Annabelle O'Halloran

There was always one bar on a Fleet base that didn't cater to...Fleeters. Anna found her way to Starbase 435's without much trouble; it went by the inspired name of Journey's End. When she got the house special, a bowl of stew (meat unidentified) she wondered if it was because so many patrons succumbed to food poisoning. Then again, the house ale was exceptional and you could forgive a place a great deal for that. She took her time eating dinner; she had a seat at a small table tucked along the side of the bar, no windows onto the promenade, no windows at all. Like all good bars, it existed as its own world and this being a spaceport, time of day didn't make much difference. She hadn't checked to see if anyone felt like coming down with her. She'd submitted the rotation schedule for the Science Department to the Captain's attention, and then had high tailed it out, uniform left behind and comm badge in her pocket. Seeing all the freight traffic around the port had made her homesick. No doubt about it. It was nice to sit here and listen to the usual chatter, the kind of stuff she'd grown up hearing when tagging along on the family freighters as a kid. This was a Fed base so no kids were in here, but on non-Fed bases, they looked sideways when a few kids came in with parents, or brothers or cousins. Anna had grown up hearing the stories of close run ins with the Feds, the Cardassians...anyone who didn't have an interest in letting a working man get a job done. Her favorites had been the stories of cargo and ships stolen by the Maquis. What kid didn't love pirates? Especially ones that had the good sense to fight the Federation? She ordered a second ale and while she basked in the ambiance, the murmurs regarding threatened trade routes and the usual talk of the perils of freight forwarders became background noise as she tapped out a letter to her youngest brother, Liam. She'd started it the other day, and now seemed like a good time to finish it. "As I mentioned earlier, not too much has been going on, which if you've been reading between the lines during previous transmissions, is a good thing when you are stationed on a longréalta such as Reaent. I'm not bored--far from it. I have been missing you, though and I've got to admit that I'm a little worried, Liam. You don't realize it but Mamai sees more than you think she does and I can tell you from past experience that she will not be shy in letting Daid know about anything that worries her. If you can't stay away from trouble, then for heaven's sake, (and Mamai's nerves) be smart about it. And yes, Mamai's been writing to me again. By the rate of the thawing taking place, I may see myself welcomed back into the family fold before my eightieth turning. Oh, and NO I am not lending you any more credits. You're a pilot, for crying out loud and that means you can work 24/7 if you want. I don't care what you say about Daniel; he's a better boss than Brian and at least you didn't have to learn under Sean like I did. I have always taken pride in the fact that Sean's first gray hairs showed up when he was teaching me to fly. I swear that's why he holds a grudge. Let's face it; our three older brothers lack something of a sense of humor. I remember-" "Captain Van Rijn, cargo is offloaded and we're almost done taking on supplies." Anna's head jerked as she heard the name Van Rijn. It wasn't an overly common one. She turned her head and saw a young Bajoran wearing a flight suit, and she noted the company it represented was PlaxiCo. Big freight forwarder out of the Sol system, they used Kilo as a hub and were keen competition to her family's company, Wolf Freight Forwarding, in the systems around it. She could only see the back of the CO's head but the dark hair and set of it looked familiar. The shoulders were broader but six years were sure to bring some changes. She pocketed the padd with Liam's still unfinished letter and then picked up her ale, curious to get a look at the face of the man who told the young Bajoran to finish supervising the supply loading and that he'd be there by 19:00. "Doesn't give us much time to get caught up, Captain Van Rijn." Anna grinned and set her glass of ale on the table before taking a seat across from the man who was indeed Andries Van Rijn. Three years her senior, he'd been in her brother Brian's class at school back on Kilo, and she'd grown up with him teasing her unmercifully when Brian wasn't looking. When Brian was looking and teasing her himself, Andries used to stick up for her. She'd had such a crush on him. Andries stared in bewilderment for a second and then smiled slowly, "Belladonna O'Halloran. You have to be the last person I expected to see out here at the back end of nowhere. Don't tell me that I've got to worry about Wolf dogging my heels in this sector? Hey, wait...this is a Fed base." He chuckled, knowing no Wolf freighter would be caught within light years of the kind of security checks in place on one. "Are you here on Whelan business? Who's with you?" Amazing the difference a few years could make, he thought. She'd been a cute enough kid when she used to moon after him, but she was no kid now. She'd grown into her promise. Wincing at the ridiculous name, which she'd garnered because she'd been forced by her mother to keep an herb garden for a brief, inglorious time and had accidentally included some poisonous plants in it, Anna tskd gently, replying, "Andy-Panda, not even a hello? All you can do is malign my family through innuendo and make vast assumptions on why I'm here, in this dive, and wasting my time talking to you?" "If you're as wounded as you pretend to be, I'll be happy to call a medic," he said with dry amusement, recalling how she'd take everything her brothers and he dished out and then give back as good as she got. "That won't be necessary," she said loftily, "I am a quick healer." "And very thick-skinned." "Ah, well now, didn't I have to be, Captain Van Rijn?" She smiled at him and then picked up her mug of ale. "So, PlaxiCo, eh? You're pretty young to be a captain, aren't you?" "And you're pretty young to be...what? Annabelle, what are you doing in this dive, wasting your time talking to me?" He asked with a grin, while signaling for another mug of the same ale she was drinking. "I know Whelan Clan and there's no way that you are running around this crap base on your own. You with one of your brothers or, wait a second...Colum. You and he were bonded. Is he here?" Anna eyed him coolly. "I am not here as part of Wolf Freight, or Whelan Artisans or as Colum Walsh's bond mate!" She glowered at him, annoyed that she'd raised her voice. "As far as I know, I am the only member of my clan aboard this 'crap base' and in fact I'm barely considered a member of even that! I'm in Starfleet." Andries glanced around at the sudden silence and shifting of chairs as everyone in the nearby vicinity moved away. He smiled sunnily as he raised his mug to her, "You've always had a voice that could carry, Anna. Nice job clearing the room, oh and for ditching Colum. He was a lying bastard." Feeling rather pariahish and carefully pretending she didn’t see the barkeep's scowl, Anna nodded morosely into her ale. "Aye, Andy, he was. I just wish my Daid could have seen it." "Anna, cheer up. Even Starfleet's got to be better than Colum Walsh." She looked up ready to defend her choice when she realized he was teasing her. "Well, my second choice was PlaxiCo," she drawled, "But when I heard they'd take just anybody..." "Still carry that knife?" "Aye." "Maybe Colum did have a lucky escape."

*This log takes place directly after the log, 'Shared Concerns'. Watching Will walk away, Anna remained seated, more worried than before about what Tabor might be planning. She finally got to her feet and noticed that Wim was no longer sitting with Jon. She walked over to the table the two men had shared and took the seat recently vacated by Wim. She wished she could talk to Jon about Tabor but she still felt guilty after talking to Will, and Will was one of Tabor's best friends. "Hey there," she said without preamble, smiling at him. "What's new and interesting?" Jon sets his PADD down and looks at Anna, "I'm just kicking around some designs for a little pet project of mine. You probably overheard the conversation with Shane and me about the last fighter I designed. All in all I'm feeling good, how are you?" "I'm ok," Anna, answered easily, before saying, "I didn't overhear you and Shane talking about that. When did you design a fighter, Jon? And what is the pet project?" He smiles "it was back during the Dominion war and the Reaent F was having shortage of fighters so I built one from scratch. It was designated the Alpha Striker which later became the basis for the newer fighters we have today. I was surprised to find that out from Shane although the designs did seem familiar. As for my pet project, I'm designing a recon craft which could be used to covertly scout an area without drawing attention." Sometimes, when Jon mentioned something, like now, the fighter he'd designed a long time ago, Anna was brought up short. She occasionally forgot how old Jon really was. And then she would also remember, that he would no doubt outlive her. "The Alpha Striker? I like that name," she smiled. "I don't remember you mentioning before that you enjoyed ship design." "It's a hobby of mine when I'm not maintaining my armor or tending to the plant you gave me. I have that tendency to keep myself busy to avoid boredom." Immediately distracted by his mention of the terrarium she'd made for him, Anna asked, "How is the beetle doing? Did you name him? I named mine Jasper. You know, Jasper...Jupiter beetle...?" She shrugged, adding, "I guess I might be overly fond of alliteration. I should come see how he's doing, and you can finally show me that armor of yours." "Ah little Vitu, he is quite happy and enjoys his home. If you want we can swing by my quarters and I can show you my armor." "Sure, I know from what you've said that it's very high tech. I'm curious to see it," Anna replied, getting to her feet. As he gets up and take his PADD "I wouldn't call it 'high tech' since it's almost as old as I am, but I keep it in top condition in the rare event that I need it for anything." "Maybe I got the wrong impression because some of the technology you've talked about is very sophisticated," Anna replied, as she walked next to him down the corridor, heading for the nearest turbo lift. She thought uneasily about the nanoprobes that had been removed from him during surgery but didn't say anything; Jon had said he didn't know where they came from or how they'd come to be inside of his body. Strange. "In most cases the Zemuns, as well as the other three Alliance races, refine their technology as well as maintain it which often gives other races the indication that our tech was sophisticated. I must ask you to be careful with some of the swords and other weapons I have, they can be very sharp." Anna gave Jon a sideways look at his warning, which she knew was sincere and said out of concern for her safety. "Jon, you know I'm a journeyman level metal smith and am used to handling very sharp blades." As they reach his quarters he opens the door "I know of your skills but I just wanted to give you a heads up just in case. Better to be safe than injured." He motions Anna to enter his quarters. Anna preceded him through the door, and stepped to the side, looking around with interest. "You're right, Jon," she agreed, her mind moving ahead, looking forward to seeing the armor she'd heard so much about." "The armor has served me well as have the weapons I have as well." "It sounds like you've taken care of it as well as it has taken care of you," Anna said with a smile, as she walked to the terrarium displayed in the living area. She leaned down and looked through the glass, seeing the small, teal colored beetle making his way through the growing moss in the small container garden. She gently tapped the glass, not expecting any response or deviation in the beetle's movements. He smiles as he watches Anna check on the beetle. "He's been quite active in there, he must really like his home. How's your plant doing?" "My terrarium is doing as well as this one," she replied. "The moss and small ferns from the starbase arboretum have thrived." She turned away, and walked back towards Jon. "I'm really glad to have gotten a souvenir from there. I loved that garden," she said simply." "That's great to hear, that starbase had a wonderful garden. I'm glad you took me there when you did." "I was glad to show you," she said, pleased that he had enjoyed it as well. She walked past him, her gaze on the armor hanging on the wall. "It's beautiful," she said, looking closely at the finely wrought metal work. "The detail is incredible." She knew first hand how much skill it took to create what in reality, could be called a work of art, albeit a functional one. "A marriage between the craftsmanship of the ancients and the technology of the pioneers. The perfect balance with maximum effectiveness. Though this particular suit was used for ending a war rather than keeping the peace." Looking from the suit displayed on the wall to the man standing next to her, Anna imagined him in it, and the bloody work he probably had to do while wearing it. It was beautifully made but it had been created to be functional; to protect its wearer in battle. "And it was successful?" Grinning slightly "I'm still alive as you can see so it has proven its usefulness. Though there were times where it had to be fixed which could be seen after close examination." "I can see that," Anna said with a quick grin. "I meant, was the war ended quickly or did it drag on?" Jon's life span was so long that Anna wasn't even sure how long ago the war in question had been fought. He nodded "the war lasted 10 years, marked by the final battle which changed many." "Ten years is a long time to wage war," Anna said, thinking that even to a man who'd lived more than 2300 years, ten years of constant fighting must have taken some kind of toll. Shrugging his shoulders, "When a technologically advanced empire wants to conquer the galaxy, someone has to stop them or no one would be free." "This is when you were with the Knights?" He'd mentioned them before. "That is correct, though when it comes to war neither side is free of fault. I'd rather not talk about it since it's a touchy subject." As so often happened in conversations with Jon, Anna felt that she'd inadvertently ripped the scab off of something painful to him. "Of course, we don't have to talk about it," she said gently, and quickly changed the subject. "I'm looking forward to seeing what this space station we're heading to is like." "Maybe there'll be some good food to try out. I'm quite relieved that things have gone so smoothly." "It's always fun to see if the local food is any good but I have a soft spot for space stations that are not Federation. They remind me of home and I always think I might run into someone I know." Anna shrugged, her smile a little wistful. "Space stations also make me homesick." "I think I understand, but know there are those aboard who care about you so you shouldn't worry too much." Very touched, Anna took his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you, Jon. It's not a question of worry. I know my life is here, on Reaent, but I can't help thinking of those I left behind." "Never think of them as left behind; try thinking of them as those who catch up," he said with a smile. "It would be nice if I thought they would," she replied, but she did feel comforted."

After finding that Anna wasn't at her office, Will enters SciLab3 and sees Anna pouring over something. "Hey Anna." Anna heard the doors to the lab open, but hadn't looked up, her thoughts still on the problem of why her lichen were stubbornly refusing to live. "Obstinate," she muttered and then looked up, surprised to see Will Tomlinson standing there. "Hey yourself," she smiled. "What are you doing here?" Will smiled and shrugged "Well I just finished doing some high-speed skiing and now I'm hungry. Want to grab a bite to eat?" "Skiing, huh?" She noticed his skin did look a little wind burned, and she couldn't help asking, "Up in Big Bear? Managed to dodge a few avalanches? Were any of those hungry bears in evidence?" Will laughed in response, "No avalanches, no bears, just serious high speed downhilling. So, lunch?" Will puts on his most charming smile on for her. "Lunch is good," Anna nodded in agreement. "Believe me, I'm happy to get out of this lab. I get very crabby when a project doesn't cooperate and a little breather would be good." Anna took off her lab coat and left it draped over a stool. She was debating with herself whether or not to talk to Will about Tabor Nansk. She knew both men were friends but Tabor had talked with her in confidence. He hadn't said not to talk to anyone about it, but the implication had certainly been there. Still...She was worried. Will spoke as they left the lab, "So what project is giving you a hard time?" "Lichen. Death of." Anna answered a little glumly. "Fungus and alga are not cooperating in my little corner of the universe." She looked ahead down the corridor, still debating with herself. As Will summons a TL, he notices that she is really bothered, "Well, if anyone can get it to work, it's you." Enters the TL after her and the TL whisks them away. "Hmm? What, oh yes, thank you, Will. I'm not giving up on it," she answered a little absently. "Will... I was wondering..." She stopped talking as the lift doors opened. Stepping forward, she turned and then stood for a second, waiting for him. Steps with her and prompts her, "Wondering?" In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought, having started, she didn't want to stop. "Tabor Nansk. Has he mentioned that he's working on a special project or anything like that?" Will's smile instantly turned into a frown as they entered the lounge. He chose a secluded table where they could talk, "No but I think he's up to something he shouldn't be. Why do you ask?" "That he shouldn't be..." Anna echoed back to him, as she sat down across from Will. She glanced around, trying to think of how best to describe what Tabor had asked her and saw Jon and Wim at a table. Waving to them, she was still smiling as she looked back to Will, but it faded quickly. "He came to ask me about a project that he's working on and I was just wondering if he'd talked to you about it, but from what you just said, he hasn't." Will sat back, "Anna, ever since that fiasco with the anomaly he's been acting strange and whatever he is up to, he's completely shut me out. He was under heavy stress but suddenly he was fine. Nobody pulls a 180 that fast. What did he ask about?" He asked, looking back at her in a questioning but friendly way not wanting to pressure her. She reminded herself that Will was Tabor's friend and since Will was also concerned about his fellow pilot, she really felt it was in Tabor's best interests to talk to Will about it. "He had some calculations he wanted me to look at. He's almost obsessed with finding a power delivery system that's small in size." Anna broke off as a waiter came to their table and they went through the business of ordering. After he left, she looked back to Will. "It has everything to do with the anomaly." Will finished ordering and listened to what Anna had to say. "A small power source and the anomaly, any idea why?" "The 'why' I'm not clear on, and he didn't come right out and say what he wanted to achieve but I am almost certain he plans on returning to that area of space and attempting to recreate the conditions that caused the anomaly." Anna sat back, her worried expression telling its own story. "I think he has a wrong idea about what happened." Will sits back and stares off as he digests what has been said, "He is going back to the anomaly and recreate the wormhole." His eyes flash with a realization and looks at Anna when she finishes her statement, "Wrong idea, how?" "We thoroughly studied the logs of both Reaent's after the timeline diverge occurred and we did the same for the drone we recovered from our first pass through the wormhole. It's actually easy to understand how the Romulans used the drone to trigger the opening of the wormhole and it's clear that they were only able to do so because that area of subspace was already weakened from an unknown event that probably had something to do with what happened to the Proxima more than 20 years ago. None of what we studied gives any clue whatsoever to why the temporal anomaly occurred. My own belief is that another element was responsible. An element we've not been able to find or identify. I think Tabor believes the drone is the key to triggering it, and I firmly believe it isn't. Anna took a deep breath, and swallowed back a deep feeling of guilt. "Starfleet took possession of the drone, the logs, everything we had relating to the incident. However... I'd keep a copy of the drone's schematics. I wasn't asked for any materials, and I didn't volunteer to offer them up. I let Tabor have a copy when he asked about it." She rubbed the back of her neck, and watched Will's expression. "If I hadn't given it to him, I don't know that he would be pursuing whatever it is he's doing now." Will's frown deepened slightly but caught Anna's look, "Don't blame yourself. He asked and there was no real reason not to trust him." Will smiled, "Anna how much power would be needed and how big was the drone?" She smiled faintly at his attempt at reassurance, and then leaned back in her seat as the waiter came back with a tray. She bided her time while the plates and glasses were set before them, and then picking up a fork, leaned forward, her attention on Will and not the salad now sitting in front of her. "The drone is not that big, but it's still sizable if you're thinking of incorporating into a fighter although it could certainly take the place of normal ordnance payload. The power problem though..." Anna took a bite of her salad as she thought about how to explain that. This was the most worrisome part of the conversation she'd had with Tabor. She set her fork down, and took a deep breath. "We used our impulse engines to power the drone and then used a magneton beam to trigger the opening of the wormhole so we could place the mines we received from the Excalibur. "Will, Tabor asked me about using a quantum singularity. He is thinking of creating a miniature artificial black hole. The same energy source that the Romulans use to power their ships." "A small power source. What about the warhead of a quantum torpedo? Could the matter/antimatter matrix of a quantum supply the necessary power?" "I'm not sure, Will." Anna thought about it, saying, "I would have to take a look at the power output levels, but...do you think that's something Tabor has already looked at? My fear is that he will somehow manage to figure out a way to utilize a quantum singularity and that would be disastrous if something went wrong. That area of subspace is already so weakened that an explosion of that time could conceivably tear the fabric of space apart." Will nodded and took a last bite of his meal before standing, "Any way you slice it we have enough to go to Angel, Ridire and the Captain. First we need to secure Tabor and stop this insanity before he causes not only a subspace catastrophe, but a full scale war with Romulans. IF he causes an explosion or a rupture in subspace with devastating results, the Romulans can claim that it was a Federation first strike." "I know," Anna said quietly. Her lunch only half finished. She'd lost her appetite. 'I don't know how far he's gotten but don't you think you should talk to Lt. Angeliz before it goes any further up the chain? Tabor went through a lot in the anomaly and this, well this is something that could end his career."

Anna left the bridge. Dominick and Tobias were working on the final transmissions sent from the buoy before it stopped relaying and she was hoping they would be able to easily see what it was, that it would be innocuous and they could just backtrack and relaunch. She entered the lab and went immediately to a workstation and logged in. She brought up the original schematics that Tobias had worked on and keyed on possible problem areas. Tobias entered only a few minutes after her. While he could of done his work on the bridge, having the full range of testing devices in the lab would speed things up. That, and the entire department had been on the bridge, and being that he wasn't fan of that place, he decided to let someone else have the pleasure of working with the big shots. Glancing away from the screen, Anna looked enquiringly at Tobias as he came in. "Find anything?" She asked hopefully, although his expression didn't look any too promising. "No, not yet." He frowned slightly, and moved next to her, observing her work. "Any luck on your end?" She angled the screen so he could see it easily, shaking her head, as she answered, "Nope, nothing. I brought up the schematics you worked on---I know you did some modifications and I'm just looking for, or let's just say I'm hoping to find a possible glitch, but for a biologist I make a pretty lousy engineer." She shot him a smile and then leaned back in the seat. "How about you take a look?" "I doubt that there is a fault with my programming, but I'll take a look." He leaned into a console, looking over the code programming of the buoy. "Oh, I doubt very much there's a fault with your programming," Anna agreed easily, "but they do have a small percentage of failure and maybe it would be a good idea for you to find out what that failure usually entails and then try reprogramming it as a possible fix?" He raised a brow towards her, wondering if she usually had such a gift for words. "Agreed. I am looking now, but until we know the physical cause, the logical one will be hard to determine." "I'm just looking at all our options, Tobias. It may end up that we go all the way back and drag the thing back into the cargo bay, give it a good talking to and then send it back out with a second chance to prove itself." She looked at him, gauging his reaction, before continuing quietly, "We have the resources and time to try several different approaches and my personal opinion, no matter what Commander Murray says is, that it's probably a glitch, however..." Anna paused, her eyes gleaming with humor, "I have to admit, though I will deny it if you repeat it to him, Commander Murray is often, and quite aggravatingly correct. We could very well be looking at Gorn interference. If so, then well, it's up to the Captain where the line is drawn. Our job is to exhaust every possibility it's in our power to explore and if that means you get to try reprogramming from a distance, so be it." "Yes. The Gorn would seem to have little to gain by this course of action, but they've been proven to march to the beat of their own drum." He smirked, always enjoying that human saying. He paused to consider the variables, before taking a deep breath and sighing. "At least it doesn't smell in here anymore." "The Gorn aren't big traders, so I'm not familiar with them," Anna replied absently, and with some regret. "My family mostly trades in the Alpha Quadrant so I'd never heard much about them till they were covered at the Academy, and even then, I was more interested in their physiology than their politics." She gave Tobias a puzzled look and sniffed the air, before asking him, "What do you mean it smelled?" He shook his head at the memory. "Some clueless Lieutenant was running chemical tests in here earlier and flooded the labs with noxious gas. I informed him of the need for safety protocols." He turned from the console towards Anna. "So, your family are merchants?" "Yes, they are," Anna replied, giving him a measured look and recalling at almost the same instant, Dominick Pneuma's complaint about a pushy ensign. "Tobias, are you referring to Lt. Pneuma?" "I believe so. I'd never met him before, but a couple crewmen identified him as such." "You're going to learn, if you haven't already that I don't stand on ceremony," Anna began quietly. "But Tobias, you are an ensign, no matter that there is some bright and shiny brass in your Host history. If you have a problem with a higher ranking officer, then I want to know about it." She met his gaze with a level one of her own. "But, It's not appropriate for you to insult any officer or crew member, and I'm sure I don't need to remind you that Lt. Pneuma is a ranking officer. He has more time in rank than I do and though you aren't privy to the information in his file, he is an exemplary officer and an asset to this department, just as you are." "As you wish. However, I should state that my intent was not to insult the Lieutenant. I recognize his seniority over me, but that does not make him immune to errors. I thought it prudent to address the situation with him. Had the mixture been more...noxious there would have been a risk to the lab crew." There was no malice on his face, but he met her gaze with a very serious tone. "I apologize for stepping beyond my place. In the future, I'll consult such issues with you." "I hope that you do, Tobias. I trust and depend on your judgment, she said, her expression softening as she nodded, accepting his concern over possibly ignored safety protocols as genuine. "We do work with hazardous materials and you're right...the lab is no place for carelessness." She smiled wryly, meeting his eyes, "It's not as if serving upon the Reaent isn't already living dangerously enough." "Yes, many of the crew have told me what's considered exciting on this ship." A small grin formed. "It's another reason I chose my posting here. Hopefully I'll run into something I've never seen." "Ah, Tobias," Anna's eyes gleamed with humor and just a little of the fearful superstition she'd been raised with. "Haven't you ever heard, Be careful what you wish for?"

Sometimes too much choice was a bad thing. The past couple of days had been stressful and Anna, dressed for hiking, had two hours of holodeck time reserved and was in a hurry to pick one as she scrolled through the programs available, emphasis on hiking in natural spaces that didn't require a life support unit, and having a difficulty rating of moderate to difficult. She had decided to try each of them at least once. However, she hated doing things by alpha search; A to Z quests lacked all whimsy. In her heart of hearts, she really did feel that more excitement lurked in appellations that made use of x, y or z than those that had the misfortune of being first in line at a, b or c. Although... Big Bear. One of the programs was named for a large ursine. Maybe there were bears in the program. Did she want to hike with bears? There was nothing in the content listing to lead her to think it was one of those programs that honed your survival skills by being hunted by indigenous animal life. A time period wasn't indicated, so it didn't matter. The description just mentioned that the place was named after grizzly bears and it was a lake in the San Bernardino Mountains of Southern California. Easy choice...it reminded her of her Academy years spent in San Francisco. A few quick taps to the control panel outside the holodeck and a brief moment for the program to take effect, and the holodeck doors slid back to reveal very picturesque and forested mountains. Turning, she had a view of the lake, and she stood for a moment, enjoying the sight of the overhead clouds reflected in the water. The program promised that the hiking trails experienced swift and extreme changes in elevation. There would subalpine meadows full of flowers, lots of streams, and the lake with boats and fishing gear on hand, although fishing could wait for a return visit, when the purpose wasn't for exercise. There was also skiing, she'd noticed, but that was if you chose to make it a late fall/winter visit. She didn't know how to ski, and would rather go in early summer. She'd also programmed a partly cloudy day with an afternoon thunderstorm due to roll in. She loved storms and had a poncho with hood rolled up in her light backpack, along with lunch and water. This was going to be fun, she thought, as she shouldered the backpack and adjusted its straps. About 5 minutes later... Will Tomlinson, dressed in comfortable civvies, was walking around on deck 7; just wandering a bit when he saw that Holodeck 1 was activated. On a whim, he decided to bring up the program that was playing and was pleasantly surprised that his "Big Bear" program was active. He brought up who was inside and smiled when he found that it was Lt. Anna O'Halloran. He'd seen the newly appointed Chief Science Officer a few times but never had the chance to speak to her. Opening the doors to the Holodeck, he smiled as he entered, once again enjoying the view of his hometown. He looked around and spotted Anna as she was looking at the lake a few meters away. Walking up, he spoke, "Welcome to my home town, Lieutenant." He smiled warmly. The ambient sounds of the program had blocked the sound of the doors opening, and Anna turned in surprise as she was addressed. She smiled automatically, as she recognized Will Tomlinson, and greeted him in kind with a 'Hello, Lieutenant', her momentary confusion at seeing the pilot fading as she registered that the program represented his home on Earth. "You're lucky in your home's natural beauty," Anna stated, before asking, "Is this your program, then?" She suddenly felt a little awkward, adding almost apologetically, "It's listed with the public programs, but if you were wanting to use it, I can release it and pick something else. I only just started it..." Will kept a warm smile while he spoke, "Actually I just happened by the holodeck and saw that this program was on. And you are welcome to use this program. My Dad gave me this program for when I ever got homesick. That's why I call this program "A little taste of home." Notices her gear and the apparent time as well as season of the program, "A little nature hike on your plate for today?" Anna felt a sudden stab of envy and wondered what it must be like to have your father be so supportive and understanding of your career that he actually gave you a little slice of home in case you were in need of comfort. Of course, a holoprogram about Kilo station was more likely to be of interest to Federation Intel than useful as a cure for homesickness, she thought and the smile she flashed back to Will was full of restrained humor. "That was a wonderful idea on his part, and as for 'little nature hike', I was hoping to be challenged by Big Bear's trails. They sound like a real workout." She sent a cautious look towards a stand of fir trees where the trail began and then looked back to Will. "Lieutenant...are there bears?" Will laughed at her question, "Yes but only if you want there to be bears. And call me Will please, we're off duty right now." He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, "You know, since we're both off right now, mind if I join you for a little trip? I can show you some of the best trails and I know a great place that you can overlook the lake." "That's generous of you, Will," Anna answered and wondered if he was just too nice to tell her he'd rather use the program himself, and instead was willing to share it with her. On the other hand, maybe he wanted to make sure she got full benefit from the program; it was a representation of his home and it was natural that he'd want to show it off. If she came from a place this beautiful, she'd enjoy introducing people to it, too. Decision made, she smiled easily, her eyes brightening with enthusiasm. "If you've got the time and don't mind spending it playing trail guide, I'd appreciate the company." Will nodded, "Give me a few minutes then. Computer, hiking gear package Beta." A medium pack that appeared to be full of stuff along with some cooking gear and other assortments on the sides all perfectly packed. On the side also were some hiking boots and a web belt with two canteens attached. Will sat on the ground and changed into them. He stowed his shoes and attached the web belt. Once he had his gear settled, he looked at Anna, "Alright ready." As he turned, a thought came to mind, "Oh and for the record, I almost always have time to show this pretty land to a pretty lady." He smiled charmingly before heading off up the trail. "Both the offer and the compliment are much appreciated," Anna replied, a little dryly, but with a smile, as she fell into step behind Will, following his lead. "When was the last time you were actually home?" As he went around a bend, he sniffed the air, noting the possibility of a storm before replying, "I took about two weeks off just after I graduated before came to the Reaent so not too long ago." He chose a moderate path that climbed upwards. Part of the way down the trail, he stopped and pointed to a lakeside cabin a little ways away, "That's my home there." He smiled seeming to glow with warm memories, "Around this time my Mother would be making blueberry muffins while Dad would be out chopping wood for the fire place tonight." He turned that bright smile on her for a moment before proceeding further up the trail. A little time later and a few hundred feet up he waved a beautiful panoramic view of the lake to her. "I've seen quite a few beautiful sights in my short time amongst the stars..." He stated in a voice filled with wonder, "...but nothing has come close to this scenery for me yet." As she looked at the replica of Will's home and listened to him describe his memories, Anna thought back to the childhood camping trips spent with her parents and brothers. Things had been more relaxed away from the station, easier to be a family when all the family consisted of were its nuclear members. She hadn't written the letter to her father yet. Caroline Curtis' suggestion had been a good one but she hadn't budged on it. The truth was that she was her father's daughter in many ways and one great flaw they shared was stubbornness. Or maybe it was pride. "Oh, Will." Anna came to a stop at his side, the beauty of the vista spread out before her, defeating her ability to describe it properly. Heavily forested mountains swept down to the lake left behind when the glaciers that had covered Earth had moved on more than 11,000 years ago. From this vantage point, she saw no boats on the water and she was unable to pick out structures such as the one that Will and his family called home. To her eyes, it looked completely unspoiled, almost as if she and Will had the privilege of looking back through a window in time. And it wasn't just a program; according to Will it was a real place. The sheer pleasure she took in that knowledge, and the sight before them, was revealed in her expression as she turned her head to look at him. "Thank you, Will. I would have found my way here on my own but I wouldn't have had the context I do now." Will was pleased at seeing her so enthralled by the scene. Will sat on a nearby rock and enjoyed the vista as he did so many times before when he was growing up. "My father kept this program on a chip when he was deployed during the war. A little taste of home he called it." He gestured to a flat part of the ground, "Take a seat, and enjoy the view. It's a wonderful place to just sit and think, eat or just relax." His smile was a boyish grin of happiness full of memories of home. Will was clearly enjoying himself and his mood was infectious. It was fun seeing the program through his eyes but Anna bit back a laugh, before slipping free of the backpack and setting it down. The whole purpose of today's holodeck time was exercise, but here she was, sitting on the ground, leaning comfortably against a rock, her arms wrapped around her knees. She lifted her face into the breeze, and closed her eyes. Sometimes it was good to just sit and not do anything, although, she was not very good at not doing anything. "Your father fought in the Dominion War?" She asked Will, thinking that probably a lot of crew on Reaent had relatives that had served. Will nodded, "Starfleet Special Forces. He cut his teeth during the Cardassian/Federation War, fought during the Klingon/Federation War and then retired after the Dominion War. My old man has more medals then probably half of Starfleet put together." Will spoke with extreme reverence when it came to his father, "And yet, when he was home, he was with only his family." He looked at Anna, "My father and my uncles taught me everything I know but survival. How to hunt, fish, build shelter. I guess that's why I love the outdoors so much." He looked at Anna, "I've got some food in my pack and this is a great place to eat. You bring food?" "That's what a father should be. His family should come before everything else." His pride in his father was obvious, and she understood it. She felt the same for all she was very angry with her own and had been for the past seven years. "My father was always very careful to make sure he spent time with my brothers and I when we were growing up." Anna turned a speculative eye on Will and his pack as the conversation went from family to sustenance. "You replicated that pack, ergo, that pack has replicated food in it." She pulled hers onto her lap and patted it fondly. "I visited the mess before coming to the holodeck and I got lucky." She grinned at Will, her eyes twinkling. "Fortunately for you, my eyes are always bigger than my stomach." She looked around, as if making sure there was no one around and then leaned forward, her voice dropping into confidential tones. "They had fresh peanut butter today..." Will laughed, "Yes, well if I had the chance to properly prepare for this, I would probably have visited the mess hall." He stated in a rather pouty voice but when she mentioned that her eyes were bigger than her stomach and the fact that they had fresh peanut butter his eyes lit up like a little boy at Christmas, "So does that mean there's at least two sandwiches in there?" He asked in a hopeful tone with that charm filled smile again. "There are two," Anna assured him, silently laughing at his aggrieved tone. "And, since you did drop everything and have been nice enough to share your program with me, the least I can do is offer to share my lunch with you." She opened the pack, and with all the finesse of a magician doing his best reveal, she pulled a wrapped sandwich from inside of it and flourished it in his direction. "Not just fresh peanut butter, but also...real moba jam! Bajor's best. I even have it on good authority that the white bread is real and contains nothing of nutritional value." Will laughed as he accepted the sandwich with a grateful nod. "Thank you." He sat back on the rock as they ate and continued to make small talk and he told her about the area and some of its history. As he finished his sandwich, he froze for a moment and took a sniff of the air. He looked up at the gathering clouds and stood. "Uh, we need to go." Not a few seconds later, the first droplets of rain began to drip on them. Unperturbed, Anna tossed her sandwich wrapper into her pack, and then pulled the rain poncho, packed for just this moment, out. "I programmed the rain, Will. It's just going to be very, very light, and the wind's going to start picking up. It'll be a good hour of sound effects and pyrotechnics before it rains in earnest and by then...I'll be ready to go." She cocked her head at the far away sound of rolling thunder, and then looked at him with a smile of anticipation. "I love thunderstorms." Will pulled out a poncho as well and sat near her but keeping a respectful distance, "Uh-huh. Personally I like hearing rain beating on a rooftop but since you programmed this little addition, I think I can find it in my heart to stick around and enjoy it." He replied with a little teasing in his voice. He saw the flash of lighting and counted until the thunder hit. "Still a few miles out but still..." He voice had a slightly ominous and playful tone to it, "...you never know what variables I might have programmed into the weather." He winked at her and enjoyed the sprinkle. "I grew up where the weather was never any kind of factor, and so the wilder, the better," Anna said with a laugh, nonetheless shooting him a suspicious glance from under the rim of her hood. "You were just making a fuss like you might melt or something and now, all of a sudden, there might be variables?" She scooted back a little bit and to the side, so that overhanging trees blocked most of the very light rain, and Will acted as a convenient windbreak. "Is that kind of like there might be bears?" Will's smile took on an innocent look, "Bears? Nah! I wouldn't do that to you." The wind suddenly began to howl louder and the rain began to drop into a torrential downpour in a few minutes. He had to yell as he got up, "But sometimes, the weather gets a lot worse real quick. Come on!" He offers a hand to her, "We've got to get to better shelter than this! Follow me!" "This is not what I programmed!" Anna yelled, struggling to be heard over the wind and rain, as she grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet. She hauled her pack with, holding onto it by the straps as she followed Will. "Gentle rain and a gradually approaching thunderstorm! That's what I programmed!" She jumped as lightning struck nearby, an almost simultaneous explosion of thunder not able to mask the sound of a tree crashing down. It took a few drenching minutes before Will lead them to a small cave-like shelter. At first glance, the cave was bare but Will lit a glow stick from his pack and tossed into the cave and it was stocked with supplies and clothing. The available room made it roomy for one person and cozy for two. He took off his poncho and shook it out a bit, "By the way, I programmed the weather to change spontaneously at times. Kind of a survival test thing. He saw she wasn't too happy, "What was it you said about the weather? The wilder, the better?" The lightning lit up the inside of the cave and the thunder crashed outside. She dropped her pack just inside the cave opening and sent Will a reproving look as he threw her words back at her. "I was talking about real meteorological events and not some holographic trickery." She pulled her dripping poncho off, and taking his, dropped them both by the door. A flash of lightning so bright it left after images on her retinas, had her blinking as she turned to grin at him from the cave's opening. "My plan was to hike for an hour or so, find a good spot to eat my peanut butter sandwiches and watch a massive storm roll in over a period of time." Stepping back into the shelter of the cave, Anna took an elastic band out of the pocket of her sweatshirt and pulled her damp hair back and into a ponytail before sitting on a sturdy box full of...something. Looking up, she met Will's eyes in the half gloom provided by the light stick, the constantly flashing lightning doing more to disorient than illuminate. "Instead, I found myself trespassing at the Tomlinson family homestead, given the cook's tour by the owner himself, charmed out of a peanut butter sandwich and was almost electrocuted by stealth programming." Poking around in an open carton, Anna pulled two bottles of water and offered one to Will, with a disarming smile. "I sure haven't been bored." Will laughed as he took the bottle, "Well next time you're in this program just tell the computer to shut down the weather variables and you'll get exactly the weather you want." Will sat back against the cave wall, "Oh and if you go on the lake, shut down the lake variables. And if you go above the snow line turn off the avalanche protocols and..." As Will was listing of the variations in the programs he did his best to try and hide the grin that was threatening to bust out at the growing look of horror on her face but in the end he couldn't contain it and began laughing, "...I'm kidding. Those variables are in the restricted part of the program." He flashed her his most winning smile again as the lightning lit up the cavern again. "Next time I'm in this program? Anna's tone made it clear she thought he was crazy. "I've already proved I'm a thrill seeker by not transferring off this boat; I don't need to pit myself against your old neighborhood! The next time I want some exercise-" Whatever she was going to say next was drowned out by a sudden roaring sound so loud, it made the ground tremble and the cave walls shake. Choking back dust, Anna suddenly realized that the cave entrance was now blocked by a rockslide. She looked from the pile of rocks that had hurled its way almost to their feet and then sent Will a sideways look. "Yeah, I can feel your dad's love." Laughing at the latest 'variable', she stood up, calling out, "Exit." Walking to the doorway, now evident in the middle of the rockslide, Anna paused as the doors slid back, revealing the corridor beyond. She looked back at him, still completely amused by the latest curve ball dealt by 'Home Sweet Tomlinson'. "I'm guessing this is where you have to dig your way out with a spoon and a penknife. If someone told me I had to choose between an afternoon enjoying the bucolic splendor of Big Bear or spend it fighting for my life in a reenactment of "The Most Dangerous Game", I'd have to go with Game, just so I'd have a fighting chance. Nature's too diabolical as programmed by the Tomlinson male." Picking up her pack, she shot him a grin, "Thanks for the pretty scenery, Lieutenant. I'm kind of glad there weren't any bears...I'm sure they would have been very, very hungry." Will left the holodeck with her and smiled that boyish grin he seemed to always have when he was in that program, "Seriously though if you do want to visit my home again just tell the computer to go to static mode and it will shut off all the variables so that you'll only get exactly what you program. And you're welcome it was nice to visit my hometown. If you want next time you can meet the family." He winked before heading off to his quarters.

Jon sits at a table in the lounge, processing paperwork while occasionally glancing out the window while waiting for someone. He seems more relaxed since his recent operation at sickbay, which was a relief to him and others. Anna had left the Science department, feeling very keenly, the weight of her conversation with Dominick Pneuma. Her prejudice, some might say unreasoning prejudice, against his telepathic abilities was causing him some unhappiness. That had been clear and she felt awful about it. She wasn't sure what she could do about it; she wasn't even sure she wanted to do something about it, she thought miserably as she entered the lounge where she was meeting Jon. She saw him sitting at one of the tables near the bank of viewports, and quickly made her way over. "Jon," she said his name by way of greeting, as she seated herself opposite him, an easy smile brightening her expression. He smiles as Anna sits. “Anna, a pleasure as always. How are you holding up?” His question seemed obvious, that he was aware of what occurred on the bridge between Anna and Dom. He keeps his tone at a gentle volume while skimming through the reports. Her smile fading a bit, Anna kept her eyes on Jon as he turned his attention back to the padd in his hands. His reference was obvious; he'd witnessed her discomfort on the bridge as Dominick revealed he'd read her thoughts at their initial meeting and she'd discovered her newest science officer was Betazoid. Anna was hoping no one else had noticed. Jon picked things up; he was very observant. "I'm ok," she answered him without much sincerity. "I spoke with him--with Dominick, I mean. He came to my office just a little bit ago. I'm afraid I've caused him some real distress." Nodding slightly, “I hope you two were able to patch things up. Dom’s a good officer and I’m sure he’ll do well in your department. Are you still hungry?” He sets his padd face down on the table to take his attention away from his work. "Ah...well, we had a conversation but I would have to say that I don't think he was satisfied with the outcome. If I were him, I wouldn't have been either." She really wasn't hungry but she hadn't eaten in a while and she needed to, and so she smiled at him, finally feeling relaxed for the first time since Lt. Pneuma had arrived on the bridge. "When have you not seen me ready to eat? And I don't just mean chocolate, either." “Point taken” he chuckles briefly. “I’m going for a chef salad, what would you like?” He stands up to stretch out his legs before getting the order. She got to her feet, coming around the table to meet him. "I think I'll have a pickled beet salad." She eyed Jon for a moment and then took a step back, looking him up and down, a slight frown creasing her forehead. "You've lost weight..." He shrugs his shoulders “I feel fine to be honest. Since the operation, I feel as though a lead suit was removed from me. Granted I was a little surprised when I had to get a smaller uniform.” Jon walks with Anna to the replicator. Anna fell into step next to him, shooting him a sideways glance. He seemed fine and Debbie would never have released him if he weren't. "You lost this weight since the operation? Since the probes were removed?" It seems that way,” he said in a nonchalant fashion. “Perhaps there might be a connection between my weight loss and the removal of the nanoprobes. It kind of makes sense when you think about it.” He enters the orders into the replicator and hands Anna her meal and gets his shortly after. “What would you like to drink?” Taking her plate with murmured thanks, her mind latched onto his comment, and immediately began turning it over. Debbie hadn't been able to tell what the probes were for. She'd given Anna one to examine and so far she hadn't had a chance, but now with the sensor buoys in place... Jon gently pokes Anna’s shoulder, “Sorry to derail your train of thought, but would you like something to drink?” "Hmmm...what?" Anna redirected her attention and grinned at him. "It's your fault, you know, and yes, thank you. Black tea, very hot, lemon only." Laughing behind his smile, he gets Anna’s drink and hands it to her. He gets his drink, a glass of what appears to be grape soda. “Let’s get back to our table so we can unwind properly.” "I like a man with a plan, Mr. Shamor," she teased, as they turned away from the replicators and started back towards their table. She glanced down at her salad and though it looked fine, she knew it wouldn't have that certain spicy quality that tasted like home. She sighed, and added a little mournfully, "Debbie's right--the replicators never quite get it." “They never do, that’s why some crew members often have bootleg spices with them.” He sits back down in his seat. “I usually plan out lots of things but it never hurts to have a backup plan in case things go wrong.” "Bootleg spices? I am now picturing an underbelly of the Reaent I was unaware of." Anna raised an eyebrow as she took a forkful of salad, and chewed slowly, not surprised that there was no zing to the crinkle cut beets. She forked up another bite but paused, fork in mid air, glistening beets trembling on the tines, and looked at Jon solemnly, "My people are picklers, Jon. They take it very seriously. I may have to send for a care package." Taking a bite from his salad before responding, “It’s not uncommon for some crew to bring aboard some things from home. I got my weapons and armor from the Order in my quarters, not to mention some Zemun spices for when I get the urge to cook. As long as it’s not explosive, corrosive, or infectious then I don’t see a problem.” He takes a sip from his soda after the explanation. "Nothing explosive, corrosive or infectious? Kind of takes the fun out of it, don't you think?" Anna asked cheerfully before taking a cautious sip of her tea. One thing the replicator could do was temperature; producing things that were very hot or very cold on demand. "I still haven't seen the armor, have I? I've been meaning to have you show me, too." Anna set her teacup down, and not being one to hold a grudge, took another bite of the maligned salad, swallowing before saying, "The Cestus system has so far been delightfully peaceful, and the sensor buoys haven't been disturbed." “I’m keeping my guard up, expect the unexpected. As for my armor, I suppose I could show you later. Plus I got to run a systems check to make sure everything works properly. The one thing that has me wondering is why the Gorn haven’t made any moves even after voicing their opinions to the Klingons.” "We're not the Klingons, but you're right--it's probably six of one and half a dozen of the other with them." Anna shrugged, "We haven't crossed the line into their territory but the buoys are very close. Maybe they are just keeping a wait and see attitude for now. Either way, the fighters have been out doing a lot of practice runs, and you know that hasn't gone unnoticed. I hope they don't see that as saber rattling." Nodding, “All it’s going to take is one buoy to drift into their space for them to react. I’m going to suggest to the captain that we move them back as a precautionary measure. Is there anything else that we are supposed to check on aside from dropping off the buoys?” "We're constantly monitoring the data being relayed back. The whole idea is to gather enough information to suggest a safe, feasible way to expand trade routes in the area so the buoys are in it for the long haul. They'll need to be monitored for a certain length of time to get a complete enough picture to enable a recommendation be made." Anna picked a piece of walnut out of her salad, and ate it, her eyes on Jon, and her expression thoughtful. She was aware that Jon put the safety of the crew over every other concern. "We're here to test the Gorn reaction. Maybe those buoys need to stay exactly where they are." “I hope so. Wasn’t there also a station in the area as well? Perhaps they can give us some info when we’re done with the buoys. For once I would like to do a mission to where we don’t get shot at.” He laughed a little as he said that but he was hoping for a peaceful end to the mission. Anna laughed with him, the Reaent's past history always a source of black humor, but this time, so far, things did seem to be going well. Though it was early days yet. "Captain McQueen did mention a station, but Jon, he made it sound more like some kind of derelict, very Dezorow." “Dezorow? Is that a name of a colony or something?” He reaches for his padd and resumes skimming briefly, while keeping most of his attention on Anna. "No, I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't think--it's a reference to Kilo, my home station. Desolation Row is what the extreme lower decks, the slums, used to be called. Not by station management, of course," Anna added dryly. "Over time, the name was shortened to Dezorow." “I guess I learned something new,” he grins at her. Glancing at his watch, “I’d better get going. I've got quite a bit of paperwork to take care of. I’m surprised I haven’t seen Kat on active duty. Hope she’s alright.” "Commander Swan still isn't back on duty?" Anna took a final swallow of tea and stood up, wondering what was happening with the security chief. "I hope she'll be back soon." “I knew she went through quite a bit just as you and the others. Guess the stress got to her. That’s why I’ve been taking care of her paperwork so she doesn’t have to worry. The less work she has to worry about the better.” "You're a sweetheart, Jon, you know that?" Anna smiled at him and then gathered up their dishes, piling them together to take to the recycler. Kat Swan hadn't had too much to say at the survivor's meeting that Anna had attended with her and so she wasn't sure what had happened to the other woman. She was sorry to hear that perhaps she'd been suffering from lingering issues from that. Not that it would be surprising if she was—she'd thought her husband killed. She hoped silently that Kat was doing better and said aloud to Jon, "I'm glad we were able to get together tonight. It was a tough day." He blushes enough to where it’s visible on his green skin, “Thanks for the compliment but I think you give me too much credit. I simply do what needs to be done. If you need me for anything else feel free to contact me.” "I give you just enough credit," Anna replied agreeably, but her eyes were laughing as she picked up the stack of dishes and before turning for the recycler, added, "I think you do a whole lot more, and you make it sound like I should call you if I have trouble with the plumbing." Shaking his head laughing, “I’m a friend not a plumber. Sometimes the human language confuses me; then again I could just be confused when it comes to friends.” "And you're an excellent friend," Anna replied gently, still smiling but no longer teasing him. "I'm going to get rid of these," she raised her arms slightly, indicating the dishes, and then I'm going to go to the lab and take a look at that nano probe. I'll see you tomorrow." "I’ll most likely be in the security office taking care of the paperwork, and then I’ll probably hit up the shooting range later on. See you later and hope your research turns up anything useful.” "I hope so, too"

He walks to his new chief's door and chimes. Already he begins to shiver at the last time he spoke with Anna and now here he goes again. Looking up at the sound of the chime, Anna saw Pneuma immediately, standing just outside the open door and inwardly sighed, while outwardly, she forced a smile, calling, "Hello, Lieutenant. Please come in." Pneuma steps into the office already sensing the discomfort through the false smile. He smiles himself though his is not really forced. "Hello Lieutenant. Happy to see you again. I hope I am not interrupting." "No, of course not," Anna replied immediately, as she rose to her feet. "I've been looking forward to having the chance to talk to you now that we're not on the bridge. Won't you please sit down?" His eyes lock into hers. Taking a seat, Pneuma didn't break eye contact. He seemed to be searching. Trying to grasp something but it eluded him. Still his jet black eyes remain locked. "So how are things?" Sinking back into her seat, Anna blinked, feeling oddly enough like a butterfly with a pin through its thorax as Dominick Pneuma's eyes fixed themselves on hers. Looking away for a moment, she tapped her work screen for no reason other than to give herself somewhere else to look. "Things are good, Lieutenant," she said before glancing back to him, doing her best not to be unnerved by his stare. "All the better for having you transfer to the department. I've had a chance to look at your service jacket and we're lucky to have you." Dom's eyes remained fixated on Anna's despite her turning away. He began to feel how he was affecting her and finally looked down at his padd, which he had brought with him. He was not here to hurt her but for something else entirely. "Thank you. Please, call me Dom. After all we are the same rank. Besides, I always found the word Lieutenant to be a mouthful." He smirked a moment hoping to have broken the ice. She knew it would be churlish to refuse, and in truth she was not one to stand on ceremony. Leaving the formality of the rank title between them was not going to do a single thing to mitigate her discomfort, and this time her smile was warmer as she replied, "Dom it is then. And of course, please call me Anna. Annabelle is as much a mouthful as Lieutenant." "Thank you Anna. I have a pretty good feeling that there is something we need to discuss. I can sense the discomfort coming off you and you can probably see that I am not comfortable myself. So I will shoot from the hip and ask, Why don't you like telepaths?" His words fell like a hammer on an anvil. He knew one thing. What he sensed. To him that was enough. It had served him in the past year. From working with his house on Betazed to acting as mediator on the colony. Dom's eyes moved back to Anna's. This time they would not be swayed. Biting back the immediate response that sprang to her lips was difficult. She instinctively wanted to tell him to get the hell out of her head and stay out. She felt completely exposed and her discomfort level shot up accordingly. This time his stare had no power over her and she met its black impassiveness with a heated one of her own though her tone belied it as she mildly replied, "I don't know you well enough yet to say for certain how you feel about anything, Dom. Unfortunately, from my point of view, you are able to feel that I am not overly comfortable in the presence of a telepath. I hope you can also tell that it's not because of any personal bias--how could it be? We've only just met. I can't be the first person you've met who feels this way." Dom frowned. His eyes remained steadfast though as they studied Anna's burning anger which she tried to hide so deeply. "Actually, I have met a few people who were uncomfortable with telepaths. I was too young and naive to understand why. I do know this though. Its something I can't shut off. It's not like a switch, I am telepathic or empathic one moment then the next not. Think of it like this. Imagine if we were captured by hostile aliens and they put out your eyes. That is how it would be for me to lose my abilities. They are a part of me as the fiery personality in you is part of you. I am not here to make you uncomfortable. If you want to know how I feel about anything simply ask. I am always willing to discuss things." Anna gave a short bark of laughter that was not without some amusement. "I didn't ask how you felt but you sure didn't waste any time asking me why I feel as I do." She leaned forward, watching him intently, not wanting his psi abilities to be an issue between them. "I understand that this is my problem. I don't wish for you to lose your abilities nor do I need to imagine having my eyes ripped from my head by hostile aliens to understand that your 'sixth' sense is as important to you as the other five, maybe even more so." Anna slumped a bit, finally looking as uncomfortable as he could tell she felt. "You do make me uncomfortable and intellectually, I don't resent you for that or fear you. Emotionally is something else again and that's not something that I can shut off. It's not a switch," she said, turning his words back on him. "You're going to have to take me the way I am, the same way I accept you the way you are." A smile streaked across his face, as he looked so deep into her eyes. "Heavens forbid either of us lose any of our senses. I understand there is emotional tension. I would like to hopefully work through that rather then sweep it under the rug. I mean imagine walking into a room and every time you are around someone you feel as though you need to put your shields up. It is not good for either person. So can you tell me about why you are so nervous around me? Or are you going to make me do it the hard way." Dom chuckles. He wouldn't intentionally read someone like that without permission. It's just not polite to do. He only knew a few people on Betazed that would do that. One was an ambassador and she had a few quirks that she needed to work on. Still a good poker bluff could go a long way. Anna stared back at him from beneath lowered lids, and if her glare before had been heated, now it was pure arctic ice though her voice was very soft as she asked, "Did you actually just threaten me, Dominick?" Perhaps he thought he was being amusing. He'd laughed as he said it. Maybe she was unable to keep a good sense of perspective but there was no way in hell she was going to let him reduce her extreme discomfort to the level of a joke. Bad enough that she was afflicted with a prejudice that were it common knowledge, would follow her throughout her career. She was a scientist; she was supposed to have an open mind. Well, she did--she just didn't want her mind to be an open book. To anyone. Dom shook is head. He could see it would take a little more to get through. Still it hurt to know that there was so much anger directed at him. "No. It wasn't a threat. Believe it or not, I seldom intentionally read people like that. The only reason it happened on the bridge is due to having done it every waking minute for the past year." His tone began to show a bit of anger. A hint of it. No more than that. "I had to help quell an overthrow on Betazed. One, if had I not been there, my people might have withdrawn from the Federation. Oh did I mention they rarely speak there? Then I was redirected by the Federation to that backwater colony Cestus III. A place where for months I have been trying to mediate between several different groups who wanted to run the colony." Dom's face had started to redden. He didn't know why he was getting so frustrated. He just knew that he had to solve the problem. He sighed. Somewhere he had gotten out of his seat and begun walking around so he sat back down. "I was joking with you. Sometimes taking a moment to laugh can change a tense situation into a peaceful one." "And sometimes digging too deep too quickly can also be detrimental," Anna responded, no longer angry, believing that he'd just been making a joke to ease the tension. "And when I said this was my problem, I meant that. My discomfort is just that--discomfort. I am not angry that we'll be working together, but I would ask that you do me the social courtesy of not commenting on my feelings." Anna looked at him, feeling almost helpless, and hating that. "You have certain abilities that have served you, your people and the Federation well in the past. I am not a 'problem' that you need to solve. We're going to do good work together but I need your help and understanding. Can you see that, Dom?" Dom sighed. His mind was reeling from all of this. "I understand and I can see that. There is something that you should know though. There is no way I can shut out your emotions or anyone else's on this ship. We are in too close of quarters. After I left the bridge earlier, you were feeling relieved I was gone. I was in the turbolift and felt that. I will give you the courtesy of not discussing things you are feeling socially. I know the thought of being so open bothers you and I respect that. Again, I won't discuss things socially. I have one thing I do ask in return. Lighten up. I can't focus on my work if every time I am around you, you get nervous. It's not my fault my parents were Betazoid. If you get bothered every time I am around, you are going to have trouble focusing on your work." He smiled at Anna. He decided that it couldn't hurt to ask so he went ahead and did. "Now that we got that out of the way and our shifts are about over, might I escort you to 10-forward for a drink?" "You are mistaking discomfort for nervousness, Dom. I am well aware that you can feel what I am feeling. I am merely asking that you not ask me why I am feeling it," Anna said dryly. "It'll be a little game we play, and my hope is that with time, and your patience, I will be able to get past this. I don't enjoy feeling this way," she said with a faint smile, "and I apologize for you having to deal with this aspect of having me as your chief." She leaned back in her seat and for the first time, a genuine smile broke out, spreading into a grin. "And as far as you not being able to focus on your work because I am feeling a little uncomfortable? I don't think so. A man who has quelled a coup and been instrumental in keeping Betazed as a member of the Federation should have no trouble in shrugging off one woman's groundless fears." She stood up, the smile still on her face. "I'm afraid I have to take a rain check on the drink because I am meeting someone for dinner. Another time?" "Sounds like a plan. Oh and just because I have done a few big things doesn't mean I never get uncomfortable. To get uncomfortable or upset or even nervous is a mark of life and its something I had to learn the hard way. Anyhoo, I will leave you to your dinner meeting. Have fun." Dom stood and made his exit. His head dropped and his pace slowed as soon as the door closed behind him and he made his way to 10-forward. If there was ever a time he needed a drink it was now.

This log takes place before last week's sim and after the log called 'Pulling a Doubleshift'. Caroline sat at a table in the corner of the mess hall with a mug of coffee and a bowl of potato soup, once again perusing a short stack of PADDs, though this time they were not the personnel files with which she had been wont to be found often over the days since she had been temporarily assigned to the Reaent. These PADDs contained data from the library computer on post-traumatic stress disorder treatments, and she was looking them over with a somewhat distracted expression. She was concerned about Kat Swan. The Chief of Security was currently still resting in sickbay and Caroline wasn't yet sure whether to be optimistic about her progress. The drug treatment, combined with a healthy dose of sleep, seemed to have done a great deal to stem the tide of the raging paranoia that had incapacitated Swan earlier, but recovery was far from over. There was a lot to think about in terms of what the next step should be -- and a lot of potential second-guessing to do about how she had handled this chaotic case up to this point, which she would have to avoid. Hence the PADDs to keep her mind focused, though she was starting to find her attention wandering. It was getting late. Having turned the lab and relay sensor babysitting over to Lt. Sitak, the Gamma shift supervisor, Anna left, following pretty closely on Tobias' heels. She'd felt really tired before, to the point that her eyelids hadn't wanted to stay up, but now, unfortunately, it felt like she had her second wind. She really would have liked to visit Sickbay to see how Jon was doing, but it was too late. No doubt he was asleep, and she didn't want to bother him. Maybe a cup of hot chocolate would help her get to sleep and she could visit him in the morning before she went back on duty. Anna entered the mess hall, and headed straight for the replicator. She ordered the mug of hot chocolate and bypassed marshmallows in favor of whipped cream. Actually, extra, extra, whip cream. Her mug was just a bit precarious as she lifted it up, and she was careful how she held it as she turned and glanced around the room. She spotted Caroline almost immediately and in spite of the stack of pads at the woman's elbow, Anna felt no compunction about going over to chat her up. "Caroline, how wonderful that you're here right now!" Anna exclaimed, although she pitched her voice low enough not to bother any of the other occupants scattered around the different tables. She pulled out a seat with one hand and sat down, taking a very careful sip of the hot drink, before looking up to meet Caroline's gaze. "You're up late tonight?" Caroline looked up as someone called her name in a low voice and smiled as she saw the Reaent's young chief of science maneuvering a mug piled high with cream across the mess. "Hello, Anna," she said, pushing aside a PADD or two to make room for the other woman to set her mug down safely. "Yes...just getting some research done." She looked down at the article which she had been reading and then tapped it off, letting it fall to the table next to her soup bowl. At this point she wasn't really absorbing any more of the information; it only remained to see how much of it would in fact be applicable to Kat's condition. She shook herself slightly and looked up, meeting Anna's eyes and engaging herself in the conversation at hand. "I could say the same of you, you know." "Oh, we had a project that kept us late in the lab, and unfortunately, I'm now feeling wide awake. I was ready to fall asleep earlier. I'm hoping this will help." Anna lifted her mug and carefully sipped so as not to upend the whip cream, her goal being for the whip cream to melt before she ran out of chocolate. Anna looked from the padd to Caroline's face; the other woman looked more than ready for bed. "Research, hmm? The crew is making you work overtime, I see." "This crew is behaving as is absolutely natural," Caroline replied, raising her eyebrows and smiling. "But I'm sure you can appreciate that it's always a comfort to know you are well-prepared when things have the potential to be...complex." She eyed Anna's methodical approach to her drink with some amusement as she sipped at her own coffee. "What sort of project has you working so far off your shift?" she asked curiously, changing the subject; much as she might have liked to talk about her own work stressors, it wouldn't have said much for her respect for the tacit contract of doctor-patient confidentiality. "You mentioned you were heading to the bridge to drop probes?" Nodding agreeably, Anna murmured, "I can think of nothing more comforting. Unfortunately, Reaent has yet to encounter anything I was able to foresee." She grinned at Caroline, her eyes glinting with laughter, "I must be really shortsighted. A little second sight is supposed to run in the women of my family but I think it skipped a generation in my case." Shrugging, she smiled, adding, "The relay sensors were dropped earlier today--Tobias Jaren and I worked late on the telemetry and diagnostics." Caroline laughed at Anna's comment, setting her mug down on the table and lacing her hands back behind her head as she leaned back in her chair. "Well, at least you can look at it as not being deprived of a sense of spontaneity and surprise," she said dryly. "And from what I understand this mission is supposed to be relatively quiet -- though I suppose you'd know more about that than I would; I don't exactly have the ear of the powers-that-be." She nodded as Anna described the mechanics of the science officers' work. "Anything exciting to be found?" "Relatively quiet, eh? If relative to the last one, then that just means that no one will die and then come back," Anna teased, as she took another sip from her mug. The whip cream settled a half inch lower and was no longer in danger of sliding onto the table as she set her own mug down. "So far, all we're doing is communicating back and forth through the relays and running diagnostics to make sure the sensors are working and able to report back." Caroline rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean -- though you're right; I suppose the bar is set pretty low at this particular point in the game. And that sounds...well, it sounds complex to me, but then again, I'm a doctor, not a comm officer." Her eyes narrowed at the corners with amusement. It was clear from Anna's tone that this was not exactly considered the height of excitement in scientific circles. "It's pretty basic stuff actually but also pretty important. We need the information from the sensor relays to get a good picture of activity in the area. Trade routes are going to be expanded based on our report and lives will hang in the balance." Anna grinned at Caroline, adding, "Not to mention economic stability and prosperity." "Well, I can't ask for more important work than that," Caroline replied, returning the grin. She really liked this young woman's sense of humor and determinedly relaxed air; she had no doubt it had been instrumental in helping her through the chaos and trauma of the time-shifting event and would probably serve her well for a long time in her chosen career path. "You and Mr. Tobias seemed to be engaged in a spirited conversation when I arrived...settling into your role in the department alright, I take it?" "Important work, indeed, Dr. Curtis," Anna said solemnly, although her amusement clearly showed through. "I grew up in a community that prizes economic independence and stability just below loyalty, though occasionally, I actually think it's sometimes a toss up." Picking up her mug, she carefully spun the contents so that the almost melted whip cream mixed in with her remaining warm chocolate. Satisfied that things were progressing nicely in the mug, she looked back to Caroline, her expression thoughtful. "I can't recall what we were talking about when you happened by but as for settling into my role, I don't know, Caroline; I'm taking it day by day. It's not what I expected to have happen." Caroline nodded with an understanding smile. "Well, it's the sort of thing where day by day is the best way to take it...getting comfortable one step at a time. However, I have to say you have struck me as a very capable person -- as a matter of fact, you have handled some of the craziness of the past few weeks with an equanimity some of your older colleagues would envy. I'm very certain you'll manage to find your comfort zone and do very well for yourself." "And now it's me wishing that you've the gift of prophecy," Anna replied with a smile. Taking a sip from her mug, she savored the prefect melding of melted whip cream and cooled chocolate, while thinking about Caroline's obvious reference to the anomaly and subsequent crew reaction. "For my own part, while the experience was terrifying and emotionally devastating, while it was happening, I still think back on that perfect moment of clarity when I realized that the people we thought dead with the loss of the ship or murdered by the Romulans, were in fact still alive and I can't help but again feel sheer, unadulterated joy. I've never felt that before and for obvious reasons, I would rather never do so again, but such profound relief and happiness mitigates a few bad dreams." Meeting Caroline's gaze, she smiled a little ruefully, adding, "I know my viewpoint isn't the one commonly held by the 'survivors', but my field of study is quantum biology and I view the experience in those terms. If that event is examined using quantum theory to study the structure, energy transfer and chemical reactions of the biologic molecules involved, i.e., a sort of microcellular time stamp and decay rate, then I think a case can be made that-" Anna broke off, a slow grin spreading across her face. "I ambushed you there, didn't I? I'm sorry, Caroline." Caroline had actually been listening to this, and absorbing what aspects she could, with great interest; when Anna stopped and abruptly apologized, the counselor shook her head with an expression of amusement. "No need to be sorry; it sounds like a very complex viewpoint and I would be glad to hear all about it, though I guarantee you that I would perhaps only understand every third word of the more scientific aspects. What is important, though, is that you found a way to deal with the events that is, in your own mind, a sound one -- and it seems you have done that and I for one am very impressed." "I like to think it's sound in and of itself," Anna chuckled, "not just in my own mind. However, it's late and I will spare you a lecture on chronobiology." Looking regretfully into her now empty mug, she set it aside and looked back to Caroline, suddenly curious as to how the counselor was finding life on the Reaent. Caroline was an excellent listener, certainly a necessary part of her job, however, it made it very easy to hijack the conversation. "How are you settling in?" Anna asked, thinking that Caroline had been thrown right into the fray when she'd first come aboard. "Some other time, then," Caroline said agreeably, finishing off her own coffee and setting the mug down. Anna's next conversational leap turned the conversation back to her, and Caroline chuckled. "I've been finding my stay on the Reaent very comfortable indeed; it's the first posting I've had in a long time that was shipboard but I've felt very welcome. Unfortunately, with the temporary nature of this assignment, I can only really 'settle in' so far...but I've enjoyed it very much here, certainly." "That's right...you were sent on an emergency basis at Debbie's request." Anna watched Caroline's expression, and detected no obvious regret at the thought of future reassignment, but her professment of enjoyment seemed very sincere. "I know I've enjoyed having you here, Caroline, and I'll miss you once you've gone." She suddenly felt tired, the day catching up to her with a rush, and she realized, that she would miss Caroline--very much. She considered her to be a friend. She smiled a little teasingly, adding, "I guess you're one of those who prefers station life, eh?" "Well, I've always requested it...it's nice to have a certain stable framework in which to work," Caroline said with a shrug. She could see some disappointment in Anna's eyes and it gratified her that she had made such an impression, though she was looking forward to going "home," so to speak, once Fleet Medical decided her work here was finished. "I'll miss you too," she answered the younger woman, returning her smile -- and she meant it. "I intend to keep in touch, assuming you don't mind the occasional letter." "Of course I don't mind," Anna declared. "If you hadn't mentioned it, I would have." A yawn taking her unawares, had her raising her hand to only just manage to cover it. "Excuse me. Looks like the hot chocolate has served its purpose." Suddenly feeling very sleepy, Anna got to her feet, and stretched luxuriously. "If I stay here much longer, I'll end up staying the rest of the night. I'm saying good night, Caroline." "Good night, Anna," Caroline replied, settling back in her chair and glancing at the pile of PADDs again as the young lieutenant moved away. There was still some work she probably needed to do, but Anna's exhaustion was a little contagious. "Alright, enough for one day," she murmured, scooping the neat pile off the table and pushing herself to her feet. "We'll finish this tomorrow."

Leaning forward in her seat, Anna tapped in a sequence of commands that would start diagnostic tests running on the sensor relays dropped earlier in the day. She and Tobias Jaren were in the lab, eager to make sure there would be no glitches in getting data back. "Tobias, starting first series of tests, now." Anna tapped her screen and then picked up the bowl of spicy noodles that constituted dinner, as well as a pair of chopsticks. Tobias nodded as he chewed down a forkful of his own salad. It was a Trill recipe, which made it hard to identify most of the ingredients. He leaned back into the chair as the simulation ran. The Reaent wouldn't be able to receive telemetry from the buoys until the entire system was up, but in the mean time the science department would be continuously pinging the individual buoys to make sure they could communicate with each other and the ship properly. She was tired; it had been a long day so far but also a productive one. She needed to stay awake, stay focused, and looking at the screen was starting to have a hypnotic effect on her. She glanced over to Tobias; his eyes were fixed on his screen. They both needed a distraction-the diagnostics were going to take a little bit to run the test simulations. "So, you're the fourteenth Host. What were the other thirteen like? Do you mind me asking?" "No, I don't. Some parts are private but otherwise I don't mind. Although my life story as your kind calls it would be a little bit too long for one evening." He finished typing and turned to her with a small grin. Anna grinned back, her tone teasing, "My kind, huh?" She shook her head. "Perhaps I could have asked that differently. How about if I say, 'Who was the first Host?' You can be like Scheherazade, Tobias. One Host at a time." "Oh boy." He chuckled. "It's easier the other way around. Memories of recent hosts are more vivid. Lets see...My first host was Talia. She served on the symbiosis commission as a liaison to the one of the national governments...I forget it's name. Back then the commission was more...autonomous from planetary government." "Did she have a family?" Anna was curious about how current Hosts felt about past Hosts surviving family members, although Talia being the first would have been so long ago that any descendents would most likely have no resonance for Tobias. "Hmm...No actually. She was wholly committed to her work for the commission." He crossed his arms and glanced downward, trying to recall the life so long ago. There wasn't much he could draw upon. "She was? Very dedicated, to be sure," Anna murmured, thinking it sounded very lonely. Perhaps having a symbiont made you feel less alone, but for Talia, being the first meant she had no past memories to draw on. "You seem like you might have a little something in common with Talia," Anna told him with a smile. "I want you to know how much I appreciate the work you've been doing." "It's no problem. It's been a long time since I got to do any sort of real scientific work. Besides, how would it look if I didn't want to pull extra hours on my first mission?" He gave her a coy smirk, before looking over his screen for a moment and tapping a few commands. "You would look like a slacker, I'm afraid," Anna answered with a chuckle, not meaning it. "Besides, I know you're as anxious as I am to make sure the relays work properly." She glanced down as the computer chirped that the first simulations run had been a success. "And, we are in business!" "Good, the rest of the buoys should follow suit. Though we'll have to test them all. I've automated the test, so we can get out of here and leave some crewman to watch the screen." He finished tapping, and spun the chair around to her with a grin. "We're just inches from a clean getaway, is that it?" Laughing, she turned and logged off the station and then stood up, grabbing the half empty bowl of cold noodles with the chopsticks poking out at weird angles. "Ok, it's official...we're free. I'm turning you loose on an unsuspecting Reaent, Mr. Jaren." "Oh, unsuspecting they are." He chuckled and disposed of the salad. "Well, I suppose I'll see you at the start of shift." "The start of shift? Hmm...that'll be a first." She winked at him and tossed the remains of her dinner after his. He hadn't made it on time for shift change since he'd boarded the ship. "You have a good night, Tobias." "You too, Lieutenant." He gave her a quick smile and exited the lab.

Jon's meditating on a biobed in Sickbay. After leaving the staff meeting, Anna asked the computer where Jon was and wasn't surprised to hear he was in Sickbay. She'd assumed it was something like that, or he would have been at the meeting since Commander Swan hadn't yet been returned to active duty status. Fully expecting to hear that he was in to get the heart monitor checked, Anna entered Sickbay and approached his biobed with a smile on her face. "You keep this up and Debbie's going to start charging you rent, Mr. Shamor." “I take it you’re wondering why I’m here?” Jon opens his eyes to face Anna. With a smirk on his face, “How bad did Murray mess up at the meeting? Knowing him he probably stuffed his face with cake.” "Hmmm...you've already heard about the cakes...yes, I said cakes as in multiple--three to be exact," Anna replied with a grin. "Wim did enjoy the cake...very enthusiastically, although, actually we all did. Captain McQueen keeps this up and the Reaent crew is going to get a lot bigger." Anna looked from Jon's face to the bioreadouts, which didn't seem to be doing anything and then back to meet his eyes once again. "I assumed you were in here because of the heart monitor." He shakes his head “My bad heart took a turn for the worse so I was admitted.” Keeping his breathing at a slow stable pace, “Merina scanned me and found something troubling. Apparently, my body is loaded with nano-probes that seem to be altering my physical structure. The doctors believe that they can be safely removed, so that’s why I’m waiting for Deb to get back.” "Nano probes?" Anna asked cautiously. "What do they do...how did they get there?" “To answer your first question, from what myself and Doctor Merina have gathered the probes increase body mass and weight. As for the second question, I have no clue: I don’t remember getting them much less how I came to have them in the first place.” The expression on his face shows that he is confused and worried at the same time. Seeing the expression on his face, Anna finally realized that this wasn't a minor adjustment to his heart monitor. "I'm so sorry, Jon. It must be terrifying to have these...things inside you. You said they can be removed? Safely removed?" Nodding in response to her question, “Which is why I’m waiting for Deb to get back; she’s pretty much the only doctor that has experience with Zemun physiology. Let’s change the subject; how did the meeting go?” Anna didn't want to change the subject, but in the face of Jon's request, had very little choice. She tightened her jaw, unable to control the frown darkening her expression, but instead of voicing her concern, told him about the meeting. "It was not very long--just covered the points that we are very near the Gorn, they aren't friendly and we'll be keeping a wary eye as we drop some sensor arrays in the area." “The Gorn-that would explain the destination. I thought we had a ‘live and let live’ policy with them. From what I know, the Gorn are territorial and could be a potential threat if agitated, even if the cause is peaceful. How close are the sensors going to be to their borders?” "I'm sure they're going to be pretty close since we are monitoring for potential threats to proposed expanded trade routes. The Gorn have made it clear that they aren't interested in being a part of any new trade possibilities." Anna shrugged, still not understanding why the Gorn would be like that. Having been raised within a society entirely based on economics, it boggled her mind that an entire species would prefer to opt out. “They are obviously a self-sufficient species, probably stubborn too. At least they’re not the kind who shoot first and ask questions later if they voiced their opinion in the first place. Perhaps a dialog could be opened with them if they are willing. I do have some reservations about the placement of the sensors; it’s risking a potential conflict. I hope the Captain knows this.” "Captain McQueen seemed extremely knowledgeable regarding the Gorn Hegemony. He doesn't seem reckless, although all I really know about him so far is that he has a penchant for serving pastry at meetings." Anna smiled at Jon, adding, "And that's not a bad thing." Raising a brow at her comment, “It seems odd, call me paranoid, but I think he’s trying to win over the crew by appealing to the department chiefs. I judge an officer by their actions not by what they serve their subordinates. Captain McQueen will have to prove to me that he’s capable through his actions. I will follow his orders but if he endangers this ship or crew he will hear from me.” "I believe I have called you paranoid before, Jon," Anna replied affectionately, "but I don't believe that a recently posted CO that serves cake is trying to do any more than make his staff feel comfortable and break the ice. He may be a man who subscribes to the philosophy that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar or he may just realize that people who are eating are more relaxed and have their guard down. I think he's just trying to get to know us." “Honestly, I would prefer relaxed Q&A sessions but that’s just me. Once I’m back in action, I’ll make sure we get through this without a problem. I was told that the procedure shouldn’t take long which would also mean a fast recovery.” He seems a little more relaxed after mentioning that. Anna laid her fingers over the arm lying by his side. "Take it easy, Jon. It doesn't all rest on your shoulders. Please just concentrate on getting past this." She smiled, feeling rather relieved herself. "I have complete faith in Debbie--you'll be ok." “But it is my job to ensure the safety of ship and crew. I will survive as I always do, though I’m aware you are concerned for my well-being. Although I would never doubt Deb’s skills for she has saved my life plenty of times.” "Of course, I'm concerned," Anna replied quietly. "I will be concerned until I hear that you're fine." Jon holds Anna’s hand gently. “I’ll let you know that I’m ok in person after the procedure. I promise.” "You'd better." Anna smiled, but she knew and she knew he knew, that she wasn't kidding.

The meeting over, Anna sat for a moment, aware that people were getting to their feet and filing out. This was the first support group she'd attended and it had surprised her how many had stated that they didn't feel they could accept this current time they were in as the 'real' one. The awful alternate that had ended in so many deaths, Anna had the feeling that some of her fellow survivors were almost afraid to believe that the unthinkable which they lived through, had in fact been negated. Looking across the table, Anna caught Deb's glance and smiled. Debbie Matthews had been instrumental in bringing Dr. Caroline Curtis aboard and Anna had benefited from talking with the psychiatrist. Kat looked around satisfied that she isn't the only one feeling the way she is. After all of the testing with Deb and the talking to Dr Curtis, now she had to come to these so called help meetings per Dr Matthews and Dr Curtis also. She didn't need help knowing what she saw was real. She glanced up noticing she wasn't the only one that wasn't leaving, although she had been ordered to remain with either Dr Matthews or Dr Curtis for the time being. Debbie Matthews chose her seat carefully. She was on the opposite side of the table from both Kat Schawnsee and Anna O'Halloran. She smiled warmly at Anna but it was Kat she wanted to keep an eye on without being too obvious. The thought of discreetly monitoring Schawnsee's behavior would have been comical if the situation wasn't so serious. How did they expect to 'spy' on the ship's chief security officer without her noticing it? She was already leery of just about everyone. It was fairly obvious Kat didn't appreciate having to attend the support sessions. Then again, she appeared to have listened intently. She actually seemed more relaxed now than she had been at any time during the past couple of days. Glancing to her right, Deb observed another "survivor" lingering at the conference table as most of the attendees filed out of the room. It was the young Vulcan security office, T'Kar, sitting quietly. The expression on her face was totally passive, exactly what one would expect from a female of her species. The CMO leaned forward, placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin atop her clasped hands. "Interesting meeting," she remarked casually. "Seems like quite a few of us are still wrangling with all of this." T'Kar sat there wondering, not sure of saying something about her dreams in which Vulcans sometimes dream; in fact, she sometimes, if you can say in human terms, feel the persons' feelings in some friendships<Famous Kirk, Spock and McCoy for example>. Thinking of saying something to all of them about these strange dreams to the people, she Hates to say in human terms, feels for them. To Dr. Matthews, Anna and Schawnsee, "Hello. Can I ask a question about something private if it doesn't bother your so called feelings? Do you still have the dream or dreams of watching the ship blow up while in the shuttle craft, then waking up as the ship goes up? I am sensing feelings from the crew which I never felt before. Are you experiencing the same problem?" T'Kar sat there waiting for an answer maybe she needs to go back to Vulcan to get help or maybe these people can help her. Anna looked over to T'Kar and smiled briefly, nodding her head. "I still dream of the time spent on the Romulan ship...and what I saw there. But I have no ability to sense the feelings of others and so have not experienced that." Anna added a mental Thank heavens. She had always thought it sounded quite horrible to be able to distinctly feel and hear what the people around you were thinking. Such and invasion of privacy made her shudder. Debbie risked a quick glance at Kat before turning toward T'Kar. She was really pleased the Vulcan security officer was willing to talk about her....feelings. "I have dreams as well...primarily of the ship blowing up. I even experience the same emotions I felt when it actually happened." Kat looked over to Deb, but allowed her to finish before speaking up herself. "T'Kar, I am still having major troubles. That is one reason I have not returned to duty. The Doctors think it not safe. I close my eyes and see it all happen all over once again like its real." Kat starts breathing a bit hard as not to break down in front of her officer. She placed her head on her arms folded on the table covering her eyes and waited for Deb to ask her to return to Sickbay. T'Kar nodded. She wanted to take Kat, Anna and Deb in her arms and hug them but she was holding back some of her feelings-the human thing to do is to hold them in her arms but not logical for being a Vulcan. She was showing too much feeling since this incident, <but relieved that everyone is having the same problems as herself>. "Anna, Kat and Deb, if i can call you by your first names, if I don't offend anyone by doing so; I have a suggestion. I have talked to Dr. Serpek and Nurse T'pae, and also Ensign Sarko about this problem which I've been meditating on. With their help, I have not, as you say, dreamed the dreams again about the ship. The dreams are becoming less and less. Also, my mental control<shields >have improved; I can control the wave of feelings from the crew that I have been exposed to. Maybe they can help you, too, with mediation techniques or as Dr. Serpek suggested, a mind meld of shorts. Maybe it will help Kat, Anna and Deb, too." T'Kar waited for their answer. Pleased that T'Kar had achieved some relief through using meditation, Anna made an effort to control her immediate negative reaction to the thought of any kind of 'mind meld'. She had never been able to get completely comfortable with being around species that had an ability to read the thoughts and sense the feelings of others. An unfortunate prejudice instilled at an early age and one she still struggled with. The idea that someone would willingly allow another to share their thoughts through physical contact horrified her. "I appreciate your suggestion, T'Kar," Anna began with a smile, "but it's not something I am comfortable with, and in truth, I feel as if at this point, I am handling the dreams well enough that they aren't any more than uncomfortable." Debbie smiled at T'Kar's suggestion but she felt much like Anna did. Right now, her emotions were as confused as they'd ever been. She was having difficulty sharing her feelings with her own husband. The idea of a mind meld was unthinkable at this point in time. "I'm not sure I could tolerate a mind meld," she said honestly. "Minor or not. I have considered hypnosis. That seems to have helped others who suffer from similar emotional distress. But I'm not even sure about that." Kat listened to the others. She was not comfortable with her junior officer calling her by her first name. Something wasn't right about that. "T'Kar. This is the only place you may use my first name," she replies in a snappy tone. "As far as a mind meld, I don't think so. I'm not going to allow anyone to try looking into my mind. I can handle this myself. I do my own version of mediation. If I want any outside help, I'll ask the Docs here. In other words. Thanks, but no thanks." Kat, not wanting to hear any more, and thinking she's done with all of this, stands and walks towards the door. "I'll be in my quarters." She turns and steps through the door. T'Kar nodded in a Vulcan fashion and wondered if she went too far with her suggestions. I hope I, in human terms didn't offend anyone with my suggestions. I hope, we are still, if I can use the term, 'friends'. There is another way; it's ancient but it might work. Doctors or healers, as they are called, use a plant on my planet. It's a cactus like plant which relaxes the mind. We use it in teas and wounds. It might help our situation. In fact, it was in the package of teas I sent you from our leave. Clearly, T'Kar had hit a nerve with her talk of mind melds and meditation, Anna thought as she watched Commander Swan stalk to the doors. She knew from Caroline's veiled references that some members of the crew were not doing well, and from The security chief's response, Anna guessed that perhaps Kat Swan was one of them. Turning to T'Kar with an easy smile, Anna replied to the other woman's most recent suggestion. "The gift of teas and books was very thoughtful and generous of you, T'Kar. You also gifted me with the lyre and I want you to know that though I have no musical ability, I am still attempting to play it with the use of the instruction book that accompanied it." Shooting a quick glance to Debbie, Anna looked back to T'Kar, adding, "As for the efficacy of the teas, I don't doubt but that if Vulcan physicians are using them they are very effective, but again, I am not someone who is comfortable with adjusting my brain chemistry in any way. I'm very appreciative of your obvious concern for our welfare, though. You are a very kind person." "Yes, T'Kar," added Debbie, pushing back her chair and slowly standing. "I'm very impressed by your suggestions and even more so by your concern for our well being." She glanced at the door that Kat had disappeared through a few moments earlier and then back at T'Kar. "Unfortunately, I don't think there is a cure all for what ails us. Everyone handles stressful situations differently. What works for one may not help another." She walked around the table until she was standing beside the young Vulcan security officer. "I'll look into the tea....see if there is a possibility it would be effective. There may be some among us who would benefit from it. Thank you for offering." There are a few who need to have their brain chemistry adjusted, she thought but kept that opinion to herself. With a slight nod at both Anna and T'Kar, Deb headed toward the door. "Right now, it's back to the salt mine. I hope this session was beneficial. I think we can use more of them." T'Kar stood up. In Vulcan fashion, hoping she didn't show more of her feelings to them, maybe she should go back to Vulcan for some help or discuss it with Dr. Matthews after her shift. "Quite logical, I agree with your logic on this subject." My logic has been faulty since this incident. "Dr. Matthews... Sirs..." Going into Vulcan mode, "I will think of all of your suggestions, If I can use the word, thank you, excuse me, my shift is beginning in 5 minutes. Have a nice day." Watching as the three women left the room, one after the other, Anna slowly rose to her feet. Were these meetings helpful? She didn't know. Would she return? Probably.

Jon sits within a courtyard meditating; the sounds of water pouring from the fountains add to the courtyard’s overall tranquility. Statues of famous knights outline the perimeter with them facing towards the center. It’s good to visit even though it’s just an illusion. As he finishes his meditation session, he looks around the area “I forgot how lonely it gets here, even with the sprites, it’s just me in the end.” Jon gets up and exits the holodeck with the program ending behind him. He adjusts his knight’s robes slightly, “I wonder where Anna is,” he taps on a wall panel to locate her only to find out that she is in the holodeck that is next to the one he was using. Reaent's resources hadn't run to luxuries such as holodeck usage during the latter part of the Proxima mission and Anna had missed using them for a good workout. The gyms on board offered excellent facilities but running on a treadmill--the best you could say about it, is that it efficiently forced your body to work hard. At the end of the run, you were glad you'd done it but you sure didn't feel as if you'd gotten anywhere. She preferred to run and hike an all-terrain program; time went faster and she felt immersed in nature. Heck, she even got her feet wet, she thought as she ran through a creek, enjoying the cold water soaking her up to the bottoms of her shorts, her lightweight hiking boots keeping her sure footed on the slippery river rocks. Upon entering the holodeck Jon starts walking a trail, “Interesting program,” he says, as he navigates through the area. In the distance, he spots Anna, not too far ahead. He steadily makes his way over to her location, being careful not to lose his footing. Not sure what made her turn and look over her shoulder, Anna looked back and was so surprised to see Jon heading her way, she forgot to watch where she was going and almost got up close and personal with a tree. Pretending that the near miss hadn't occurred, she turned her back on the tree and walked towards Jon, stopping just as he did. She smiled, eyeing the robes he was wearing, the disparity in their dress not lost on her. He looked unflappable as always and she was in a sweaty tank top, and wet, dirty shorts and boots. His hair hung clean around his shoulders, and hers was scraped back in a tangled ponytail. "Mr. Shamor, you are distinctly overdressed for a hike in the forest," she said, with mock seriousness, before drinking a long swallow of water from the bottle hanging in its harness from her shoulder. “I was next door and was wondering where you were,” noting the ‘overdressed’ comment. “As for these robes, let’s just say it’s better than wearing armor. These are the traditional robes of the knights, designed to be lightweight and allow freedom of movement. Getting a good workout I see.” "I've been needing to get some exercise in," she replied, "And there's no reason not to have some fun doing it, if you can get the holodeck time." Anna nodded to the robes, looking at him curiously, "They're very impressive, Jon. Is there a reason you're wearing them?" He'd said he was in the holodeck next door. “I was meditating in the courtyard of the Order. Granted, it was peaceful but suffice to say I was feeling lonely and needed to be interacting with someone real rather than a hologram.” For a moment he thought rather foolish for saying that but he felt he should be honest. “What about you? I take it you prefer a good hike over the exercise rooms?” "I prefer almost anything over the gym," Anna joked, "but yes, given the chance, I would rather be in a natural setting than artificial. I grew up on a space station and my parents made a point of taking me and my brothers camping as often as they could manage it." She was touched and flattered that he'd sought her company out, and her smile was unaccustomedly shy, as she asked, "What about you? What's your favorite holo program?" Thinking for a moment, “Well, there’s an open grass field I like to go to at night and just stare up at the stars. During that time, I hoped there’d be those looking back as I see them.” He smiles as he talks about the program, “It’s the simple things that bring happiness in life.” "Well, with all that you've lived through and seen, I'm willing to take your word on that," she answered, and then added with a smile, "the happiness part, I mean." She crossed her arms across her chest, the cool breeze programmed to keep an active hiker comfortable now feeling a little chilly while standing still in wet clothes and footwear. "And, Jon... I hope there was someone looking back. Your starry meadow sounds lovely." He raises his brow at Anna, “Are you cold?” Looks at her feet that are wet, “That explains why. Maybe we should go somewhere so you can dry your feet off. That way you can warm up a little. Who knows, I could show you that meadow later if you’re done hiking.” Anna looked down at herself and then met Jon's eyes, and started to laugh. "I would love to see the meadow but only after I've seen the shower in my quarters first, but as for going somewhere different...let's head up the path." Anna called out, "Computer, reset program to Lookout Point." She closed her eyes for a moment, her equilibrium always thrown a bit when the computer rescrambled a program. She opened her eyes as the ground beneath her feet leveled out to a plank floor. She and Jon were now standing in the middle of a wood shelter made of rough hewn logs and open on three sides, the fourth being made up of a huge granite fireplace with wooden tables and chairs scattered around the area. A panoramic mountain view was on display. She gave Jon a sideways look, her eyes twinkling. "Nice place for a picnic, eh?" Jon looks around the shelter, “Cozy, I like it. What do you like when it comes to a picnic?” He examines the structure, liking the architecture due to the handcrafted look of the cabin. Anna looked around fondly. This place always reminded her of those camping trips with her family. "We used to catch fish and grill them up. Cleaning them was horrible, of course, but I managed to get as much fish guts on my brothers as they got on me. We cooked dough over the fire by wrapping it around a metal skewer." Anna walked to the fireplace and pulled a box of matches off the great stone slab that made up the mantelpiece. There was a lantern sitting there but it wasn't dark right now and wasn't necessary. She scraped the match to light it and then threw it into the waiting kindling. That was the great thing about the holodeck, and the worst; you never had to worry about the damp getting to your matches and the fire always cooperated by starting up right away. She turned her back on it, already feeling the heat of the still small fire beginning to build. "Everything tastes good after you hike, Jon," she grinned. "Besides, I tend to not be too picky." “The same applies to me, I’m not picky either.” He sits at a chair by the fireplace. Smiling at Anna, “Care to relax your legs a little before getting something to eat?” "I don't mind if I do," she answered, smiling back. Taking the seat across from him, Anna tipped it so it was balancing on two legs, and rested her feet on the raised hearthstone. "Before we go eat anywhere, I definitely have to clean up," she said, looking into the fire which was now burning very well. “I understand, plus I’ll have to get back in uniform soon. However, it was nice to wear my robes even if it was for a little while.” He relaxes in the chair. “So what would you like to eat?” "You're pulling an evening shift tonight? In that case...breakfast for dinner," she answered promptly, catching his eye. "And I don't mean oatmeal! Pancakes with maple syrup and sausage." She folded her hands and rested them on her stomach. The thing is, now that I'm sitting down, I'm going to have to find a will of steel to get back out of this chair." Jon gets up from his chair and walks over to Anna, lending a hand to help her up. “I think I can arrange that meal for you. What would you prefer for a drink?” Anna lifted her feet off of the hearth and let the chair return to its normal four on the ground footing, as she took his hand and let him pull her up. "You went to enough trouble the other night, and you have to be on duty soon. Let's meet in the mess after I clean up and you change, ok?" Anna, not waiting for him to answer, called out, "Computer, end program." She gave his hand a tug, and started for the doors. "And Jon...pancakes always cry out for ice cold milk." “I’ll meet you there,” he said with a smile. “Don’t worry, I will make sure everything is ready when you arrive.” "I appreciate that, but I'm not the one who has to be on time for shift," Anna reminded him. "I'll hurry, but don't wait for me to start eating, ok?" He nods, “Either way, I look forward to meeting you there. See you soon.” "See you soon," Anna echoed, and with a wave, turned and went in the opposite direction.

*Dr. Caroline Curtis played by Samantha Kent Caroline stepped out of her office and moved down the Reaent corridor, listening to the low thrum of the engines. It was early evening; she had just finished a few last consults who had crept cautiously into her office after alpha shift had finished -- a few members of the Reaent crew who had endured the timeline in which their ship had exploded (a group she was coming to refer to in her own mind as the "survivors"), as well as a young and earnest Bajoran crewman from the engineering department absolutely baffled by the erratic behavior of his roommate, who had also lived through the trauma. Life had become very busy for her very quickly; she had never had such a quick turnaround on a reassignment order before -- or such a strange set of circumstances to be walking into -- in all the time she had been in the service. To be perfectly frank with herself -- as she made a point of being, given how often she spent telling other people to be so -- it was a little overwhelming, the sort of assignment a psychologist hoped for all their life and then spent the majority of wondering if they were actually making an impact. For now, though, she mostly wanted a rest, and so she was heading back to the quarters that had been assigned to her for her stay on the ship. The hallways were quiet and she whistled softly to herself as she strode at an easy pace down the corridors, glancing occasionally into some of the rooms she passed when the doors were open. Her quarters were located in an out of the way corner on one of the main science decks, and she nodded at a crewman in a blue collar making his way out of the main science lab as she swung past it, glancing through the doors to see inside. She spotted a familiar face (still a fairly rare occasion on this ship) inside the main office -- Annabelle O'Halloran, one of the first people who had come to see her over the past few days. Caroline thought back over the crew manifest, which she had been doing her best to absorb to as great a degree as possible. As near as she could tell, O'Halloran had only just been promoted to the position of chief science officer, even just in the time since Caroline had last spoken to her. Probably quite a jump for the young officer -- she had seemed smart, capable, and motivated, but this had been her first mission, according to her personnel file, and a hell of a mission at that. After a moment's thought, Caroline adjusted the turn of her steps and entered the laboratory, tripping the motion sensor just as it began to slide the lab's doors shut. It couldn't hurt to do a follow-up and see how O'Halloran was doing with her new situation. Anna sat at her desk, ostensibly reading through reports but after realizing she'd just scrolled through the same padd for the second time without retaining any of it, She set it aside. Her mind was still on her earlier conversation with Tabor Nansk. The Bajoran pilot was convinced that Starfleet had previous knowledge of the temporal anomaly and that the Reaent had actually been sent to investigate it. He was trying to find proof of it, and Anna knew she hadn't been any help in his quest, and though she'd wanted to dismiss it out of hand, his intensity of belief that the Reaent was at the center of a conspiracy had caused her to re-examine what she thought. It had never occurred to her that the Federation could have had prior knowledge of the Romulans' ability to open a wormhole at will. It had never occurred to her until very recently that the Reaent might not have ever been expected to return from this mission. If that were the case, did Starfleet consider the ship and crew to be expendable? A miserable thought and one that she'd briefly thought of and then decided that it was pointless to consider without any kind of proof. Caroline pinged the chime on the office door for courtesy's sake even though the door was open. "Hello," she said, offering a smile in the direction of the CSCI, whose attention seemed to be engrossed in a stack of reports. "Dr. Curtis," Anna smiled a greeting and rose to her feet. She hadn't seen the Counselor since her appointment with her a few days ago. "Please, come in-it's nice to see you again." It was, too. Anna had enjoyed meeting with Caroline Curtis. She was a very pleasant person and Anna had enjoyed speaking with her. However, Anna still hadn't followed her advice and written to her father. It wasn't that she didn't plan to. At some point. Probably. There just hadn't been any time, Anna told herself, recognizing it for the lie it was. Caroline stepped into the office and glanced around at the decor; it was evident that Anna was still in the process of making herself at home there. "I hope you don't mind my bothering you this late; I was just passing on my way to my quarters and thought I'd stop in and see how you were doing." She looked back at O'Halloran and her smile widened a little. "I understand congratulations are in order -- you've had a promotion?" "Of course, I don't mind," Anna, replied sincerely. In fact, Caroline's visit came as a welcome distraction. "And yes, you're correct--I'm in charge of the science department now. It was unexpected and it will take a little time to get used to it." An understatement. "Can you sit for a bit? I'd love to hear how Reaent is treating you." Caroline looked somewhat amused at this solicitation, but accepted the chair Anna directed her towards with a nod of gratitude. "Thank you. And Reaent is treating me just fine; I've been made to feel very welcome." And very needed... "The crew seems to be settling into something of a rhythm now that their orders have been...ah...finalized." The casual comment was of course to some extent a deliberate conversational tactic to get the topic back onto the condition of the Reaent crew (and, indirectly, of Anna herself), but it was also a true statement; the relief at hearing that the crew would be going to Cestus rather than back to the Neutral Zone had been almost palpable on some accounts. She would have to be sure to pass her thanks on to Captain McQueen at some point for that. "The crew is delighted to know they are going away from the Neutral Zone and not towards it," Anna responded dryly, as she reseated herself, letting the chair tip back a bit. "After everything you've no doubt been hearing about the recent experience, you can understand why." "Oh, absolutely," Caroline replied. "I don't blame them in the slightest; if I had been through some of the stories I've heard, I wouldn't want anything to do with the place either." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and looked pleasantly at Anna. "Do you know what sort of work you'll be doing when we arrive there?" Anna picked up a padd and clearing her throat, "This is a direct quote from Captain McQueen," she smiled, and read, "Investigate proposed modifications to Federation trade routes near the Cestus system, while evaluating the status of previously deployed defense systems." Looking back to Caroline, she grinned, "End quote." Caroline chuckled at the expression on Anna's face. "Sounds like nice, quiet work," she said with a smile. "I was more curious about you personally, though; any projects in the works?" It was important for the crew to keep busy if they were going to swing back to something resembling their normal approach to life, and the department chiefs would be a big part of that -- not to mention that it would help Anna to adjust to her new position. "Any projects?" Only just managing not to roll her eyes, Anna nodded, but not unhappily. "Until recently, Dr. Brian Smith was the department head and he had an ambitious slate of work that unfortunately, not very much progress has been made on because the past couple of months were so...turbulent. There are some things that cannot proceed without his direct supervision, but I'm going forward with a good sixty-percent of the rest." "That's good to hear," Caroline said, nodding. "It would be easy, coming in under such circumstances, to feel overwhelmed by the position; I'm glad you seem to be forging ahead on all thrusters." "That's the way it seems to you, eh?" Anna smiled disarmingly, adding, "Good. I prefer to look confident as I head up a path I didn't expect to have to walk." "Well, such is the nature of Starfleet life," Caroline said. "Our assignments and our plans rarely coincide all that much." She chuckled. "A week ago I had expected to be assigned stationside for at least another year, and yet...I find myself needed elsewhere." Anna stood up and walked to the replicator, glancing at Caroline, "Would you like something to eat or drink? I'm having some tea." "Tea sounds lovely," Caroline said, allowing herself to settle back in her seat. "I must say I was surprised to find you here so far after alpha shift; catching up on work?" Anna nodded in response to Caroline's request for tea, not yet responding to her query regarding the late hour. "I like mine plain with only sugar but what would you like in yours?" "Milk and sugar, please," Caroline replied. Nodding, Anna replicated the two teas. "Here you go," she said setting Caroline's mug down in front her, before retaking her seat, where she eased back in the chair, the mug held between her hands. "To answer your question, Caroline...do you mind if I call you, Caroline?" "Not at all," Caroline said, picking up the mug and blowing gently across the top of the liquid to cool it before sipping. "I'd like that." "Me, too," Anna replied with a smile. "I'm in here late tonight because I honestly didn't feel like going back to my quarters. I got to thinking about the Proxima mission earlier this afternoon and it's on my mind. What I should have done is gone and gotten in some exercise." "That does sound like it would be enjoyable. I haven't really had time to take advantage of much of the ship's facilities beyond the medical areas at this point; it's been a bit chaotic," Caroline said, with just a touch of wryness to her tone. She was tempted to further pry into the effects of the Proxima mission on Anna's psyche but then again, Anna hadn't asked for this interview. No doubt there would be plenty of time for that later. "I like going for a good long hike in a holodeck program or even just running the treadmill in the gym. I sleep better after physical exertion and normally I don't miss the opportunity but I let time slip away today." Anna lifted her mug and paused before taking a sip, her eyes meeting Caroline's over the rim, "What do you like to do when you're not busy keeping people sane?" Caroline considered the question. "Well, as you say -- a good dose of exercise on occasion; beyond that, though, for the most part my hobbies are more on the quiet side. Reading, writing, music, and the like. I find this job provides me with plenty of excitement from time to time." "I love to read, too, but as for music..." Anna made a grimace. There are a lot of musicians and fine singers in my family but I am not one of them. One of our security officers gifted me with a Vulcan Lyre and an instruction booklet. I am afraid that though the spirit is willing, the skill is not inherent and cannot be learned." Caroline couldn't help laughing at the expression on Anna's face. "I wouldn't take it too personally; I never learned to do more than fiddle about aimlessly with the cello. More than content to listen to others, of course." She quirked an eyebrow thoughtfully. "I wish my instrument had come with an instruction booklet -- maybe that is the key." Anna immediately negated Caroline's suggestion by adamantly shaking her head, even as she joined in the other woman's laughter. "If you've taught yourself to play the cello, you don't need an instruction booklet," Anna muttered under her breath, before asking Caroline, "You mentioned reading and writing. What do you enjoy reading, and for that matter...what sort of writing?" "Historical fiction, actually...no more than a hobby these days," Caroline said with a shrug. "But a good stress release. As for reading...I'm afraid I'm a little undiscriminating." She smiled. "If it has words, I'm likely to give it at least a glance, so if you've any recommendations..." "You write historical fiction as a hobby? What time period?" Anna asked curiously, and then added, "Most of what I read is field related but I admit that adventure/thrillers will keep me up long after I should have already gone to bed." Caroline chuckled. "As I said before, Anna, you seem the type with an active imagination -- I can't say I'm surprised." She leaned back in her chair, setting her mug down. "Most of the writing I do I center in Earth history...1800s specifically; Napoleonic Wars, American Civil War, etc. I did spend some time at one point doing research on Vulcan history around the time of the...what did they call it? The Time of Awakening -- Surak and all of that. Very interesting stuff. This was when I was fifteen and thought I wanted to write forever, though; lately I don't have time for such in-depth research." Her expression turned slightly self-deprecating. "The appeal was always the personalities, of course...figuring out how time and place made a person. So I think in some sense I was always going where I ended up heading." "My family is originally from Earth, so I have always taken an interest in its history but I was raised within a group of people with a very strong oral tradition and I'm afraid that I later discovered that recorded history and what survives by retelling is often quite different." Anna took a drink from her mug, and then smiled across the desk to Caroline. "Obviously, you enjoy writing or it wouldn't be a hobby, but tell me...since it is fiction, do you take any pleasure in rewriting history so that justice prevails or do you stay within a framework of known facts?" "What happened, happened -- it's what it created in the people around it that I'm interested in," Caroline said, and then paused. "As in real life." She looked at Anna and laced her hands around one knee, resting her weight against one arm of her chair. "I must say I'm very curious about the family structure you seem to have grown up in. Clan-based, oral traditions...not the average white-collar upbringing, so to speak, it sounds like." "It's a very close knit group, run by a council drawn from family members and presided over by he whom we call Chief," Anna replied. "The Clan is actually descended from a group of colonists from Ireland that left Earth more than two hundred years ago. Things didn't go so well for them on the planet they were trying to settle and they ended up finding a different path. They found themselves on a station called Kilo in the Purgatory System, where many of the families and most of the business ventures are still based today." Anna leaned back in her seat, mug cupped between her hands. "It's in non-Federation territory--very active trade routes go through there." "Fascinating...and you would have been a cargo captain of some sort if you had remained with them?" Caroline looked honestly interested. "Very different from the sort of work you're doing here." "I was apprenticed at the age of ten to one of the family craft specialties and I was due to be bonded at the age of twenty-one. We're all able to fill several different positions on the family freighters but it's my youngest brother, Liam," Anna smiled with affection as she said his name, "I think he'll have his own ship someday." If only to make his own escape. Liam had his own problems fitting into the clan structure. "Close with your brother, are you?" Caroline asked, reading the sentiment in the CSCI's eyes. "We were, and it didn't make things easier for Liam. I think he felt deserted when I left for the Academy," Anna replied while tilting her head consideringly as she watched Caroline. "Where are you from? How'd you end up in Starfleet?" "Nowhere nearly as interesting -- Tulsa, Oklahoma," Caroline replied dryly. "And not to put too fine a point on it, after I had my degree, I asked where I might be kept busy. And I certainly have been; it's very fulfilling work." "Tulsa Oklahoma," Anna repeated slowly and then smiled at Caroline. "Very pretty sounding. I've never been there, although I did go camping in Arkansas while at the Academy. We had a good time." "It's a dusty place," Caroline said, rolling her eyes a little. "Not bad to grow up in but I'm glad I got to move out. Baltimore and then San Francisco...much better. The Academy's a nice little transition period before they shoot you up in a rocket." "Nice little transition period?" Anna set her mug on the desk and stretched. "I didn't know if I was coming or going for the first six months I was there. It was an incredible culture shock to me. I was a total misfit." Caroline nodded. "But my point is it's better to have the culture shock there than up here. And you seem to have made great strides in the way of adaptation." She smiled. "I'd say you get points for resiliency." "There was no way I was going to go back home with my tail between my legs, Caroline, and I think that was pure bullheaded stubbornness rather than resiliency, but thank you," Anna replied with a wry smile. "Actually, I have found that living on a starship is very similar to clan life. There's a distinct hierarchy, everyone has their allotted tasks and we answer to various sub leaders who in turn answer to a Chief. Is it a little sad, after everything I've told you, that I find it comforting?" "Of course not -- it's what you grew up with. A boat can be made to sail halfway around the world; it'll still need an anchor," Caroline said, and she shrugged slightly. "Your independence clearly means a lot to you, though." "Nice analogy," Anna complimented with a grin, logging off her view screen and folding it down. "I guess we really are just a product of our environment, no matter what it was." "So I've found -- though I've also learned not to make generalizations about anything," Caroline said. "Starfleet and psychiatry are both professions that are full of surprises." "I had no preconceived notions. I wanted only the guarantee that I would work in my field, which is actually quantum biology, and that I couldn't look a year ahead, or five years, or ten years and say...this is where I'll be and what I'll be doing." Anna met Caroline's steady gaze with a smile of satisfaction. "It shouldn't take a gift for prophecy but I am damn sure that I have no idea what even next week is going to bring." Caroline laughed. "If those are your only requirements...then you're definitely in the right place, Lieutenant." "I've had to think very carefully on that, with some things that have occurred over the course of this past mission but when all is said and done, I think I'm right where I should be." Anna stood up and threw her mug into the recycler, before turning back to the other woman. "I hope you feel that way, too, Caroline." Caroline pushed herself to her feet and turned towards the replicator to follow suit. "I do, Anna, very much," she said, glancing at Anna with a nod. "I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be." "Well, as to that and speaking on a smaller scale altogether, I have it on good authority that there is non-replicated chocolate cake in the mess tonight." Anna paused for a moment, so that Caroline could absorb the enormity of her last statement, before adding, "I suggest we relocate with all possible speed." Caroline clearly did appreciate the enormity of this statement and she burst out laughing at the mock-sober expression with which Anna coupled the news. She really needed a rest before tomorrow's shift, but she knew herself well enough to realize that this quick dip into recreation was just what the doctor ordered -- for both of them. "That sounds ideal," she said, gesturing for Anna to precede her out of the room. "Lead on!"

Dr. Smith had never mentioned how busy the padd work must have kept him, Anna thought as she waded through the stack on her desk. It was all about prioritization and organization. Anna tapped her work screen and sent Mr. Jyrd a schedule of what dedicated resources the Science Department was going to require based on the project outlines sitting on her desk. JJ would let her know if it was unreasonable. Anna mentally crossed her fingers that some of these could be completed in timely fashion. Most of it was holdover from before Reaent went looking for the Proxima. Jon enters her office. “How’s the new position treating you?” He seemed relaxed from first glance, mostly due to the Reaent’s course change. Anna looked up with a grin, happy to see him, and more than willing to be interrupted. "Well, let's just say it's pushing and I'm still trying to figure out how to push back." “The key is to set the easy ones aside for later while working on the hard ones periodically.” The way he said it seemed to make Anna think that Jon was a department chief at one point in time. “I take it you also noticed the course change to the Cestus system? I’m guessing our new CO had something to do with this.” Waving to the surface of her desk, Anna answered, "You're talking like you know," and then she motioned to one of the chairs in front of it. "Please sit down and say you'll stay awhile, and yes, I definitely noticed the course change," she added with a lopsided smile. "If you'd been in McQueen's staff meeting, you would have enjoyed the 180 degree turn the mood in the room took when he said we were not going to be patrolling the Romulan Neutral Zone." Jon smirked as he sits in a chair “I was on the bridge when he issued the order. As for his reasoning, I am guessing he viewed the reports from the last mission and pulled some strings with the rank he possessed. Am I somewhere in the ballpark?” "You're batting 1000. from where I sit. Of course, he's read the reports and he understands how difficult is for this crew to lose Captain Michaels after going through what it just did." Standing up, Anna walked to the replicator and ordered a hot black tea with plenty of sugar. "Can I get you something?" she asked, looking over to where Jon was sitting. “I’ll have a root beer,” he replies. “One thing that has me wondering is what’s going on in the Klingon area of the Neutral Zone, since that appears to be where we are going.” "One root beer, coming up." Anna ordered one in a frosted glass with plenty of foam, and set it in front of him, before setting her own mug on the desk and reseating herself. "I don't know. Captain McQueen didn't remark on any expectations and there was no further discussion. We've now got an Ensign named Tobias Jaren aboard who says he was specifically assigned to the science department with regards to the scanning project for that area of space." Anna shrugged and wrapped her fingers around the mug, absorbing its heat. "Whatever is waiting there, I'm just as glad it's far, far away from the Romulans." He grins as he picks up the mug. “Ah yes, the newbie, although I doubt he liked being called that. In my opinion, it’s better than the other term,” he laughs a little before taking a sip. “I’m glad we’re getting away from the Romulans, I know most of us had enough to last for a while.” "Hmmm, newbie?" Anna answered thoughtfully. "He sure seemed to know his way around the equipment and seemed quite familiar with the Ambassador Class. I didn't notice anything wet behind the ears about him, but Trills are like that. Once they are joined, they can seem like very old souls, indeed." “I only meant that in a new to the crew sort of way. Speaking of new crew, what did you think of Captain McQueen?” he asked. "He's..." Anna took another sip of her rapidly cooling tea and considered how to answer. "The meeting was pretty short, as I'm sure you noticed. He went to the trouble of providing refreshments, although maybe that's normal at these things, or else he was trying for a convivial atmosphere. Captain Michaels never bothered, but then again, the few meetings I was part of under Michaels' command always took place during the Proxima mission and cookies were not really conducive to a discussion of how to make a ship invisible when it has no cloaking device." Anna returned Jon's gaze and simply stated, "He was pulled away from his own ship with no chance to say goodbye and put here where the crew misses their own Captain and has every reason to be suspicious of why they were sent on that awful mission in the first place. He was able to change our orders and it's my impression that he answered the questions put to him during the meeting honestly." He takes another sip from his drink, “From what you’re saying, it seems that Captain McQueen has been around enough to know when the situation stinks. I’ll have to see it for myself so you would have to forgive my skepticism.” Anna leaned back, mug held between her hands, although its comforting warmth had dissipated. "No doubt, I would forgive you much, Jon," she answered evenly, "but in this case, I could never hold your skepticism against you. I have no experience when it comes to Fleet politics, but if it's anything like Clan politics, or politics anywhere for that matter, there's always a lot hidden below the surface. I think 'wait and see' is probably the thought of the day." “Word of advice when it comes to politics of any kind, avoid digging too deep. I found that out firsthand.” He sets the mug on the table. “Did you find out anything else when you were in the meeting? Who we are going to be dealing with?” Anna smiled sardonically, answering, "When it comes to that sort of thing, Jon, believe me, I am wise beyond my years. I grew up around it, and as for who we're going to be dealing with? McQueen didn't say." He nods “I guess we’ll find out soon enough. Maybe we could talk about something that’s not mission related.” "Especially since we've exhausted our scant knowledge of what the current mission entails," Anna laughingly agreed and looked at him enquiringly. "What do you want to talk about and I'll tell you right now...I don't want to talk about the Science Department!" Laughing at the work comment, “That’s the last thing I talk about. Aside from what we talked about on the starbase, I don’t know much about you. What are your hobbies?” "Well, for the last couple of months, it was just staying alive, like everyone else," Anna answered with a grin, "But when I'm not trying to avoid the Grim Reaper, I enjoy metal craft. Remember the knife I showed you during the phaser training? I made that. I'm a journeymen level crafter of small edged weapons. I also work with precious metals and create and design jewelry. It was my job; was supposed to stay my job but I was accepted into the Academy." Anna smiled as she leaned back against her seat. "I didn't have the patience for sewing." Remembering the knife, “Ah yes, it was a well crafted blade. Perhaps, I could show you the weapons and armor I have. Granted, the forging methods are different, but the quality is about the same. As for the sewing, I’m not that kind of person either.” "I'd love to see them, Jon," Anna answered, with interest. "Are they very old?" “Ye, but I keep them in pristine condition because you never know when they might come in handy. The armor, of course, is a different story since it’s self-contained and the systems need to be updated every century or so.” "I'm thinking our idea of body armor is a little bit different. Yours is mechanized?" Anna asked, not quite sure what he meant. “More along the lines of a mixture between bionics and nanotech, but the suit is designed for effectiveness and freedom of movement. Technically, if you saw it you’d be quite surprised. Although I doubt it will see any use unless it was absolutely necessary.” "Well, I don't like to think of the situation that would require it but I'd like to see it when you have a chance." Anna logged off her workstation and folded it down before getting to her feet. "I'm done for the day. I can't look at another report at this point. Have you already eaten dinner?" As he stands up, “I haven’t yet. I was thinking along the lines of spaghetti with french bread and salad. How does that sound?” "I think that sounds perfect. Is that the special in the mess tonight?" Anna asked, picking up their empty mugs and tossing them in the recycler. A smile on his face, “Only if you consider ‘special’ made by me. Granted you’d have to give me a head start to get everything prepared." "I do consider that pretty special, and you can have all the time you need," she replied with a smile, pleased by his thoughtful invitation. "Want me to help with anything?" “Just show up with an appetite and a smile. I’ll take care of the rest.” "I can handle both of those."

The staff meeting with McQueen had ended with the wholly unexpected news that they would not be patrolling the borders of the Romulan Neutral Zone, but would, in fact, be heading to the opposite side of the quadrant, to the Cestus system. Any place that wasn't the neutral zone held appeal, she thought to herself as she scrolled through what the database had on file. She'd happily given up on organizing Dr. Smith's office, now hers, for the moment. Tobias was also in the labs; he was walking around, looking over consoles. Even though everything internally had been updated over the years, the Ambassador had its own look. He thought of quaintness with a smirk as the rest of the department continued on with business as usual. Mind still on the Cestus system, Anna left the office, planning to go to the cartography lab. They had all of the information gathered from the Proxima mission to input. They were going in the opposite direction, it was true, but the data still needed to be analyzed and updated. And, Anna remembered, she was missing an Ensign. Mr. Tobias Jaren had come aboard shortly before they'd left Star Base 1123 and she'd seen neither hide nor hair of him. "Ensign Jaren, please respond," Anna commed, as leaving the departmental offices behind, she headed for the nearest turbolift. The voice disturbed his thoughts. He glanced down at the badge, tapping it. "This is Jaren." It was most likely a science or ops peon telling him to contact the CSCI. Or maybe she was calling her self. "Mr. Jaren, this is Annabelle O'Halloran. I'm the Chief Science Officer," and it's going to take a while to get used to saying that, she thought, before continuing with, "...and I'm looking forward to making your acquaintance. Please meet me in Stellar Cartography on Deck 12." "Very well, I can be there in a few minutes." He headed towards the door, still looking around as he exited. Thus began the search for the nearest turbolift. "Deck 12," she stated for the computer and took a look at the padd in her hand. It was the department schedule for the next two weeks and would now have to be revised to include Tobias. The timing was good, with Dr. Smith being transferred away for the time being; they wouldn't be left short handed. So many new crewmen were on Reaent now. Two hundred officers was a lot to lose in one mission; a catastrophically tragic amount. Anna stepped off the lift and turned right, the cartography lab was one of her favorite places and a good place to talk. Not so formal as an office and very much in keeping with the spirit of the ship's motto: "To learn all that is learnable." It didn't have a ring to it exactly but it summed up why she'd joined the Fleet in the first place. Tobias had finally found a lift, and was deposited on Deck 12 not much farther away. As he rounded a corner he noticed the raven-haired woman approaching Cartography. Making a slight jog to reach her, he held out his hand. "Lieutenant O'Halloran, I presume? Tobias Jaren." Anna looked up from the padd, automatically transferring it to her left hand as the Trill officer approached. Smiling, she took his hand, shaking it briefly, saying, "Good to meet you, Tobias, and yes, I'm Anna O'Halloran. Welcome aboard," she added, releasing his hand. He smiled and nodded, allowing her to lead them in. "I'm very excited to be here. There aren't many ships like the Reaent left out here anymore. I'm very eager to get to work." "I'm starting to think she may very well be one of a kind," Anna replied dryly as she walked up to the double doors, activating the sensor that opened them, revealing the lab. "I've had the chance to look through your service record and Reaent is lucky to have gotten you. I'm glad you managed to get aboard before we pulled out." A grin grew on Jaren's face as they entered Cartography. He somehow managed to resist running off and looking around, but his eyes wandered all over the room. "Oh this is nice. Very up to date. I might just have to work out of here." He looked over to her with a grin. His enthusiasm was palpable and Anna, watching for his reaction, met his grin with one of her own and then joined him in looking around the space. There wasn't another place like it on the ship. "The Reaent just went through a refit and much of the equipment has been updated and replaced." She moved into the lab, going directly to a console and logging in, a few keystrokes bringing the Cestus system online and a final tap to the screen surrounded them with a holographic display. "Our destination, Cestus the system, in case you haven't found out by now," she said, turning around and leaning with her hip against the counter. "Are you currently working on research that requires dedicated lab and system resources?" "Yes actually, I'm working with the team for the updated system scans for when we drop out of warp. It's been a while since the ship was in the region." He pushed a few controls, updating the holographic display for a tiny white comet near the edge of the system; otherwise the display stayed the same. "Fortunately, space usually moves slow." He was right. It usually moved very slowly. When it wasn't rewinding back on itself. "I'll take that into account when I rework the schedule to include you. There is a lot of data from our last mission to upload. We spent quite a bit of time in Romulan space and crossing the Neutral Zone and that material has still not been properly catalogued and uploaded into a permanent file." Anna hesitated, wondering how much of the last mission to share with Tobias. It was still the talk of the ship, and he was bound to find it fascinating. "Ah yes, I've heard of the circumstances of the Reaent's return. A very interesting phenomenon indeed. Had the events around it not been so...traumatic, I would have very much liked to experience it." He moved under the holographic solar system, appreciating the detail. Anna watched him, knowing, that if given the choice, she would still choose to experience the anomaly, cautioned him, saying quietly, "I can appreciate that point of view, but I know you'll understand when I say that it's not popular opinion. This new mission takes us physically in an entirely new direction and the prevailing hope is that the work we do will also be of a completely different tenor." He nodded, and looked at her with a genuine smile. "I can appreciate the need to start anew He could, too. Anna could see it in his eyes as she returned his smile with a warm one of her own. "I know you'll enjoy working with this crew, Tobias and I hope Reaent meets and exceeds your expectations"

Anna paused outside the door of the office that was now assigned to Dr. Caroline Curtis. She wasn't really sure she wanted or needed to keep the appointment with the psychiatrist. She was sure the dream would fade with time and truthfully, compared to what some seemed to be going through, Anna felt relatively unscathed. She didn't want to waste the doctor's time, and truth to tell, she didn't really know if she wanted to discuss the experience with someone who hadn't gone through it. Anna tapped the chime and waited, thinking one session wasn't going to hurt. Dr. Curtis was settled behind the desk in the office, which she had been assigned on her transfer from the Starbase. The small room was not ideal for counseling work, as it had the potential to feel cramped, but Curtis had spent most of the night getting it arranged with her belongings which had been transferred from the base, trying to make it feel as comfortable as possible. Everyone involved would probably benefit from that -- including herself even; this was easily the strangest set of cases she had ever been involved with. She looked up from a PADD of data on the Reaent's experiences as the door of her office chimed, and straightened, adjusting her uniform jacket slightly as she turned to face the entrance. "Come in!" Anna stepped forward as the door opened and paused just over the threshold, an easy smile lighting her face. "Hello, Dr. Curtis...nice to see you again." During the survivor's meeting that Debbie had set up, Anna's impression of Caroline Curtis had been that the woman didn't miss much, and that she was very pleasant. Anna wondered what she thought about the alternate time incident. Curtis let a smile drift onto her face as she saw the woman in science blue coming through the door. She remembered her from the meeting, which Doctor Matthews had organized, though the young woman had at the time been rather quiet. "Nice to see you as well...O'Halloran, isn't it? Anna? Please, come in, have a seat." She gestured to a comfortable-looking chair near the desk. "Yes, Doctor, Anna O'Halloran, thank you," Anna replied as she took the indicated seat. A quick glance around showed that Dr. Curtis had already made herself at home; the office felt very comfortable. Anna turned her gaze back to the psychiatrist, watching her expectantly, wondering exactly how this worked. Curtis let herself relax back in her own chair somewhat, catching Anna's eyes. "So...what can I do for you, Anna? What would you like to talk about?" she asked. It was a neutral question, intended to allow the young science officer to drive the conversational topic as she wished, at least to begin with. This was going to be easy, Anna thought confidently. "I've been having a recurring dream--well, actually, it falls into the nightmare category. During the...episode, there was a point where some of us were transported from the life pods onto a Romulan ship, threatened, and in one case killed, before the Romulans decided it would be better to murder us in the life pods and then transported us back. We sat there, waiting to be picked off for what seemed like a very long time, but in fact was mere minutes before the Akiras arrived and engaged the Romulans." Anna spoke calmly, not feeling particularly emotional as she recounted the facts. "In the dream, we never leave the Romulan ship. We're killed one by one and I wake up every time after it's my turn. I've never been hit with a disruptor but in the dream, I feel as if I'm exploding from the inside out." Anna shrugged, and continued before Caroline could speak. "I know it's a manifestation of the horrible fear that we wouldn't survive but that doesn't make it any more comfortable. I'm hoping that it will fade with time." She looked at Caroline with hopeful eyes. She was very certain of herself, Curtis thought. This didn't of course mean that Anna was not as shaken or even more so than the others Curtis had spoken to so far -- it could just mean she was more interested in hiding it. "It's not surprising that your subconscious would be expressing its reaction to these events through your dreams," she confirmed with a nod. "And it sounds like it's chosen a particularly nasty way of doing it; you clearly have an active imagination, which can be a curse as much as a blessing in this service at times. It will, as you say, fade...these things do pass on, but it would be good to talk about the feelings that you think are manifesting themselves here. Clearly your body and your subconscious are still experiencing some of the fear which that experience saturated you with." She wanted Anna to continue talking, even if it was simply to deny the statement; she wanted to understand how the other woman viewed the experience now that it was somewhat at arm's length. "I wish my subconscious would latch onto the incredible joy and relief I felt when we realized that those we thought dead were actually still alive, but I know it doesn't work that way." Anna folded her arms across her chest and eyed Caroline Curtis a little warily, but in truth it wasn't Caroline who made her nervous. Anna really didn't want to poke at this too deeply but she wasn't sure why and so with a deep breath she continued, "For a minute after I wake up I feel helpless...and angry. My heart's pounding so I can barely catch my breath and I'm drenched with sweat." Caroline shot Anna a practiced glance of noncommittal interest, calculated to show she was listening without putting Anna on the defensive. The helplessness was not particularly surprising; it was a refrain she'd been hearing from many of those who had been in the escape pods. However... "Angry...with what, exactly?" she asked. "I'm not completely sure," Anna answered and then immediately corrected herself, adding, "Well, no, that's not true. I know why, but it's not pertinent to what the crew went through." She met Caroline's gaze with a lopsided smile, "Ancient history. We can just say that I think that if we'd actually been killed and the timeline hadn't reconverged at the opportune time, then I think our deaths would have been pointless." Anna leaned her head back against the seat and stated simply, "This was my first mission out of the Academy. Everything I've worked for, everything I turned away from...it would have been for nothing." It was Caroline's experience that the things which people did not wish to talk about were generally the things most worth discussing, and Anna's phrasing was very telling. "You may think it's ancient history but your subconscious clearly doesn't." She paused, and then took a stab at the meaning of Anna's cryptic last sentence. "I take it your career in Starfleet means a great deal to you?" "My work for Starfleet means a great deal to me," Anna replied. "I tend not to think of it in terms of a career, but of course, it is that. Being accepted into the Academy provided me with an opportunity to take a different path than what I could have done had I remained working with my family." Recalling the science officer's earlier mention of "what she had turned away from," Curtis decided to pursue this line of questioning. "What is your family's line of work? And why did you choose to pursue Starfleet instead?" "My family is part of a larger group that works as artisans and merchants," Anna answered smoothly. "I enjoyed school, in fact I loved it and at a certain point, I decided that if I wanted to continue my studies-I would have to leave." Anna shifted in her seat, still hearing the angry voices of her parents over four years later. "I didn't have the support of anyone in my family other than my uncle. He tutored me and I managed to pass the entrance exam to the Academy. I chose Starfleet because it represented the opportunity to explore. I wouldn't be 'stuck' in one place. I wouldn't be...limited by anything other than my own abilities or lack of them." "An admirable outlook," Caroline said with a nod, her expression still interested. "And it shows a good deal of courage and determination to have chosen it through familial disapproval. What is your relationship like with them now?" "It's strained," Anna replied quietly. "I've been back a handful of times and my mother is clearly pleased to see me and we communicate but she stands firmly behind my father. The Clan, that is, the larger group, are friendly enough and I hear from a few of them but my father and older brothers' point of view is that I shamed them and failed in my obligations as an only daughter." Anna smiled at Caroline but it lacked any brightness. "I can't say I didn't know how it would be--my eyes were wide open when I made my choice but I had hoped..." Her voice trailed off and she shrugged, not finishing her thought. Caroline's eyes showed some sympathy as well as interest now. Anna's emotional response to her dream and to her recent experiences was taking on a new dimension. "It sounds like you made quite a sacrifice..." she said slowly, then asked carefully, watching for Anna's response, "You had hoped what, exactly?" "Chalk it up to my eternal optimism, Doctor," Anna replied dryly. "I thought my brothers would at least try to see my point of view, and in turn, work on my father." She gave a short laugh, muttering more to herself than Caroline, "I should have realized the O'Halloran stubbornness would work against me in this case." Caroline caught the self-deprecating tone of Anna's voice and looked at her firmly. "There's nothing wrong with that kind of optimism, and you must have been very disappointed that they didn't react in the way you'd hoped." She pondered the best way to proceed from here and then asked in as non-guiding a tone as possible, "Do you regret having made that decision?" The question caught Anna by surprise, and her response was immediate, "Oh no, not even for a moment!" She shook her head vehemently, adding, "If I'd stayed, I would now have been bonded for at least three years, would no doubt have at least one child, and would already be discussing who his/her potential bond mate would be." Anna smiled and this time there was no sadness. "Don't mistake me, Doctor, I love them and miss them and still hope that one day my father will be able to look at me and see and appreciate me for who I am and not what I should have been, but I will never regret that I chose to do something beyond his expectations." "That's good," Caroline said, and she smiled at the absolute certainty in the younger woman's tone. She leaned a head on one hand; eyeing Anna thoughtfully for a moment, before trying to bring the conversation back around to the original topic. "And this is that...'ancient history' you referenced -- what you left behind...and it angers you, the thought of death without having proved that sacrifice legitimate?" "Yes." Anna looked back at Caroline. "We came so close to death; those of us that survived. I knew unequivocally that we were going to be killed. Slaughtered, in fact. And all I could think of was that I wish I could have made peace with my father." For the first time Anna looked unsure, and struggled to put what she was thinking into words. "There's a part of me that thinks I won't be free of the dream until I resolve the issue and that's unfortunate, because currently, there is no way to resolve it." Yes...here was the meat of it. Caroline felt a small surge of satisfaction even as she nodded understanding of Anna's predicament. "Yes...unfortunately there never has been any kind of magic way to change people's opinions of our actions; that's something that only comes with time, if at all. However...it sounds as if your own personal opinion of your actions may be just as strong as his, and you have a great advantage in that. Many people have far less of a confident grasp of what they want out of their life and career, and that is something to be thankful for." She raised an eyebrow curiously. "Have you considered telling your father of this experience -- and of what was on your mind at the time? Perhaps he would appreciate the knowledge that you still value his opinion." "I have sat down and tried half a dozen times to put my feelings on PADD in the hopes that it would be coherent enough to force him to listen to how close I came to losing everything and how important he and my family is to me." Anna leaned forward, her eyes intent on Caroline's. "And I'm always drawn up sharply when I realize that my words will be the fulfillment of a prophecy he made when I left. He told me that this life was dangerous and if I willfully threw away the protection of my clan and family, if I turned my back on my obligation to my future bond mate and if I joined an organization shunned by all of them, then I had better be prepared to fend for myself." Anna gave Caroline a 'What can you do?' look. "It makes it hard to get past, Dear Father. I know him. He would say he was pleased I'd managed to survive my foolishness but that I should stop tempting fate and drag myself home. Where, by the way, my promised still waits. You'd think after four years he'd give up and make another allegiance even if it's not as politically advantageous." Caroline looked back at Anna for a moment and then said slowly, "You don't wish to see him feel himself proved right -- but everything you say he claims are things you have already accepted. That the life is dangerous, that you are fending for yourself independently. The question need not be whether he agrees with you -- perhaps it is only that you remain in contact with him, that you give him the opportunity to understand your emotions. What he chooses to do with that is up to him, but it would be good for you to be open, to yourself and him, about it." Anna thought about Caroline's suggestion and then smiled involuntarily. "It's true. What you say... And what can it hurt? The worst he can do is say 'I told you so'. If there's any chance of getting rid of that dream, I'll take it." Caroline chuckled. "'I told you so' is not always the most pleasant phrase to hear -- but I do think that opening the conversation will be a good start at the very least. This sort of experience is not something one snaps back from like a rubber band. You and your crewmates have been through a hell. But this may be a way to begin coming to terms with what was clearly for you a large part of it." "I think this experience will be with us the rest of our lives, but for me, other than the dream, my overwhelming feeling is still one of incomprehensible relief," Anna responded. "I am admittedly frustrated that we haven't found an explanation for why some crew experienced it and others did not but in the end, I'm almost glad that it happened to me. I have a much better appreciation for how tenuous our hold on life can be." Caroline finally gave into a really honest smile. "You strike me as an extremely optimistic person, Anna -- that will serve you well in the future, I think. It's a good outlook given how taxing this service can be, and you've had...quite a first mission, to say the least." She paused, then added, "However...there's no shame in feeling shaken by things, so if there's more you want to talk about, my door is open, and you have many crewmates who understand what you went through, if you feel more comfortable talking to them. And that's my advice for any mission you may find yourself on." Anna stood and returned Caroline's smile with a warm and sincere one of her own. "I appreciate the time you've given me, Dr. Curtis and I want you to know that I feel it was well spent and...helpful. Very helpful," Anna added softly. She reached across the desk and extended her hand to the other woman. "I hope we can talk again soon, and not have it be so one sided next time." Caroline quickly pushed herself to her feet and took Anna's hand in a firm grip. "I'd like that," she said with a nod. "And I'm glad you feel this may have helped you somewhat. Let me know if there's anything else I can do. It's what I'm here for." Anna shook the other woman's hand and released it. "I'm glad you've come aboard and I know others will be too. I hope the Reaent treats you well, Dr. Curtis." Anna turned and walked to the door but looked back before walking through, a grin spreading across her face. "In my admittedly brief experience, she can be a bit of a bumpy ride."

There was nothing for her to do on the Bridge once the diagnostics on the sensors were complete and so she'd retreated to the Main lab. The new equipment had all been installed, and there'd been some upgrades. Part of her was eager to leave the base, to get on with whatever was next for the crew, but the other part wished they could stay, wait for Captain Michaels. The problem was...no one knew how long a wait that might be. The refit and repairs were complete and they'd be pulling out very soon, according to Commander Ridire. Under the command of Captain Patrick McQueen. Anna picked up a long glass rod and poked a stubborn piece of moss down in the corner of the terrarium she was putting together. She was taking a piece of the beautiful arboretum from the base with her. Jon enters the lab carrying some sort of package. The expression on his face is obvious; he wants to talk. “Hello Anna, I was wondering if you had some free time to talk about the current situation. I want to make sure I’m not the only one who thinks that there’s something weird going on.” What he means by weird is of course the sudden change in command as well as the assigned patrol to the Neutral Zone. Anna smiled over her shoulder as Jon approached, but it faded slightly at his words. "Sure, I've got time-nothing but at the moment, and what do you mean, 'weird'?" She hooked her ankle around a stool and pulled it over next to her. "Go ahead, take a seat. I just want to get these plants in before they dry out." She looked from his face to the package he was carrying and then back, wondering what it was. He sets the package on a table then has a seat. “What I mean by weird is with everything that happened, we get our CO switched, and then get sent back to the Neutral Zone for patrol. Call me paranoid but I don’t like the situation. As for our replacement CO; his record is clean with plenty of years of service, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens when he is in command.” Jon's concern was clear in his expression and tone. She looked back into the terrarium, and reached in to continue arranging. She wanted to get the drainage right. The person who'd given her the samples had been very clear on the importance of drainage. "I've been thinking about it, too. Captain Michaels suffered that head injury during one of the battles and did it seem to you that he'd never quite come back from that?" She shot Jon a sideways glance and then turned her attention back to what she was working on. “You might have a point, but Captain Michaels knows this ship and crew very well. You’d be surprised how many times he proved his worth, regardless of what he suffered at that time.” Just by how Jon described the Captain, he had tones of great respect. “I’ll follow the new CO for now as long as he does his best to keep this crew safe.” He then looks at the plants. “What kind of project are you working on?” "I'm putting together a terrarium using mosses I was able to get samples of from that arboretum on the base I showed you." Unruffled by Jon's quick leap to the Captain's defense, Anna stepped back and crouched down so that her eyes were at counter level to see if things were laying right. "I wouldn't be at all surprised by anything Captain Michaels was able to do, Jon." Looking up from her lower vantage point, she met his azure blue gaze and smiled, gently reminding him, "You saw the logs from the alternate time reality. I watched both of you sacrifice yourself to make sure the Reaent didn't fall into Romulan hands." She stood and turned to face him, leaning one hip against the counter. "All I'm suggesting is that no doubt he's been subjected to a battery of tests and perhaps he's not fully recovered from the head injury he suffered." “You have a point; in any case I hope this change in command is temporary.” He has a slightly confused look on his face, “So I died in the alternate timeline. At least I was doing what I knew was right. Helping save lives at the risk of my own.” He watches Anna work on the plant, “So what do you think about the patrol assignment?” She was leaning over the clear aluminum tank, her hair falling forward to hide her expression, so Jon didn't see her smile in response to his remark. She had no doubt that he could always be found doing what he knew was right. She'd learned that much about him early on. "I think..." she began slowly, " That it might be one of two things." She stood up and flipping her hair back, turned only her head to look at him. "Either it's punishment for the waltz across Romulan space in a less than stealthy fashion or it's just what it appears to be--a routine assignment for a crew that's been through hell." “I hope it’s just routine; the majority of the crew went through enough as it is. I hope that morale will improve during that time.” "Morale is already dealt a blow with Michaels not returning," Anna answered matter-of-factly. "I only served the one mission under him, but I feel as the rest of the crew does--I miss him." Now satisfied that the terrarium had been given a proper start, Anna took the lid from the counter and set it on top. "I only caught a glimpse of Captain McQueen as he went in to meet with Commander Ridire, not enough to form any kind of impression, but at the staff meeting, Commander Ridire said he's served on ships of the line before. We probably don't have anything to worry about." Jon nods at Anna’s comment “I guess I should stop worrying so much.” He glances over at the package he brought in. "Well, then you wouldn't be you," she teased him, missing his glance to the table with the package on it. "OK, now then, I am going to send you the care and feeding instructions later on today, but you can take this back to your quarters now...oh wait! I almost forgot!" Muttering under her breath, Anna carefully slid the lid back on a vented box, and gently lifted a two-inch beetle with a shiny teal colored carapace out of the container. Opening the lid to the terrarium, she set the beetle down inside, and smiled fondly at it. "Isn't he gorgeous? He eats the rot and nourishes the plants. He's a Jupiter beetle. He's not venomous," she added reassuringly. Gazing upon the plants, “It’s quite lovely, thank you very much.” He smiled in a grateful manner. “I suppose I could show you what’s inside the package. Do you remember that time you were in sickbay?” Pleased that Jon liked it, Anna added, "I'm making one for Debbie and T'Kar also." And then she paused, puzzled for a moment. "Do you mean when I visited you after you were injured on the Bridge?" He shakes his head, a grin on his face; “I was referring to the time the crew was brought aboard from the escape pods. You said something about sharing some fudge, but I guess I missed that opportunity.” "Ahh...that's right." Anna smiled back, looking from Jon to the package and back again. "As a matter of fact, I never got any fudge. I settled for a replicated brownie and feeling sorry for myself for an hour." “Just a replicated brownie? That just won’t do.” Jon proceeds to open the package, which contains not only fudge but also a wide assortment of sweets and treats. “Just so you know, all this was made when I was still on the starbase. Help yourself.” "Jon, you're pure evil. I am powerless before my sweet tooth!" Anna dragged another stool over and let her fingers hover over the brightly colored pile for a moment before picking up a piece of soft caramel in hand rolled wax paper. "OK, ignore me while I experience a moment." Unwrapping the candy, Anna closed her eyes and bit into the caramel. "Oh five suns, but that is wonderful," she murmured. He smiles at Anna’s enjoyment “I’m glad you like it. I do have one question, why did you make the plants?” Still blissfully savoring the chewy caramel, Anna swallowed and sighed. "I have to have another one." Picking up another piece she slowly untwisted it from its wrapping as she answered him. "Debbie and I found the arboretum to be a refuge and you seemed to enjoy it also when I brought you there. And T'Kar left me a Vulcan harp and instructions for how to play it when we got back from the base. Obviously, she is an incurable optimist--I told her I was tone deaf, but it means a lot to me that she remembered that we talked about it on Ha'Vorante." Anna shrugged, a little shyly, adding, "I went looking for the caretaker of the arboretum and I found her. She let me have the moss plants and also gave me the beetles to round out the ecosystem. Now, we'll always have a piece of that place." Nodding with approval; “Our own little piece of heaven, that would definitely help with morale. That’s very thoughtful of you. As for those sweets; let’s just say you’re not the only person who can create something wonderful.” "Well, whoever you found on the base that made these, is an artiste." Having assuaged her need for caramel, Anna cleansed her palate with a piece of the fudge. "There's no way you're leaving all this candy here, Jon. I'll be found comatose, surrounded by wrappers." Raising his brow while smiling, “I didn’t find anyone.” He proceeds to sneak a piece of fudge, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t over-indulge.” She was actually surprised enough to pause before eating another piece. "Oh come on...are you telling me you made all this candy?" And then his last comment registered and she started to laugh. "You may have reflexes faster than the human eye can register Jon, but it'd be worth your life to try and get between me and the fudge if I've got my mind made up." “You don’t believe I made these?” He’s surprised that she doesn’t believe him. “What can I do to show you I can cook?” "It's not that I don't believe you--I'm just surprised is all. I just assumed you bought it on the base." Anna grinned and held up one hand. "And I know what happens to people who assume." She looked from him and to all the different kinds of candy. "Where the heck did you make it anyway?" “You know that place we ate at that one time? Well they had a kitchen and I asked for a favor.” "Thank you, Jon. It's a wonderfully thoughtful surprise." Anna smiled at him, as she leaned back on her stool, letting it tilt precariously against the counter. "I don't know about everyone else's morale but I'm sitting in the middle of a shiny rebuilt lab eating candy, hand made by my favorite security officer. At this moment in time, I'm not going to worry about the Romulan Neutral Zone." Jon smiles at Anna’s compliment. “I’m glad you feel better, I know I do.” Anna thought of how concerned he'd looked when he came into the lab and compared that to the expression on his face now. "I'm glad, Jon," she answered sincerely, but then her eyes sparkled as she deadpanned, "By the way, on the terrarium? Just in case it isn't all smooth sailing ahead? The base of the terrarium is fitted with a device that will lock it to whatever furniture you set it on." Anna sat forward, the stool coming back on all four legs with a thump. "I tried to Reaent-proof it." She was smiling but she meant it.

I told you there'd be funny hats!!! Happy Birthday, Sam :)

After a brief stay in sickbay Jon exited, feeling relieved that the procedure did not take as long as Dr. Matthews stated. It was no surprise, since Deb was pretty much the only doctor with experience in treating Zemuns. Anna had returned to Reaent on and off over the last few days to check in on how repairs were coming. Dr. Smith had asked her to take one of the new prototype tricorders to Medical to scan...his corpse. In Anna's opinion, she didn't see what that would prove-but she discounted nothing and sure didn't see what it could hurt. She was dropping by Reaent's Sickbay-the computer stated Dr. Matthews was there, to see if Debbie would allow the scans. She was about to walk through the doors when they opened and Jon walked out. "Hello, Jon!" She smiled the greeting and then looked past him into Medical. "Is everything all right?" “I was just getting a couple of things taken care of. I figured this would be the best time since things are slow and peaceful” At this time Jon is making direct eye contact with Anna to where she sees that both of Jon's eyes are now azure. Anna peered closer, noticing the eye color change. "What happened to your eye, Jon? The green one...did you decide you wanted two cybernetic eyes?" Then her smile faltered and her expression changed from mere curiosity to worry. "You said you took care of a couple of things... The eye is one." Deciding he should answer the easy question first, he said, “Several years ago, I had a heart attack. Luckily for me, only one of my hearts was affected, and had to be treated. I have two hearts, but due to their placement, it sounds like a single large heart. I requested a heart monitor as a precautionary measure to avoid any problems.” He pointed at an area near his comm badge. “As for your first question, I had the color permanently changed.” Anna realized they were blocking the corridor as a work crew moved by. She tugged Jon's sleeve, and moved down the corridor. "They're still crawling all over the ship." She pondered the heart attack comment, and then met his eyes, still getting used to the matched set. "I guess you have a sort of redundancy like Klingons do... I understand the heart monitor and hope it's just a precaution, but Jon...oh for crying out loud!" Anna flattened herself to the wall, next to Jon, as another pair of workers with an anti-grav sled came through, and looked at him sideways. "It's impossible to talk here." He raised his brow at Anna, unsure as to why she was upset. “I guess we could go somewhere else to talk so we don’t get in the way of the workers. Perhaps we could continue this conversation on the starbase or somewhere less crowded.” "Oh, I know just the place, and I've been meaning to show it to you!" Stepping back in to the middle of the corridor, Anna smiled with anticipation. 'You're going to be amazed. It's on deck 15 on the base." “Lead the way” he said with a smile, not sure as to where they were going. “I take it you‘ve been seeing quite a few good sights on the starbase?” The way he said it was obvious proof that he didn’t spend much time off the ship. "I've actually been staying on the base during the repairs. It's been nice to be off of Reaent--a good break. I've been exploring the base a bit." Anna tapped for the turbolift and turned to face Jon while they waited. "Haven't you been back since we had dinner on the Midway?" “Well we got supplies earlier and I was just checking to make sure everything was in order. I guess I felt a little restless and that I needed to get some work done. It seems I need to stop working for now and just relax.” Anna eyed the heart monitor as she stepped into the lift ahead of him and instructed it to go to the docking level. "That sounds like an excellent plan. This time spent at the base? Despite whatever the Captain is going through, we needed this break. It's not the same as going planetside and breathing in some real atmosphere and camping or something like that but it's allowed us to stretch our legs and catch our breath." “Good point, maybe wherever we’re going there would some interesting sights to take our minds off the repairs.” Jon noticed that Anna was looking at the monitor. “In case you’re wondering, when it happened it was a rare case. Not even I knew it could occur.” "Your physiology must be extraordinary for your hearts to function for more than two thousand years, generally without incident. A heart, even two hearts--they're just pumps. Did something trigger the heart attack?" Anna asked, as they stepped off the lift and started across the docking bay to the umbilical that joined Reaent to the base. “It just happened out of the blue; like I said-it was a rare occurrence. Since then, Dr. Matthews has been watching me like a Ferengi watches his latinum. Not saying I mind, but I guess I understand her concerns.” Anna grinned at the Ferengi analogy. "She's terrific, isn't she?" I worked with her during my emergency medical training and we've also talked on occasion. Reaent's very lucky in her CMO." Anna headed for the liftbank as soon as they crossed over to the base side, giving the crowd also waiting a curious look. It was nice to see so many civilians. “Not to change the subject completely, but where exactly are we going? It must be quite the sight to see.” "Well, keep in mind, Jon--it is just a star base and a Fed one at that. We're not going to be seeing anything overly exotic. Hmm, it's possible I've built this up too much and I will have to suffer seeing disappointment in your now perfectly matched set of azure eyes." Anna slapped the panel, hitting deck 15 as the lift doors slid back and the waiting crowd piled in. “That would have to be something we’ll have to wait and see on. By the way, I hope you’re not too upset with the sudden change. I know you were used to the other color.” "Here's our deck." Anna was somewhat ruthless as she cleared a path for herself and Jon, and actually used an elbow to get to the front of the lift before the doors closed. She shot him a triumphant looks as they arrived on the proper deck and smiling, she tucked her arm through his and turned him in the direction she wanted to go. "It's this way, and as for your green eye, now gone...well, it was the exact shade of peridot and that's rare. It's a favorite stone of mine but...azurite is also a gorgeous stone. It's semi-precious as well, but more difficult to work with." She leaned towards him, almost confidingly. "I guess I always looked to that one because I knew it was the real eye and not the construct." “It was a real eye, but it wasn’t my eye. Azure was the color I was born with until that fateful day my life changed. It is like staring into the serene waters of Ma’arrat, is what some Zemun scholars would say about those who possess azure eyes.” Certain emotions could be detected in his voice, a mixture of sadness and joy. Coming to a stop before a set of double doors, Anna let go of Jon's arm and paused before tripping the sensor that would open them. "You had a transplanted eye? No wait! That's got to be a long story...let's go inside first." Whatever had happened to his eyes, it still was affecting him strongly she thought, hearing the different emotions affecting him as his voice changed timbre. She took the extra step forward and the doorways slid open to reveal the arboretum of pine trees and ferns that she and Debbie had stumbled upon one day last week. She'd been back several times since. "Come on, let me show you this little slice of heaven." As Jon entered the arboretum he could not believe his eyes; the beauty of the plant life was certainly breathtaking. “Not even heaven would be a suitable name for such a magnificent place.” Delighted with his reaction, Anna laughed and replied, teasingly, "Jon, you have got to get off the ship more often. "The miracle of this place is the diversity packed into a relatively small area. You don't expect to find it--it really shouldn't be here." Having taken is arm again; Anna led him along the path that would end at the table where she and Debbie had talked. When they arrived at the table Jon said, “May I ask you something? Ever since we first met you’ve been a friend I can turn to, but I would like to know what you think of me.” Shyness and nervousness could be heard in his voice. Anna paused, her hand resting on the back of the chair she was pulling out. His question surprised her and she looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, aware of his change in tone and wanting to put him at ease. "I appreciate that you count me a friend, Jon. That means a lot to me; more than you can know." She stopped for a moment and then continued, speaking slowly, trying to get it right so he would understand. "My background is very insular and I was raised to never trust an outsider and that I could be certain that if I did it would end in betrayal." Anna shrugged, "Obviously, that's a very close minded and prejudiced way to think and behave, but it's not easy to dismiss what's drummed into you from birth." Smiling with some embarrassment, she finished, "I tell you that because when I say that I think of you as a friend, what I'm really saying is that I trust you and that's not easy for me." He smiled at the response. "Nothing is ever easy, but I’m glad you trust me as I trust you. I would never ask anything beyond that from you. Besides I know where you’re coming from; back when I ‘lost’ my eyes, I never trusted anyone up until I joined the Federation and that was a long time ago.” Maybe he did understand the trust issue. She hadn't felt like she explained it very well. "And now it's time for you to tell me how you ended up looking through someone else's green eye." Anna finally sat down, and watched Jon expectantly, wondering what the hell he meant by I would never ask anything beyond that from you. He said that like he was taking a vow or something. There were times she was more aware of the large age gap between them than others. This was one of those times. He bowed his head. “Very well, I shall tell you but you might not like it. Back when I was 214 years old a man whom I often called comrade or even brother-he betrayed me by selling out my entire squad to an enemy of the Alliance. I couldn’t stand the loss so we fought; during the fight he pinned me to the ground and cut out my eyes. Luckily for me, I studied blind fighting, so the battle was far from over. I managed to take one of his eyes in return but then I blacked out due to blood loss. When I came to, I had his eye for a left eye and a cybernetic for my right. The doctors at the time didn’t know my eye color since they were in a hurry to put it back in.” "Ah, no, you're right...I don't like hearing you were wide awake while some Judas cut your eyes out." Anna was horrified at what he'd suffered but she also wanted to know more. "Did you kill him? You managed to get one of his eyes, after having been blinded, but did you kill him?" This had all happened more than two thousand years ago, she thought with amazement; Jon had looked through the eye of his enemy far longer than he'd ever looked through his own." “He died a few years ago, back when I was labeled ‘M.I.A.’. At that time I didn’t care for revenge much less care about him, but at that time he wanted me gone because he knew I could stop him. Plus he remembered an old Zemun saying; ‘If you’re going to kill a Zemun, you better do it right the first time’. Although, I don’t believe in that saying, I felt that I was just lucky to be alive. We fought a second and final time and I killed him. He was jacked up on so much tech, he could've kill someone without wasting effort. He was a danger to all and he left me no choice in the end.” "It would have been enough reason for me to kill him that he took my eyes in the first place," Anna responded, thinking in this case it literally had been an eye for an eye. "This Alliance you've mentioned, does it still exist?" “Yes but they keep to themselves. They rarely venture outside our home territories in the Gamma Quadrant.” "It's hard to fathom, after all that, how you came to be on the Reaent," Anna quietly replied. "The ship is the beginning of my adventure, and I hope she takes a turn for the better, but for you...with everything you've seen and done, is it still fresh at all?" A smile could be seen on his face, "Everything changes constantly for me so there's hardly a dull moment. I appreciate you taking me here, I feel much better." "Jon," Anna returned his smile, "you're very welcome. I'm glad I've had the chance to share this with you."

This is proof that Vulcans are optimists at heart--because I am tone deaf. I shall, however, endeavor to learn. Thank you for your generosity, T'Kar :P

Starbase 1123 had a lot going for it, Anna thought to herself. It was clean, well appointed, and everything you'd expect a Federation installation to be. And it made her feel very homesick for Kilo Station in a way she hadn't been while at the Academy or on the Reaent. Kilo was bigger than 1123 and it was also much older and had a quality that was almost disreputable, an ineffable something that meant home to her. However, she'd discovered a common area on 1123 that was unusually beautiful, incredibly peaceful, and oddly empty. One of several arboretums on the station, the fern garden on Deck 15 was cool, damp and a little dark. There were actual trees, covered in moss, which Anna assumed was possible because they were conifers and had a rather shallow root system. They'd reached an impressive height and their branches were trimmed to within two and one half meters of the decking. Crowded in, on all sides of the narrow path that wound through were fern plants of all sizes and types. She'd never seen so much diversity in such a contained area. The cool humidity felt wonderful on her skin and the fresh, earthy smell of damp soil and plants was, in her opinion, more intoxicating than the rarest perfume. This little piece of forest was an oasis of calm and it was gratitude she felt as she sat down at a small table placed just outside the reach of dripping branches. She set the PADD she carried with her on the table, content for the moment to just sit and enjoy the soft breeze which stirred the plants and caused the pine branches to sway, water droplets cascading down, sounding like a gentle rain. Leaning back, she closed her eyes, and as was so often the case when she did that these days, her thoughts went directly back to the alternate reality episode. Back to being dropped out of the wormhole into the Beta Quadrant and the subsequent events that culminated in those last tense minutes in the life pods, sure that she, JJ and Commander Swan were going to be killed as a result of collateral damage from the fight between the Akiras and the Romulans. She tended to skim quickly over the explosion on the Bridge and the terrible injuries suffered by the Captain, Brian and Wim. She didn't dwell on the brief minutes spent on the Romulan ship or Wim's terrible swift death at Romulan hands, although for some reason she dreamed of that ship. It was a horrible dream. No, she lingered on their time in the life pods after the Romulans sent them back, knowing they had only minutes of life left. She could still feel the terrible sorrow and debilitating fear, replaced by an almost despairing hope as the Akiras arrived too late to save Reaent and most of the crew, and then, swamping all else, the unmitigated joy at discovering that somehow, someway, there had been a rewind and everything thought destroyed was whole again. She doubted she would ever feel that particular euphoria again, and was sure she never wanted to. You had to fall very far down to be pulled so far up. The two weeks they'd just spent coming back through Romulan space and crossing the neutral zone had served to give her some perspective, if no real answers to the whys and wherefores of the incident. Temporal hiccup, subspace fracture, cosmic random act, she didn't know. Theories were exciting things. Proving them, finding the answers, clutching proof, real-to-God's-honest-proof, that was something else again. There would be computer simulations run; the drone retrieved on their first trip through the wormhole would no doubt be seized by Starfleet's Engineering department as part of the investigation and exhaustively analyzed. Maybe that would reveal some hard-core answers; probably it would be classified and the tech would be reverse engineered and it could be that one day, Starfleet would be able to open a backdoor on command. It wasn't really a comforting thought. Yes, the two weeks spent coming to 1123 had given her some perspective. She didn't understand why Reaent had been sent alone to find the Proxima and she didn't understand why Captain Michaels had been relieved of command. Her first posting out of the Academy was a mission that had resulted in more than two hundred crew deaths. It was not what she'd envisioned when she turned her back on her family and her place in their society to study and work to be part of something bigger and better, something legitimate and true. She was confused and more than a little heartsick. Debbie wasn't sure how long she'd been wandering around the forest. She knew she'd left the ship over an hour ago. She had to get away. Aidan was knee deep in repair orders and heaven knew what else so she was on her own. In a way, she was glad. Her husband had been extremely supportive but there was no way he could understand the trauma she and the other 'survivors' experienced. Her plans to organize a support group were well underway. She'd requested a psychiatric team to meet the ship and one was in route. Their presence would go a long way to help the 'survivors' deal with the aftermath of their trauma. In the meantime, the 'survivors' had to depend on each other for support. Deb had a husband to lean on. She wasn't the only one who had a spouse or significant other to help but in most cases, the 'survivors' were single and unattached. Even with the assistance of a loved one, the trauma continued to permeate the thoughts and behaviors of those who lived through the Reaent's destruction. For Deb, there were good days and bad days. She used work as a tonic...a way to distract her from the memories of what happened. But today, even that wasn't enough. So she'd left the ship to wander the expanses of Starbase 1123 and somehow ended up in an arboretum. This one was huge and somewhat unique. There were well-established trees, primarily pines of varied species and a colossal selection of ferns, most of which she'd never seen before. The temperature in the arboretum was cool and a little damp. There was even a slight breeze rustling the low hanging branches of the pines and tall delicate leaves of the graceful ferns. It was delightful and it was real...not some holographic reproduction. Deb wandered along the winding paths, stopping frequently to examine a plant more closely. She was on her knees studying a small and seemingly fragile fern when she heard something just around a bend in the walkway. As she stood up, she saw a young woman sit down at a table tucked under a mammoth conifer. She watched silently as Anna O'Halloran leaned back and closed her eyes. Deb didn't have to wonder why Anna was here and for a moment, she considered quietly retreating down the path so as to grant the science officer her privacy. But that thought was fleeting at best. Instead of leaving, Deb slowly approached her fellow survivor making just enough noise to alert Anna that someone was coming. Maybe Ms. O'Halloran needed to talk as much as Debbie did. Anna heard steps on the path and turned her head, ready to see a stranger, some denizen of the station whom she would exchange a polite greeting with and then wish them a pleasant time of it before leaving. With real pleasure, she saw Debbie Matthews approaching. Not a stranger, Anna thought, a wide smile lighting her expression. Someone in the same unique position she was, someone who'd been given what felt like a second chance and all of the baggage that came with it. "Hello, Debbie," Anna greeted her warmly, adding, "It's amazing to find this here, isn't it?" "It certainly is," replied Deb, slipping into one of the chairs at the table. "Do you mind if I join you?" Even if she did, it was too late. The CMO was already seated. But from Anna's expression, Deb was confident the Lieutenant was pleased to see her. "I never expected to find an arboretum like this on a starbase. I'm a little curious who the designer was?" "I've been wondering about that, too," Anna answered, her gaze looking past Debbie to once again take in what really looked like a forest before coming back to rest on the other woman's face. "Clearly a labor of love. I've never seen so many different species of ferns growing together like this. The phylum pterophyta is a favorite of mine and featured heavily in my dissertation." "I have no idea which fern is phylum pterophyta," laughed Deb. "But I know they're beautiful...so graceful and delicate." She glanced around the small forest. "This place is so quiet and peaceful...so different from the hectic pace on the ship. It's nice to find refuge from the hustle and bustle." Returning her attention to Anna, Deb shrugged slightly. "There is a psychiatric team on the way. Maybe I'll ask them to hold their sessions here. This is certainly more relaxing than a conference room or Sickbay." "All ferns are phylum pterophyta," Anna smiled, while nodding her head, agreeing with Debbie's assessment of the Arboretum as a quiet and peaceful oasis. She caught herself mid-nod, however, and looked back at Debbie blankly, asking, "Did you call for a psychiatric team or is Starfleet sending one because of how the mission turned out?" "I requested a team," replied Deb softly. "They probably would have sent one anyway but I wasn't sure so I put in a requisition as soon as we arrived at the starbase." She smiled ruefully and shook her head. "There should be at least two counselors on the team. I'm pretty sure we'll be able to keep both of them occupied." Debbie's good mood seemed to stem from the coming arrival of this psychiatric team and Anna had to agree that no doubt the team might definitely have its hands full if even a small percentage of the crew that had survived utilized their services and she said so out loud, suddenly seeing Wade Knight's face in her mind's eye. He'd been suffering from exhaustion but was it more than that? She heard Jon's stark tone when he'd asked her to change the subject when she'd asked him if the mission had been worth it. Maybe it would do him good to talk to someone trained to handle this kind of thing. God knew, she wasn't. Debbie's smile broadened as she met Anna's gaze. "If you don't mind me asking, how are you holding up?" Anna smiled, more in response to Debbie's obvious pleasure than any feeling of happiness or anticipation of her own, wondering how best to answer her question and decided that, as usual, the truth was the best response. It was never a good idea to lie to a medical officer and she also liked to think she that she and Debbie were becoming friends. "I'd be doing better if I understood why the Captain was relieved of duty, and I suppose even more so if I could be assured that we were sent after Proxima with any real hope that we could succeed. I was talking with someone recently and their opinion is that two hundred deaths is not worth the discovery of what the Romulans were up to; not worth finding out that they could create an artificial wormhole." Anna leaned towards Debbie, unconsciously clenching her fingers around the PADD she lifted off the table so her hands would have something to do. "I find I have to disagree, that I need to disagree even though I respect his opinion. It can't have been for nothing; their deaths must stand for something-their sacrifice needs to have been worthwhile or..." She swallowed thickly and finished, her voice dropping, losing the vehemence, "...I made a mistake in turning my back on everything to be here." Anna broke eye contact with Debbie and looked at the PADD. She'd been trying to write to her father and couldn't find the words just yet. She didn't want to feel so lost and mistaken when she wrote it. She wanted to be proud and confident. She wanted to convey that she missed him and the clan but that she didn't long for the safety of Kilo. She didn't think she'd be able to write him for quite some time. She looked back to Debbie, and this time her voice was quiet but rueful when she spoke. "I’m also dreaming of the Romulan ship and it wakes me up in a cold sweat; every night so far, with my heart beating double-time." Anna's remarks were not unexpected. Deb was pleased she felt comfortable enough to be so honest and open about her feelings. She quietly wondered whom it was Anna had spoken to about the price they paid to find out the Romulans had the Proxima and a wormhole to boot. Whoever it was, she said she respected 'his' opinion. That led Deb to believe it might have been Jon Shamor. If so, what else did he say? Jon was with the Reaent back then. Had he linked their latest 'suicide mission' to that dreadful incident so many years ago? Anna knew nothing about that and Deb wasn't inclined to bring it up. She tried to repress her own feelings of paranoia and focus instead on what Anna said. "I don't know why the Captain was relieved of command," she said, fighting to keep her tone as casual as possible. "These types of inquiries often occur after a mission gone wrong." She smiled sadly. "And this mission certainly falls into that category." Deb leaned forward slightly, leaning her elbows on the table. "We may never know the ultimate value of our sacrifice." She lowered her voice as she continued. "It appears the Romulans lacked the expertise to properly control their wormhole. But given time, they would have perfected their technology. The fact we uncovered what they were up to may have ultimately saved millions of lives." She shrugged slightly, the rueful smile returning. "Like I said, we may never know...probably won't. But you should have no doubt that we accomplished our mission...as impossible as it was...we made a difference...a big difference." It was what she wanted to hear, of course, but the reason she smiled gratefully at Debbie was the sincerity in the other woman's voice. Debbie believed it! The Chief Medical Officer, the person charged with the health and wellbeing of the ship, felt the mission, which cost two hundred members of the crew their lives, had been a necessary evil. Reaent and her crew had paid cruelly, and many members of the crew were still paying the price but in the end, maybe the sacrifice of the two hundred was justified. "I hope so, Debbie. I so hope so." And she did. But she could still hear Jon's voice saying, 'It's never worth it.'

Starbase 1123 had an extensive market area, but Anna walked through it without taking too much time to explore it in detail. They would be here for a few days she supposed. From the way Reaent looked, it could even be weeks, although she would never sell Starfleet Engineers short. Their reputation as miracle workers was well earned. The gist of it was, she didn't know how long they would be on this base and she wasn't sure how she was going to fill the time. Walking into one of observation lounges, located just off the Midway, she glanced around and then paused, smiling as she recognized Jon Shamor. He had his back to her, he was looking out the windows, but she recognized his stance and the ponytail. She walked purposefully towards him but then faltered as she drew near. Maybe he didn't want to be interrupted. Jon turned to see Anna; he must have suspected someone was approaching him. "Enjoying shore leave?" The way he asked seemed to indicate it was rehearsed. She looked searchingly at him for a moment-he seemed a little...off, and then nodded slowly. "I suppose I am, if only because we're off the Reaent for right now and I desperately wanted to be off of her." "That's understandable. Too bad I couldn't borrow a fighter and fly around even if it is for a little while. Find anything interesting on this station?" She guessed flying was one of the things he used as a coping mechanism. He'd mentioned to her that there were a few ways he dealt with terrible stress and she was sorry he didn't have that available to him right now. "I haven't been over too much of the base, but I just walked the length of the Midway without really stopping and exploring." Anna turned her back on the cold vista outside the window and turned to face the warmly lit lounge. "How long do you think we'll be here?" He shook his head "I'm not sure. It depends on how long the Captain's hearing is as well as how long it will take for repairs." "The Captain's hearing," Anna stated and then stopped. "Do you know specifically what the hearing is in regard to?" "The situation we went through. More specifically the other Reaent. I did everything I could to help but I'm not sure if it's enough. I'm hoping for the best case scenario which is he is cleared of the charges." "How can there be charges stemming from the alternate reality event? We have proof it happened but then it's also clear that it doesn't matter--time somehow reconverged." Anna crossed her arms over her chest and let the window take her weight as she leaned back against it, her expression one of frustration as she met Jon's calm gaze. "I'm sure your report was incredibly detailed, but it makes no sense that there would be any kind of disciplinary hearing for it. Am I missing something?" "The Admiralty apparently wants a scapegoat. In my opinion, the Reaent should have never been picked since it's not designed for stealth. They were better off borrowing the Defiant or rigging up a stealth fleet to investigate. This so-called hearing is a waste of time!" The frustration he was feeling was clear as he voiced his opinion to Anna. "If the Reaent wasn't an appropriate choice for this mission, why would she have been chosen? There are more than two hundred people dead; that must be the focus." Jon's frustration was palpable and Anna wished she could make him feel better but she'd just been struck by a new thought, and it wasn't a comfortable one. "Jon, if what you're saying is true, does it sound like perhaps Reaent wasn't supposed to come back from this mission?" He lowered the volume of his voice to where only Anna would be able to hear. "I don't know if that is or is not the case. All I know is that the Reaent shouldn't have gone. Please keep this kind of talk quiet, you never know who could be listening. I'm not telling you this to scare, but to protect you." He at least thought it was possible that what she'd asked was true. That in and of itself was rather terrifying. "I don't know who I'd say it to anyway. Everyone's been through so much already and then having the Captain relieved of command..." Anna looked up and asked the question that she'd already asked herself countless times. "Do you think it was worth it? Their deaths, Jon. In the end, do you think it was worth it?" "It never is worth it. Not to sound awkward but perhaps we could talk about something else." The look on his face showed that he didn't want to remain on this topic. Feeling stricken, Anna cast about for something else to say. The topic was painful and she felt awful that in trying to make herself feel better, she'd made him feel worse. He really did believe that the heinous loss of life experienced by Reaent's crew was not mitigated by the discovery that the Romulans could create an artificial wormhole. "Jon, I'm sorry," she replied quietly. "If you're not able to take a fighter out, maybe you'd like to see a little of what the base has to offer. Have you already eaten dinner?" Shaking his head, "No, I haven't, been preoccupied so I couldn't find time to do so. What would you recommend?" She tucked her arm through his and drew him away from the bank of windows. "I say we take a walk and stop wherever it smells good enough to eat." "Sounds like a plan. I bet we'll find something pretty quick." "Jon, we should walk the length at least once and then double back and choose. If we stop at the first place, we might be missing something wonderful. I mean why settle for Bolian bobs or something like that when there might be something fascinating and mysterious and rare just around the corner?" Anna patted his arm as they left the Observation Lounge. "Stick with me, and I'll show you how this is done. My family travels for a living and granted, they avoid Fed installations like the plague but these Midway places are generally civilian run. I promise you we'll get our credit's worth." He smiles "I'll take your word for it. No offense, but did your family have something against the Federation to where they wouldn't go to Fed Stations?" Anna shot him a sideways look and then returned to looking at the shops and restaurants they were passing. "I'm not offended. My family just finds it easier to run their business without any Federation supervision." Anna paused for a moment and sniffed the air. "Bajoran. Smells good, let's keep this one in mind as a possibility." Jon looked around as they walked, taking in the sights. "So your family is independent. A bold risk but not without reward I guess. By the way, I never had the chance to properly thank you." Anna chuckled at his comment, thinking it was actually quite true. "Yes, they're very independent, and what do you mean, you haven't thanked me? What did I do?" "You were you. Compassionate, caring, and a good friend. For that, I thank you." He pointed out a restaurant. "How about that place? Smells like they have some good food there." She immediately felt much better. She hadn't made him feel worse back in the lounge, "Well, you're welcome, and thank you for telling me. I thought maybe I had inadvertently made things worse, and I appreciate you setting my mind at ease." She turned to look at the restaurant and she noted that the tables were mostly full, so it probably was good, it looked like they were decently staffed so service was probably better than average and...they had a bakery! With enthusiasm, she turned to Jon, "Excellent choice, Mr. Shamor. I think I see pastry in our future." Jon spotted an empty table. "Here's an open table; let's have a seat and rest our legs." Anna followed him to the table, casting one longing glance back at the pastry case, before seating herself so that her back was to it, vowing to take a little something from it back to her temporary quarters here on 1123. "Now that we're on base, will you take the opportunity to contact your family?" She tapped the table and brought up the menu, peering at Jon through the holo display. Looking down at the table "I'm afraid that won't happen. You see I never knew my family. I was an orphan because my family died in a quake when I was but a year old. I was raised by the Order of Knights so I never had a chance to take in a father's wisdom or even appreciate a mother's love." She seemed to have a real talent for putting her foot into it tonight, Anna thought with dismay. "Oh, Jon. I am so sorry. What an awful lonely thing for you. The Knights...were there other children raised by them?" "Yes...the Order often takes in orphans and gives them a future. It gave me direction as well as a sense of honor, respect, and integrity. Of course the Order has stood for the longest time." A sense of pride clearly detectable in his voice as he talked about the Order. "I suppose they have stood for many thousands of years?" Anna asked, thinking that since Jon himself was over two thousand years old, the math was obvious as was his pride on the Order. He nodded, "Though things got shaky every once in a while, the Order stood strong even during the darkest of times. Although the one thing I desire more than protecting those I care about is spending time with those I care about." "How long has it been since you were able to spend any time with the Order?" She had no idea what the Order actually was and determined that she would ask, given the opportunity. Jon simply smiled. "I don't spend much time because I have made my peace with them. My place is with the Federation now and they respect my decision." "You made your peace with them?" Anna looked questioningly across the table at him. "Does that mean you were once at war?" "Not at all. It means that I don't cling to them for support. I needed to prove that I could survive alone, which I have. Although with all the traveling I've done my only regret was that I was alone." Anna looked at him, a frown of concern creasing her forehead. "Survival is different than living and I guess you realized that because you then joined Starfleet. The very definition of what we do is teamwork. How many years were you alone? You've been alive for so long; did you ever bond, have a family?" "To answer your first question-too many to count. As for the other I've always been alone, never had a chance to settle down. Plus most of those I cared about, namely friends, were non-Zemuns which meant I outlived them." That had occurred to her before; his life span was so much longer than everyone else's that he always outlived his friends; he would outlive any partner, too. "I don't know what to say, Jon. I can't imagine what it must be like to have so much time and to be forced to endure some of the sorrow that would go hand in hand with it. And yet...you also have the luxury of time. You've seen and done things that no one could experience in a normal human life span." "Time is only a luxury when you share it and I would rather be happy than live such a long existence without companionship." "I hope you find that happiness, Jon. After so much time, you deserve it."

It had been more than 48 hours since she and the other 'survivors' had been picked up in the life pods. She'd viewed the sensor logs several times since then and had finally reached the place where she could watch them if not completely dispassionately, then at least with equanimity. She stepped into the turbolift, speaking as the doors closed in front of her. "Main Engineering." She was meeting with Wade Knight to go over something that seemed very obvious by itself but still offered no real solution to the disappearance of the survivors from their work stations and their subsequent reappearance in the life pods, surrounded by space junk that had once been the Reaent. Anna exited the lift and walked into Main Engineering, pausing for a moment, looking around until she spotted Wade sitting at a console, head resting in his hands. She hesitated a moment before she walked to stand beside his chair, saying quietly, "Hello, Wade. Did you take a look at the time stamps?" Wade looked from cradling his head in his hands, looking exhausted with the dark rings under his eyes, his blonde hair still unkempt. The viewer in front of him was displaying the long list of work orders, which were still coming in from all over the ship. He shook his head and placed a hand over his ear, frowning a bit before speaking up. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. What did you say?" Anna frowned as she got a good look at his face. He looked awful, and why hadn't he heard her? If she were standing any closer, she'd be sitting in his lap. "Mr. Knight...Wade..." They'd traded comms when stuck out in those life pods, so sure that the Romulans were going to kill them and then equally sure that they might end up as collateral damage as the Akiras had swooped in to decimate the Romulan ships. As far as she was concerned those were damn good circumstances for putting you on a first name basis with someone. "...is something wrong with your hearing? Are you all right?" Shaking his head again he managed a slight smile. He was made sterner stuff than this, he thought. He raised his shoulders and nodded. "Aye, Lieutenant. I'm quite all right, just a little tinnitus is all. What's on your mind?" "It's Anna, Wade," she replied tapping his shoulder, her smile fading as she once again took in how exhausted his eyes looked. "Did you forget we had an appointment--I asked you to take a look at the logs retrieved from the wreckage...?" Anna's voice trailed off as she watched him look back at her blankly. It took him a few moments to realize the time, and he returned her look sheepishly. "Ahh, that's right. My apologies, Lieu..ahh..Anna. I have them here." Swiveling in his chair he turned his attention to the screen and pulled up the log they recovered from wreckage of what once was the Reaent. He hadn't put much though into what had happened, mostly because he didn't want to. This was the stuff to baffle philosophers. "It's all right. The past few days have been...strange, and I know that Engineering was already swamped before that." She took the seat next to his console and swiveled so she could see his screen. "I apologize in advance for taking up your valuable time, but with what happened, I've started to have a feeling that possibly it was something about the ship itself, and by that, I mean the ship that was destroyed, that somehow the orientation of the crew upon her, might have contributed to who experienced her destruction and who experienced seeing the crew just up and disappear." Anna leaned back and looked at him enquiringly, "Did you have a chance to look at them yet?" Scratching the back of his head, a slight grin played across his lips. "My valuable to time, you say?" He chuckled, his features becoming less harsh. "It's funny that you should say that..." He trailed off, and his grin was replaced by a worried frown. "I've looked over them. I've been comparing them with the logs on this Reaent and I think I've come up with where the...anomaly took place." Pressing his finger against a symbol on his screen, the two logs were displayed side by side. Anna beamed at him, her entire face lighting up, before she turned to look at the logs on display. "You did see it." She leaned forward, glancing from one log to the other, noting the exact place coordinates in each and yet---the time stamps were different. "Some of us got to the Beta Quadrant just a little bit earlier than the others, and it cost them dearly." He nodded, pleased to see that she was pleased. "Exactly. I also pulled up the logs from some of the escape pods. Take a look at this," he pointed at the time stamps on the log from the recovered recorder and those from the escape pods. "The log from the destroyed Reaent stopped recording at seven-hundred hours, five minutes, and forty-two seconds." His finger moved to indicate the time stamps on the escape pod logs. "However, the log I received from the pod that you were in after the Reaent was destroyed indicates that the Reaent was destroyed two minutes and forty seconds later. The sensors on my pod said it was destroyed three minutes and three seconds after. Now I'm no scientist, and I reserve conjecture for more intelligent men than myself, but it would seem to me that the Reaent was affected by some sort of temporal...hiccup. Possibly from the wormhole?" "Yes, that seems very clear, however..." Anna's smile was quickly replaced with a scowl as she contemplated the screen and then turned her seat to face Wade's. "The wormhole is probably the culprit--it's an artificial construct that we don't understand very well, and the original tech that created it is not even Romulan in origin according to Jon Shamor. But the thing is...what kind of temporal anomaly is it? There were definite signs of a subspace weakness in that area in the Beta Quadrant, the last time we were there. It could have resulted in a subspace fracture that might have led to a temporal event and in so doing, the resulting explosion of the Reaent and a Warbird nailed by one of our doomed fighters could have resealed it and left the life pods ahead by two minutes and forty seconds, but that's a lot of 'could haves' for me and that's just my first idea...and actually the best of the bunch. And it doesn't explain why only some of us experienced it." Turning to face Annabelle, he tapped the surface of the pool table, his features displaying his thoughtfulness. "That's what's bothering me," he confessed, but his voice trailed off as an Ensign passed them by, whistling to himself. "Doppler...," he whispered. Anna looked at the report he'd put together noticing the time discrepancies were greater the further the life pod had been from the doomed Reaent. "I missed that, Wade." She turned back to him, "Doppler. You're thinking that the anomaly was a series of temporal waves?" Wade nodded slowly. "Precisely. As the waves get farther away from their source they become fainter, creating a distortion," he explained with a speculative frown. He paused for a moment, placing his hand over his ear once more and shaking his head vigorously. "Ahh.. If such a wave were also produced on the other side of the wormhole, it could explain how a second Reaent may have existed simultaneously in that location, as it had before it entered." Clearly his tinnitus was really bothering him and Anna wondered if exhaustion played a part. "Well, it's a good theory and it beats the heck out of a causality loop, a temporal inversion or even a temporal explosion. None of those seem to fit the bill. I hate temporal mechanics, really, I do." Anna swiveled her chair completely around so she couldn't see the dratted logs anymore and could stretch her legs out and cross them at the ankles. "But still...none of this addresses how the distortion or whatever it was played leap frog through the ship and dropped certain crewpersons, you and I among them, down a temporal rabbit hole." "I believe that it does," he explained, shaking his head. Since we were furthest away from the Reaent when the wave hit, we were least affected by the temporal distortion, and if we are dealing with causality here...ahh... I don't know." He looked down at his feet, a sheepish look on his face. "I'm just a structural specialist.." he said wearily, his features becoming more tired. "You're not a "just" anything, and you're exhausted. I'm not even going to ask you when you slept last, but the thing is, we disappeared off this ship right in front of the rest of the crew and we experienced something I hope we never have to go through again." Anna thought for a second, and realized that based on her experiences since coming aboard at Risa, that was probably a faint hope at best. "I simply don't know what the explanation for the random, if it was random, and not the result of factors we don't yet understand, for how only certain individuals experienced it. I think the change in time distortion of the life pods is the natural result of the temporal anomaly but not the reason for why we were selected." Anna leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes for a moment. "I was shocked to hear that our Captain has been relieved of his command pending an investigation." Smiling softly, he again nodded in agreement. "You're absolutely right. There is something here that we are missing." He leaned back on his stool, tapping his chin. After a few moments, the second part of her statement sunk in and he sat up in surprise. "The Captain has been relieved?" She opened her eyes and turned her head, seeing his surprised look. "Yes, Wade, he has. I only have the bare bones of it but It's pending an investigation into this past mission, which, granted I don't know what the details are, and nor am I likely to, but considering this ship and crew kept the Romulans from straying too far into the Gamma Quadrant and called for the task force that came to the rescue, you'd think they'd be pinning a medal on his chest." Anna shifted in the chair and pulled her legs up under her. "Commander Ridire has been put in charge for now." Anna could still see the Bridge recording showing Michaels horribly injured and still giving commands in between screams, calling for evacuation; to abandon ship. Giving the self-destruct sequence when he shouldn't even have been conscious. She wondered what the focus of the investigation was. Wade let out an exasperated sigh and wondered to himself about the occurrences of the past few weeks. He looked up at Anna and shook his head, words escaping him; his eyes alight with what would seem ferocity if his face were not so otherwise expressionless. "I suppose I am thankful that we're all at least still alive." "Yes, we are. That's one thing each one of us who made it to those life pods can definitely appreciate. We are still alive and those we thought for sure had perished, never went through any of it. We definitely have a lot to be grateful for." And things had a way of working out for the best, Anna thought to herself. The experiences of the past few days could certainly serve to illustrate that.

Shamor and Anna entered the cargo bay to examine the logs from the buoy that was retrieved. From one perspective it was viewing something that might not make sense but from the other it would reopen old wounds from events past. Anna walked past Jon to stare at the buoy. She didn't want to see what was contained within but she felt compelled to do so. The most horrific events of her life had magically been made unreal, a do-over of cosmic proportions and she needed to see that it really had happened, every wretchedly awful minute of it. She didn't doubt her sanity--JJ, Debbie, Merina and T'Kar--they all could vouch for the different timeline. At the most, she hoped for an explanation, at the very least, she would again be able to experience the sheer joy that nothing recorded beyond a certain point was anything more than a terrible anomaly. In this case, a scientific name for nightmare. After briefly examining the buoy, "Are you sure you want to view the logs? There might be something in them that you don't want to see." "Jon, I can pretty much guarantee that there is nothing in the logs that I want to see but I definitely need to see them." She stiffened her spine and gave him a curt nod, appreciating his sensitivity. "Let's just get it over with." He stepped over to a console and began accessing the logs, pulling up the most recent ones to discover what happened. "I hope we can find what we need. The current situation is messed up as it as." She walked to his side and stood at his shoulder, watching the view screen, steeling herself while answering quietly, "From what I understand, the divergence seems to have occurred after Reaent was deposited into the Beta Quadrant. At that point, I think the crew that experienced Reaent's destruction just disappeared from wherever they happened to be, but in their reality, experienced nothing like that and lived that next half hour or so as a definite reality." Pointing at the gravitational distortion, "What about this, it seems that the Reaent in its condition was unable to escape that gravity field. That might be a factor as well." Rubbing his chin, "But I doubt the Romulans had a full grasp as to the kind of technology they possessed." "Yes, and I remember our encountering that and the subsequent entering of Romulan space." Anna tilted her head and reaching forward, tapped the screen to take another look at the sensor log of the gravitational field. "The wormhole had formed to 100% at this point and then we were pulled through." She slanted Jon a sideways look, "Odd how the Romulans were able to open a wormhole right in front of us. Are you a great believer in coincidence, Jon?" "True coincidences are rare. It is possible the Romulans calculated the trajectory then laid a trap." "For what purpose? Revenge because we laid those mines and delayed them for a month or so?" Anna tapped the screen so that a view of the Bridge from behind the command seating was visible. "Here's where the computers have restarted on their own and the proximity alerts went off. I saw Proxima right away," she added softly. "Then the three Warbirds. Right in front of us." Thinking for a moment, he said, "Maybe it wasn't revenge. Perhaps it was to silence the witness. The Proxima was in Romulan possession and couldn't let anyone get away with its secrets." "We never got close enough to Proxima to do more than blow up the asteroid shell around her, Jon. The Romulans engaged us in the Gamma Quadrant and then Excalibur came to our rescue. They knew we'd already had Federation contact. Any secrets we were carrying would ostensibly have already been spilled." Still looking at the screen as Reaent begins to take the horrible pounding that crippled and then killed her, Anna quietly dictated the death throes being reenacted in front of her. "Two more Warbirds decloaked and the alarms started going off as hull breaches became imminent. The alarms were never silent after that." "No win scenario" Shamor say quietly. "There appears to have been no way out. What about this group of 20 ships just before sensors went offline? Was that our re-enforcements?" Anna watched the screen, not having realized how chaotic it was. She'd been so focused on her station and the viewscreen. "No way out," she repeated and then turned to look at Jon. "It must have been the reinforcements. There were 20 ships on sensors but we couldn't get a clear reading because the Navigational Deflector blew up when the sensor array was hit." She looked back to the screen in time to see the Bridge erupt with an explosion. "This is where the Captain, Dr. Smith and Wim were burned so terribly." Anna swallowed dryly, blinking back tears. "We found out later, in the life pods... She cleared her throat, willing herself not to cry. "It's a little later that we found out that the ships were Akiras. So beautiful... but so late. Too late, we thought." She watched the screen as Jon rushed to the Captain's side to help him as she reached for Brian, mercifully somewhat obscured by the smoke. Jon remained silent as he watched the rest of the footage. All of what was shown was different from what happened but he appeared to have an open mind. "I think I've got enough information to work with." He then copied the logs to a nearby PADD. Anna brushed away a couple of tears and listened as the computer started counting down the thirty seconds that it never completed. The screen went dark as the entire ship exploded, all of the damage she'd suffered finally taking the ultimate toll, and the final picture before the playback died was of Jon, still standing with the Captain. She turned away, knowing there was so much more material that had to be examined. "The logs seem complete, don't they? That's very good." "They're as complete as the can be given the situation. I'll make sure Commander Ridire gets it." Stepping away from the console, "I can barely put what I saw to words. It happened so fast." "I suppose it didn't take very long, but at the time..." She stood a little straighter and turned away. "I think that I'll talk with someone in Engineering, maybe we can come up with some kind of working theory." Nodding, "Sounds like a plan. Is there anything else I can help you with?" "No, nothing I can think of but I want to say thank you for watching it with me." She looked him in the eye, focusing as always on the real green one and not the azure artificial construct. "I know it's not how it all turned out and I am so grateful that it isn't what the end result turned out to be, but for me, it happened and it's going to take a little while to be comfortable with it. I've never come so close to dying, Jon and I've never seen people I care about die in front of me like that. I don't have enough experience to roll with it and continue on like nothing happened. I have to adjust in my own way." "I understand. That's why I have a few activities, which act as a coping mechanism, which have worked well for me. I've seen death on more than one occasion and I'll never get completely used to it." "That's good. That you're not used to it, I mean. I don't think you should be able to get used to it." Anna answered him solemnly and then smiled faintly, adding, "And as for coping, well... My plan for the evening is a hot toddy with double the usual one shot of whiskey and then bed. Maybe tomorrow you can tell me what works for you." Picking up the PADD and saying with a smile, "Very well then, I'll go drop this off to the Commander. Take care." "You too, Jon," she answered returning the smile, and waiting till he'd left and the doors had closed behind him before she turned back to the console. With a deep breath, she started reviewing the sensor log again.

Since they'd crossed the border into the Neutral Zone, (and it felt like months ago) she'd wondered if it would end with them facing Romulan disruptors and so it had. For some of them. For just a few heartstoppingly horrible minutes wherein she and JJ had watched the vaporization of Wim Murray, Anna had been sure that they would be next. But then the Romulans had transported them back to the life pods (ironic term) to make their murders less obvious or something along those lines that didn't make that much sense to her. It all happened so fast. But it had happened. She sat on a biobed, legs dangling, and uniform filthy with dirt and Brian Smith's blood and charred skin. Dr. Brian Smith, whose body was sitting in a life pod in a cargo hold and who also happened to be up on the Bridge according to Wim Murray. The same Wim Murray that she had watched disintegrate before her eyes. She didn't think any voice had ever sounded so wonderful to her as Wim's had. He'd confirmed that Brian, Jon, the Captain and Commander Ridire...they were all still alive. And Reaent was whole. Well, as whole as she'd been before the most recent events. Or non-events. Maybe she would still be able to limp to Camelot Station. Now that she thought about it, Anna wasn't even sure what quadrant they were in. Having been told that she passed her exam, she wasn't sure if it meant she was physically fine or if it meant she was confirmed as being Annabelle Jane O'Halloran. She was pathetically naïve sometimes. It had been a shock that had barely registered through the euphoria she was feeling after they'd been tractored aboard to hear Commander Ridire say that all weapons should be left in the cargo hold. He'd been looking directly at Commander Swan who was still wearing her sidearm and it was at that point that Anna realized that the miraculously restored Reaent and her back from the dead crew were suspicious that the life pod survivors might not really be survivors at all but might be...Romulans. Shamor entered Sickbay with a PADD in hand, apparently logging and confirming the identities of those who'd come aboard. For some reason he was not as serious as the other officers. Anna leaned back and closed her eyes. There was too much going on around her. They would either be kept for debriefing or they would be released and debriefed later. She wasn't sure she cared what order it was done in. Jon turned his attention to Anna after entering in his confirmations. "It appears you went through quite the ordeal. I hope you're a little more relaxed." His voice had her opening her eyes and almost jumping off the biobed to hug him, confirming for herself that he was still alive. "Jon!" Her smile almost incandescent-until she realized what he'd just said to her. "A little more relaxed?" She asked quietly, the smile fading to be replaced by a frown. "You hope that I'm a little more relaxed?" Folding her arms across her chest she looked at him coolly. "Did someone say that I wasn't relaxed? That I didn't take the destruction of this ready-for-the-scrap-heap ship and the death of most of the crew, yourself included, in stride?" He sighed. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I know that I can't comprehend what you went through. Though it seems I made a very poor observation." Leaning over to whisper in her ear, "I'm glad you are safe." Anna turned her head so that she was looking directly into his green eyes, feeling somewhat mollified, answering him equally softly. "That's a two-way street, you know. You were behind us, helping Captain Michaels...he was horribly burned, Jon. I was helping Dr. Smith and he and I, we were the last to make it off the Bridge. I knew you and the Captain were trapped behind. We knew shortly after launching that you two were gone. We knew so many were gone and then the Romulans..." Anna turned her head away and swallowed dryly, willing the tears back. She hadn't cried when it was happening; there hadn't been time and there was no reason to cry now that everything was fine again. Maybe when she was alone. "When I heard Wim's voice saying you were all fine, I can't even express the relief, the sheer joy..." She looked back at him and smiled, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It'll take me a while to feel really relaxed about it." "You should not be afraid to express your feelings, be it joy or sadness. The worst thing you can do is nothing. If there's anything I can do to help, just tell me." "I don't think I have it in me right now to express any more feelings, Jon." Anna glanced down to the PADD in his hand and then met his gaze squarely, a tired grin crossing her face. "You can tell me that I'm free to go take a shower and eat around a pound of fudge." A sly grin seen on his face, "And you don't plan on sharing? As for being free, I'm not keeping you here because medical confirmed your identity. Plus there are two reasons I knew it was you." "I could be persuaded to share...," she answered, noting his smile, "...depending on what those reasons of yours are." "Fudge is one of my favorite relaxation snacks, next to grape tootsie pops which I would appreciate that you not tell the good doctor about. I've got to have my leverage after all." "Oh, your reasons for wanting to share my fudge..." That hadn't been what she'd meant. "If you're wondering how I knew, I scanned you with my eye," pointing at his azure cybernetic eye. "The other reason is well... somehow I just knew you were alive." The eye. She should have known, but his other reason... "You just knew it, huh?" She shook her head and slid off the biobed, using his arm for a moment to steady herself before taking a step forward and turning to face him. "Is that a Zemun thing?" Shaking his head at her guess for the second reason. "Not really; when it comes to those I care about, I just know." Meeting his eyes and feeling suddenly shy, she gave him a lopsided smile, "Well, I wish that I had that ability. It might have been just what I needed to relax me," she added with a grin. "I'm going to go get cleaned up." She turned to walk away but turned back almost immediately, "Oh, and Jon? The grape tootsie pops? Your secret's safe with me."