McFly

It’s night on Risa. The moon rests high above lighting the land in a soft blue glow. The cool air gently blows across the beach, between the buildings and through the trees. The sound of crashing waves fade off into the distance. Kansas and Matt walk hand in hand down a dark narrow path away from the bustle of tourists. “Where are we going?” Kansas asks with a very subtle irritation in her voice. “I told you it’s a surprise.” Replied Matt. “I hate surprises.” “I know and I don’t care, you’ll see when we get there. Besides, I really wanted to see you in that little black dress one more time.” He says with a smirk. She looks over at him, “Yeah I bet.” As they walk along the path Kansas catches herself from stumbling in her high-heeled shoes. “You alright?” Matt asks in concern. “Yeah, it’s just these stupid shoes that are trying to kill me… You know what, screw it.” She removes her shoes and walks barefoot. “Here.” She says handing them over to Matt. Cooperatively he grabs her shoes and she retakes his hand continuing down the path. They reach an opened meadow with just enough trees to provide shade but not block out the sky. It’s a park, deserted by the peoples who would rather embrace the nightlife instead. At the edge sits a small table lit by a single candle in the middle and a string of dim lights above. An ancient Earth song, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” is playing softly in the background. A sharp dressed waiter stands next to the table along with a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice. He looks at Kansas and, in an obviously fake yet surprisingly well performed French accent, invites her over. Kansas wants so bad to sock Matt in the gut right now but instead puts on a smile and walks over to the table. Matt places the shoes by the table and pulls out a chair for her to sit. The waiter then pours the drinks and brings out an elegant hearty meal. They finish up eating. The night is not going at all how Matt envisioned, it’s dull and quiet. He looks over to her, “Are you alright, you haven’t said much tonight..” “Yeah, I’m fine.” She says softly.. He can read in her eyes what she’s truly thinking. “You hate it don’t you?” He says deflated. She felt bad after all he was really trying. “What, no-no it’s wonderful, really.” He looks back at her calling her bluff. “Yeah, ok. It’s just… I’m not in to any of this.” “…I know, I suppose between the two of us I am the most girly… I wonder if that’s part of my issues.” He shakes it off. “Anyway, I just wanted to have one last quiet night out with you before we have to leave. Under the stars, in the moon light, I mean I doubt we’ll be able to do something like this again any time soon.” “I’m sorry. This is really nice what you did. Thank you.” She leans over the table to kiss him. “But, this isn’t the only reason for tonight.” Kansas looks back confused. “Look, you know how I feel about you, I’m crazy about you and all I ever want to do is make you happy no matter what I have to do. And despite what you THINK I’m eventually going to do, I want to be the one to make you happy forever.” Matt gets out of his chair and bends on one knee in front of Kansas. She’s both shocked and appalled! He’s doing exactly what she feared he would do ever since the last proposal on the ship. She grows tense and nervous not from excitement but anger and apprehension. Matt continues, “But until the day you let me do that, Kansas Kenickie--” She cuts him off right there before he can do any more, “Matt no, please, we talked about this!” She pleads to him, wanting to get up and run away from the scene of the crime. He grabs from the waiter who is standing behind her…… A phaser rifle. “…Will you do me the honor of standing by my side and shooting the hell out of holographic bad guys? …Safety off of course.” Kansas sits there in silence, stunned and bewildered. Out of nowhere she slaps Matt across the face! “Ow! What was tha--” She cuts him off grabbing his face kissing him. She grabs the rifle out of his hand and jumps out of her chair. She looks back at him seductively, “Let’s kick some ass.” Matt smiles back at her then nods to the waiter who activates a holographic projection of multi-species enemies. He grabs another rifle and together, Kansas and Matt, transform the deserted park into a small battlefield

The hour had become late and grew into the early morning. The air was becoming crisp as the landscape cooled. Matt was on the roof of the ridiculously high hotel preparing an extravagant gesture for Kansas. Matt realized he probably sounded like a crackhead earlier when they were talking. All he wanted was for her to start opening up to him, to trust him but that’s probably not how it sounded. Kansas had wandered off and he was afraid he pushed her too hard and then pushed her away. Two backpacks had been brought up. What they were for only Matt knew. He lit some candles to make it look at least semi-romantic. He looked around and everything seemed perfect until he realized one simple flaw… It might be best to make the hotel privy to his plan just in case someone would want to ruin the moment by alerting security. Being a security officer himself he knew how eager those people are to do their jobs, especially in a place where they’re probably not needed all too much. In the distance through the glass doors of the lobby he could see the group of people at the fire. Matt hoped Kansas was out there enjoying herself and he hadn’t ruined her vacation. He turned his attention back to his pursuits and found the hotel manager to discussing his arrangements. Little did Matt know, Kansas was not out with everyone else but by herself walking along a strip of stores as they were closing. Shopping usually makes her feel better but this isn’t the kind of place to sell too much assorted weaponry so it wasn’t working as well as she had hoped. The large departing crowds weren’t helping either it almost made thing worse. Droves of people were being ushered out of closing stores and packed into the street. The exiting tourists trying to leave at the same time didn’t exactly make for the best situation to clear ones mind and Kansas just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Eventually Kansas squeezed her way through popping out the nearest exit. She found herself on the beach not far from the rest of the crew. She got closer walking along the shore. Kansas looked on the group at the fire considering joining them. More people is not what she needed right now. She was enjoying the solitude she found in such an open atmosphere. The water looked so inviting right now. She dropped her things on the sand and walked in just enough to get her feet wet. The water was cold but it felt good. She took a deep breath filling her lungs with the cool, crisp air. It truly was nice to be away from the ship, to have something different from the norm. She looked up at the sky. The stars twinkled displaying an amazing show of light. Even though Kansas lived in that empty sea above it still made for a beautiful sight. Finally Kansas was able to clear her mind. She thought about life, the universe and everything. She tried to figure out what the hell Matt was talking about and why he keeps seeing the need to change her. She changes for no one he should know that by now. Thinking about it was just going to make her crazy. She took another deep breath and just focused on the wind spilling across her face. She could hear someone getting closer and looked back to see it was Sovak… Matt was pleased with himself. He had gotten the hotel manager on board with his plan, after a bribe of course, and he and Kansas were to have no interference by the hotel staff. He walked out the door towards the fire hoping to find Kansas there. As he got closer he saw her talking with Sovak. He was eager to get his plan in motion but thought it best to wait for her. Instead, he watched and locked away in memory what would be the greatest scene of public debauchery he would ever witness… Faldek drunk in front of the entire crew. Matt noticed Kansas walking over. She felt somber like she wasn’t sure about anything anymore. She really envied Vulcans and their control over their emotions. She walked up to Matt and put a happy face on for him. He wrapped his arm around her feeling a bit better that she actually came over to him. “You alright?” She nodded with an “Mhmm..” Matt tried not to look too much into her response. “You sure?” “I’m Fine.” She said assertively. “Okay… Hey you wanna talk for a minute?” “Actually I don’t really want to talk anymore. Let’s just go to bed.” Matt’s excitement becomes deflated, “Okay we don’t have to talk but I got something I really want to show you.” “Can it wait till morning I’m pretty tired.” “Well technically it is morning.” She pauses for a moment, “…Fine.” “Excellent!” He says dragging her off to the hotel. “…But it better be good.” They exit the elevator to their room at the top floor. They start up the stairs to the roof. Matt stops half way up. “Wait!” He blurts out. “Alright look, I know you don’t want to talk but I just want to say I’m sorry for sounding like a fool earlier.” Kansas looks down at him standing a couple of steps above. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded I just… I’m doing everything I can to prove myself to you, to prove that I’m not going to run off the first chance I get. I’m just looking for you to open up to me more, to trust me you know.” She looks at him discerning the sincerity in his eyes, and felt guilty. She walks down a couple of steps to his level and wraps her arms around him embracing him. “I care about you, more than I thought I would.” She looks up at him gathering her words. “I am doing the best I know how. My Dad showed me how to get by on my own, not to count on anyone. You are the first I let myself care about. It's not easy for me, it chills me to the bone.” Matt looks into her eyes, for the first time truly feeling so close to her than he has their entire time together. He brings her in tenderly kissing her on the lips.. “Come on, still got my surprise for you.” He takes Kansas by the hand and they continue up the stairs. On the roof she looks around to see many unlit candles. “You know, fire works best when either it can’t be blown out or in less windy conditions.” “Yeah, that’s not what I wanted to show you.” He points over to the two backpacks. Kansas walks over and looks down at them. “We’re taking a trip?” “Oh yeah.” He says looking over the wall of the roof. “Down there.” She becomes confused and excited at the same time. “You said when we got here you wanted to jump off the top of this very, very high building. I pulled some strings and they’re letting us." She stands there looking between Matt and the packs. She can’t believe he actually got permission to jump off the roof. A tear almost wells up but is quickly sucked back down. She kisses him, more passionately than she ever had before. They both strap on the parachute packs and stand on top the ledge of the roof. Matt looks down now reconsidering his decision. “You know, maybe I should leave you another pack in case you want to jump again.” Kansas looks at him smiling with almost an evil hint to it. “There is no way you’re getting out of this. On the count of three, jump.” “You know I don’t think I really want to. I keep forgetting I’ve been wanting to live lately.” “Oh but you don’t mind me plunging to my death?” “What? No I didn’t mean that.” He says stammering. “Uh huh. One… two… three!” Kansas jumps off and pulls Matt down with her just in case he was going to chicken out last minute. They free fall from the skyscraper like building. The wind rushes past so quickly but it feels like floating in nothing. The fall down feels like forever but within seconds they both throw their chute. The heavy wind carries them around the beach before setting them down in the sand. Matt lays on the ground for a moment so thankful his parachute opened. Kansas jumps to her feet completely exhilarated. She throws off her pack and tackles Matt who had just gotten up himself. “Oh my god that was incredible!” She says screaming loud enough for the entire beach to hear. Matt slowly gets to his feet. “Yeah I’m not forgetting that one for a while.” He looks over at Kansas, “Did you pull me off the ledge?” She giggles excitedly, “Yeah I did.” All he can do at this point is laugh. The tip of the sun peaks out over the horizon. Matt looks at Kansas in the dim light realizing he’s in love with a complete psychopath and has never been happier. “You know at this rate we’re going to be sleeping well into the afternoon.” She looks back smiling mischievously, “No no, we’re not sleeping at all.”

::Minutes pass after Precip and Farrington leave for the dorsal module. Matt keeps a tight eye on the Romulan Warbirds patrolling the area. The silence on the bridge is deafening. Everyone waits anxiously to find out who sent that distress signal exposing Manticore’s existence in Romulan space. The reality of the situation is becoming apparent. Matt’s chest tightens and he becomes short of breath but keeps his composure on the outside. With no one talking, he’s alone with his thoughts:: What the hell were those jackholes thinking? They’re trying to expose us I know they are. They thought we’d get cold feet so they rigged the damned thing to get the Romulan’s attention and start the fight that way. @#$% StarFleet! ::Matt takes slow deep breaths so as not to attract attention from the bridge staff:: …What the hell’s wrong with me? Why am I so nervous? ::He keeps his eyes trained on the tactical display:: This is really happening isn’t it? And we’re all about to die doing it. Is that it am I afraid to die? It must be, I get tense whenever I think about it. That doesn’t make sense, why am I afraid to die? I was fine with it earlier, in fact I encouraged it, I’ve been waiting to die my entire tenure here. Just yesterday I was so ready to fly this ship in and stick one up those friggin Romulans. I’ve downright expected to die since I first heard the details of this mission. Some would say I was hoping for it… I would say I was hoping for it. I don’t get it, why do I all of a sudden care? And why do I keep thinking of Kans-- Ah hell! Damn girl put a spell on me. Now I know what that song means. Crap, I want to live now, and I want Kansas to live too… Yeah I really don’t care what happens to anyone else, but I really want me and Kansas to live. I think I want to grow old and have lots of babies with her too… Yeah I’m probably just making that part up but the rest is true that much I know. Wow, this is a milestone for me, for once I’m actually hoping we don’t screw it up and die in an obviously obliterating yet visually spectacular explosion. ::Matt rubs his face and refocuses his attention:: Alright, if we’re going to make it alive I need to do my job. I suppose saving me and Kansas means I gotta keep everyone else alive too. Well if that’s the way it’s gotta be… focus! ::Matt slows his breathing but still feels tense:: I’m still pumped, I need to calm myself down. What’d my therapist say? Think of luscious meadows… a warm breeze… fluffy bunnies-- No bunnies! Crap I forgot! Something else, maybe a joke, a good laugh will do me good. All right, two Bolians walk into a bar and ask for Tholian herb tea… Wait I’ve heard this before it’s not that funny. That’s all right I’m feeling calmer anyway. I just need to focus on my job and keep the ship in one-piece… one big piece… Damnit I hope I get over this will to live crap.

Written By Kansas Kenickie Matthew McFly walked lazily down the hall, the tension on the ship wore heavy on his shoulders as he entered his quarters. He had been looking forward to down time, getting the chance for a distraction from the up coming mission a head. The doors to his quarters slid shut behind him making the room dark once again; Matt removed his tunic and stretched. Before he could fully register what was happening, Matt could feel himself being tackled to the ground and pinned. He tried to toss the person off of him, but felt his attacker was applying weight to pressure points, making movement impossible. “You are supposed to be on tactical alert…” was whispered into his ear and then the pressure was lifted, releasing the pressure allowing him some movement. McFly knew who was on top of him before she had spoken, when she leaned in to whisper, her scent had reached his nose before her words hit his ears. “Maybe I let you get the drop on me; I wouldn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you.” He smirked recalling a certain communiqué. Kansas sat back a little and smiled devilishly. “Oh, goodie… I get to take advantage of you then!” “By all means.” He smiled, moving his arms up and behind his head. He looked up at her and noticed that there was no worry or concern in her eyes about the up coming mission a head of them… “How is it you look as though you don’t have a care in the world?” Kansas tilted her head to the side and shrugged, “Why worry about something beyond your control? I’d rather live in the moment and enjoy myself. I’ll let everyone else freak out.” She leaned in and kissed him, and smiled… “Come; let me help you forget your day… and what may come.” Matt looked up at her and returned the smiled; he had to admit getting lost in her arms sounded like the perfect end to a stressful day.

Dear diary. The most wonderful thing happened today, and no it didn't involve Kansas. Everyone on the ship got offered the chance to forego a mission! Why am I happy about that you ask? Well that means this is going to be one fricken doozy of a mission. I can only assume there will be many deaths of the new crew mates that just came aboard. Their own fault, they should have read the pamphlet more carefully. I mean seriously, the liability waiver should have been a dead giveaway… pun intended. I can’t wait. I can pretty much guarantee no security members will be leaving this one behind. In other news I wasn’t demoted for the poor job I did as temp chief during our last mission. Precip didn’t exactly commend me, but he gave as good a compliment as a Romulan could give so I suppose that counts for something. Yeah I guess I got myself all worked up for nothing. Oh well, I’m just glad Precip is here for this one. I know the mission will be fun, but I already know I don’t want to be in charge during it. Speaking of which, since we’re not going back to Earth like I had thought, I won’t be able to hand deliver Ensign Red Shirt like I was expecting. A shame too, I was going to have a nice service for him. Duty calls, I’m sure he’d understand. I sent his ashes along with a letter to his relatives. They’ll give him a proper burial. …I was actually kind of hoping to be there. He did die on my watcher after all. I feel the least I could do is pay my respects. If this mission is anything like people are expecting, we’ll probably be paying respects to a lot more. End log.

Matt laid there with Kansas, their bodies entangled in one. Everything that had plagued him the entire mission had fallen away. Every worry he had every doubt, she had taken. Kansas apologized for not being there when he needed her but she was. When Matt was at his lowest, when he felt he had done everything wrong, when he felt everything he was put in charge of had collapsed, she was there for him when he needed her the most. That was all he asked… all he wanted. He breathed with her. Their hearts pounding together. He felt closer to her now than ever. She had taken him. His body, his soul, it was hers. Was this true love he felt for the first time? It had to be, for this was one emotion he never felt with such intensity. He wanted her to know how he felt. He wanted to show it, make her feel it as intensely as he had. Matt could see the sweat glisten on Kansas’ body. In his arms he felt her tremble. Slowly Matt closed his eyes touching her lips with his. For Matt, time had stopped. This moment, lasting an eternity and beyond… They laid there in silence. Kansas’ in his arms her head resting on Matt’s chest. No more cares, no more worries. Reality seemed like a better place to be now. What would happen tomorrow didn’t matter now. He actually knew what it felt like to love someone, to feel like existence would implode if they weren’t there. This emotion was frightening yet exciting and all he wanted to do was explore it more. But everything he felt that gave him such ecstasy would be torn away with one simple thought that would make his heart feel like it stopped… What if she didn’t feel the same way.

For Matt McFly, this entire mission had been a head spin. For some inexplicit reason, Precip had been absent when Manticore was sent to investigate the strange wormhole that sucked them to a completely different galaxy. Because of this Matt had been forced to take command of the security team. He performed to the best of his ability but was obviously unprepared for the job. Between being so far from home, people getting abducted and Faldek so conspicuously trying to edge his way into McFly’s position, he really wasn’t sure what the heck he was doing. But now came a mission Matt knew how to do. He wasn’t in charge of protecting a ship’s compliment of people. He didn’t have to devise a defensive system against alien predators. He just had to perform a simple search and rescue mission. Find the Admiral and get out. Easy enough right? This is what he was trained to do and what he continues to train for. Matt sits in main security preparing for the mission. He studies prints of the ship, readies his weapons making sure they’re not too bulky as to not slow him down. He then grabs the personal cloaking devices hoping this will make the mission that much easier. He then also grabs enough of the emergency transport device prototypes, one for each team member and one for the Admiral. The away team was comprised of just himself and Faldek. Matt knew Kansas was going to kill him when she found out about him going on an away mission without her. But after the injuries she received from the collision with the other ship, he knew the best place for her was sickbay. Besides, the fewer the people on the team, the easier it would be to sneak around an already suspicious ship. McFly saw Faldek gearing up for the mission, loading down with firearms and knives. Faldek had asked Matt earlier if he wanted him to lead the mission. Matt just looked at him, smiled and said “No thanks.” but as he thought about it, he was truly insulted by Faldek’s remark. This entire mission he’s had to push Faldek back so to speak and he had grown tired of it. For now, McFly was in charge and that was not going to change. Matt now thought he had something to prove on this mission, not just to Faldek but to himself.

McFly stands up taking a deep breath. At this point he really started to regret sleeping through those first aid courses at the academy. On one hand he has the ships commanding officer about ready to fall into a coma from some empathic connection with her husband. Which Matt then thinks that if he should ever get married, hopes he and his wife would never get that close. And on the other hand has his unofficial girlfriend Kansas, suffering from severe head trauma. Stepping in for Precip is one thing, preventing people from dying however was not his job. At least not in this capacity. What the hell is he to do now? Are there enough deities to pray to get him through this? Ok first step, grab med-kit conveniently lying on the floor. He grabs the kit, turns around ready to play doctor, but wait!… Who does he treat first, Jami or Kansas? Obvious choice would be the Commander but why can’t he bring himself to walk over there as he keeps looking at Kansas? Each are in a fair amount of danger of slipping into unconsciousness. He needs to make a decision quickly before both are gone. His training gives him the choice but his heart speaks different. The hell with it! Matt runs up the ramp to the station Kansas is slumped over at. How could he make any other decision? Right now he couldn’t care less about proper protocol. Besides, Matt knows the Admiral would never put Jami second if the others could wait, why should he do different with Kansas? He’ll just be a minute anyway. Just long enough to get her stabilized then he’ll be over to help the Commander. Just a minute. She’ll be fine for that long right… right…?

McFly roamed up and down the ship, performing the Admirals bidding and working with Mele to ration the food, power and supplies. With every step he took his head pulsed in sync. From the very end of the meeting his headache brewed. No one listened to him, no one gave him a glance, and probably no one knew he was in there. All attention was given to the wild ravings of the crazy Garnoopy. Had Precip been there, they would have held onto his every word. Where is Precip anyway? It seems like weeks since Matt last saw him. Matt ran in his mind things he wanted to address to Precip most notably Faldek. From his last account, HE was the assistant to the chief. So seeing Faldek neglect the chain of command and even going above his head was quite infuriating. First he interrupted the primary workstations to install a security feature that proved quite futile. Then he orders the replication of phasers for literally everyone on board using up resources that now stand in the crews’ way of certain death. And to top off the pounding of his migraine, Faldek finally comes to Matt with a suggestion only to go over his head to the Admiral when Matt instructs him to take the matter to the actual people handling the operation. He liked the idea, he thought it was cleaver, ingenious even. He wished he thought of it himself. The point being was that security was ordered to handle the rationing and science was to chart the area. Last he knew Faldek was in security. Matt shrugged and shook his head as he continued down the hall. He thinks to himself, does he command such little respect that even his own peers see him as a cadet than a Lieutenant Commander? Sure he and Fladek doing get along all too well, especially in the past few weeks. But he at least thought Faldek had the decency to work under him while Precip had seemingly disappeared. McFly walks down the hall taking deep breaths trying to calm himself. He focuses his mind on something else since his previous mental occupation was about to force his fist through a wall. So they’re actually going to explore the idea of traveling through sub-space to get back home. He stands at a console in main security looking over the entire ship and powering down every last non-essential system. Is it really worth it? The one thing that kept going over in his mind during the meeting was Garn mentioning the destruction of a few lightyears in their wake back to earth. The one thing Matt is always sure of is his hatred for humanity and really all life in general. Hence his choice to join a black ops ship where morals can mean little more than a question. Matt isn’t smart when it comes to science or engineering, but a few lightyears… a couple… one lightyear worth of people killed in an attempt to get one ship back home. It just seemed like too many. So much blood to be poured on his hands for one selfish action. He hated people sure, but what if he were one of the millions of people that was killed in a twinkle of an eye just so one ship could get their selfish asses back home? Would he have the decency to do unto others? Matt stands there looking up from his console, staring into the oblivion that is the wall. Is it really worth it to get back home?

I Hate Being Me, But I Love It In My Head

Faldek’s sleeping gas quickly fills McFly’s lungs as he tries to hurry his fellow mutineers out of the room. Too late. Slowly Matt becomes more and more fatigued. The desperation for his body to sleep proves too great and he falls to the floor. Darkness, pure black, so thick you wouldn’t think light could pass through. Where is he? Has he been taken captive somewhere? Matt calls out. He hears an echo but no answer. Last he remembers he was in Faldek’s quarters. Faldek! Yes, he had something to do with this; he must have, right? Wait… the gas, is he dead? Is this heaven? …No, there’s no way in hell he’d be allowed in heaven. That’s it, he’s in hell. Wow, it’s a lot cooler than he thought hell would be. And why is it so dark? Matt walks through the darkness. Considering he can’t see where he’s going he wonders aimlessly. The sound of his footsteps breaks the deafening silence. Until he hears… that voice, it’s so soft and soothing. A woman’s voice calling his name into the distance. Matt listens for the direction but the echo makes it hard to pinpoint. That’s it, it must be coming from that direction. That voice, it’s so far away yet familiar. The echo wraps the angelic sound around him like a blanket. Each time he feels a calm flow over him. He walks toward it. Steadily his pace quickens. Soon he’s running toward the voice. As Matt races into the distance he sees a break in the dark. A glimmer of light that shines so bright in the empty darkness. He gets closer to the voice and it gets louder, the light gets brighter. The darkness is all but behind him now. He runs even faster now to reach it that much sooner. Stopped in his tracks, skids, and nearly falls over. Why did he stop he’s right there, so close and yet he’s not moving. He can see it now, the woman that stands in the light, the voice that calls to him. Is it her? It is he knows it’s her, Kansas. Standing there so beautiful in such a brilliant light that fills the dark void. Her hand reaches out and she calls to him. She waits wanting to pull him out of the darkness but he just stands there. Why does he hesitate? A mist. Wait, where did this come from? A dark mist with a sour smell. The cold sour mist dances around Matt. It starts collecting itself in front of him forming four dark shadowy figures. What are they, monsters, demons? Whatever they are he can sense it, he knows they are pure evil. His chest tightens and fear fills his entire body like a sub-zero wind that pierces the very flesh. They block the light casting a thick shadow on Matt. Kansas calls out to him, she tells him to hurry. Must he face them? The thought alone makes him want to cower in a corner, he just wants to escape. If only he had enough courage to run past them and into the arms of his lover, but he just stands there, frozen. The shadowy figures move closer to him. He can see them now. Matt looks on in utter disbelief. The dark evil figures are him they are Matt! He stares at these four figures that take on a likeness of himself. The first one holds a dagger and starts giggling like a schoolgirl as he starts to slice the flesh open of the second. The second one takes it in ecstasy. The blissful look on his face is frightening as Matt watches the first one slice. He cuts deep removing whole sections of flesh exposing muscle and bone. Matt is disgusted even more by the third one who watches the first two. He seems to be receiving some sort of sexual perversion out of the actions of the other two. The fourth just stands there eating a plate of cookies. Matt can still see Kansas in the background still calling to him screaming with urgency to hurry. What does she know that he doesn’t? The four figures hear Kansas and stop their actions. Matt is still frozen as they start moving but not toward Kansas, toward him. Why do they want him, what did he do to be trapped by this evil? They’re nearly on top of him. Matt knows he must move if he wants to escape. Run to Kansas, she’s the only way to escape the dark! With all the will he can muster he purges the fear that paralyzes his body. Bolting out in a surge of energy Matt plows through the four figures and out of the darkness. He runs into the awaiting arms of his lover, the one that can pull him out of the grip of the darkness that lingers in the shadows of his mind. Matt’s eyes open. He looks over to see Kansas sitting next to him on his bed patiently waiting for him to awake. He’s back on the ship. Was it all a nightmare? It may very well have been, but he knows he’ll visit that dark place again as he does every time he closes his eyes to rest. He sees Kansas looking over him with concern. She doesn’t even realize how often she rescues him from a fate worse than death or even assimilation. He ponders a thought, the same he does every time he wakes. Should he lose her, could Matt ever escape the darkness?

Computer, activate log. McFly’s log, stardate… don’t care, can’t remember right now. ::McFly moves to sit on his bed; grunts in pain:: Damn doctor, how the hell did he pass medical school without learning how to use a dermal regenerator? Wouldn’t be in pain if Atragon, ::mockingly:: yes, my liege… hadn’t decided to cut me across my chest! What?! You like to cut Atragon?!! You wanna carve some designs in my flesh?!!! ::calms; small maniacal laugh:: In due time dear Admiral, in due time. You will bow before me. You and Precip, yes and the entire crew will follow my word. In due time Atragon and Precip, I will saw your head off your NECK! ::McFly paces:: …And Farrington, yes your wife, she will become my pet. Dragged around by a leash and fed table scraps. ::Falls down to the bed; confused:: What am I saying, this-this isn’t right. No, something’s wrong, but what is it? Why do I want to kill, I’ve never had such bloodlust… Well at least not towards my superiors… Or at least not towards the crew… At least not towards so many people… well not towards…something’s not right! What can it be? Is it the voices? … Yes it must be. The dreams have returned. No I silenced them. No wait they’re still there. SHUT UP! ::McFly cradles his head in his hands:: They’re telling me to do this I know they are. To kill Atragon, LIKE THE FILTH THAT HE IS! They’re right… No I’m right. He will fall to me. A wise me once gave me a rule to live by… don’t trust anyone. No wait, did I think of that? I heard it in my head… Anyway it’s a good rule. I hear it when I’m with Kansas. I wonder if I can trust her. I know she will stand beside me and look down upon Atragon and all those that dare defy me, but will she forever be my companion, my lover in whom I confide and trust? I hear that little voice that tells me she will betray me and in that moment I will be forced to annihilate her as the many that have deceived me before. Kansas, my one true love, why do you put me in this position? I pray her day of deceit is a long way off. However before then, Atragon will fall at my feet. ::McFly looks into a nearby mirror on a wall; he gazes at the scar across his chest:: Why do you play these games Atragon, why? Are you trying to make me angry? Do you have a death wish? Do you want to DIE?! ::McFly throws his fist into the mirror shattering it across the floor:: DO YOU WANT A COOKIE?!! ::McFly looks down at a large shard seeing his reflection; slowly he grabs it:: We will play your game Atragon and I will win, because I play dirty. ::As McFly speaks he slowly drags a sharpened edge of the shard across his chest opening up his flesh letting his blood trickle down; he sadistically stares into the mirror shard:: Thank you sir may I have another?! ::McFly cuts again across his own chest moving a little fast this time:: Did you like that, was it good, you want another slice?!! ::Again McFly cuts his chest; he winces in pain but almost enjoying it; his blood slowly streams down his body and pools onto the floor:: You hear me Atragon?!! Enjoy it NOW!! I WILL KILL YOU!!! ::McFly throws the shard against the wall and it shatters even further; within moments McFly’s hysterics ends; calmly he sits back down on the bed with a dermal regenerator in hand:: Computer, end log;

The battle had ended, the Manticore had won. Unfortunately not everyone was around to celebrate. McFly cheers as the wood shards rain down floating above the water and the smoke dissipates from the burning pirate ship as it’s swallowed by the blue ocean. Medical teams frantically start tending to the wounded, engineering teams start repairs to the ship. McFly goes below deck to assess the damage. As he reaches the lower deck his stomach is turned by all the dead bodies littered across the broken floor. One in particular catches his eye. McFly runs over to the seemingly lifeless body of Lieutenant Brutus. McFly cradles Brutus’ head in his arms as he cries out to the nearby medical teams. He calls back to his first aid training and checks for a pulse. He waits for what seems like an eternity for that beat. Just as he’s about ready to think the inevitable, McFly feels a quick pulse run across his two fingers. He controls his hysteria as he wipes the blood running down the side of the head of his good buddy. The medical teams make their way over to Brutus and carry him away to sickbay. McFly takes a minute to compose himself, it’s back to business. He looks around at the glorious damage the firefight with the pirate ship produced. A hole in the side of the ship, many people injured, a few dead. McFly looks around to see the many lifeless croatoan bodies. Poor little guys, they never had a chance. They were so little and near such a big explosion. Many other croatoans weeping for their fallen brethren. McFly pans around and… no, it can’t be. He walks closer to get a better look. It can’t be him, he too onry to have gotten himself caught in the explosion. McFly slowly falls to his knees and holds the dead croatoan in his arms. McFly looks at him up and down as tears well up in his eyes. It is, it’s the silent croatoan. The previous weeks events racing through his mind. The arguments, the chases, the death threats… He clutches the silent croatoan to his chest. Unable to hold back the tears, McFly sits in silence on the lower deck.

::With everyone back on the bridge, McFly takes an hour for himself. He walks into his quarters, grabs him a quick snack and something with caffeine in it. He cleans up with a shower and a new uniform and takes some time to relax on the couch, giving himself a break from the world around him.:: Computer, begin personal log. McFly’s personal log… whatever day it is. I think I lost track. I need an outlet for my stress, I’m about on the edge. First minute I was find and the second I was screaming at my console. ::takes deep breath:: You’d think that since the real mission is over, I’d be more relaxed. …Speaking of the real mission… You know I went on and on about how I found it so unethical and how I was on the verge insubordinating <<made a new word>> myself because I wasn’t willing to compromise my integrity or the prime directive. In the end, I lost all that, I went on that mission without hesitation, I was ready to blow up that facility. I guess in this instance, the end can justify the means, because of what we found. But I didn’t know that beforehand, my actions should have been like the first missions. I shouldn’t have been anymore willing to go down that and I was. I keep trying to convince myself I was focused on trying to save Dr. Major, but that’s just an excuse. The real mission was to destroy the facility, and after all is said and done, I put aside my convictions and went down there like a good little solider and did my mission. Maybe I’ll get a medal. And now the Babylon is back ready to destroy us. Well I guess, not anymore, but they were. Anyway I don’t think I have any residual feelings towards them. Just because I was screaming like a psychotic idiot earlier just looking for an excuse to blow them up, doesn’t mean I have a problem with them or anything. …I think I just need to scream about something. Relieve some of that pressure you know. I do feel better. Just glad no one us in there with me, although Crystal was probably hidden in there some place. I finished my rave just before the Consoler and Admiral walked in. Gee, imagine how embarrassing that would have been. ::looks at the clock:: Oh well, guess it’s time to go back to reality. ::finishes his drink:: Computer, end log.

For someone that likes star trek, that's sure a lot not to like.

My #1 favorite is without a doubt the Prometheus. Additionals would be the Sovereign, Akira and Intrepid. I don't really dislike any ships, but my least favorites are the Oberth, Constellation, Miranda, and, dare I say, Nebula.

Computer, begin log: ::McFly lays down on his bed, having just gotten off a long shift and arriving at Nede Prime; He lays there, thoughts roaming through his head, his manner more serious than usual:: Lieutenant Commander McFly’s personal log. So, we’ve finally reached the Nede Prime system. Our mission, to destroy strange new worlds… Well maybe that’s a bit harsh. We’re not destroying the planet as it were, although I’d assume The General will issue those orders sooner or later. No, we’re going to make sure these people stay on this planet until WE no, StarFleet decides they’re ready to be let loose. I mean I understand they’re xenophobic and all, but who are we to decide the evolution of these people? How do they know they won’t keep to themselves out here? How do they know these people won’t embrace new cultures once they find out how populated the galaxy really is? Maybe that’s it, maybe their violence toward other species has led StarFleet to think they need to imprison them on their own planet. You know I don’t seem to remember humans being anymore inviting when aliens came to visit Earth. Ooh let’s see, only when they invented warp technology were they really open to alien races on Earth. And isn’t that what we’re preventing this planet from doing! No, there’s got to be more to this than just afraid they’ll do something foolish out here. ::McFly sits up:: There has to be a bigger reason why the Prime Directive is being so BLATANTLY disobeyed! ::stands up; starts pacing around:: I know I’ve never been one to follow all the rules, but I do know what lines not to cross. This goes beyond general orders. This is ethically and morally outrageous!… ::stops to gaze out the window towards the planet:: Through the time I’ve been in black ops, I’ve never question The Generals orders… I now understand Precip. There’s something very wrong with this situation. It doesn’t make things any better seeing the Captain just following orders like this is an everyday operation. I know he can’t show emotion, but it would still be nice to know he has some withdraws about the mission. He acts like he doesn't care one way or the other. I suppose only time will tell how this plays out. The only thing keeping me from getting court-martialed right now is the benefit of the doubt. Either there’s something about these people that I don’t know about, or they better be as volatile as they’re made out to be. ::looks out at the planet as it spins:: Damn The General. ::lays back down on his bed:: Computer, end log.

With only a couple of hours left before the Manticore leaves the station, McFly hurries off to the top decks of Starbase 9. He arrives on the deck of the giant replicator that so many people used to furnish the station and add commodities to the ship. This time however he’s not looking for a plusher bed or a trinket to decorate his room with. No, McFly wants and has in mind only one thing… “Computer, stool roughly four feet high and adequate back support, at least enough to where I can lean back into from time to time… Oh and I want it with a steel frame, and leather upholstery too.” Immediately, a brand new beautiful stool materializes in front of him. McFly inspects it real quick and everything is perfect, right down to the stitching. He grabs the stool and quickly leaves the replicator room and heads for the bridge of the Manticore. When he arrives, he discreetly scurries over to tactical where he places the stool in front of the standing console. He plops himself down, relaxes one foot on the horizontal rim between the legs. Now McFly is ready for battle, more relaxed than he’s ever been at tactical.