Dumbass

You forgot the most important part: Vanroy plays with Legos.

It has been a week since the last entry. Isn't it time to choose a winner?

Woah, hold on there. If a guy said Linda Park or Jolene Blalock had a nice rear end or Jeri Ryan had a nice chest you know exactly what would happen. But a girl saying the same thing about a guy is OK? Isn't that a whopper of a double standard? I'm not saying it is bad for women to point out men's body parts. If the situation were reversed, however, it would be considered harrassment.

Most likely yes.

I'll have the Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce garnished with truffle paté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Sometimes different versions of Java aren't "backwards compatible" and an update will interfere with the version already on your system and it becomes corrupted. To fix this, uninstall ALL your Java programs and updates and reload only the most current version.

But if they have cybornetic phasers in their fingertips they might shoot you first. Besides, don't Romulans use disruptors instead of phasers anyway?

On the other hand he didn't deny it either.

Yes they do. However, they have a new rule about them now. They will only sell them to you if you say you are sharing with someone else. (You don't actually have to share, just say you are.)

Hey, I remember that guy. He even showed up for the Reaent 10th Anniversary party! I have 4 favorite STSF moments, all around seeing the GMs in person. 1) My first Shore Leave. FredM was supposed to pick me up at the airport. We had never seen each other so we didn't know how he would know who I was. I said "Why don't I just hold up a cardboard sign that says 'NERDS' on it at the airport?" He didn't think I was serious. 2) The next year I ran into FredM and A9 at the shop in front of Quarks. They just happened to be playing the scene in The Voyage Home when Kirk is telling that driver "Well, double dumbass on you!" 3) I think it was that same trip. I was taking some flack for wearing a black leather jacket in the middle of the desert. This was when we were going out to dinner somewhere. Well, when we got to the restaurant they had the AC on max, and everyone was in shorts, T-shirts, sundresses, etc. and was cold. One person had to cover herself in napkins to keep warm. I was in my warm leather jacket saying "Gee, you guys look cold. Not so dumb now, huh?" 4) Huff in a bathing suit.

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1 ) Pull into your nearest "15 Minute Oil Change" when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2 ) Drink a cup of coffee 3 ) 15 minutes later, pay and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $20.00 Coffee: $1.00 (sometimes free) Total: $21.00 Oil Change instructions for Men : 1 ) Wait until Saturday 2 ) Drive to auto parts store 3 ) Buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree for $50.00. 4 ) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer for $20 5 ) Drive home. 6 ) Open a beer 7 ) Drink it. 8 ) Jack car up. 9 ) Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 10 ) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 11 ) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 12 ) Place drain pan under engine. 13 ) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 14 ) Give up and use crescent wrench. 15 ) Unscrew drain plug. 16 ) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil 17 ) Splash hot oil on you in process. 18 ) Cuss. 19 ) Crawl out from under car 20 ) Wipe hot oil off of face and arms. 21 ) Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 22 ) Have another beer 23 ) Watch oil drain. 24 ) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 25 ) Give up 26 ) Crawl under car 27 ) Hammer a screwdriver through oil filter 28 ) Twist off. 29 ) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. 30 ) Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. 31 ) Drink a beer. 32 ) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 33 ) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 34 ) Remember drain plug from step 16. 35 ) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 36 ) Drink beer. 37 ) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. 38 ) Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 39 ) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. 40 ) Drink beer. 41 ) Crawl under car 42 ) Get kitty litter into eyes. 43 ) Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. 44 ) Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug 45 ) Bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame. 46 ) Begin cussing fit. 47 ) Throw stupid crescent wrench. 48 ) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy. 49 ) Beer. 50 ) Clean up hands 51 ) Bandage as required to stop blood flow. 52 ) Beer. 53 ) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 54 ) Beer. 55 ) Lower car from jack stands. 56 ) Move car back 57 ) Apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps. 58 ) Beer. 59 ) Test drive car. 60 ) Get pulled over 61 ) Get arrested for driving under the influence. 62 ) Car gets impounded. 63 ) Call loving wife 64 ) Make bail. 65 ) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard. Money spent: Parts: $50.00 DUI: $2500.00 Impound fee: $75.00 Bail: $1500.00 Beer: $20.00 Total: $4,145.00 But at least you know it was done right.

Somewhat based on truth. My dad is a hopeless "do-it-yourself"er and doesn't realise it is sometimes more economical to let someone else do something for you. An accountant might be better at painting a house than someone who does it for a living, but while he is painting he isn't doing accounting work that pays a lot more. That sort of thing. Anyway, we decided to change our oils on the same day. I got to his house after he had already started. After he chewed me out for being late I decided to go to JiffyLube. About an hour later I was done, he was still working on his, so I went to the beach and left him to his day-long task.

I wonder if the photographer sticks his finger in front of his rifle when he shoots that too.

That and they look like burnt lasagna.

Before they divorced Jeri Ryan's husband Jack Ryan ran for the Senate seat that Barack Obama eventually won. This means two things: Jack Ryan could have eventually been President (although not the same Jack Ryan in the Tom Clancy books and played by Alek Baldwin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Afleck even though that character did eventually become President) and Jeri Ryan could have become First Lady :P

Is he still on? I thought he left.

Yes, and we should all thank those nice people at Superior Turf-Sod Farm for letting us use their land to role-play on before AOL came into existance.

I like the scene in Batman Begins when Batman is driving through (and above) downtown Gotham (filmed on location in downtown Chicago including Lower Wacker Drive, site of another famous fictional police chase) and he is crashing into buildings, road signs, trees, guard rails, etc. but even after the cops stoped chasing him he was still crashing into things right up to the dirt road leading to what will eventually become the Bat Cave beneath Wayne Mannor. Don't you think the police would eventually think "Hmm, there is all this destruction leading to this dirt path just wide enough for that blacik tank thing. Gee, I wonder if this path goes somewhere."?

It isn't that we think government is better at running our lives. It is that we think government is better at running our next-door neighbor's lives.

Rock beats Scissors.

Perhaps the two of you should step outside or get a room or something.

Let me know when you want that spanking. :)

A recruiter put my resume in front of a client and they really liked my resume, but they want me to document my Excel experience. WHAT THE %*%&@ IS THAT ABOUT? I'm a professional accountant! Asking an accountant to document his Excel skills is like asking a carpenter to document his use of a hammer! It's just a given you know how to use the tools of your trade!

"Just because I'm presumin' That I could be kind-a human If I only had a heart."

Run it for spyware as well. If none of these things work you might have to uninstall ALL your Java and then download the most current version. Java does occasionally become corrupted.