoy supper!" she called, waving back as she headed out to the Bridge.