Post Support Group

[Annabelle O'Halloran 0]

The meeting over, Anna sat for a moment, aware that people were getting to their feet and filing out.  This was the first support group she'd attended and it had surprised her how many had stated that they didn't feel they could accept this current time they were in as the 'real' one.  The awful alternate that had ended in so many deaths, Anna had the feeling that some of her fellow survivors were almost afraid to believe that the unthinkable which they lived through, had in fact been negated.  Looking across the table, Anna caught Deb's glance and smiled.  Debbie Matthews had been instrumental in bringing Dr. Caroline Curtis aboard and Anna had benefited from talking with the psychiatrist. 

 

Kat looked around satisfied that she isn't the only one feeling the way she is. After all of the testing with Deb and the talking to Dr Curtis, now she had to come to these so called help meetings per Dr Matthews and Dr Curtis also. She didn't need help knowing what she saw was real. She glanced up noticing she wasn't the only one that wasn't leaving, although she had been ordered to remain with either Dr Matthews or Dr Curtis for the time being.

 

Debbie Matthews chose her seat carefully. She was on the opposite side of the table from both Kat Schawnsee and Anna O'Halloran. She smiled warmly at Anna but it was Kat she wanted to keep an eye on without being too obvious. The thought of discreetly monitoring Schawnsee's behavior would have been comical if the situation wasn't so serious. How did they expect to 'spy' on the ship's chief security officer without her noticing it? She was already leery of just about everyone. It was fairly obvious Kat didn't appreciate having to attend the support sessions. Then again, she appeared to have listened intently. She actually seemed more relaxed now than she had been at any time during the past couple of days.

 

Glancing to her right, Deb observed another "survivor" lingering at the conference table as most of the attendees filed out of the room. It was the young Vulcan security office, T'Kar, sitting quietly. The expression on her face was totally passive, exactly what one would expect from a female of her species. The CMO leaned forward, placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin atop her clasped hands. "Interesting meeting," she remarked casually. "Seems like quite a few of us are still wrangling with all of this."

 

T'Kar sat there wondering, not sure of saying something about her dreams in which Vulcans sometimes dream; in fact, she sometimes, if you can say in human terms, feel the persons' feelings in some friendships<Famous Kirk, Spock and McCoy for example>.  

 

Thinking of saying something to all of them about these strange dreams to the people, she Hates to say in human terms, feels for them. To Dr. Matthews, Anna and Schawnsee, "Hello.  Can I ask a question about something private if it doesn't bother your so called feelings? Do you still have the dream or dreams of watching the ship blow up while in the shuttle craft, then waking up as the ship goes up? I am sensing feelings from the crew which I never felt before. Are you experiencing the same problem?"

 

T'Kar sat there waiting for an answer maybe she needs to go back to Vulcan to get help or maybe these people can help her.

 

Anna looked over to T'Kar and smiled briefly, nodding her head.  "I still dream of the time spent on the Romulan ship...and what I saw there.  But I have no ability to sense the feelings of others and so have not experienced that."  Anna added a mental Thank heavens.  She had always thought it sounded quite horrible to be able to distinctly feel and hear what the people around you were thinking.  Such and invasion of privacy made her shudder.

 

Debbie risked a quick glance at Kat before turning toward T'Kar. She was really pleased the Vulcan security officer was willing to talk about her....feelings. "I have dreams as well...primarily of the ship blowing up. I even experience the same emotions I felt when it actually happened."

 

Kat looked over to Deb, but allowed her to finish before speaking up herself. "T'Kar, I am still having major troubles. That is one reason I have not returned to duty. The Doctors think it not safe. I close my eyes and see it all happen all over once again like its real." Kat  starts breathing a bit hard as not to break down in front of her officer. She placed her head on her arms folded on the table covering her eyes and waited for Deb to ask her to return to Sickbay.

 

T'Kar nodded.  She wanted to take Kat, Anna and Deb in her arms and hug them but she was holding back some of her feelings-the human thing to do is to hold them in her arms but not logical for being a Vulcan.  She was showing too much feeling since this incident, <but relieved that everyone is having the same problems as herself>. 

 

"Anna, Kat and Deb, if i can call you by your first names, if I don't offend anyone by doing so; I have a suggestion.  I have talked to Dr. Serpek and Nurse T'pae, and also Ensign Sarko about this problem which I've been meditating on.  With their help, I have not, as you say, dreamed the dreams again about the ship.  The dreams are becoming less and less. Also, my mental control<shields >have improved; I can control the wave of feelings from the crew that I have been exposed to.  Maybe they can help you, too, with mediation techniques or as Dr. Serpek suggested, a mind meld of shorts. Maybe it will help Kat, Anna and Deb, too." T'Kar waited for their answer.

 

Pleased that T'Kar had achieved some relief through using meditation, Anna made an effort to control her immediate negative reaction to the thought of any kind of 'mind meld'.  She had never been able to get completely comfortable with being around species that had an ability to read the thoughts and sense the feelings of others.  An unfortunate prejudice instilled at an early age and one she still struggled with.  The idea that someone would willingly allow another to share their thoughts through physical contact horrified her.  

 

"I appreciate your suggestion, T'Kar," Anna began with a smile, "but it's not something I am comfortable with, and in truth, I feel as if at this point, I am handling the dreams well enough that they aren't any more than uncomfortable."

 

Debbie smiled at T'Kar's suggestion but she felt much like Anna did. Right now, her emotions were as confused as they'd ever been. She was having difficulty sharing her feelings with her own husband. The idea of a mind meld was unthinkable at this point in time. "I'm not sure I could tolerate a mind meld," she said honestly. "Minor or not. I have considered hypnosis. That seems to have helped others who suffer from similar emotional distress. But I'm not even sure about that."

 

Kat listened to the others. She was not comfortable with her junior officer calling her by her first name. Something wasn't right about that. "T'Kar. This is the only place you may use my first name,"  she replies in a snappy tone.  "As far as a mind meld, I don't think so.  I'm not going to allow anyone to try looking into my mind. I can handle this myself.  I do my own version of mediation.  If I want any outside help, I'll ask the Docs here.  In other words. Thanks, but no thanks."

 

Kat, not wanting to hear any more, and thinking she's done with all of this, stands and walks towards the door. "I'll be in my quarters."  She turns and steps through the door.

 

T'Kar nodded in a Vulcan fashion and wondered if she went too far with her suggestions. I hope I, in human terms didn't offend anyone with my suggestions. I hope, we are still, if I can use the term, 'friends'. There is another way; it's ancient but it might work.  Doctors or healers, as they are called, use a plant on my planet.  It's a cactus like plant which relaxes the mind. We use it in teas and wounds.  It might help our situation.  In fact, it was in the package of teas I sent you from our leave.

 

Clearly, T'Kar had hit a nerve with her talk of mind melds and meditation, Anna thought as she watched Commander Swan stalk to the doors.  She knew from Caroline's veiled references that some members of the crew were not doing well, and from The security chief's response, Anna guessed that perhaps Kat Swan was one of them.  Turning to T'Kar with an easy smile, Anna replied to the other woman's most recent suggestion.

 

"The gift of teas and books was very thoughtful and generous of you, T'Kar.  You also gifted me with the lyre and I want you to know that though I have no musical ability, I am still attempting to play it with the use of the instruction book that accompanied it."  Shooting a quick glance to Debbie, Anna looked back to T'Kar, adding, "As for the efficacy of the teas, I don't doubt but that if Vulcan physicians are using them they are very effective, but again, I am not someone who is comfortable with adjusting my brain chemistry in any way.  I'm very appreciative of your obvious concern for our welfare, though.  You are a very kind person."

 

"Yes, T'Kar," added Debbie, pushing back her chair and slowly standing. "I'm very impressed by your suggestions and even more so by your concern for our well being." She glanced at the door that Kat had disappeared through a few moments earlier and then back at T'Kar. "Unfortunately, I don't think there is a cure all for what ails us. Everyone handles stressful situations differently. What works for one may not help another." She walked around the table until she was standing beside the young Vulcan security officer. "I'll look into the tea....see if there is a possibility it would be effective. There may be some among us who would benefit from it. Thank you for offering." There are a few who need to have their brain chemistry adjusted, she thought but kept that opinion to herself.

 

With a slight nod at both Anna and T'Kar, Deb headed toward the door. "Right now, it's back to the salt mine. I hope this session was beneficial. I think we can use more of them."

 

T'Kar stood up. In Vulcan fashion, hoping she didn't show more of her feelings to them, maybe she should go back to Vulcan for some help or discuss it with Dr. Matthews after her shift. "Quite logical, I agree with your logic on this subject." My logic has been faulty since this incident. "Dr. Matthews... Sirs..." Going into Vulcan mode, "I will think of all of your suggestions, If I can use the word, thank you, excuse me, my shift is beginning in 5 minutes. Have a nice day."

 

Watching as the three women left the room, one after the other, Anna slowly rose to her feet. Were these meetings helpful? She didn't know. Would she return? Probably.

Edited June 27, 2009 by Annabelle O'Halloran