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Aye and without him we would not have the book "Congo" and without that book we would not have the film and without the film we wouldn't have... A)Crazy ass monkeys and guys in monkey suits :) Tim Curry being told "stop eating my sesame cake!" The sad part is I'm actually serious! God rest your soul, maker of complex and very technical science fiction novels that got turned into some of the greatest drinking game films of all time.

I'm gonna get a hamster. One day. One day.

I voted for zombies but disagree with the brains bit. I'm a Romero zombie fan...even though land and diary of the dead did suck the sweat off a dead man's... ...nose? I can do PG!

Hey guys, Recently I had to leave my post on the USS Excalibur (which was pretty crappy since it was the best ship I'd served on in my time on STSF) because I couldn't practically sim at between 3-5 AM every week and it got me thinking, why after all this time have we still not got a more international timezone friendly sim? Yes I know, many of you are thinking "Please stop whining now!" and I completely sympathise. :) Now don't get me wrong, I am very impressed at how STSF is still growing in new ways. The new excalibur message board sim for example is a great way to get new members interested in the site. There's a lot of trekkies out there who find post-sims more their style. Hell thats what most the Star Trek sims out there are! But therein lies the problem. I think that what makes STSF special is our unique chat-sim schedule and training academy. Heh not to mention the academy is a nice way to spot the unsocial nutters before they get kneedeep in an advanced sim. It is this system that attracted me to the site more than anything, even the endorsement from startrek.com. I think that though the new message board sim is a great way to get new members, especially those who have time constraints, I feel we must attempt in future to create a new chatsim that is at a time more people from abroad can meet. I'm fully aware that like myself there are others from abroad already on the site who do endeavour to meet the schedule and like me adore this community but there have been many others who just couldn't make a commitment at such strange hours. You see them every once in a blue moon on the forums, a post here, a post there, asking if there is an alternative simtime. Hell the week I joined there was some poor lad out in Russia who kept asking and eventually disappeared. And that made me sad, even then. I must also point out that quitting excalibur wasn't the first time I've had to leave a sim because of the awkward early hours timing, but the third. Before that there was the Sky Harbor, then the Challenger. Each time I hoped that with enough time I could get to full commander status, apply for GM training and eventually start my own sim but of course that would take quite a bit of time and eventually the hours took their toll. Now I'm not demanding anything, of course I'm not, I'm in not even in a position to do so! But I'm just bringing up the topic for discussion again. Even if nothing happens for a very long time I wanted to just shake the tree and see what fell out. Cheers guys, sorry for the length. Images

Heh, sounds brilliant boss. Pardon me for ruining the surprise!!

Can't stop playing mass effect. Need a 12 step program.

Any of you over there in yankland hear about the rumble over here at the BBC? A rundown is that basically the British equivalant of Letterman or Leno, the king of latenight over here, Johnathan Ross, has been suspended...for making prank phone calls. Stupid oversensitive world with its complaint hotlines.

Why can't I just like Metallica? I have no clue. I just don't. ...the randomness must not end.

In the Old Days when you kept your porn under the bed it was impossible to reach! Now with the new and improved pervo-bed you can drop it right next to you and curl back into a feotal position with minimal trouble. Order today and recieve a free box of tissues!

All creatures great and small swear by Rightguard! Mmmm, underarm freshness!

Thanks Cor. I for one love it when I know the layout of the bridge. With all the whispered conversations going on there its good to know where you won't be easily heard. :ph34r:

There she was, just a-walking down the street singing...

Wait a mo, back there did someone actually say "midi-chlorians"? Grrrrrr! Damn you Lucas! Damn you to hades! ...And Han always, always...shoots first. We will now return you to your scheduled programming.

Bad dreamer, whats your name Looks like were ridin on the same train Looks as through therell be more pain Theres gonna be a showdown - The Electric Light Orchestra One of the Trills on board the USS Excalibur was not in a good mood. Or perhaps both of them weren’t but that’s not incredibly important right now though. What is important is that a Trill that answered to the name of Atticus Segami, wasn’t. Standing at tactical, with a rifle slung over his shoulder he felt mildly like some daft show puppet. There was an intruder onboard, or intruders, and he wasn’t being allowed to handle the matter as he saw fit. This was the first time he had been face to face with the captain since their last ‘discussion’ on the matter of proper duty and now it looked like a sequel. Segami did not consider the idea of a changeling onboard truly feasible. His logic though hardly Vulcan verified that. The sightings of doubles and other unexplained personnel took place across different areas of the ship in an extraordinary short window of time. This meant that the theory would only work is if there was more than one changeling on board. This, as the Trill was aware was very rare indeed as founders usually worked alone. And he doubted if they’d be foolish enough to give themselves away so easily. If not impossible, the theory was at the very least highly improbable. Though what was the alternative really? Some bizarre interaction with the Ion storm? A distortion of time and space? Mass hysteria caused by an influx of some sort of electro pulse? Though Segami suggested such phenomena on the bridge he truly suspected that the cause was most likely a mere mix of miscommunication, confusion and perhaps a few crewmembers still recovering from a hardspent leave. Well, he hoped that’s what it was. If it were indeed the case, he could simply write it off as a training exercise and rest easy. If not? Well, that would just be a damned nuisance. The amount of setbacks they had endured on this mission was unbearable. Even the recent leave was called simply to stop the crew going mad from grief or frustration. Another blow like this would not be good. Besides the fact that once again there would be a chance everyone could get killed again, a cheerful thought, there was the matter of the cult. With Excalibur causing a stir at every turn it was likely her prey would notice quite obviously that it was being tracked. But no matter what the Captain said, Atticus believed that without any true evidence of a changeling onboard, leaping to discover one in blood test sweeps across the ship was slightly premature. And slamming it on as an order before even the most minor of inquiries could be performed was mildly irritating to the Lieutenant Commander. “However, that’s you isn’t it Corizon?”, thought the yellowshirt to himself. “They’ll never put you in a desk job because you’ll give the poor secretaries lectures on proper shorthand and demand a vote on the new letterhead for the inter-office memo.” Atticus did consider the Dog a fine leader. Perhaps in some ways a perfect leader. Strong-willed, determined, tenacious and most definitely brave. But a total and utter pain in the arse when it came to departmental management. He grinned a cheeky grin on the inside at the thought of saving that line for their next inevitable brawl. The two of them seemed destined to butt horns for the rest of their days and he knew deep inside that Corizon probably enjoyed it anyway. Every canine loves a good bark every now and then. Currently though, these opinions would be kept secret. Just as Commander Teykier had cunningly and quietly sneaked out of his quarters in the darkest of hours on the previous night, he too would be stealthy. He would keep his emotions under the radar, deep below an official veneer. Every order would be followed and each decision, though possibly questioned would not be argued. This would not be the first time he had done this. But hopefully, if things did go right, it would go a lot better than his previous attempts. If not, it would be yet another duel of words. Looking over Ensign Praxx’s internal sensors he watched the patrols proceed with the blood tests.

Hah knew it. That Ion storm was getting so plugged. Love the log.

Its not favouritsm, but once again I'm gonna give it to Yolandon, with this caption... He was sure that he calculated the exact time of rapture. He was wrong. Take it away!

Heh, for a second I thought Kroe- er I mean Garrison was gonna take a poke at ya Cor. Love the log.

Trill!!!!!!!!!

Go for it!

When we at Easyjet say we got 1000's of people straight to beach this Easter, we aren't kidding.

Well done! Very prompt!

To: The Senior Security Staff From: Lieutenant Commander Atticus Segami It may come as a shock to you that I do intend to make the Excalibur security team the best in the fleet. We are on the fringes of known space and it is our actions that may have far reaching consequences on the future of the Federation. It is we who have been given the task of keeping this ship and its crew safe, it is we who must defend both with our very lives if needs be and who will be at the fore when the proverbial excrement collides with the fast-moving propeller. It is due to this glaring fact that I have decided to send out this memorandum and the ones that will follow on as regular a basis as possible. These communications will be a response to the situations we face and the changes that need to be made. It is you, the senior members of this department, who will make or break our overall effectiveness. Oh and to hell with the marines. We’re the real bad boys around here. Tactical Management I have noticed as of late, a recent uncoordinated display when it comes to manning the tactical consoles on the bridge. The other day I was shocked to see Lieutenant Junior Grade Kallah Ramson at one of our auxiliary consoles during an alert. This will not do. I do not impugn the possible talent our Minaran crewmate may possess but I feel it better she stick to what she knows and lets us handle our own territory. In response to this I feel it important to redefine the set of directives for how our department mans the bridge consoles. These procedures depend on knowledge of the CoC in our department it goes as follows. Lieutenant Commander Atticus Segami Lieutenant Mark Garrrison Lieutenant Junior Grade Doug T Lieutenant Junior Grade Victria of The House of Mordan Ensign Jaden H Praxx No Alert (Green) The main tactical console SHOULD be manned. The Auxiliary consoles can be left unmanned The senior officer on duty should always take the post at main tac. If that officer, myself or otherwise, has decided that they have a task that reasonably outweighs the importance of this, he/she should immediately contact the next ranking officer in the department and ask them to take the post. If that officer cannot take the post they must ask the next ranking officer after them. If all of the senior department members are found to be unavailable, another member of security will take the post. Yellow Alert The Main tactical console MUST be manned. The 1st Auxiliary console SHOULD be manned As usual, the senior departmental officer is expected to be at main tactical, if I cannot perform this task myself then I will contact the next ranking officer. Unlike the green alert, it is the senior officer’s decision on whether another task is worth doing instead. In addition to this, the officer at tactical must then contact the next available officer in the chain of command and tell them to take command of the 1st auxiliary console. The only exception to this is if another member of the department is already on the bridge, ready to take command of the auxiliary console. The main tactical console MUST always be manned. If a senior officer is coming up the bridge to relieve you of that post you must remain and man the console until the senior officer arrives. At that point, the post must be relinquished. Red Alert The Main tactical console MUST be manned The 1st Auxiliary console MUST be manned. The 2nd Auxiliary console and the additional phaser cannons SHOULD be manned Unlike the previous two modes of alert, it is assumed that without extreme circumstances, there is NO reason the top two senior members of the department’s staff should not be on the bridge, manning the main and 1st auxiliary console. Of course once again if there is already an officer present they may hold the 1st auxiliary post. It is the duty of the rest of the security staff, unless ordered otherwise by the acting chief of the department or the XO/CO, to delegate the remaining procedures between them. These tasks include manning the 2nd auxillary console, patrolling sensitive parts of the ship (such as engineering) and operation the additional phase cannons on Excalibur. I expect these procedures to be followed to the letter. TRAINING Lessons It has recently become known that I intend to run training sessions both for the department itself and for any crewmembers that wish to further their learning of essential skills to any member of Starfleet. I do this because your records show that you have not only the skills needed to impart useful knowledge, you also show the raw talent enough to be worthy of the chance to show you can tutor, that you can lead. The subjects of the training sessions are as follows. Demolitions and Explosives - Lieutenant Commander Atticus Segami Weapons and Tactics - Lieutenant Mark Garrrison Investigation and Criminal Procedure - Lieutenant Junior Grade Doug T Recon and Surveillance - Lieutenant Junior Grade Victria of The House of Mordan Hand to Hand Combat - Ensign Jaden H Praxx I would like each of you to send me (and only me) a description of what it is you will teach. As long or short as you like. I will then send this information with a report on the department I will soon give to our executive officer. She may be a furry cat, but she busted some serious ass working under me and though we loathe eachother it is to her standard as a security officer on board this that I hope you will all perform. Note: I have suggested and requested that Ensign H Praxx allows Lieutenant Junior Grade Victria to tutor his students in advanced and alternative techniques. This is merely a request and if so may be denied at his choice. If he does choose to involve Victria, I expect it to be mentioned in his lesson plan. I would also like an occasional visit to the tactical simulation on the holodeck by each of us. Just because we do it on the job doesn’t mean we don’t need a little extra bit to keep us on our toes. This means from now on I would like: A few lessons in your topic to be held That you try and attend eachother’s lessons That tactical training is upheld. Of course in the case of us all getting infected with a mutant killer bug or the ship spiraling into a black hole, I understand if lessons have to be rescheduled. This is a starship not a kindergarten after all. We all have things we need to do but I want this done. ILLEGAL WEAPONS STORAGE Recently it has come to my attention that there was an altercation in the sickbay recently and that at one point knives were mentioned. There is a problem on this ship with illegal weapons. Not a great one but still a problem. I would like quarters on this ship to be visited and the crew asked to provide any weapons they have for viewing. If anything they bring seems to be a threat to ships safety I would like it removed and placed in the security storage area. Don’t be excessive in harsh judgement. There’s a difference between one ceremonial heirloom sword and a crate of disrupter rifles. Whoever takes this task up will have to just be a good judge on what is an unnecessary contraband weapon and what isn’t. Any weapons collected can be reclaimed if the owners apply for them to be licensed onboard the ship but unless they do they will be held until they end their service on Excalibur. This is an open task and will be given out on a first come, first serve basis. Completion of it successfully will result in my requesting a merit in their record to the captain. This can be done between a few of you or one. Sort it amongst yourselves and message me. You will then have access to as much of the non-senior security staff as needed. This won’t make us popular with some crew but honestly, knives? The only ones who should be carrying weapons on this ship is us. FLIGHT DECK I want that flight deck guarded from any non-essential personnel until we are informed otherwise. Same for the bodies for our crewmen in the morgue. Two of you can have one of those jobs each. Its dull I know, but you don’t have to be on duty all the time. That’s why we have a whole department of officers you can put on the shifts. I just want someone overlooking them. Note: Whoever’s covering the flight deck write a report on that “religious incident” with our XO and send it to her and myself. Its not a complaint just a well circulated report. And Finally… BITING It shouldn’t have to come to you being told this Victria. Especially from me. But I’ve been informed from on high that you’re to keep your fangs in your mouth unless you’re in private quarters and the subject of your feeding can also not be intoxicated. In Conclusion… These are all the changes to be made and the new state of our department. Please contact me if necessary.

It has been a while since I recorded a personal log. I never was fond of the things and I have not recently found the time nor the inclination to do so since my re-instatement to the new Excalibur. Things…things have changed in me. Many things. Events that transpired during my break from service have taken quite an effect and every day I see the difference in me. In who I am. I saw corpses today. Bodies stripped of clothes and marked with terrible wounds. And I, I did not once feel a pang of sadness. Because simply put, it wasn’t me who did it. It wasn’t me who gave the order that sent them to their deaths. And more fools they were for not questioning such orders. My conscience is clear. When we brought them in, I am ashamed to say that the first thought that ran through my head was that I was happy. Happy that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about the loss and was emotionally off the hook. I look in the mirror and I make myself sick. Or more accurately, I wish I did. The reason I simple refuse to take any more guilt into my system is simple. I’m too guilty enough already. What I have done hangs over me and the only way I can hope to get it off my chest and out of my head is to say it. Lay out the whole damn thing to someone, even if its to just myself. I know now what other Trills’ meant when I first heard them speak of the curse. The defect of the Segami symbiont buried in me. They say that in each of its joinings there has always been a chance for the new host to be either blessed and exalted, or to be ruined and tainted. I now realize that it’s true and that its always been there, hidden deep within the symbiont itself, for much longer than most think. Those who’ve heard of the myth say it began with the actions of my third host, Marya Segami, when her insanity almost led to the complete destruction of the Federation Starship USS Entropy. But even long before that, my very first host, Raiya Segami, was nothing more than a petty thief who allowed priceless works of art to be lost forever on the black market. A less-than pretty fact that has not been discovered even to this day. Between my hosts there have indeed been some heroes, like Oran Segami the literary genius, Erian Segami the innovative scientist and Layor Segami the esteemed diplomat. But then again there was Daldera Segami the vicious smuggler and Mychori Segami the drug addicted philanderer. The symbiont has truly earned its title for enriching or corrupting it hosts. And now, now my name joins a list. I am one of the damned. And its because of another that this is so. The name of the person I speak of was “Ton Lyna”, and he was a Bajoran by race. During the Dominion War, while I wrote rebellious plays and drank myself to death back on Trill, he engaged in other sins. He murdered and lied, and stole and cheated. He was an enforcer for a group known as “The Orion Syndicate”. Though always infamous for its evil deeds, it is the syndicate’s terrible post-war legacy that is truly renowned. That they willingly co-operated with the Dominion in order to try and secure their future in a soon-to-be conquered Alpha Quadrant. Ton Lyna was one of the men who helped them do this. He eliminated Bajoran ministers who supported the Federation, he relayed information on Starship troop maneuvers to the enemy and was even involved in the kidnapping of a Starfleet Commander. He betrayed his own people to the enemy. After the war however, it was obvious the Orion syndicate had backed the wrong side. Precious resources had been wasted, entire crime families lay in ruins through Dominion meddling and one by one people went down for their crimes. Ton Lyna was eventually found in a backwater port of call, trying to secure passage under a fake name with a case full of currency. After his initial arrest he was ordered to stand trial in a Federation court for his sins and so it was arranged for him to be transported to earth on a Starfleet vessel called the “USS Shanghai”. This is where our paths crossed. And my life changed. I was serving aboard the USS Shanghai for my first assignment as what is known as a ‘rotating bridge officer’. The role is used on some ships to train those who would like to jump up the command ladder through overall experience. I would change posts every so often to a different part of the bridge, usually to fill a vacancy. I had studied hard at the academy to be a security man instead of this but my recent joining with the Segami symbiont had given me a change of mind as to the basis of my Starfleet career. However I did still enjoy a few drinks and training activities with the yellow shirts…which is how I eventually met Kathleen. She was simply beautiful. Beautiful in almost every way. Which after living as long as I have, is saying quite a lot. She had these eyes you could stare into for hours and dark chestnut hair which felt like silk as I ran my fingers through it at night. And that smile…you could melt glaciers with that smile. It was like…like… … It doesn’t matter what it was like does it? There wasn’t anything left of it when that bastard was finished with her. Just a mash of teeth, blood and bruising. When Ton Lyna was put on board for his transfer it was Kathleen who got guard duty in the brig. I didn’t know what had happened to her till it was too late. Until O’Connor, chief of security on the Shanghai woke me up from my slumber and showed me her lying in the morgue. I was told that Ton had tried to escape. That by the time he’d been arrested he had already hidden a blade and a field disabling device under the flesh of his left leg. Our scans never found the damn thing and I’ll never figure out why. When Kathleen had her back turned, he activated the device and got the drop on her. She fought hard and gave him a few bruises but couldn’t stop the final lunge that pierced her heart and ended her life. Ton Lyna didn’t even make it to the shuttlebay before he was caught. And on that day, the man I was died. When the time finally came for Lyna to face the music, a couple of years later, Federation priorities had changed. The powers that be didn’t mind forgetting relative “small fry” like him and instead wanted all the dirt they could get the big fish. He got immunity for all his wartime actions and was entered into the witness protection scheme. They placed him in a secluded residential area on an out of the way planet with a tracking unit on his ankle. He was supposed to testify on all his bosses at the end of the month. Within 3 days, he’d broken free and was off the radar. During this period, I transferred to security, got posted to the USS Excalibur, got promoted, got given my own department to run and generally tried to get on with my life. But just because a chapter of your life ends, it doesn’t mean you don’t keep re-reading it. The love I had for Kathleen poisoned me. I went over what happened again and again in my head, wishing I could go back and change things. Wishing I could wake my own ass up and send myself to save her from being impaled. But I couldn’t do that, so in the end I did the only thing I could. I focused on revenge. With the knowledge of several lifetimes spent amongst the criminal underworld and my ever-increasing security status I hunted Ton Lyna. With each promotion gained, I used its access to restricted files to find the man who thought he could walk away from it all. When I was given charge of the department and my third pip I had enough intel track the bastard down. So when the old Excalibur was decommissioned I did just that. I traveled amongst the scum of society, I changed my appearance and removed everything from myself related to Starfleet. I questioned thugs and squeelers till I got what I wanted, a location. Lyna had returned to the fold. Still wanted across the quadrant by the authorities he was laying low under the benevolence of a middle-ranking mob boss. Putting up his feet in a mansion, he was also being guarded by a handful of syndicate goons. I waited till nightfall before I made my move. There is nothing like Starfleet security training to make taking out goons so much fun. One by one I picked them off, with a rifle set to stun. I only wanted Ton and besides it wouldn’t be practical to declare war on the Orion syndicate, they’ve killed me once before and it wasn’t nice. He knew I was coming from the start. He wasn’t a fool and he still had plenty of informants to tell him all about me. He said this as I lay on the floor of his sleeping quarters, catching my breath after being thrown into a mirror. He said he found it amusing and was honestly confused with why I still “gave a ######” after all this time. He even offered me the chance to leave, with a wad of cash in my hand no less. But I told him exactly what I thought of that. I told him after I tackled him, stuck him with a piece of broken glass and began to throttle him precisely why I couldn’t “let go”. And that’s it. I took his Bajoran earring as a keepsake and left. Forever tainted, a murderer. It would confuse people to know why I really did it. Scare them even. I do not pretend that I did what I did out of devotion to Kathleen. I had indeed moved on and had attempted to continue a love life. I did it because I wanted my pound of flesh. Plain and simple. The Segami curse continues. And I now feel…empty. This difference in me has been impossibly heavy to withstand. I do not know if this has been noticed by the other crew. And though I am tempted to tell my twisted tale to Victria knowing that she alone like no other could understand my need for vengeance, I am not sure if she trusts me still. I have no intention of being betrayed and prosecuted for ridding the world of such an evil man. So there I have it. My whole story laid out crystal clear. This confessional has eased my soul. It shall be such a pity when I erase it. But I cannot risk stupidity in what is a purely therapeutic exercise. And a wonderful exercise it has been. Dr. Zier could only wish to be as useful. I suppose dramatic cliché’s still get me. Must be in the blood. Computer…delete log.

Excalithong. No romance killer quite like it.

And for just pure wrongness, the winner is Hadrian Yolandon! With this stellar entry... Take it away Hadrian.