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Dark Helmet

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About Dark Helmet

  • Birthday 11/06/1969

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  1. Dark Helmet: Colonial Sanders! Colonial Sanders: Yes, what is it, Lord Helmet? Dark Helmet: Remind me again how we came to be stuck in this void. Colonial Sanders: Ah. Remember how we barely escaped the destruction of Spaceball I? Dark Helmet: Yes, so? Colonial Sanders: Well then you remember how we crashed on the Planet of the Apes. President Scroob: I'll say. Thank the Schwartz they remade that movie or we would still be stuck there! Colonial Sanders: Right. So when the apes had the opportunity they made damn sure we left their planet. Dark Helmet: OK, it's coming back to me now. They sent another ship, Spaceball II. Colonial Sanders. Cheap piece of... Dark Helmet: Well if it wasn't for those budget cuts at the studio... ::Dark Helmet and Colonial Sanders look at President Scroob:: President Scroob: Guys! How was I to know "Dracula: Dead and Loving It" would flop? Colonial Sanders: Anyway, the studio did get a good deal on Prince Lone Star's Winnebago. Dark Helmet: Ebay? President Scroob: No, Craig's List. Colonial Sanders: Right. He listed it himself. He didn't need it anymore, now that he is a Prince and all. President Scroob: That smell was awful, with all that puke from Barf. Dark Helmet: I remember. Thank the Schwartz for this. ::lowers visor:: Colonial Sanders: So anyway, after we cleaned the ship up we finally got underway. Dark Helmet: Guys... Colonial Sanders: So after the false hopes of a prequell... Dark Helmet: Uh, guys... President Scroob: Oh, for crying out loud, what is it? Dark Helmet: MY HELMET IS STUCK!!! ::Colonial Sanders and President Scroob roll their eyes:: Colonial Sanders: The WD-40 is right where you left it. ::Dark Helmet feels around for the WD-40 and can't find it:: Colonial Sanders: So, after a while, we discovered this race called the H'tiss. They knew of our reputation for bad jokes, puns, and corny gags and... ::loud crash:: Colonial Sanders: Hold on a sec... ::helps Dark Helmet with the WD-40 and his helmet:: Dark Helmet: ::huff, puff, huff:: I still can't breathe in this thing! Colonial Sanders: Anyway, the H'tiss wanted nothing to do with us. President Scroob: Sensible enough. Colonial Sanders: So they tricked us into entering this void. Said something about a lucrative merchandising deal inside, so we went. President Scroob: I remember now. We've been trapped here ever since. We joined this coalition of ships who raid the newcomers for resources. Colonial Sanders: So ever since then we have been... What do they call us? Dark Helmet: Comic relief. President Scroob: You said it, sport! ::pats Dark Helmet on the back, bringing his visor down again:: Dark Helmet: Oof! ::President Scroob and Colonial Sanders walk off in the distance still talking:: Dark Helmet: I'm still surrounded by a**holes! Guys?...Guys? Dark Helmet: ::sigh:: I miss my dolls.
  2. Well that sim based on Spaceballs better be for real!
  3. Well my 2nd sim was this past Monday. I was the CMO, but sick bay was pretty boring. Our ship ran into a bunch of Klingon and Romulan ships playing "Battleship". Oh, yeah, whenever LoAmi's name was mentioned we had to say "All hail LoAmi!"
  4. Hey, wow! That's my ship! ;)
  5. So what is Dark Helmet in Romulan? All I know is Spaceball which sounds a lot like English.
  6. I had my first sim yesterday, and it was fun!! I got to be Chief of Security on a Romulan ship and even had a Lieutenant Commander report to me. :o We fought the Klingons.
  7. Hi there. I'm Dark Helmet, a new simmer - or at least I will be after the weekend. I just read there are no Academys this weekend. Waaaaaaa :o