Nicolas Lepage

Welcome to STSF Mike. I'm one of those Europe based players Marx mentioned. I'd suggest you try out a few academies you can attend and if you graduate, a sim on Friday (Saturday morning for us) might actually be feasible. Depending on how much sleep you need, you should be up by the time the football matches start. :rolleyes: I hope to see you in the academies!

Well, part of the house like this...maybe. My bedroom would definitely look more like the captain's quarters or something because I'm actually quite partial to my bed. The gues room, however, would look like a brig. And like Chirakis said, a microwave that looked like a replicator would be cool.

Welcome Marika. Don't worry about the lunatic part. I get up at 4 am to sim so there you go. Hope you enjoy simming with us and euh...yeah what Marx said.

A joint log by Annabelle O'Hallorand and Simon Ljungberg Anna left Debbie's office, Tootsie Pops still clutched in one hand, thinking how nice Reaent's Chief Medical Officer was. Actually, everyone in Medical had been very friendly. Dr. Merina, the Caitian who passionately defended the lobster named Mr. Pinchie and Simon, the Petty Officer who's work she'd interrupted to say hello. She wondered if she should apologize for that, although Dr. Matthews hadn't seemed annoyed, really. Anna glanced around looking for Simon and smiled as she saw him come into Main Sickbay from one of the other rooms. Simon just came back from one of the storage rooms to fetch some hydrocortilene. When he looked up he saw Anna and returned her smile. He had no idea why but apparently this new Ensign liked him. He decided to be nice for once and walked up to her. "I see you survived your physical. Been to the labs yet?" "Well, it was only a quick scan; I like to think I'm made of tougher stuff than that, and no, I haven't been to any of the labs or even checked in with the department. I'm on my way there now. Medical was my first stop." Anna was excited to see where she'd be working. Reaent was a big ship with 30 decks and Life Sciences combined had use of at least 7 labs. There was a lot to get familiarized with. Simon raised an eyebrow and looked surprised. "You're new and the first thing you think of is your physical? Usually one of the docs has to drag the new people in." He turned around and put down the vials. "There's not much to do here at the moment. I'm up for my break anyway. If you want to I can show you to the labs. I mean I know how it is on a new ship. You get lost all the time." Anna looked suspiciously at Simon for a moment but then relaxed. There was no way he could be aware that she lacked even the vaguest sense of direction. She had already begun committing Reaent's deck manifest to memory so she could avoid those embarrassing moments where she walked out onto a deck and then had to turn immediately around only to find that the turbo lift had already rushed off to somewhere else. "Simon, that's very nice of you, and if you're sure you have time, I'd really appreciate it." "Ok, hang on," he hurried to say. Then he turned around, opened a drawer and tossed the vials inside. "Alright, done. Let's go." Leading the way out of sickbay, Simon hoped no one would open the drawer until he'd come back. Anna felt a little surprised by Simon's casual if not completely cavalier treatment of whatever was in the vials he chucked into the drawer. She reminded herself that Medical didn't usually work with unstable elements as a matter of course and put it out of her mind as she followed Simon from Main Sickbay into the corridor. "Simon, how long have you've been on Reaent?" He'd mentioned it before she had her interview with Debbie and said something about having to have rehab. She was curious what he'd had rehab for and decided to ask about it in a roundabout way. He frowned as he tried to remember when exactly he'd come back. "Well, I came back here a few months ago. Nothing much has changed, really...well we got some new folks obviously but other than that..." He trailed off and shrugged, suddenly wondering whether Anna knew what had happened to the ship. They reached the turbo lift and Anna turned, facing Simon. "You said you'd been away for a while, for rehab. Do you mind if I ask you what it was for?" She searched his expression to see if maybe this wasn't a subject he'd be comfortable with. Simon shrugged again. He didn't mind talking about it. After all he had enjoyed most of his stay. Mr. and Mrs. Matthews had been really nice to him. "I got hurt during an attack on the ship. It was pretty bad. Got stuck under a piece of bulkhead. My spine snapped in several places and I couldn't walk for a while. But now I'm as good as new." He grinned as he turned to enter the turbo lift when it arrived. "Actually, considering Mrs. Matthews' cooking, I'm surprised I didn't gain enough weight to make me unfit for duty." Anna followed Simon into the turbo lift, her smile more in response to his grin than anything else. He'd been catastrophically injured and was probably lucky to be alive. "Mrs.. Matthews? Is that any relation to Dr. Matthews?" "Oh, yeah, that's Doctor Matthews' grandmother. It's a long and probably boring story." Simon paused for a second to think. "Deck 6....I think that's where the labs are." He looked around to see Anna frown. "I'm just kidding," he hurried to say with a smile. "I know that's where the science labs are." "It might be a long story but I doubt it's a boring one, Simon." Anna wondered how Simon ended up with the CMO's grandmother. Simon wondered whether that was an invitation to share his story. He decided that it was and took a few moment to figure out where to start. "Well, after it was obvious I couldn't stay here for rehab Doctor Matthews suggested a couple of facilities. Since my family and I are not exactly close I chose the ones at Utopia Planitia. Doctor Matthews had said someone would take care of me there...turns out it was her grandmother. Really cool lady and a mean cook but no one you'd want to mess with, trust me." Simon fell silent. There would have been more to say...about his family never coming to see him, how much he'd enjoyed his weekends at the Matthews' home, how he'd enjoyed not feeling like a nuisance for once. But that part wasn't something he'd talk about just as comfortably. Anna watched the shadows of old memories chase across Simon's face and wondered what he wasn't saying. Still, there was a limit to what you could ask someone you'd only met in the last hour. Even for her. "She sounds like a wonderful person and it looks like everything's ok, now. How long were you on Mars? Any residual problems from the injury?" The turbo lift had stopped and Anna stepped out turning to face Simon as he followed her. When they stepped out of the turbo lift Simon checked to his left and right to get his bearings. "This way," he said indicating the corridor to the left. "I was in rehab for about 6 months. There are no problems whatsoever...well, sometimes my back still hurts a little but it's ok...nothing to get worried about. So how about you, this is your first assignment, right? Did you want to get on a ship like Reaent or were you hoping for something else?" Anna fell into step alongside Simon as he steered them down the left corridor, "Reaent is my first post and I didn't even really hope to get assigned to a ship like this. I feel really lucky to be here, Simon." Anna stopped and put her hand on his arm, halting him, and waited till he turned to face her. "Being here, wearing this uniform--it's a culmination of something I had to fight for. Don't you feel lucky to be here?" Simon opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again. When he realized he'd been standing there with his mouth open for a few seconds he hastily closed it again. "Euh...yeah, right." Then he burst out laughing even though he knew it would definitely confuse and most likely offend Anna. "I'm sorry," he managed to say after a moment. "Well, sorry...it's just that...you see, all my family's in Starfleet. They are all officers...chiefs, commanders, captains, whatever. I'm a bit of a disappointment. I've been more fighting for them to realize that I'm not like them." Anna didn't know what to say. Apparently his family wasn't thrilled with the fact that Simon was a noncom. He was still in Starfleet though. He hadn't 'turned his back' on his heritage and flown in the face of all that was traditional and expected. Anna shoved her father's words back to that little corner of her mind where their sharp teeth couldn't snap at anything vital. "You're still in Starfleet. You may have gone about it differently than your other family members but you're still part of something that means so much." "Yeah, well, it just wasn't what they expected. My grandfather had to call in a favor or two just to get me into the Academy and then I went and almost got myself thrown out after only a few weeks." Simon actually grinned at the memory. He had had a hard time at the Academy but sometimes it had been fun, too. "Anyway, I keep hearing how my brother's such a good example, how I screwed up...yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, I'm glad you actually like being here. Why did you go into science?" From the grin on Simon's face, Anna realized that almost getting thrown out of the Academy was a treasured memory. He seemed almost to relish being some kind of 'screw-up'. And the reference to his brother as a glowing example reminded her of something... And then she realized he was just looking at her, waiting patiently for a response. "I enjoyed the classes in school and because I showed an interest my uncle encouraged and tutored me so that I could take the Academy entrance exam." Without the rest of the family's knowledge, she added to herself. Anna didn't think she could convey to Simon the longing she'd always felt to know how, to know why, to just know more. Most of her family didn't understand it, didn't understand her--why would he? Simon nodded. In a way he understood her. Being a bad student didn't mean he didn't enjoy learning. It was just his way to rebel against his family. "Looks like he did a good job, huh? I mean, you passed the exam, obviously. Your family must be proud of you." "My family has no Starfleet tradition like yours does, Simon. I wouldn't say they were proud exactly but they seem to have come to a grudging acceptance. Most of them." The corridor outside of the Science Department offices was not the place to get into a conversation about how her family/clan dynamics worked. No outsider could really understand it anyway. She hadn't realized how completely insular her family's world was until she'd stepped outside of it. "I guess grudging acceptance is what you could call my parents' attitude toward my career choice, too. It's not like they've ever been proud of anything I did." They had arrive just outside the science labs and Simon leaned back against the bulkhead. He tried to avoid Anna's gaze. There was a part in him that still believed he hadn't done much to be proud of. He didn't want to think about it too much right now. Anna looked at the doors that led to the Science offices and thought that once she stepped through them, everything would be different. Everything leading up to this point became background and the real challenges would begin. She glanced over to Simon and saw him slouched against the side of the bulkhead, something about him struck a chord in her and she replayed his words in her head. He didn't think his parents were proud of him and his older brother was held up as a constant example. Simon Ljungberg reminded her of her younger brother Liam. Not in looks but in manner. Liam said similar things now that she came to think of it and there was something about the stance, the 'I dare you' look in the eyes that was the same. "Simon, I don't think our families ever really understand us as we'd like them to. Sometimes, you might have to make your own family; find the place that's right for you." That reply surprised Simon a little. He really hadn't expected it. He looked up and frowned. "Yeah, maybe you're right but it sucks anyway. I mean, why do they care about what I do as long as I don't ask them for money and don't get arrested? It's just...well, this is my life and I have to live it and be happy with my choices not they." "And you're exactly right, Simon. It is your life and you have to live it for you-not for them. Someday they might come around but if they don't, it's their loss." Anna grinned and offered him one of the Tootsie Pops Debbie had given her back in Sickbay. "Here, I think you could use one." Simon took the Tootsie Pop and a broad grin spread across his face. "Thanks. So, are you planning to go in at all?" he asked pointing at the doors in front of him. "Yes, and thank you for the escort, Petty Officer 1st Class Ljungberg." Anna took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and started walking through the doors as they opened at her approach. Simon pushed off of the bulkhead and straightened up to give a salute. "You're welcome Ensign O'Halloran, ma'am." Anna heard the "ma'am" and threw a scowl over her shoulder which turned into a grin as the doors closed behind her.

Joint log by Carole-Anne Lepage (aka Annabelle O'Halloran) and Nick Lepage Nick sat down behind his desk. The monitor in front of him was flashing, showing he had new messages. He quickly checked to see who had tried to reach him. "Oh, great," he muttered as he scrolled down the short list and saw his sister's name. It was the fifth or sixth time this week that she had tried to reach him. Guess I have no choice, he thought as he contacted the OPS officer in charge to open a channel to Earth. It took only a couple of minutes for Carole-Anne's face to appear on the screen. Nick forced a smile. "Salut Caro, comment ça va?" "Mon Dieu, Nick! Enfin! Ou étais tu? I've been trying to reach you for ages!" Carol-Anne felt the tiredness of a long day at the Clinic slip away at the sight of her brother's face. She had been leaving him messages for months and tried to remember the last time she'd spoken with him. Had it really been four months? They had always been so close and she had been missing him terribly. "How are you?" She softened her tone, not even a little irritated, just so happy to see and hear him. She frowned, thinking he looked a little thinner, a little tired. Suddenly Nick felt a little guilty for not keeping in touch with his family. But after all that had happened lately he wanted some time to himself. He knew that his mother would have insisted he talk about what was bothering him. And Carole-Anne...well, she was even worse in that respect. As a psychologist it was her job to make people talk and she was good at it. Nick had a feeling he would have to make a real effort to get around answering her question. Where had he been? He didn't feel like discussing it. "I'm doing great, thanks. You know how it is: lots of work, little time off. How is everyone?" "Caro narrowed her eyes at his breezy tone. "Everyone is doing fine, Nick. Ma and Pa are well as are the other members of the Lepage horde. I won't go into details about the other eleven--I'll save that for you to find out when you call Ma, which I am sure you're going to do very soon." Caro's smile dimpled as she teased him. There were thirteen Lepage children and Caro knew it wasn't easy trying to keep up with their activities and she still lived in the same town. She moved a little closer to the monitor and caught his eyes. "Ok, I know you've been busy, but you've been very busy before and I've still heard from you. Tell me what you've been doing? How's everything on Aegis?" Nick took a deep breath. It was good to know everyone was doing ok. Now he had to come up with a plan to distract Caro from her mission to find out what had happened. "Hmm...what do you think I've been doing, Caro? I'm a doctor. I treat patients." He grinned to make sure his sister understood he was trying to be funny. "Nothing new on my end actually...oh except...you know DJ, DJ McKinny, my former chief? Well she's back. We have a bunch of diplomats on the station now. " At this point he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, DJ's in charge of the dips' sickbay." He hoped that the mention of DJ would prompt Caro to ask about their relationship rather than the reason for his reluctance to communicate. "DJ...yes, of course, I remember you talking about her. I'm glad you're working together again." Caro cocked her head and smiled a little; there was something about how he said DJ's name... "Diplomats? I'm glad things in that area are calming down enough that it's safe to bring the diplomatic corps on board. As I recall, Aegis is in a real hotspot and has come under fire before." Caro kept her tone casual, "And, DJ...how does she like being back? You two are on an equal footing now that she's no longer your chief." Nick couldn't help but smile as Carole mentioned that he and DJ were now on equal footing. He remembered long conversations with his younger sister when DJ had still been his chief during which he had expressed his feelings for DJ and his frustration at the difficult situation. "Well, let's just say DJ wasn't too happy to find out she'd be moving from Florida back out here but...hmm...I don't exactly mind having her around. We're sorta..well seeing each other. But she isn't too happy with..." Nick caught himself just in time. He had almost told Carole about the argument he and DJ had had a few days ago. That would inevitably have led to the question what exactly he was trying not to talk about. That was close, he thought as he tried to think of something to say. "Well she isn't too happy with being back out here without getting any warning, you see." Caro felt a rush of happiness for her brother. Nick had told her a long time ago that he'd had feelings for DJ and the situation had been difficult for him. His casual 'Well we're sort of seeing each other' didn't fool her for a second. DJ was obviously very important to him and Caro had seen the happiness that warmed his expression before...before he said DJ wasn't happy. Wasn't happy about what? About going back to a base where she was in charge of the medical care of an entire diplomatic wing? About being able to be with Nick? "I am so happy for you and DJ, Nick. I know how you've always felt about her." Caro looked at her brother and let a long pause go by before asking, "What isn't DJ happy about, Nick? A woman with a career in Starfleet, handed a big plum of an assignment and then finding herself in a relationship with a man like you isn't going to whine about having to leave Florida. What's really the problem?" Damn! Damn, damn damn! It took Nick quite a bit of self-control to restrain himself from hitting his head on the desk. "Look, there've been a few things going on and well, DJ isn't too happy about how I handle...well stuff. We had a little...hue...discussion about it and everything's fine." Even to Nick this sounded lame. He knew Carole-Anne would ask what on Earth he was talking about. But it was worth a try. Maybe she'd realize he didn't want to talk about it. Listening to her normally articulate brother stumble over his words, Caro chose her own carefully since Nick obviously wanted to let the subject drop. "DJ doesn't like the way you handle 'stuff'. What 'stuff'?." He was her brother and one of her best friends. If he wanted his privacy he'd have to fight for it. Nick hung his head and gave in. He was tired and not in the mood for arguments. "Alright, you win but if you tell Ma and Pa or...well anyone else I'll come home and lock you in the wardrobe like I did when you threatened to tell on me when I ate all the cookies Mamie had baked for your birthday." Taking a deep breath Nick tried to think of a way to tell his little sister what had happened. Caro smiled at the reference to the cookies and her brief incarceration in the wardrobe. She watched Nick struggle with himself. This was new to her. Her brother was always so confident, so sure of himself. Whatever was bothering him wasn't easy and she didn't say anything; she just waited to hear what could be so difficult. After taking another deep breath and closing his eyes briefly, Nick focused his eyes on a point on the opposite wall just above the screen. The he started to tell Carole-Anne about how he had been captured and tortured by Cardassians, how he had been rescued and about his struggle to deal with the experience. "...So you see, it's not like it's a big deal," he said trying to reassure her. "I'm ok, really. I just still have those nightmares and DJ...well I just don't want to sound like I'm whining all the time, you know." He wasn't looking at her as he related the terrible things that had been done to him. The tenor of his voice never changed and Caro, her arms folded across her chest resisted the urge to curl into herself and let go of the sobs she could feel building in her throat. She had no control over the tears that slipped down her face and she welcomed the feeling of rage that swiftly followed the terrible painful grief surging through her at the, no doubt edited for her ears, version of the beatings suffered at the hands of the Cardassians. It took her a few moments before she could trust herself to speak and even then she could hear her reaction in her voice. "What....what has the counselor said about the nightmares?" There was so much she wanted to say to him; her heart was breaking for him and she was unaccountably angry with him for not telling her sooner. He'd been reliving the hell for months, night after night it sounded like and he was worried about DJ thinking he was a whiner? If she'd been in DJ's shoes she probably would have punched him and then held onto him like she'd never let him go. After he had finished talking he looked at the screen to see his sister crying. Nick wished he could reach out and hug her. He felt bad for making her go through this. "The counselor said it was normal that, you know, after such a traumatic event it'd take a while to well, get back to normal. You're the psychologist, Caro, you know how it is. I'll be fine. Trust me." Caro wiped the tears away knowing they would be back with a vengeance later. At least he was seeing a counselor. And as far as getting back to normal, she knew very well and so did he that there was no going back. You learned to adjust and you continued on but you never would or could forget. Nick's short term problem seemed to be how he was handling it with DJ. She must have witnessed the nightmares and he probably tried to gloss them over the way he was doing right now. "I'm glad you're seeing the counselor, Nick and yes, I'm a psychologist and yes...I know. I also know that whoever is close to you needs to have a good understanding of what you're going through to be as supportive as they can be. Does DJ know how often you have the nightmares? Has your ability to get good rest been compromised by them?" Nick shrugged. He wasn't sure what to say. Partly he was relieved that he finally told his sister what had happened but he didn't want her to worry about him. Still, he didn't want to lie to her either. "I never told DJ how often I have those nightmares but I bet her guess is pretty good anyway. I mean, there's hardly a night when I don't wake up at least once but it's ok. You know me, Caro. I prefer dealing with those things on my own. I'm just not used to talking about it and I guess that's why DJ's getting a little frustrated." Caro was betting that DJ was getting more than a 'little frustrated' but that would be up to her to deal with. "Yes", she responded dryly, "I'm sure you do like dealing with these 'things' on your own, but tell me, Nick--how often is it that you are captured and tortured by Cardassians? I don't recall that happening before but maybe I missed it." He could be so insanely stubborn sometimes. She was still not over the shock of what he had told her and maybe she wouldn't be for a very long time but she wasn't going to give into the temptation of letting him get her angry. He looked very tired and she wondered if he was using medication to sleep...and to stay awake. She asked him. For a moment Nick was irritated by Caro's response. She had a way to drive him crazy. "You know what I mean, Caro. If it's not Cardassians it's the Breen, a freak freighter or species 8472 attacking the station. I knew what I was getting myself into when I joined Starfleet and I never complained about it. This time is different. You know I really thought I..." He didn't finish the sentence. There was no need to actually spell it out. After a brief pause he continued. "Anyway, I don't take any meds on a regular basis...just sometimes." Nick felt like it was high time to change the subject even though Carole-Anne would probably not like his attempt to steer the conversation to safer ground. "So how about you? How about the job? And what about your love life, little sis?" He grinned knowing that Caro must have a hard time dealing with their grandmother expecting her grandchildren to start families of their own. Caro understood what Nick was trying to say-he'd thought this incident with the Cardassians might have meant his death, the ultimate sacrifice that Starfleet sometimes required of its members. There was no response to that--he had known what he was getting into. She was so proud of him for what he had accomplished in Starfleet and she would never want him to be any less than what he was but she wasn't going to tell him how afraid she was for him. He didn't need her to state the obvious. However, he was also crazy if he thought he was dumping the whole 'great grandchild' responsibility onto her! "Don't even go there. We're discussing your private life not mine. Mamie is like a broken record on the subject. I never even mention when I have a date because then I'll be nagged until I bring the poor guy home for a meal. And the couple of times I made the mistake of doing that, I was embarrassed to death. No man likes to be asked if he's thinking of settling down or looked over as potential breeding stock. Hah, you think you have nightmares!" Nick couldn't help but laugh. Their grandmother was desperate for great grandchildren and she never left out an opportunity for inquiring about the chances she'd have some soon. As far as he was concerned, Nick wanted to wait for a while until he'd get an assignment a little closer to Earth. Maybe even until a time after Starfleet. His father had been disappointed when Nick had told him he wanted to pursue a career in Starfleet. His grandmother, knowing such a decision would mean Nick wouldn't have children anytime soon, was about to disinherit him, Nick had been sure of that. "Hey, all you have to do is find a guy and have lots of children." He laughed even harder as he saw the frown on Caro's face. "Mamie will just have to deal with it. Don't worry." The sound of Nick's laughter was so good that Caro almost forgave him for that last crack. Almost. "Easy for you to say, you're 10 billion light years away, or whatever." "Uh huh, can you imagine what it'll be like when I get home and introduce DJ. Mamie'll probably ask her how many children we're planning to have and when we will finally get started. I don't want to even think about it. Though it'd be fun to see all of you again. I can't believe I haven't even seen Benoît except on this little screen." Nick felt a pang of regret at this thought. He was happy with how things had turned out. His career in Starfleet was advancing well and he had found a new home aboard Aegis. But he missed his family and Caro knew that very well but it was the trade off for a career in Starfleet. "Well, Benoît has been growing like a weed and Ma is so happy because he's finally out of diapers. You know what this means don't you?" Caro met Nick's eyes and nodded solemnly, "I'm praying to God she doesn't decide to go ahead and try for number fourteen." Nick smiled. He remembered very well the time when he was still on 'diaper duty' as he liked to call it. "Don't worry, they've run out of names. Though maybe if they are superstitious....you never know." Carol rolled her eyes and made a swiping motion at the monitor. "Bite your tongue." It was so good to be teasing with him-just like old times. "Nick, I am glad to hear you've been missing the family. One of the reasons I've been trying to reach you is to let you know I'm coming to visit you. I have some leave coming up from the Clinic and I've already booked my passage." She leaned back and smiled at him. "My tickets are non-refundable." Fait accompli. Now he was speechless. "Wow...Caro...that's..." Nick didn't finish the sentence but instead a wide grin spread across his face. It would be so good to see his sister again. "I can't wait. I'll try to get a couple of days off but I can't promise anything. Is anyone else coming or just you?" "Oh, please--I am coming to get away from the brood. It's just me." She grinned back, happy to see he seemed glad about her visit. "I know you're busy and I didn't expect you to be able to drop everything but it's just been too long and if the mountain won't come to Mohammed..." She really had been missing him terribly and the truth was she did want to get away from home. And after what he'd just revealed about what he'd been through, she was more determined than ever to see for herself how he was. "Alright, I'll start making plans. And don't you dare come up with any reason whatsoever not to come. We can have a food fight in the officers mess.......oh the possibilities. So when are you coming?" "Ah, that's my brother--mature as always." Caro's eyes twinkled with amusement. "I should be there in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, the station will still be in one piece by the time I arrive." Nick sat up a little straighter and his face changed into a serious expression. "Of course I'm mature. The engineering guys are pretty good at what they are doing so even if something happens I'm sure they'll have fixed it by the time you show up. Anyway, it's getting late and I need to get going. So I'll see you in about two weeks?" Caro nodded, and put her fingers to the monitor. "Two weeks. Nick. Take care of yourself, and bonne nuit." "Bonne nuit, Caro!" With that his sister disappeared and Nick switched off the screen. Well that went better than I thought. And she's coming in two weeks. He couldn't help but smile as he got up and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower

"Damnit," Robin muttered as he looked first at his tricorder then to his chief. His expression mirrored Nick's thoughts. After the attack sickbay had become the station's ICU and only the most seriously injured patients had been transferred here. So far there were six, all of them in a very critical condition. It looked like the young Lieutenant lying on the biobed in front of Robin and Nick wouldn't make it through the night. Too extensive were the burns covering most of her body and too devastating were the internal injuries caused by the explosion she had obviously witnessed. "It's alright, Robin," Nick said, reaching over and closing the Petty Officer's tricorder. "There's not much we can do except make sure she won't feel any pain." Those were the hardest moments in this job. Admitting defeat despite the technology and some of the best trained medical personnel in the quadrant was never easy. Watching a young woman die and not being able to do anything for her was even worse. But now they had to focus on their jobs. There were five other patients in this sickbay who needed their full attention. There simply wasn't time to dwell on such things...not now. "C'mon, let's check on Crewman Patterson and see whether her vital signs have stabilized." Nick moved on to the next bed, knowing that Robin was following him, already pulling up the new data on his PADD. Out of the corner of his eye Nick saw DJ rush from one of the offices into the OR. He guessed she had been busy hastily planning the surgery she was going to perform now, before it was too late. Before he could even ask which of the patients was scheduled for surgery DJ had vanished behind the closing doors of the OR and Nick stepped up to the biobed. One quick glance around sickbay told him that this would be a long night.

By Drs DJ McKinny and Nick Lepage Nick was lying on the sofa in DJ's quarters. He was just about to doze off while DJ had gone to take a shower. Gilbert was lying next to him, his head on Nick's belly, sleeping. Suddenly the room went completely dark and Nick was soaking wet. He was shivering and couldn't quite suppress the feeling of imminent danger. A crack sounded behind him and he felt a sharp pain searing across his back. As he looked around, he noticed a dim light coming closer until it stopped right next to his face. A soft hum seemed to emanate from the light and panic rose in the CMO. A moment later the world was pain. Nick screamed out and jerked awake with a start. It took Nick a few seconds to remember where he was. Gilbert was sitting on his legs, barking. DJ came running out of the bathroom, her hair still wet and a look of alarm on her face. Running a hand over his face, Nick noticed he was drenched in sweat. DJ had just stepped out of the shower when she heard muffled groans coming from the main living area. At first, she thought it was Gilbert....snoring. While he slept, the basset hound regularly serenaded her with his impressive repertoire of peculiar sounds. But it only took a moment for her to realize something else was going on and it had nothing to do with her dog. Nick came by an hour earlier and invited her out for dinner. DJ had just gotten in after spending several hours in the "construction zone." Real headway had been made on the diplomatic wing and DJ had gone over to check out the new medical facility. She'd originally planned to stay for no more than a few minutes, just long enough to make sure they were really making progress. She wound up conferring with engineers and technicians for most of the day. By the time she got home, she was covered in what could only be described as old fashioned dirt. She readily accepted Nick's offer for dinner but she couldn't go anywhere until she'd taken a shower. DJ insisted she wouldn't be long so Nick stretched out on her sofa to relax while he waited for her. When she heard the terrified scream coming from the living area, she knew immediately what had happened. She tore from the bathroom and grabbed a lightweight robe off the foot of her bed. She had barely pulled it on when she stepped into the living area to find Nick sitting upright on the sofa with a slightly overweight basset hound settled on his legs, barking loudly. She walked toward them and carefully ushered Gilbert to the floor. Nick was sweating as though he'd just run a marathon. In a way, she supposed he had. It was obvious he'd fallen asleep on her sofa and then had a nightmare. She assumed it was the same one he'd been having since he was tortured during a recent away mission. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, sitting down beside him as droplets of water fell from her shoulder length hair. Nick was still a little confused but he had finally figured out where he was. He blushed as he realized what exactly had just happened. Most of all he felt bad for scaring DJ like that. "Yeah," he said in a hoarse voice. "Fell asleep...I'm sorry, I had a bit of a bad dream." Sitting up he looked around trying to avoid DJ's gaze. It was bad enough when he woke up like this at night when he was alone but that it had happened here while DJ was there made him feel stupid. DJ knew he still had nightmares almost every night and that some nights he got hardly any sleep at all but he had always avoided talking about it. Right now he wasn't sure what to do or how DJ would react. So he just sat there and stared at his hands which he had folded in front of him. DJ tried to be discreet as she studied Nick's troubled expression. He refused to make eye contact choosing instead to stare at his hands. He seemed embarrassed and she suddenly felt like she was intruding. Had it been anyone else, she would have walked away right then and there. But this was Nick Lepage and he wasn't just anyone. Nick was special and becoming more so with each passing day. And he was suffering. Granted, it hadn't been that long since his encounter with the Cardassian interrogator whose techniques for extracting information involved extreme physical cruelty. A few weeks earlier, he admitted he occasionally had bad dreams in which he relived some part of the ordeal. That hadn't surprised DJ in the least. Who wouldn't have nightmares after being subjected to such abuse. But he hadn't mentioned them lately and for one reason or another, she just assumed he was no longer troubled by them. Obviously, she was wrong. Something else was obvious as well. DJ never realized until now how intense those nightmares were. These were the type of dreams that kept people from sleeping. They could become debilitating and the fact he was still plagued by them at this point in time was very concerning. She placed one of her hands over his while using the other to gently, yet firmly, lift his chin and force him to look at her. "Would you like to talk about it?" she asked in little more than a whisper. For the fraction of a second Nick considered getting up and putting a little distance between DJ and him. He wasn't very comfortable but he doubted it had much to do with DJ's presence. Walking away now wouldn't change the fact that she had witnessed something he had never meant to admit. It wouldn't make him feel less guilty about making her worry either. The only thing he'd accomplish would be putting more than just physical distance between them and that was the last thing he wanted. So he allowed DJ to make him meet her eyes. Her concern was apparent. Nick tried to think of something to say. "Uh, the ever dreaded question," he said with a grin. DJ bit her tongue to keep from snapping at Nick. His poor attempt to make light of this wasn't unexpected but it was unappreciated....and she wasn't going to let him get away it. The frown on DJ's face told him his feeble attempt at a joke was not well received. "I'm sorry," he hurried to say. "I know it's not funny but I just don't know...I mean I do see a counselor. I guess these dreams are something I'll have to live with for a while. I don't want to bother you with this. You've got enough on your plate as it is." Now she was irked. "Is that what you think?" she remarked withdrawing her hand from his chin. "That you're bothering me?" She patted his folded hands and then stood up. Taking a couple of steps away from the sofa, she turned to meet his gaze. "I'll tell you what bothers me, Nick, " she continued, clearly irritated. "It bothers me that you're afraid to admit you're having a problem dealing with what happened to you." DJ turned her back to him and planted her hands on her hips. "I don't know if you're really seeing a counselor. And I don't know what you say or don't say during those sessions." She threw her hands up and started toward the bedroom door. "But I have to wonder if your as reticent with him as you are with me." She stopped at the door and turned to look at him. "I thought you understood that I care about you. When people care, they help each other deal with life's dilemmas. But you seem to think....." She stopped abruptly and turned back to him, not altogether pleased by the way she was handling this. But she meant every word said and was genuinely annoyed with herself for feeling the way she did. While DJ had been speaking Nick kept sitting on the sofa, watching her. He was a little surprised at this outbreak. Now he was getting annoyed. What did she expect? And what on earth made her question he was seeing a counselor? He got up and took a few steps toward her but stopped short a few feet in front of her. "Oh, you want to know what I think?" he said, not quite successful at keeping his anger out of his voice. "I tell you what I think. I think it sucks waking up every night, hurrying to turn on the lights to make sure there's really noone in the room. It's humiliating talking about this to a complete stranger once a week in my counseling sessions. And you know what is worst? It's knowing there is someone who cares but not daring to talk to them about it fearing to lose them. I know what happened on the Cairo and I don't want you to be reminded of everything just because I'm losing it, DJ. Damnit, you want to know how I'm feeling? I'm scared...scared that everything I've been working for so hard all of my life is going to fall apart in front of my eyes and there's nothing I can do about it...just plain scared of losing everything I ever wanted." Nick fell silent. He wanted to say more but the words just didn't come out. So instead he turned around, not sure whether he should leave or sit back down. He compromised by taking a few steps back and turning back round to look at DJ and face her reaction. For a moment, DJ was certain she'd been stabbed in the gut, the pain was that intense. She felt her eyes moisten and promptly squeezed them shut before the waterworks really got underway. Her emotions ran the gamut from outrage to guilt. She ordered herself to keep walking....to ignore his remarks....tell him she'd lost her appetite and was no longer interested in dinner....ask him to leave immediately and perhaps, just to make sure he understood how badly his words hurt her, insist he not bother coming back ever again. But that wasn't what happened. Instead, she slowly turned around to find him standing just outside the bedroom door, staring at her. His expression was one of anger tinged with a hefty dose of nervous anticipation. In that singular moment, she realized he really was scared. If what he said was true, and she had no reason to doubt his word, he was frightened by more than agonizing memories of torture at the hands of a Cardiassan interrogator. He was afraid he would scare her way....so afraid he would rather hide his pain than allow her know that he was struggling. "Is that my fault?" she wondered silently as their eyes met. Drawing a deep breath, DJ took a step toward him. "You have no idea what happened on Cairo," she stammered, her voice breaking in mid sentence. "You have no idea what it feels like to lose someone you love the way I loved my husband." Her words sounded harsh and bitter. She glanced around the small bedroom exhorting herself to calm down. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about him," she added with a shrug of her shoulders. "I'll always wonder about what could have been had he lived." The words were coming more easily now. "But I don't obsess on it. We had a wonderful life together. It ended much too soon and I regret that. He was very special and that's why I took my time before committing to another relationship." She again met his gaze. "I can assure you of one thing. If something like this happened to Jack, I would have been there for him to lean on. I would have been there to help him in any way possible." A small inner voice warned her to slow down and choose her next words carefully. Because once they were spoken, there would be no turning back. "You're not my husband, Nick. But I wanted to be there for you to lean on. I wanted to help you deal with this. What I don't want is you to use Cairo as an excuse to shut me out.... as an excuse to hide behind your own, irrational fears." As he listened to DJ's words Nick felt an almost irresistible urge to bang his head against the bulkhead. He should never have doubted DJ much less told her about it. He had been so consumed with himself that he didn't realize what exactly he had said. He slowly shook his head as he answered. "No, I have no idea what happened and I know I am not Jack. I don't even have a clue what it's like to go through what you had to endure after the incident but what I do know is that it must have been difficult. I just thought that maybe if I brought up the torture and my problems dealing with it you might...well, think it's not worth it...you know, going through all of it again if..." He didn't finish the sentence. Nick was sure DJ would understand what he meant without him actually saying it. "I should have realized that if that was the case we wouldn't even be here." "No," replied DJ, shaking her head slightly. She pulled her robe more tightly around her and leaned against the door jamb. "We definitely wouldn't be here." This was the first time Nick was speaking openly about his feelings. He hadn't even told all this to his counselor, feeling that what was between DJ and him was none of her business. As he looked at DJ, he realized just how much he had tried to shut her out and how little he had been willing to share. And if that wasn't enough he had also managed to imply that his reluctance to talk was somehow DJ's fault. All in all a great job if you wanted to ruin a relationship. "I'm sorry," he muttered and he really meant it. For a moment he didn't know what else to say. He wished he could just turn back time a few hours. "I guess I really messed up this time." For a fraction of a second, DJ wondered if it was a mistake to go on. She quickly dismissed the thought. She had already come too far with this man to simply walk away. And she was comfortable with her decision that he was worth the risk. But they had to be open and honest with each other....and it had to begin right now. She watched him curiously. In his Sickbay, Nick was the epitome of self confidence....always in control. But now, he appeared very unsure of himself. He did seem to be opening up a little but it was obvious there was much more he still couldn't bring himself to say. It bothered her that he was so afraid. It also made her more determined than ever to find out exactly why he felt that way. "Nick," she called his name softly and waited until their eyes met before continuing. "Tell me something." DJ forced herself to maintain a neutral tone as she spoke. "Tell me....exactly what....do you think you've messed up." This question took Nick completely by surprise but he was also relieved. She didn't tell him to leave. She was still there looking at him, talking to him. "Well," he began slowly. "I guess I got so used to being alone and dealing with things on my own I simply forgot that sometimes what you don't say actually hurts more than what you do say. I messed up because here you were ready to help me when I'd have needed it most and I managed to make myself believe it was better not to be helped. I kept telling myself it would be too painful for you. Pretty convenient if you think about it because it meant that I didn't have to admit that I was the one having the problem not you. I should have trusted you." Saying all this wasn't easy. It made Nick feel uncomfortable but he knew the only way their relationship would have a chance was for him to be honest. And he was doing his best. He hoped DJ could appreciate that. "I understand," replied DJ softly, the anger she'd felt earlier gradually dissipating. Nick looked like an eight year old who's mother was forcing him to eat brussel sprouts or something equally nasty tasting. Opening up to her may have been healthy but it was hard for him to swallow. "At least he's trying," she thought to herself. But she wasn't prepared to let him walk away, not quite yet. She remained where she was, leaning against the door jamb. At least her hair had finally stopped dripping. Canting her head to one side, she nodded. "But I'd like to know what it is it that you're so afraid is going to fall apart before your eyes and you won't be able to do anything about it?" Nick moved over to the sofa and sat down. He had no idea how to explain this to DJ without seeming like a complete idiot. "Well, look where I am now. Granted, Aegis is not the most popular place in the universe but I didn't join Starfleet so I'd get to see nice places. I've achieved much more than I thought I would by now. What if the shrink decides I'm not fit for duty anymore?" He stopped and sighed. This was the easy part now he had to figure out how to tell DJ that he was even more afraid of losing her. What if the recent events had made her realize that what had happened to Jack could just as well happen to him? And what if she decided she wasn't ready to take that risk? He looked over to DJ. She was still watching him and listening patiently. "Above all, however, I am afraid that you might not want to be with me because you're scared something might happen, you know." Nick felt how he blushed but DJ had asked and he had decided to be honest. DJ pushed away from the door jamb and tugged on her robe once again. When she'd first started this line of questioning, she hadn't really expected Nick to reply as honestly as he had. She watched the blush crawl up Nick's neck and settle over his cheeks. It was obviously difficult for him to lay bare his heart and soul but he'd found the courage to do it. He probably never felt this vulnerable before. Now it was her turn. She managed to maintain a composed expression but her own heart was pounding as she slowly crossed the room toward him. "I seriously doubt they'll find any reason to declare you unfit for duty," she said calmly. "You went through a very traumatic ordeal....it left you wounded and it will take awhile for those wounds to heal. In the meantime, you're more than capable of performing your duties so there is no reason to relieve you." She stepped around the small coffee table and sat down beside him. "As for the other," she continued, folding her hands and resting them in her lap. "You have nothing to be concerned about. You're worth the risk." Nick couldn't help but smile at DJ's last words. "That's good to know," he muttered more to himself than to DJ. Somehow he was glad they had finally gotten a few things out of the way but he also felt like there was nothing more to say for the moment. Then he turned to look at her and his smile grew even wider. "So, what about dinner now? I don'tknow about you but I am starving." DJ had to chuckle. Nick had gone as far as he wanted to during this particular conversation and a part of her was actually relieved. She quickly decided not to push him any further. There was still a lot to talk about but it was probably best to save that for another day. It also appeared Nick was just as nervous about their budding relationship as she was. That was another reason to postpone further discussions until they'd both had time to digest what had just transpired. "Okay," replied DJ with a knowing smile. She stood and made her way toward the bedroom. "I won't be long ....maybe ten minutes or so. In the meantime, do me a favor." She turned just inside the bedroom and grinned at the handsome physician sitting on her sofa. "Don't take anymore naps before dinner."

...you get up at 4 am several times a week to "get together with a bunch of strangers in a chatroom and roleplay being a Starfleet Officer".

Nick wandered through the corridors on his way to DJ's quarters. He had just gotten out of sickbay. It was amazing how much work they had lately. Right now he was looking forward to spending the evening with DJ, though he had a hunch that wouldn't be relaxing either. When DJ had come to see him earlier and said something about her stuff arriving from Earth, Nick had agreed to drop by later to help her. The request had generated a mental picture of him carrying heavy boxes from one of the cargo bays to DJ's quarters. So he was a little surprised when he arrived at the quarters to see the door open and the place already cluttered with a few small boxes and some bags. Before entering Nick knocked but didn't wait for an answer. DJ had already spotted him as she had hurried off to the bedroom to deposit one of the boxes which looked rather heavy. Stepping in he was surprised to be greeted by a friendly bark. Gilbert, DJ's Basset Hound, came trotting toward him, wagging his tail and eager to inspect the newcomer. Nick crouched down and patted the dog on the head. "You make a lousy guard dog, you know that?" Gilbert answered by wagging his tail even more vigorously. Nick heard DJ return from the bedroom and he straightened up and smiled at her. She looked a little dishevelled and a stray strand of her hair clung to her cheek. He walked up to her, brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her gently. When they broke apart he smiled impishly. "Let's unpack quickly so we'll have time for some more of this later." Nick's greeting took her by surprise. But it also pleased her...pleased her more than she cared to admit. She looked up at her new helper and grinned. "More of what?" she asked in mock innocence. But DJ didn't wait for an answer. Instead, she hurried to one of the numerous boxes she was unpacking and quickly inspected the contents. "Sheets and towels," she mumbled. "More than I'll ever need out here." She put her hands on her hips and shook her head, still staring into the box. "Robby sent way too much of my stuff," she continued, looking around at the crates and cartons stacked just about everywhere. "And he didn't label anything!" She was only vaguely aware that Nick had walked up behind her. She turned to find him grinning. She assumed he found her predicament amusing. She also found herself resisting the urge to slip her arms around his neck and forget about unpacking. "Would you mind lugging this box into the bedroom," she asked rhetorically while using one foot to nudge Gilbert out of the way. She took a step toward Nick, smiled and softly patted his cheek. "And while you're at it, you can wipe that silly grin off your face." Nick shrugged. "Well, forgive me if I find this funny," he said pretending to be offended. "But you know, I don't think I ever owned enough sheets and towels to fill a box this size." With that he walked off to the bedroom, careful not to trip over Gilbert. "Wow, DJ!" Nick exclaimed as he looked around her bedroom. "How much did you have to pay Muon to get quarters like this?" He put the box down on the floor beside the bed and poked his head through the door to the bathroom. He whistled appreciatively and then returned to the living room where DJ was just trying to keep Gilbert from sticking his nose into every single box she opened to check on its contents. "Well, someone must have a guilty conscience for getting you back out here. I'm sure your quarters can easily keep up with the XO's. If you find out who it is and you do it right you might even be able to get a jacuzzi." As spacious as DJ's quarters were, they paled in comparison to the lovely house she lived in near Pensacola. She frowned as she recalled the tree lined road just minutes from her office as well as the home's close proximity to the Gulf. DJ was still struggling to come to terms with her sudden and totally unexpected transfer. She'd been working hard not to think about the place she considered home for over two years. The arrival of her personal belongings made that even more difficult. "I'd like to know who was responsible," she quipped, ripping open yet another box. "But not because I'm interested in a jacuzzi." She took a deep breath, aware her bitterness and resentment had slipped out in her tone of voice. She reminded herself none of this was Nick's fault and it was wrong to take out her frustrations on him. Besides, she desperately needed his help unpacking all this stuff. "You can help yourself to some of those sheets and towels," she continued, forcing her voice into a neutral tone. "It's the least I can do until you're better paid for helping me with this mess." It didn't take a very sensitive person to pick up on DJ's bitterness. Nick suddenly felt bad for reminding her of her situation. He walked up behind her, crouched next to her and reached out. Taking her hand he felt it tremble ever so slightly. As happy as he was about DJ coming back to Aegis he was genuinely sorry for her and he thought he knew how she felt. But he also knew that whatever he said it wouldn't make her feel any better. "Come here," Nick said softly and pulled her closer into a gentle embrace. After what seemed like an eternity Nick spoke. "I'm sorry, DJ, I really am." When they broke apart Nick was surprised to see Gilbert looking at them as if he was trying to figure out what exactly they were doing and making sure he wasn't completely forgotten. Although she didn't ask for it, DJ gladly accepted Nick's hug. She still felt a bit awkward in his arms but his warm embrace was just what the doctor ordered. At the same time, she was embarrassed at her lack of self control. As they stood facing one another, she noticed him grinning at the dog. "He's been the only male in my life for quite awhile now," she said, stooping down to snuggle the aging hound. "Sometimes, he gets jealous." DJ stood up and wiped her hands on her shorts. "But he'll get used to you," she continued with a smile. "I know I have." She took a step back and turned toward another stack of unopened boxes. "I'm sorry about my....attitude," she said quietly. "None of this is your fault and I certainly didn't invite you here for a pity party." She glanced over at him grinned impishly. "But thanks for the hug. I think I needed that." As she spoke, she caught sight of still more boxes lining the wall behind Nick. One, in particular, drew her attention. She carefully stepped over Gilbert and then past Nick, quickly squeezing his hand as she walked by. Once in front of the crates in question, she moved a couple out of the way so she could reach a large, flat box that was leaning against the wall. Of course, it was un-labeled but DJ was fairly certain she knew what was inside. Nick wanted to say something when he noticed DJ look at something over his shoulder. He followed her gaze and his eyes fell on the box. Coming up beside her he helped her maneuver the box into the middle of the room. She remained silent as she pulled the tab to open one end. Peering inside, she nodded and then looked up at Nick. "Maybe this is why I was transferred back here," she quipped, carefully removing the contents. It was a painting....an alien landscape and although the terrain was unfamiliar, she'd found the colors and textures quite pleasing. It was hanging on a wall in the CMO's office when she first arrived on Aegis to take over the medical department. Heaven knew how long it had been there. She'd admired that painting everyday for over a year. When she was transferred back to Earth, DJ had "stolen" the painting. She replaced it with something else, another landscape she bought at one of the shops on the Midway. She had hoped nobody would notice the switch but she was pretty sure Nick had picked up on it. In the meantime, the alien landscape had become one of DJ most prized possessions. It hung in her office at Eglin, a tangible reminder of the fifteen months she'd served as CMO on Aegis. She never got tired of looking at it. Now it was back and so was she. "I wonder," mused DJ with wry smile. "Do you think this picture is behind my transfer back out here?" For a second Nick frowned as he looked at the picture. It seemed familiar but it took him a few moments to remember where he had seen it before. Then it came to him and he laughed. "I thought this had been destroyed in the attack." He turned to DJ and continued in a whisper. "If this is the reason you're back out here we should be careful what we say and do around it. Who know maybe it has powers we don't know about." Then he burst out laughing as DJ punched him on the arm. "That settles it," she retorted in mock indignation. "You don't get it back. I'll find a place for it here or in my office....whenever they finally get it built." DJ picked up the painting and carried it across the room, leaning it against the half wall separating the main living area from the galley. She stood quietly admiring it for another moment before turning around to again confront the sea of boxes. Nick was where she'd left him, watching her with a physician's eye, something she found comforting while at the same time, made her feel a bit uneasy. "I meant what I said about those sheets and towels," she mumbled, making her way toward him. "I'll never use all of them." She stopped in front of him and smiled slightly. "Besides, I don't have any place to store them." Nick shrugged and looked a the pile of sheets. "Hmmm...you probably don't want to know how often I change my sheets but let's just say I certainly won't need those." He smiled as DJ looked at him with an expression of mingled amusement and disgust, picked up another box and carried it into the bedroom.

Subject: Treatment of Cardassian haemorrhagic fever From: Lt. Cmdr. Nicolas Lepage, CMO Sky Harbor Aegis To: Cardassian Department of Health CC: Captain Muon Quark, CO Sky Harbor Aegis Commander Brian Brown, XO Sky Harbor Aegis Anti-viral medication Most effective in the treatment of the Cardassian haemorrhagic fever is a variation of amantadine which interfers with the proton-selective ion channel M2 thus preventing the virus from infecting host cells. Side effects include nervousness, anxiety, agitation, insomnia, difficulty in concentrating, and exacerbations of pre-existing seizure disorders and psychiatric symptoms in patients with schizophrenia due to the drug's dopaminergic and adrenergic activity, and to a lesser extent, its activity as an anticholinergic. Immunoglobulins for passive immunization An injection of Ig CHF, the antibody for the Cardassian haemorrhagic fever during the first stage of infection provides protection against the outbreak of the disease. In 90% of infected individuals treated with Ig CHF at an early stage (24-48 hours after infection) the outcome was not lethal. The mortality rate increased in patients treated at a later stage but was still sufficiently low (approx. 25-30% opposed to 60-80% without treatment) to justify treatment despite various side effects. Side effects include diarrhea, vomiting, fever, fatigue and malaise. Distribution It is suggested the medication be given to the Cardassian Department of Health for further distribution to the various regions of Cardassia Prime.

Timezone's CET. That's ET +6. It's the same for France by the way. Anyway, we've had this discussion before and I guess we'll just have to keep getting up in the middle of the night. I think Tyson thought the midnight academies actually took place at noon. You know for those who are not used to the am/pm thing it can be a little confusing.

There are midday ones? What did I miss? It's always good to have some fellow Europeans around. So welcome to STSF and I hope to see you around.

Nick was lying on the sofa, snoring loudly with his mouth wide open when the chime rang. He woke with a start, looking around, trying to remember where he was. He blinked as his eyes slowly got used to the light. Desk. Sofa. Table...definitely his quarters. When he sat up and ran his hands over his face the chime rang again. "Alright, alright, I'll be right there." He slowly made his way to the door, still a little stiff. The doors opened as he pressed a button in the little pane next to them and DJ appeared in front of him, looking slightly concerned. Before she could ask anything he held up his hand and smiled. "I'm alright, must have fallen asleep while going over those reports." After the argument in sickbay earlier that day, DJ and Nick had reached a compromise. He'd simply go over those reports in his quarters. That way he could rest and take his mind of his problems for a while. Stepping aside Nick gestured for DJ to enter. "Thanks for coming. Make yourself at home. I'll get us something to drink. What do you want?" DJ glanced at her watch as she stepped inside Nick's quarters. "What do I want?" she asked lightly, walking past him. "You're the one who suggested I meet you here at 1900 hours." She studied him carefully, as a concerned physician would observe a troublesome patient. It was obvious she'd awakened him and she regretted that. Under the circumstances, Nick needed all the sleep he could get. Nick blinked, confused then he laughed as he understood what DJ meant. "I'm sorry, I should have made myself clearer. I remember asking you to come here this evening. What I actually wanted to know is what you want to drink." He looked at DJ, still grinning. "Oh," DJ laughed nervously. "In that case, I'd like a glass of cold water." Standing in front of the sofa, she found herself wishing she hadn't agreed to this meeting. Granted, they needed to talk but now that she was here, she couldn't help thinking this was the wrong time, not to mention the wrong place. In light of what happened earlier that day, it would have been far better had they kept their distance tonight. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, she felt terribly awkward. She wasn't prepared for this conversation. She doubted she would ever be ready for it. But they had to reach a.....a what? An agreement? A decision? Good grief," she thought silently. "What am I doing here? I haven't the slightest idea what to say. And I'm not sure I want to hear whatever it is Nick wants to say." Again, that annoying inner voice called out to her...."Run...and do it now." "Perhaps we should do this another time," she suggested. "You need your rest." Nick walked over to DJ, put the glasses on the table and turned to face her. "Why don't you just sit down? Now is as good as any other time, as far as I am concerned. Look, I'm not pretending to know what would be best...I'll probably never know. But we're both adults and we need to figure out what we want." He slowly sat down, looked up at DJ and for just one fleeting second, he hoped she'd say she'd come back to Aegis to be with him. But he knew that wasn't very likely to happen. DJ picked up her glass and walked across the room. She wasn't prepared to sit down quite yet. Nick was right. They were both adults but, at this particular moment, she didn't feel very grown up. She was still angry with herself for getting into this mess in the first place. If she hadn't allowed her emotions to overload her brain, she would have been able to monitor her words more closely. Things would have been so much easier had she simply kept her mouth shut. She took a sip from the glass and looked at Nick. He was staring a hole through her. She smiled gamely and shrugged her shoulders. Neither of them needed to figure out what they wanted. They both knew the answer to that question. The problem was....they couldn't have what they wanted. That was the issue. "You already know what you want," she began, her voice portraying a confidence she didn't really feel. "So do I. But you're not willing to leave this station. And I'm not inclined to come back here....at least, not for the long term." She took a few steps toward the tiny kitchen area and surveyed Nick's quarters. Her "house" in Pensacola was ten times larger than this....with a view of the Gulf. But it wasn't creature comforts, or the lack thereof, that concerned her. It was Aegis in general....the location in Cardiassian space, the constant turmoil on the planet below....the instability of the entire sector. The inevitable fall-out from the chaos always settled on Aegis and its crew. And then there was the "bulls-eye" painted somewhere on the station's exterior hull. Invisible as it might be, DJ never doubted it was there, drawing even more unwanted attention to the station, making Aegis an irresistible target to their enemies. Finally turning to look at Nick, she smiled sadly. "You hadn't been on Aegis but a couple of weeks when I came aboard to take over as CMO," she said softly, taking a step toward him. "Do you remember what this place looked like when I first arrived?" Nick frowned at the question. He thought he had a pretty good idea what DJ was driving at. "Yes, I do. The station had just been attacked. We had to relocate sickbay to Pylon B for a while because deck 19 and the midway, among many other sections of the station, had almost completely been destroyed." He was still looking up at DJ. She looked back and Nick knew the only way he and DJ could be together would be for him to move back to Earth. But he didn't want to leave Aegis. As much as he missed his family and DJ this place had become his home. He knew that for Starfleet officers, it was normal to get reassigned after a while but he was needed out here and requesting a new assignment closer to Earth was not quite the same as being transferred to another post because he'd be needed there more than out here. There was no way he'd run even though right now, after everything that had happened, he'd probably be granted at least an extended leave. "I'm not expecting you to come back here, DJ. You were lucky to get that post at Eglin and I would never ask you to give it up. It would feel wrong. But I can't leave this place either. It's not difficult finding a good physician for a post on Earth or Utopia Planitia or anywhere near there. On Aegis, that's a different story. After the Breen attack, a lot of the senior staff left. The Admiral, the Captain, Eli, Dent... they need some experienced people out here. And I know I can make a difference. You know as well as I do that I would love to come with you...but I can't." Nick shook his head, knowing that he was doing the right thing...but just that, doing the right thing, had never been this difficult before. It was the first time for him that "doing the right thing" meant hurting someone. "I'm not asking you to leave," replied DJ, glancing around the room for a moment. And that was the truth. She would never go so far as to even suggest such a thing. "I'm simply trying to make a point." She walked around the small coffee table and sat down beside him on the sofa. "I lost my husband. We were both in the line of fire," she continued, looking directly at him. "He was killed...I was badly injured. Jack was the love of my life. For a long time after that, I wished I had died as well. She frowned slightly and shook her head. "I managed to survive that loss. But it took years for me to start living again. I'm not proud of this....but the fact is, I don't think I could handle another loss like that." She started to forge on but stopped before admitting that if she could easily love Nick as much, if not more, than she loved Jack....that if she allowed herself the luxury of pursuing a relationship with him and something happened, it would probably kill her. For a moment Nick didn't know what to say. Jack's death had come up once in their conversations so far and Nick had regretted asking her about it the first time. Now DJ had brought it up herself but he wasn't sure whether he really wanted to go there. "I think I understand. Aegis is really not the safest place in the universe," he admitted. Both remained silent for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Nick shrugged and leaned back. "To be honest, I've got no idea what to do, DJ. I don't want to be reasonable and just go back to the way it was before but it might be our only choice. What do you think?" He looked at her, studying her carefully. "No," she replied quietly, leaning back on the sofa. "Aegis isn't the safest place in the universe." DJ was keenly aware Nick was staring at her, waiting for her to offer a suggestion on how to handle their newly complicated relationship. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Instead, she focused her attention on the far wall of his quarters. He didn't want to be reasonable....he didn't want to 'go back to the way it was.' She doubted reason had anything to do with it. It was difficult for her to admit it, but there simply was no going back to the way it was. They had crossed the line and moved beyond mere friendship. It would be so easy to just keep going but if they followed the path they were currently on, the consequences could prove to be more than either of them could handle. But what was the alternative? No contact at all? That didn't seem very reasonable either. DJ shook her head slightly and sighed. "I don't think we can go back to the way it was," she whispered. "But I don't have any suggestions on what to do....other than having nothing to do with each other ever again." She finally turned to meet his gaze. "And I'm not sure....I could do that." "No," Nick said quietly. "No, I wouldn't want that." then he fell silent again, thinking. Noone spoke for a while. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, at least Nick didn't mind it. But he knew they'd have to find a solution. "How about we just...go on, take it slow and see where it leads us? Maybe things will change, one of us might be reassigned. We don't know what the future will bring," he suggested after a few minutes. "Like that none of us would have to make a real commitment and we'd still be able to look eachother in the eye...not that I'd mind making a commitment. Let's enjoy what we have for as long as possible. Who knows when we'll get another chance." Nick looked expectantly at DJ, hoping she could agree to his suggestion. He knew it wouldn't be easy either way and he was very much aware of the possibility that one day there might be another man in DJ's life...actually he was surprised they weren't queuing up to go out with her. However, it was risk he was willing to take. It'd be easier to admit they had tried but it didn't work out, for whatever reason, than looking back and regretting not trying at all. "There are always possibilities," thought DJ. "But what are the odds? And the complications! She smiled uneasily at Nick. "I've never tried anything like that before," she admitted. "How do you propose we go about it?" Nick grinned. "Neither have I. But how about we start with dinner?"

"I won't allow it." She spoke in little more than a whisper but her tone was adamant. "There is no escaping those demons now haunting you. No matter how far you run, they'll find you." She shook her head and looked away from him, embarrassed by her inability to hide the unwanted tears now moistening her eyes. "I will not permit you to think your work will save you from them. I just can't do that." Now Nick was more than just a little confused. He had never expected such a resolute reaction from her. He noticed she was on the verge of crying. Resisting the urge to walk over to DJ, hug her and try to comfort her, Nick dropped his gaze to the floor. "I'm just not sure I can do this now." He looked back up at DJ. "Look, I'm not even sure what I'd do if you weren't here. DJ, you're a great friend and I know you're concerned...heck, I know you're probably right about all this but I just don't know how to handle all of this. I'm the CMO, people will expect me to be back on duty soon." She heard everything Nick said but there were only two words that really mattered....."great friend." DJ felt like she'd been kicked in the teeth and she had no one to blame but herself. She looked away, her disappointment growing by the second. For a long moment, she desperately tried to overlook those two words but she failed miserably. All the while, she wondered how could she have allowed this to happen? How did Nick become so much more than a friend...without her even knowing it. She drew a deep breath, determined to salvage what was left of her pride. She quickly pushed aside the hurt and replaced it with righteous indignation. "I don't give a rat's rear what other people expect," replied DJ curtly. "And so what if you're the CMO?" She again met his gaze. "You're also a man....a man who was nearly tortured to death." Crossing her arms in front of her, DJ turned her back on Nicolas Lepage. "Of course they want you back on duty," she continued, her voice tinged with bitterness. "It makes things easier for everyone...everyone but you. They may claim to care about you and I'm not suggesting otherwise. But they put one's duty ahead of everything else. They can't help it. Because they don't love you." If there had been anyway to reel those last few words back into her mouth, DJ would have taken advantage of it. Mortified, she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed Nick didn't hear what she said. In all her life, she'd never felt like such an....idiot. It took Nick a few moments to fully understand what DJ had just said. He blinked, opened his mouth to say something but shut it again. His confusion turned to comprehension and disbelief. He was glad DJ had her back turned to him and couldn't see his astonishment. So that's what all this was about. Nick wasn't sure what to think. Ever since the evening he and DJ spent together before she left Aegis, he had been imagining how things would have turned out if she hadn't been his boss...if they could have stayed together. He had known back then, as a matter of fact he was still sure of it now, that DJ was the first woman in his life for whom he felt more than just some silly infatuation. He had realized very early that there was more to his feelings for her than mere physical attraction. Over time, a deep and meaningful friendship had developed between them. He trusted DJ without reserve. During the whole argument they'd just had, he had never once questioned the reason for her anger. But he had thought it was friendship...nothing more. DJ's confession made things much more difficult for Nick. While he had still been able to tell himself that DJ didn't want more than just friendship, it had been easy to accept there would never be more. But now? He knew the distance between Aegis and Earth made it almost impossible to even think about a long-term intimate relationship. He had no idea what to do now. He didn't want to turn down DJ but what would happen if he didn't? Could they just take advantage of the moment, enjoy it while it lasted? Or should they be reasonable? Nick observed DJ closely. She still didn't face him and he sensed her embarrassment and uncertainty. There was no way he could walk up to her now, look her in the eyes and tell her all he wanted was to be friends. It would probably do more harm than good. He knew DJ would never be able to forget what she'd just told him and neither would he. And no matter how gently he'd turn her down now, it would risk alienating her from him...maybe forever. Besides, he didn't want to turn her down. Wasn't this what he'd been hoping for ever since DJ left? Taking a deep breath, Nick pushed himself away from the desk and slowly walked over to DJ. He put his hands on her shoulders, slowly turned her around, pulled her closer gently and embraced her, casting around for words that would make her understand there was no reason to feel awkward or even ashamed. The moment Nick rested his hands on her shoulders, DJ knew he'd picked up on her little Freudian slip. She remained unyielding as he slowly turned her around and cradled her in his arms. Obviously, he was trying to make her feel better and she was genuinely touched by his kindness. But nothing could undo this mess. She was furious at herself for compromising both them. Even worse, she was fairly certain she had just brought a crashing end to what had been a lovely friendship. The most she dared hope for was to clean it up as best she could and quickly retreat, preserving what little was left of her pride. And the first step in the clean up process was to apologize. "I'm sorry, Nick," she whispered, taking a step back. "I was out of line....way out of line." She stepped around him and walked across the room, stopping at the far end of his desk. Again, she folded her arms in front of her and shook her head sadly. "I have no right to tell you how to handle your recovery," she continued, her back to him. "It's none of my business. You should do what you think is best for you." DJ paused a moment, searching for a way to make a quick yet graceful exit without further exacerbating the situation. She finally forced herself to face him. "I need to get back to the audit," she said with a half hearted smile. "We should wrap it up later tonight. We'll be out of your hair by tomorrow." She started creating a mental check list of what she had to do in order to change her travel plans. Instead of remaining on Aegis for a few days, she would now leave immediately after the audit. Even if she couldn't travel with the other members of the inspection team, there were countless ships leaving the station everyday. She doubted she'd have a problem booking passage on one of them. "So," she added, while purposeful walking toward the door. "If you'll excuse me, I'd better get back to work." Nick stepped out of DJ's way but held out a hand. When she stopped walking toward the door he thought she looked puzzled for a second. "If you want to leave I won't hold you back. But please, listen to me before you walk out of that door and decide to run." He turned to face her and forced himself to smile. DJ didn't smile back. "You, out of all people, have the right to tell me how to handle my recovery. What are you so afraid of? That I'll turn you down? Or that I'll tell you I feel the same about you?" Nick shook his head before going on. "DJ, I don't want to see you go like this. There's no reason to be ashamed of how you feel. Especially since..." Nick broke off trying to find the right words. He felt a blush creep up his neck and he took a deep breath. Why did he have to blush now? "I love you, too DJ." With that he fell silent, looking imploringly at DJ, hoping she wouldn't just turn and run. "What?" She hadn't meant to say anything. The word just sort of slipped out. Two minutes earlier, he'd called her a friend....a "great" friend but a friend non the less. Now, he claimed he loved her. For a moment, she was tempted to ask him to repeat himself. But from the look on his face, she was pretty sure she'd heard him correctly. Suddenly, there were two inner voices competing for DJ's attention. One urged her to shake his hand, turn and run as fast and as far as possible. Even before she left Aegis, she knew Nick was special. Granted, they were both of legal age but, in spite of their mutual attraction, they worked on opposite ends of the galaxy. The sheer distance between their home bases made this an untenable situation. Maybe that's why she'd gone out of her way to maintain the friendship. Safely ensconced on Earth, her subconscious assured her there were no risks....nothing would ever come of it....he was a million light years away. But not anymore. Right now, he was less than a meter away and another inner voice was encouraging DJ to stay where she was. Quit hiding behind the pain she experienced almost five years ago when Jack died. Reach out to this man....allow herself to love him.....and to be loved by him. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, desperately seeking which path to choose. Her common sense told her to hop on the next ship out....even if it was heading in the opposite direction from where she needed to go. After a moment, she opened her eyes and looked at him again...and made her decision. "When did this happen?" she asked softly. "And what are we going to do about it?" Nick smiled, relieved that DJ was actually still standing there, willing to talk to him. He shook his head slightly and shrugged. "I don't know. I honestly don't. All I know for sure is that the last thing I want is for you to walk out of that door and feel like you can't come back and look me in the eyes.Whatever we decide to do, it's going to be difficult." Relieved as he was, Nick still wasn't sure whether telling DJ he loved her had been a good idea. He was still worried she might decided this just couldn't work and that it'd be better to break off contact with him completely. That was really not what he wanted. On the other hand he didn't want to press DJ for a decision. He was ready to give her as much time as she needed to come to terms with the new situation. Nick seemed pleased that she hadn't walked away. But she knew he was right, whatever they chose to do, it would be difficult. "I think we need to talk," she said with a slight smile. "Are you free this evening?

"Just how many pills do you take, Nick?" DJ asked. Nick stood there, looking at DJ. Why was she asking? Despite wondering, he didn't think there was a reason for not being honest with her. She was a doctor after all and would probably be able to make a pretty good guess anyway. "I take codeine sulfate along with ibuprofen for the pain...I don't take it often. I'm doing much better, really. Then, let me see, Amoxicillin but I only have two or three of those left...you know just to make sure there won't be any infections and zolpidem but I only take that at night." He shrugged and waited for DJ's reaction. Nick had a hunch she would protest even more especially since Amoxicillin was known to cause fatigue. Along with zolpidem as a sedative that wasn't a good combination especially when treating patients. But Nick had no intention to treat anyone. He just wanted to get out of his quarters and do something. Filing reports seemed like the perfect distraction. DJ planted her hands on her hips and glared at Nick. "What do you take me for?" she snapped, her frustration mounting. "A fool! It's only been two days. There hasn't been enough time for meaningful healing." Nick remained silent. He knew DJ was right but he wasn't ready to admit it. Her reaction took him a bit by surprise. He took on a defiant air but wasn't quite sure what to say. She turned her back to him and drew a deep breath, again questioning why she was taking this so personally. Of course she was concerned for Nick. He was a friend...a very good friend. But she was slowly becoming aware of the fact her objectivity might be a little....clouded. That only added to her frustration. At the same time, DJ was convinced she was right. It was far too early for Nick to be doing anything but resting. She wheeled around to face him once again. "You're combining zolpidem with an antibiotic known to cause fatigue", she said, trying to maintain a reasonable tone of voice. "And please don't expect me to believe you're not using a lot of codeine. We both know those painkillers are the only reason you're able to get out of bed!" DJ stepped toward him, forcing herself to remain calm, and looked him in the eye. "Nick," she pleaded. "I understand you're bored and want to do something other than stare at the walls in your quarters. But please consider the risks involved and the long term consequences. You're still badly injured. Masking the pain with drugs so you can return to work will only exacerbate those injuries....and you know that." Looking away, she glanced around the small office. "And," she added, "you need to get your head on straight before you come back....or at least start the process." Nick leaned against his desk and sighed. "This isn't about being bored, DJ. I'm sick of going through what happened time and again, always wondering whether I could have done something to prevent it. I'm sick of not being able to concentrate on anything because every time I try I picture that Cardassian standing behind me with the painstick ready. I'm sick of it all. I just want to get away from it, work, get tired so I can sleep 8 hours straight without waking up bathed in sweat checking my surroundings to make sure I am in my quarters." His statement had come out a bit more aggressive than he had planned. He fell silent trying to think of something else to say. He knew full well that DJ was just concerned about him but Nick couldn't believe she was actually lecturing him. He chose his next words carefully, his voice taking on a pleading tone "Yes, you're right. I'm still taking medication...more than I like but if it helps me get through the day, fine. DJ, I'm going nuts if I don't find anything to do. Usually I'd go to the holodeck or the gym to work out but I'm sure you'd agree with me that this is not really an option right now." He wanted DJ to understand his situation and at the same time he was curious about her strong reaction to this whole business. It was unlike her and he was more than just a bit confused. "I'm open to suggestions," he added. He was angry but DJ wasn't sure why. Was he annoyed with her because she objected to his rushing back to work? Or was his anger more deeply rooted? It was probably a combination of both. But there was something else.....and it had nothing to do with Nicolas Lepage. She abruptly turned around and put a little distance between them while grappling with a new and somewhat disturbing realization. "You could start your psychotherapy," she said, softly but defiantly. "You know the damage this incident has caused. You need to address the psychological trauma while allowing your body to heal....and you should do it before you consider coming back to work." For a few brief seconds, DJ relived those dreadful moments from so long ago when she faced her own eminent death....only to survive. But she also suffered significant physical injury when the USS Cairo exploded. Her personal hell began as she struggled to recover. When it was all said and done, it wasn't the bodily damage that nearly destroyed her....it was the psychological demons she initially refused to address. She did not being to really heal until she confronted them. DJ could not bear the thought of Nick going through two years of hell the way she did. He was too important to her. She simply had to make him understand. She slowly turned around and gazed into his eyes. He was in pain, physically and emotionally. He also seemed...confused. "I won't allow it." She spoke in little more than a whisper but her tone was adamant. "There is no escaping those demons now haunting you. No matter how far you run, they'll find you." She shook her head and looked away from him, embarrassed by her inability to hide the unwanted tears now moistening her eyes. "I will not permit you to think your work will save you from them. I just can't do that."

By Drs DJ McKinny and Nick Lepage He shrugged and immediately regretted this motion as pain shot through his shoulders and arms down to his hands. He leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling unbidden tears burn behind his eyelids. After taking several deep, steadying breaths, he opened his eyes again and cleared his throat so DJ wouldn't notice he'd been on the verge of crying. "So, that's about all as far as the facts are concerned." Nick finally dared to look back up at DJ. He could see how difficult it was for her to keep her emotions in check. Somehow it felt good to know there was someone who cared. Maintaining a professional demeanor was an absolute necessity for anyone working in the medical field. DJ had practiced hers for years. But try as she might, she couldn't find it now. She remained silent as Nick fell back against the sofa, his eyes closed. There were so many things she wanted to say but she knew her voice would fail her if she tried. Finally, she leaned back against the soft cushions and turned to look at him. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, gently caressing his cheek. "Have you spoken to anyone about this....on a professional level?" Nick leaned into her touch briefly before raising his eyes to hers. He shook his head. "No, I haven't. I didn't get the chance. We only came back a few hours ago and I was asleep most of the time. But don't worry, I'll...get professional help. Besides, I don't really have a choice. I doubt they'd clear me for duty if I didn't." DJ was startled by Nick's revelation that he'd been back on the station for just a few hours. She knew his injuries were recent but, for some reason, she didn't realize just how recent. She also found herself wondering why Nick was allowed to leave Sickbay. The more time she spent with him....the more he spoke about his ordeal....the more convinced she was that he should be kept under constant observation and Sickbay was the perfect place for that. She almost said something but chose to bite her tongue instead. Nick seemed to be opening up. She didn't want to risk interfering with that. He fell silent, not sure whether he should tell DJ about his concerns. Nick had never been one to talk about his feelings and emotions. Even now, being alone with DJ, he found it difficult to talk about more than just the mere facts. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that he didn't even know how he felt. He decided to give it a try anyway. "You know, I've never been so..." he broke off struggling to find the right words. "well, scared maybe. I mean, when the station was under attack I never quite realized the danger until all was over and I had time to think about it. But this time was different. When I was alone I.." at this point his voice broke and it took him a few moments before he could go on. "When they left me alone I had plenty of time to think and the longer it lasted the less I tried to think of ways to escape and the more I started to consider that I would...not make it out of there. I pictured my own death and..." Nick didn't finish the sentence. He was overwhelmed by his emotions as he remembered how miserable and desperate he had been. He leaned his head against DJ's shoulder wishing he could just stay here. The prospect of having to go out there and face life again was downright alarming. Nick's words stung her as though she was the one who'd been assaulted with a Klingon painstick. His remarks about the intense pain and being left alone....deciding he would probably die and then picturing his eventual death....his words brought back memories DJ had spent years trying to forget. She glanced at Nick as his head rested on her shoulder, his eyes closed. "I can relate to that," she whispered. "The circumstances were different, but the feelings were the same." At first Nick was puzzled by this revelation. Then he realized that DJ must be speaking about the USS Cairo. Instead of answering he remained silent and didn't move for a few minutes. Only when he was afraid DJ might think he had fallen asleep did he draw a deep breath and said, his voice hardly above a whisper, "I'm sorry DJ, I didn't realize. Actually, I didn't think...I'm sorry for putting you through this." He fell silent again, not knowing what else to say. Reluctantly, he lifted his head off her shoulder and sat up straight. This time, try as he might, he could not suppress a pained groan as his shoulders started hurting worse than ever. DJ turned to face Nick, resting her hand on his arm. "I'm not sorry," she said softly. "In a strange way, I'm glad. I wouldn't wish those feelings on my worst enemy. But if you had to endure such misery, at least you know you're not alone." She paused a moment and slowly caressed his cheek with the tips of her fingers. "You'll get through this," she continued in a hushed whisper. "It will take a while, but you will recover. In the meantime, you shouldn't be alone....at least not for awhile" Nick smiled at her gratefully. He reached for DJ's hand caressing his cheek and squeezed it gently. "No, I'm not alone. I'm glad you're here even if you can't stay long. And don't worry, I'll have to go back to sickbay tonight. Mimi wants to run a few scans before deciding whether I'll be able to spend the night in my quarters. I doubt she'll let me though. I had to beg her to let me leave in the first place. She even threatened me with a full psychiatric evaluation." He couldn't help but chuckle. "She's good. Though, to be honest, I don't fancy the idea of spending the next few days in sickbay. You know how I hate doctors." Nick's smile grew wider. He was relieved that they had talked about the incident. There were still a lot of things that were troubling him but he felt like it had been the first step toward coping with the situation. DJ laughed in spite of herself. Even after all he'd been through, Nick hadn't lost his sense of humor. "Yes," she replied with a quick squeeze of his hand. "I know how much you....hate doctors." She looked at him carefully, her professional instincts returning. What little stamina he had was fading fast. He'd undoubtedly taken a strong analgesic before leaving Sickbay and that was wearing off as well. "How about I escort you back to Sickbay?" It was more a declaration of fact than a question. She slipped off the sofa and stood in front of him. She would allow him to at least attempt to stand on his own. The last thing she wanted to do was pull on his arms to help him up. "In a day or two, you may want to consider a little physical therapy as well. It might be painful at first, but it will help your recover a lot faster." "I'm sure you're right," Nick said as he tried to get up. It took him three attempts to get onto his feet because he couldn't push himself up with his arms and his back was still sore, too. When he finally stood he smiled at DJ. "Usually I'd decline your offer to make the way to sickbay with me. I'm sure you're tired but...well...I've got trouble getting up from a sofa, imagine I trip over something. I'd be lying there, helpless until someone came to pick me up. Besides, I'm sure Mimi will be glad for a chance to say hello." With that he slowly made his way to the doors.

By Drs DJ McKinny and Nick Lepage DJ slowly sat down on the coffee table in front of the sofa. She was directly in front of Nick, so close their knees were touching. She reached for his hands and clasped them tightly while looking directly at him. "I don't know what happened," she said quietly, choosing her words carefully. "But I can tell it was awful. You're in a lot of pain and I would dare say, much of it goes beyond the physical." She paused and drew a deep breath. "Please," she whispered earnestly as an errant tear scurried down her cheek. "Please allow me to help you. After all, that's what friends are for....right?" Nick smiled encouragingly before answering. "DJ," he said gently, hoping to alleviate some of her concern. "I know you're worried about me. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not in as good a shape as I'd hoped to be. But I'll be ok." He took a deep breath before continuing. "My original plans for your stay on Aegis did not exactly take into account my being captured by Cardassians. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am to disappoint you. Quite honestly, I'm not even sure what I expected but it was definitely not spending the evening discussing my physical and...well mental health." As he looked at DJ, Nick realized that, in fact, he was very sure of what he had hoped would happen during DJ's brief stay. That realization made him blush and he looked away. He knew it would never come to that...not now and his condition had nothing to do with it. He was old enough to know a relationship with DJ wouldn't work simply because of the distance. He looked back at DJ who had continued to study him carefully. Before he even thought about what he was doing and ignoring the growing pain in his shoulders, Nick pulled DJ a bit closer and hugged her. He wanted to comfort DJ, tell her everything would be alright but he wasn't quite so sure of it himself. After a moment he let her go to look at her. "Are you sure you want to know everything," he asked, part of him hoping she'd say yes and the other part hoping she'd say no. DJ slipped off the coffee table and onto the sofa beside Nick. She sat so she could see his face and monitor the expression in his eyes. She was still a little stunned by how personally she was taking this and her less than professional approach in handling the situation. She silently chided herself as she again took Nick's hands in hers. If she really wanted to help him, she had to get a grip on her emotions. She smiled slightly and shrugged her shoulders. "I would like to know everything," she replied in a somewhat steady voice. "But I'm willing to accept however much you want to tell me." Nick nodded and took a deep breath. "Alright, so here we go. We discovered a mysterious disease spreading on Cardassia and after a Cardassian messenger died in sickbay, pleading for help, we decided to find out what was going on despite Starfleet Command telling us not to get involved. We found out that the USS Endeavour was involved and someone came up with the idea that we travel back in time in order to intercept the ship before it reached Cardassia. That's what we did. We were discovered by the Cardassians who thought we were up to no good since they had no idea who we were and why we had, according to them, taken on the identity of a Starfleet ship currently assigned to Aegis. The whole crew was captured and I was...invited for questioning since I was the only senior officer apart from Commander Hawke." At this point Nick paused. The events he had described so far were just part of the daily insanity happening on Aegis. What came next would be much more difficult to talk about. DJ listened quietly as Nick explained what happened. But her thoughts were racing. She didn't want to interrupt him to ask questions but she was genuinely stunned when Nick revealed he'd been involved in a "temporal" event. The fact Cardassians were involved didn't surprise her in the least. "So, I was left in the care of a very capable Cardassian torturer. They bound my hands and hung me from the ceiling. He wanted to know who we were and what we were doing. Since it would have been against regulations to say anything, I stuck with name, rank and service number. Needless to say he wasn't happy. He demonstrated his knowledge of human anatomy and how to use a Klingon painstick effectively." Nick shuddered as he remembered the pain. "When I still didn't speak they doused me in water and...well...water and painsticks just..." Nick trailed off, not knowing what to say. He had a hunch DJ knew what he meant anyway. She could probably imagine very well what a painstick would do to one's body when it was wet. DJ looked down. Just in case Nick glanced in her direction, she didn't want him to see her face. She knew she was as pale as freshly fallen snow. For an awful moment, she thought she might vomit. She swallowed hard several times trying to keep the nausea under control. After what seemed like hours, her stomach finally settled down. Nick looked at DJ, and realized that this was just as difficult for her as it was for him. He swallowed hard, trying not to lose his composure. Before going on, he took another deep breath and averted his eyes because he wasn't sure whether he could bear to see the shock in DJ's eyes as he talked. "Anyway, they left me hanging there in total darkness for an hour...or at least that's what they said. It seemed like an eternity. I think I passed out several times before they came back, this time trying their luck with a whip. When I still didn't tell them what they wanted to hear they left me hanging there in darkness again. I thought I was going to lose my mind....the pain, the darkness, the cold...I was wet and half naked and I started to think that I might not get out of there alive." Nick shook his head. He hadn't realized it while speaking but all the time he had squeezed DJ's hands tightly. He quickly loosened his grip, hoping he hadn't actually hurt her. "Sorry," he muttered before finishing his story. "When this Cardassian came back again, I thought I wouldn't be able to keep it up any longer but fortunately, Commander Hawke and the rest of the crew had managed to escape and rescue me. I don't remember how I got back on the Pandora's Box or even on Aegis. I recall vaguely that Hawke talked to me in sickbay back on the Pandora's Box." He shrugged and immediately regretted this motion as pain shot through his shoulders and arms down to his hands. He leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling unbidden tears burn behind his eyelids. After taking several deep, steadying breaths, he opened his eyes again and cleared his throat so DJ wouldn't notice he'd been on the verge of crying. "So, that's about all as far as the facts are concerned." Nick finally dared to look back up at DJ. He could see how difficult it was for her to keep her emotions in check. Somehow it felt good to know there was someone who cared.

By Drs DJ McKinny and Nick Lepage Dropping her bag on the sofa, DJ walked across the living/dining room and into the bedroom and ordered the lights on. It was much nicer than the one she had while stationed on Aegis. She turned back toward Nick who was standing in front of the sofa and studied him for a moment. Walking up to him, she stopped about a meter away and smiled nervously. "Are you okay?" Nick forced a smile and nodded though it became more and more difficult to hide that he was in pain. The effect of the painkillers was wearing off and his shoulders were starting to hurt worse again. As much as he'd been looking forward to being alone with DJ, he suddenly wasn't sure whether it was a good idea anymore. He knew she had noticed there was something wrong. "It's good to see you, " he said in an attempt to change the subject. "How long has it been, a year?" The look on DJ's face told him this was definitely not the answer she had expected. He avoided her gaze, closed his eyes briefly and tried to suppress a sigh. "I'm alright, DJ...or at least I will be in no time. I'm sorry for the bad timing." He looked back at her feeling genuinely sorry for the way things had turned out. "I'm glad to see you too," she replied in a soft voice. Turning away from him, she stepped over to the sofa and opened her duffle bag. "And I'm pleased to know you're alright.....or will be in time." By the time she faced him again, she had her medical tricorder out, open and had already started the scan. The data was staring her in the face when she returned to stand in front of Nick. DJ forced herself to maintain a somewhat professional demeanor. It only took a moment to diagnose the problem and come up with a reasonable explanation as to how this particular injury occurred. And that's where she ran into trouble. How could something like that have happened to Nick? But, she knew it had....not only from the injury but from that guarded look in his eyes. She handed the tricorder to Nick and took a step back. Gathering her wits about her, she finally looked him in the eye. "I agree with your prognoses," she stammered, nearly choking on her words. "You will be okay...in a few weeks. But in the meantime, you're not leaving this room until you tell me what happened." Nick had been watching DJ and he didn't know whether he should feel angry, frustrated or relieved that she was scanning him without his consent. Finally, he decided that it didn't matter anyway. DJ knew that something was wrong and now, at least, she knew what it was. The only thing she didn't know was how exactly it had happened and just how difficult it was for him to deal with it. He continued staring at the tricorder in his hand. After a long moment he tore his gaze away from the little screen and looked DJ directly in the eye. He sat down on the sofa slowly and carefully but still pain shot through is back and he winced ever so slightly. When he spoke, it was hardly above a whisper. "I didn't want to bother you with this, DJ." The he fell silent again, trying to think of a way to tell her what had happened, well aware that DJ was watching him closely. Several thoughts ran through DJ's mind as she watched Nick sit down. First of all, she had seen these types of injuries before. She knew they were consistent with torture. In spite of that, she was hoping Nick would offer an alternate explanation. Even if it was completely outrageous, she would have tried her best to believe it. But as she studied her former associate, she knew that wasn't going to happen. She could tell by the look in his eyes there would be no other explanation. Her grief and disappointment were almost palpable. She'd been looking forward to this visit for weeks. Never, in her wildest dreams, did she expect to arrive on Aegis to find Nick recovering from injuries he probably sustained during torture. And that forced her to confront another unexpected realization. She was taking this far too personally, even for someone she considered a good friend. It suddenly dawned on her that without her even knowing it, he might have become a little more than that. DJ slowly sat down on the coffee table in front of the sofa. She was directly in front of Nick, so close their knees were touching. She reached for his hands and clasped them tightly while looking directly at him. "I don't know what happened," she said quietly, choosing her words carefully. "But I can tell it was awful. You're in a lot of pain and I would dare say, much of it goes beyond the physical." She paused and drew a deep breath. "Please," she whispered earnestly as an errant tear scurried down her cheek. "Please allow me to help you. After all, that's what friends are for....right?"

By Drs DJ McKinny and Nick Lepage Nick left his quarters and made his way to the docking port. He had begged Mimi to let him leave sickbay so he'd be able to greet the delegation that'd conduct the inspection. After 20 minutes Mimi had given in. He had to promise to have a checkup that evening and she had insisted Mary-Alice escort him to his quarters and make sure he'd stay there. Fortunately Mary-Alice had given in surprisingly quickly when he suggested she go back to sickbay to help Mimi with the preparations for the inspection. Now he was wearing a clean uniform, grateful for the analgesic Mimi had given him before leaving sickbay. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to walk upright without the painkillers. Within 10 minutes, Nick arrived at the docking port. He was just in time. DJ and her colleagues hadn't yet disembarked from the USS Yorktown but they were expected any minute now. Nick checked his uniform one last time, pulled at his tunic and then decided it had been a bad move since his arms were hurting again. When the airlock opened he turned his head and smiled as he recognized Petty Officer Wallace. A moment later, he saw the familiar face of DJ McKinny appear behind the younger woman. Nick took a deep breath as he realized just how much he had missed her. He walked forward, extended his hand to an apparently dissatisfied, balding Doctor Phil Sanchez and welcomed the delegation aboard. "I am sorry to have to inform you that I will not be able to be present during your inspection...at least not officially, since I'm on leave." DJ McKinny didn't realize how much she'd missed Nick until the moment she saw him. But as Dr. Lepage conversed with Phil Sanchez, DJ's delight was quickly replaced by concern. Something was wrong. Nick was as handsome and gregarious as ever. But his posture was off and there was a strange look in his eyes that sent a chill down her spine. And why was he addressing his remarks to Phil? Did he forget she was the primary on this inspection team? Or was Nick trying to avoid her? Had she not known Nick as well as she did, she might never have suspected a thing other than him forgetting who the team's leader was. But she did know him and after his unsolicited remark to Dr. Sanchez, DJ was absolutely certain her assessment of Nick Lepage was right on target. She fought down the urge to confront him about what was going on. As curious as she was, this wasn't the time or the place. The older man looked at him suspiciously but before he could ask his question Nick offered him an apologetic smile and explained, "I was injured during a recent away mission and I haven't yet been cleared for duty." Apparently Doctor Sanchez was satisfied with the explanation but judging by the look on DJ's face she was not. While he led the way to the guest quarters Nick tried to keep the conversation light. He pointed out some of the station's more interesting features and answered DJ's questions about her former staff. However, Nick was certain that once everyone else was in their quarters DJ would want to know exactly what had happened. He sighed inwardly. He didn't want to tell DJ everything that had happened. There was no reason to bring it all up again. As the three doctors and two Petty Officers arrived at the guest quarters Nick showed everyone to their assigned rooms and suggested they meet in sickbay the following day at 0900 hours. When Sanchez, his assistant and Petty Officer Wallace had disappeared into their quarters Nick turned and smiled at DJ. He pointed at the door in front of which he was standing. "These are your quarters. I hear they are nicer than the regular crew quarters." DJ smiled, partly in relief. It had been a long and tiring trip. Even more importantly, she would now have an opportunity to speak to Nick...alone. She nodded toward the door. "Come in for a minute," she said in a loud whisper. "We need to talk." She didn't wait for Nick to answer. Turning her back to him, she walked into the guest quarters, stopping just inside the door. She quickly surveyed her new accommodations and nodded her approval. "You were right," she quipped. "This is nicer than regular crew quarters." Dropping her bag on the sofa, DJ walked across the living/dining room and into the bedroom and ordered the lights on. It was much nicer than the one she had while stationed on Aegis. She turned back toward Nick who was standing in front of the sofa and studied him for a moment. Walking up to him, she stopped about a meter away and smiled nervously. "Are you okay?"

brought to you by MaLutke aka STSF Nickles and Nick Lepage This log takes place one hour after "Questioning". I didn't send it out any earlier because of some e-mail problems. MaLutke walked back into the room and over to Lepage. He picked up a whip this time and drew back cracking it in the air right under Lepage's nose. "Change your answer and I will go easy on you." Nick opened his eyes as he heard the doors open. When he saw the whip he braced himself for whatever might come next. "You know as well as I do that I cannot give you any information." He knew this was not exactly what MaLutke wanted to hear and he'd regret saying it. MaLutke drew back the whip once again and moved behind Nick. He first cracked the whip next to Nick's back, just close enough for him to feel the breeze from it moving past him. "One more chance. Who are you working for. Give me Something to work with." Nick gave a start as the whip cracked once again. He drew a deep breath and replied, "Lieutenant Commander Nicolas Lepage, CMO Sky Harbor Aegis, service number SC-152-595. How often do you still want me to recite this?" "I do not want a recital I want an answer. Your Captain said you were one of her senior officers, You have more than that as an answer." MaLutke again cracked the whip only this time Nick felt the dreaded sting burning at his back. Nick winced in pain, hoping he would pass out soon. At least then he wouldn't feel the pain for a while. "You should also know that as one of the senior officers I cannot disclose any information about our mission. It's the recital or nothing at all." MaLutke took the whip and cracked it a few more times on his back. Welts started showing from the previous hit. He stopped after three more hits. "Tell me what I want to know and this will all end." Blood began oosing from Nick's wounds. Nick felt the warm blood trickle down his back. The places where the whip had touched his skin were burning and while at first he had been able to stifle a scream of pain he had not been so successful as the whip cracked on his back the last time. He was breathing hard, his arms were hurting from instinctively trying to swing forward to avoid the whip. The trickles of blood, however, told him that his effort had been useless. "Lieutenant Commander Nicolas Lepage...you know the rest. I cannot tell you why were here." Once again MaLutke drew back the whip. "This is your last chance, tell me what I want to know." He swung the whip three more times, again cracking it on the broad back of the officer before him. Nick screamed out in pain as the whip cracked on the already bleeding wounds on his back. "You're not asking questions I can answer." Nick was beginning to think that the little information he had was not really worth all this. But still, it would be an infraction of the Prime Directive and he was determined not to give in. The question was how long he could still hold out. He drew another deep breath, closed his eyes and waited. "You have the heart of a Klingon I will give you that. I will leave you once again to think about you answers. I will allow you to one more chance. When I return I want more than your name, rank and service number.

After ensuring that there were no ships on long range sensors, and that the Box was fairly well hidden while her people recovered, Ethan turned the bridge over to one of the few that were fully back on duty, and headed down to Sickbay. In particular, she wanted to check in on Nick, who had probably taken the brunt of the mishandling. Nick was lying on a biobed. He was sure that the EMH had administered him the whole stock of analgesics. At least the pain was slowly subsiding. MaLutke had done a very thorough job torturing him. It had been Nick's first experience of this kind and while he wasn't keen on getting himself into a similar situation again he was still surprised that he hadn't given in. He just hoped the rest of the crew was ok. Ethan slipped quietly into Nick's room, separated from the rest of the crew due to the severity of his injuries. Fortunately, the EMH had been busy with another patient at the time, so he didn't stop her. She could sense that he was wake, and therefore made no attempt to disguise her approach. She didn't want to scare him, "Nick? It's Ethan." When Ethan spoke Nick turned his head and managed to smile a little. He hadn't heard her enter but he was glad she was there. There was something he wanted to find out. "Hey! What did you do to the EMH that he let you in?" Ethan smiled slightly, taking a seat beside him. She was tired... so tired, having felt near everything that not only Nick had gone through, but everyone else as well. "He was busy. I just slipped by. How are you feeling?" "Like someone just rescued me from a torture chamber. I'll live. How's everyone else?" Nick noticed that Ethan looked extremely tired. "You look like you need some sleep." Ethan smiled again, this time more wanly, "I'm okay. Timar was so intrigued that she never got around to the baser methods of interrogation to verify the story. I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep you out of it... I hope someday you can forgive me. As for everyone else... you're the worst, I'm afraid. We didn't lose anyone, at least--various degrees of injury, and I suspect we'll keep a counselor busy until the turn of the century." Nick chuckled but immediately regretted it as he winced in pain. "It's alright. You didn't plan for this to happen. I appreciate what you did back there." He was alluding to her reaching out to him mentally and encouraging him. He wasn't quite sure he hadn't just imagined it but her reaction would tell him whether he was right. "At least now I've got scars to show off." A small smirk escaped her lips, "I just wish it hadn't been the only thing that I could do... And you do know that the scars won't really be visible... not if the EMH does his job properly, anyways." Nick's smile vanished as he listened to Ethan's words. "Don't worry, you did what you had to do. I could have done without that experience but hadn't it been me MaLutke would have taken someone else. At least this way I'm sure he didn't get any information. Though he probably knows my service number by heart now." Ethan nodded, "I should really let you rest..." She started to get up. Nick tried to sit up and exhaled sharply as pain shot through his arms. It took him a few seconds before he could talk. "Ethan, I really mean it. You're not responsible for what happened. Try not to lay the blame on someone when nobody is to blame, really. It just wasn't our lucky day." Ethan reacted immediately when Nick started to move. Despite wincing herself, she put her arm behind him, taking the weight off of his arms, "Don't move like that! Dang it, Nick..." She eased him back down, giving him room to carefully move his arms out of the way. "I don't feel terrible... except about you. I gave them your name... I dragged you into this more than the others. I had hoped that they'd listen to our story before... before...." she trailed off, while pulling the light blanket back over him. Nick closed his eyes, actually grateful that Ethan had helped him lie back down. He hadn't expected his arms to hurt that much...not with the analgesics he had gotten. "Well, then don't feel terrible about me. It probably saved someone else a good beating. And I'd rather I'm lying here than one of the junior officers...or you." He opened his eyes again and grinned mischievously. "I'll get my revenge once we finally get around to playing hockey." She sat back down, and nodded, not sure what to say. "Listen, I don't want to keep you awake.. you *should* rest. and I should get back to the bridge. I just wanted to see how you were doing." "I'm fine, trust me. You could do me just one favour, though. Please get us back sometime close to when we left. DJ's coming back ot Aegis in about two weeks and I wouldn't want to miss her visit." With that he closed his eyes again. He was exhausted and the effect of the sedative finally seemed to set in. Ethan gave a soft half-laugh, "I'll do my best." She quietly left the room, not letting anyone see the tears that she did not allow herself to shed. "If I can get us out of this alive, anyways."

MaLutke moved up to the one called Lepage. He turned to the guards to give them their orders. "I'll take this one now. No sense in waiting. Their captain said he was her senior staff." Nick looked around at the Cardassians surrounding them, getting a bad feeling. When one of them pointed at him he swallowed hard. Taking one look at Ethan he moved slightly forward. The Commander gave him an encouraging look. He knew there was nothing else she could do for him. "What's going to happen to the rest of the crew?" MaLutke grinned at him. "They will all be taken to holding cells and await their turns. As for now you should worry about yourself not them. Now move." He said as he gave Lepage a nudge. Nick stumbled forward slightly. There was nothing for it but to comply. "Alright, alright. But don't think you'll get anything out of me." "We shall see about that. Your Captain gave you away when she said you were her senior staff. All senior staff know something." MaLutke pointed down the corridor for Lepage to follow. "You may wish to rethink that while we move ahead." "Trust me my mind is quite made up." Sounding much more confident than he actually felt Nick moved down the corridor, trying to come up with some kind of plan. Nothing occured to him though, so he kept following the Cardassian. MaLutke opened a door and pointed the way in. He then spoke to the guards who were with him. "I want him stripped of his shirt, his hands bound and then placed on the hook. Make certain that he is hanging by his arms and his legs are not touching the ground. Also be sure not to puncture his wrists when you hang him. The last one made quite a mess on my floor." Nick tried to look unimpressed as he heard the instructions given to his guards. He moved into the room and stood looking at MaLutke. "This is a waste of time, you should know that." He didn't resist as one of the guards removed his shirt quite forcefully and the other one bound his wrists in front of him. When they placed the hook and slowly hoisted him up he started wondering just how long he'd be able to keep up appearing so confident. Just hanging there would be painful after a while but Nick had a hunch that they had quite a bit more in store for him. MaLutke moved over to a closet type enclosure and opened it. He took out a long rod looking item and closed the door once again. He looked it up and down as he spoke to Lepage. "We shall see just how much of a waste of time this will be. I think you may change your mind." He then lowered the rod a bit and walked towards Nick, raising the rod once more. "You know, the Klingons had the right idea when they made these." He turned the end and the pain stick came to life with a hum. He then slowly walked around Nick with the charged end in the air placing it near Nick's face. "I want to know who you are and why you have taken on the identity of the Pandora's Box. We know where that ship is and you are not it. Answer my questions and nothing will happen to you." Nick eyed the pain stick suspiciously before looking straight at MaLutke. "Lieutenant Nicolas Lepage, CMO Sky Harbor Aegis, service number SC-152-595. That's all you're going to get out of me." "I was hoping we were going to be able to do this the easy way. But I see you are not going to cooperate." MaLutke then turned the power up and gave Nick a good jab in the side. "This is not pleasant for me either. NOW I'll ask you again. I want to know who you are and why you have taken on the identity of the Pandora's Box!! We know where that ship is and you are not it." Nick winced as the pain stick made contact with his side. His shoulders already started hurting and the rope was cutting into his wrists. Still he repeated stoically. "Lieutenant Commander Nicolas Lepage, CMO Sky Harbor Aegis, service number SC-152-595." MaLutke shook his head and turned up the juice. He once again jabbed Nick this time in a more sensitive area of his body, to his chest near his arm pit. "Who are you and why have you taken the identity of the Pandora's Box?" He asked while he watched Nick's body twitch from the power in the pain stick. He released it from his skin as he finished the question. "Just tell me and this will end." Nick only just managed to stifle a scream. "Lieutenant Commander Nicolas Lepage, CMO Sky Harbor Aegis, service number SC-152-595," he repeated, breathing hard. "That's all you're going to get from me." MaLutke called to his guards that had left the room. As they reentered he told them, "He is a strong one. Douse him. I want him completely wet from head to toe." He stood back and watched as the guards carried out their orders. Nick spluttered as an ice cold jet of water hit his face. It was so cold that, for a moment, he had trouble breathing. Within seconds he was soaked. Shivering, he was still dangling from the ceiling. For a splitsecond he thought about what information he would have to offer should he decide to talk. It wasn't much but still, he was not going to give it to this man. He stared at MaLutke, bracing himself for whatever might come next. "Have you ever seen what this does to one's skin? It sizzles it like a thin sliver of meat on a hot griddle," MaLutke said as he looked once again to the pain stick. "You've felt how it hurts dry, are you imagining what it's going to be with you wet? Why don't you save yourself the agony and tell me what I want to know?" Unfortunately, Nick had a pretty good idea what the pain stick would do to him now that he was wet. Yet he was determined not to give away any information. "Whatever information you want, I can't give it to you." He gave the Cardassian a hostile look. "I've said everything I have to say." "Then you have brought this on yourself." MaLutke again touched Nick with the pain stick. With him being wet, he entire body began jumping. Every muscle was contracting and releasing within micro seconds. MaLutke only left the pain stick in place long enough for Nick to get the full effect but not quite long enough to stop his heart, although it had occured to him. Once he stopped he asked Nick again. "Who you are and why you have taken on the identity of the Pandora's Box?" Nick felt every single muscle of his body contract painfully. This time he screamed out in pain. When the pain subsided he panted and it took him a few seconds before he could speak. "Lieutenant Commander Nicolas Lepage, CMO Sky Harbor Aegis, service number SC-152-595. If you want to kill me, go ahead but remember...I won't serve you dead." It was becoming harder and harder to keep this up. His shoulders felt like they were going to pop out any minute, his wrists were burning, he was shivering with cold and pain and every single muscle in his body was still hurting. He hoped the Cardassian would soon grow weary of this game but it was obvious this man meant business and he'd still have to endure quite some more of this before they'd let him go...if they did at all. MaLutke took a deep breath. "It's a shame you have to think that way. Why don't we leave you for a bit and allow you to think about your decision. I'll be back in an hour and see if you have changed your mind. Until then you can hang there. It will be safer for you since the floor is wet as are you." MaLutke set the pain stick to full charge and stepped back allowing it to fall into the water on the floor under Nick. "If you try to get down and touch the floor where it is wet, I assure you, you will not live to tell of this to anyone." He motioned to his guards to follow him out of the room but then stopped at the door. "And if you think you may want to try, my guards will be here watching to make sure you do not escape. They have orders to shoot to kill and they follow orders well. I will be back in an hour." Nick watched MaLutke leave the room. Then he looked around at the guards who were watching him with amusement. Obviously they were enjoying the show. As the door closed Nick tried to look around but every movement made pain shoot through his shoulders and wrists. He decided to remain as motionless as possible. Then the lights were turned off and he was left completely in the dark. This made him feel even more helpless than before. Being hung from the ceiling was one thing but not being able to see anything was...well. He started to shiver more violently. He closed his eyes, hung his head and tried to think of something else. He almost thought he could hear Ethan's voice telling him to hang on, whispering encouragements. One hour later Nick gave a start as the doors opened again. He had been thinking about his options. He knew that giving this man information about their mission was not only against regulations but it might have a serious impact on this timeline. Telling these people they were from the future trying to prevent a disaster would only evoke more questions. Besides, who would believe him anyway? So when MaLutke approached him with a wide grin on his face Nick was ready for the next round of this game.

This log takes place the evening prior to the senior staff meetings. Nick poked his head through the doors of his office and into main sickbay. He wanted to make sure nobody was around so he could finally leave without being accosted on his way out. It was 11 pm and he'd been working since 6 this morning. It seemed like lately he had only managed to get out of sickbay to catch a few hours sleep every night. Today would be different. He had planned to leave sickbay no later than 9 pm. Nick sighed. So far his plan had failed but 11 was still a good time. At least he'd still have time for a long shower, maybe a glass of wine and a good book. At this thought he smiled. Not long ago his idea of a good evening had been to go out and have a few drinks with his friends. Sickbay looked quiet tonight. Mary-Alice was checking on the vitals of a crewman who had come in earlier with a concussion. He was the only patient tonight. The lights were dimmed, the general bustle of the day had long since subsided and the only sound was the rustling of the blanket as the patient turned around. Myron was sitting at a desk at the other end of sickbay, his face was illuminated only by the bluish-green glow of the monitor in front of him. Nick smiled and decided to take this chance. He crossed the room, took another quick glance around as the door swished open and strode out into the corridor. Half an hour later Nick was leaving the bathroom, only wearing his most comfortable pants. He ordered a glass of Pinot Gris from the replicator, picked up a t-shirt that was lying on the armrest of his sofa and made his way to his desk. He put the glass down, quickly pulled on the shirt and sat down. Tonight, he had decided, he would take the time to talk to a very special friend again. Requesting a comm link to earth from the operations officer, he leaned back in his chair, sipped his wine and waited, a wide smile spread across his face. A couple of minutes later the unfamiliar face of a young Petty Officer appeard on the screen in front of him. The woman looked at him, apparently confused by his casual attire. Her eyes travelled from his old and faded t-shirt to the glass in his hand. Nontheless, the tone of her voice was polite when she spoke. "This is the office of Doctor McKinny, how can I help you, sir?" Nick put down the glass and sat up a little straighter in his chair. He hadn't expected DJ's secretary to answer the call. "I'd like to talk to Doctor McKinny, please." He was still smiling warmly. The woman frowned visibly and Nick got the feeling she was suppressing a sigh. "I'm sorry but she's very busy, sir. I cannot forward this call unless I know the reason for your call, I'm afraid." Lepage's smile grew wider. Obviously, DJ was lucky to have a very competent secretary working for her. This woman meant business and he knew he wouldn't have a chance of speaking to DJ unless his cause was deemed worthy of disturbing the boss. He leaned forward slightly. "Would you please tell Doctor McKinny that Commander Lepage, CMO of Sky Harbor Aegis needs to talk to her." The Petty Officer's eyes widened with surprise. "Please hold, I'll see whether Doctor McKinny is in her office." With that the screen went blank. Nick was sure the woman knew that DJ was in her office. She just wanted to announce the caller and probably check whether DJ really wanted to take the call. Within thirty seconds he knew the answer. Petty Officer Rebecca Wallace knocked twice on the door, then opened it and stepped inside. "Dr. McKinny," she said crisply, assuming an "at ease" position. "Yes, ma'am," answered DJ with a sly grin. She looked up knowing she would catch her administrative aide rolling her eyes. She wasn't disappointed. Becky was only twenty-three years old. She hated to be referred to as "ma'am." The Petty Officer was of the opinion such salutations were only appropriate for "older" personnel....such as her boss and officers of that generation. She made a terrible mistake the day she slipped up and let DJ in on that little secret. From then on, McKinny went to great lengths to use the dreaded term as often as possible when addressing Ms. Wallace. But Becky was learning how to roll with the punches. She shook her head slightly and returned the grin. "Commander Lepage from Sky Harbor Aegis is on the comm for you," she said with a sigh. "Really?" replied DJ, genuinely surprised. "Did you call him already?" The Petty Officer shook her head. "No, ma'am. I hadn't gotten that far yet. He's calling you." DJ smiled brightly. "Well, talk about perfect timing. By all means, put him through." DJ's face appeared on the screen in front of him. She looked surprised and tired but she was smiling. Nick smiled back at her. "Whoever this Petty Officer is who took the call, hold on to her!" McKinny laughed but not because of his remark. It had been a long time since she'd spoken to Nick Lepage. A lot of that was her fault. On more than one occasion she considered contacting him but always managed to talk herself out of it. Aegis was so far away. But now, here he was, smiling at her from the far reaches of the galaxy. And he looked pretty good, considering he was probably working fifteen to twenty hours a day. She was undeniably pleased to see him....more pleased than she cared to admit. "I see you met Petty Officer 2nd Class Rebecca Wallace," replied DJ. "Don't worry. I plan to hold onto her forever. She's my most valuable asset." Nick nodded. "I don't doubt that." He had been longing to talk to DJ for ages but now that he had the chance, he didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry for the casual style," he said, pointing at his t-shirt. "I just managed to get away from work. You know how it is. Since you abandoned me, I'm stuck with a whole pile of paperwork," he added with a grin. "But enough about me. I won't pretend I had anything like an important reason to call you. I just wanted to see how you were doing." Lepage had decided to go with the truth. Knowing DJ, he was sure she'd have figured out the true reason of his call within seconds anyway. Just before DJ left the station Nick finally had the guts to ask her out on a date. He knew it had only been possible because she was leaving. DJ had been more than just his boss, she had been his mentor and a genuine friend and he had always wished that she could have been more. Her departure had made any relationship impossible, though. Now he contented himself with imagining everything that could have been and with calling her every once in a while. Good enough, he thought as he looked into the familiar face. At least she still was a very good friend and he was sure that if he ever needed advice she'd be happy to help him out. "Any reason you have is good enough for me," said DJ. "I always enjoy hearing from you. And don't worry about your attire." She grinned mischievously. "At least you're clean and I don't see any black eyes. Not that you have time for that sort of thing anymore." She leaned back in her chair and raised a brow. "As for all that paperwork, you should learn to delegate." "I'm seriously considering moving all my personal stuff to my office. I only need my quarters to sleep, so why bother coming here," Nick had meant this comment to be humorous but his tone revealed that he was not entirely happy with the situation. He sighed. "You're right, if I don't learn to delegate, I will probably never have a personal life again. Anyway, I hope I didn't call at a bad time." McKinny chuckled."You must have ESP", continued DJ, trying hard to remain somewhat professional. "I ordered Becky to put in a call to you not more than ten minutes ago. I need to talk to you about your facility's biannual inspection. You'll never guess who they tapped to do the audit." Nick's jaw dropped. She couldn't possibly be serious! "I..you...YOU?!? DJ, that's the best news since...well I guess since Benoît was born and he's 2 years old now." Nick's mind was reeling. DJ had just told him that he would see her sooner than he thought. He laughed. "DJ, that's wonderful! Do you think we'd get into trouble if I asked the inspector out on a date?" "I'm one of two inspectors, said DJ quickly. "However, I will be the primary on this little adventure. My partner is a staff physician at Vandenberg. His name is Phil Sanchez. He's just a few years away from retirement. I met him for the first time a couple of weeks ago." She paused and smiled sadly. "Nothing personal, but I'm afraid he's less than enthused about this particular assignment. We were both recently posted to the accreditation committee. They always pawn off the less desirable locations to those of us with little or no seniority. So, Phil is pretty down in the dumps about getting stuck with Aegis." McKinny again smiled brightly. "On the other hand, I'm positively thrilled. I told them I'd worked out there for a year. But they seem confident Phil and I will be able to conduct a thorough and impartial audit." DJ couldn't help giggling. "The truth is, I think we were the only two left on the list and they couldn't find anyone willing to switch places with me." She continued smiling as she watched Nick carefully on the small screen. "So, tell me, Dr. Lepage. Which inspector would you like to ask out on a date?" Nick shrugged and smiled mischievously. "I think I'Il ask Sanchez. Sounds like the man could do with a good dinner and an evening with a nice person such as I am." "I'm sure he could," said DJ with a wry smile. "But he might think you were trying to bribe him or something." "Seriously, DJ, I'm really glad to hear that you're coming back out here, even if it's just for a few days. So when will you be here? I need to order some ingredients for the dinner." McKinny leaned back in her chair and studied the handsome image smiling back at her. "I just got the orders yesterday. I need a couple of weeks to prepare for the trip and Dr. Sanchez seems to think he won't be able to leave for a month. I doubt that's true. He's just stalling....putting off the inevitable." She canted her head to one side and looked up at the ceiling. "I'm going to meet with him day after tomorrow. I think I'll tell him we need to be on our way in two weeks. Then it will take another two or three days to get out there....." DJ smiled and again leaned forward in her chair. "That's the best I can do for now. I'll let you know when I have a definitive departure and arrival date." Her smile faded slightly as she continued. "There's a list of documents we'll need to review for the inspection. We're sending that off to you later today. I know it's more work for you but if you have those documents ready when we arrive, the audit will only take a couple of days to complete. I'm bringing Petty Officer Wallace with me and Phil's assistant is tagging along as well." She frowned slightly. "I'm afraid these inspections are somewhat tedious. We may not have time for a date during the inspection. And I'm certain Phil and his assistant will want to head home as soon as we finish. Becky may not want to hang around either. However......" DJ again smiled brightly. "I was thinking I could take some leave and stay on Aegis for a few days. What do you think?" Nick pretended to be thinking a few seconds before answering. "I think that these inspections only exist to annoy hard working doctors," he paused. "But for a date with such a beautiful and charming lady I'd do just about anything," Nick paused again, frowned slightly, looked at the ceiling and then grinned. "Except mabye give up singing in the shower. So, just send me the documents. I promise I'll have them all filled out when you arrive. And I'm sure you know what I think about you staying for a few days after the inspection." He leaned forward until his nose almost touched the screen, looked around as if making sure that noone was listening and then whispered, "I'll cook dinner for you every day, if you like." DJ nodded approvingly. "Sounds like a plan to me" she said. "You'll have the list by tomorrow or the day after. And I'll get back to you as soon as I know when we're leaving." Then she moved closer to the screen and lowered her voice just as Nick had done. "As far as dinner is concerned, I can't wait to enjoy your cooking once again. But I don't want you to spend all of your time in the kitchen. I'll be happy to whip up a meal or two myself." McKinny suddenly pulled away from the screen as she heard the familiar double knock on the door. A moment later, Petty Officer Wallace stepped into the office. "Lt. Jansen is here to see you," said the Petty Officer. DJ nodded. "I'll be with him in a moment." She waited until Becky left the office and closed the door behind her before again turning her attenton to the small screen on her desk. "I'm afraid I have to go," she said, her voice tinged with disappointment. "But I'll see you soon. Take care of yourself."

Owen strode down the corridor toward the turbolift. He was angry, frustrated and extremely confused. They had finally found out who had tampered with the holodeck safeties but Owen was still not sure why exactly. The Ensign hadn't been very coherent. Now Owen was on his way to see Megan. He wanted her to know what had happened. "Computer, locate Lieutenant Marshall." The computer replied in its usual semi-cheery tone, totally unaware of Owen's angst. "Lt. Marshall is in her quarters." Owen entered the turbolift and ordered it to deck 3. As the doors opened he stepped out and quickly made his way down the corridor. In front of Megan's quarters he stopped and took a deep breath before ringing the chime. Then he waited for a response. From somewhere inside, Megan called, "Enter!" The doors opened in front of him. She was sitting on the sofa, reading. Looking up, she smiled, "Buddha. What brings you here?" Owen entered, still obviously upset but he smiled despite himself. "What are you reading?" He decided to go for some small talk before telling her why he was really here. Megan smirked, knowing he'd probably laugh, "Romeo and Juliet. What's up, love? You look like you're ready to take on a Jem Hadar battalion single-handedly." She patted the cushion next to her, inviting him to sit. Owen frowned and looked confused for a second. "Wow, Shakespeare, eh?" He walked over to the sofa and slumped down on the cushion Megan had patted. "I've got...well...I guess it's good news." He turned to look at her, not sure how exactly he should explain what had just happened. Megan frowned slightly, "The way you look it doesn't seem like good news. What happened?" She quietly laid one hand on his knee in a comforting way. He reached out and took her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm just...well he spit at me...several times." Now Megan was really confused, and frowned, "Who? Why?" Owen rubbed his temple with his free hand. "I accidentally bumped into the guy who...was responsible for your last trip to sickbay, Megan." She frowned further still, not understanding, "What? Owen, are you okay? Do I need to get Troll over here? You're not making any sense." "Huh? I'm ok, yes. I told you...the guy who turned off the holodeck safeties. He was...it was crazy. Ok, so I was walking back to the NNC when there's this engineer telling me that it's a drag noone died in the holodeck incident. Can you imagine that?" Owen shook his head looking pleadingly at Megan, hoping she'd understand this time. "Wait.. I thought they already had the guy? That crazy kid from Security. It wasn't him?" She frowned yet again, "And he was disappointed that no one died? He's even more a nutter than the other kid." Owen nodded. "I'm telling you. He was strolling down the corridor in the NNC and telling me that he'd have wanted you to die. Babbling something about us being killing machines and...I tell you he was...whoa! I don't get it, Megan." She reached up and patted his cheek, "Don't worry over it. He's probably been sniffing the warp coolant." Owen was a bit surprised at the sudden change of subject. Instead of answering he reached out and embraced Megan. "I'm...glad you're here." Megan hugged him back, running her fingers down his back lightly. "I'm glad I'm here too... It'd be hard to find myself if I were someplace else." He chuckled. "I'd help find you. So, I'm off duty for today. Got any plans except for reading?" Megan shrugged, "Nothing much, really. Had a little down time, and just thought I'd take it easy. You?" "Taking it easy sounds good. How about I go take a quick shower, come back and we have dinner together and...well we'll see?" Owen was actually glad Megan hadn't suggested anything that involved too much activity...physical or other. He'd had enough action for one day and just wanted to relax a bit. Megan suddenly grinned, "I have a tub... if you want to borrow it. My only 'luxury'--used up my entire replicator allowance for it, but it was worth it. Has real water and jets for a water-massage... " She smiled kindly, "I can find us something to eat while you soak, if you want." Owen tightened his embrace ever so slightly and grinned impishly. "It sounds very tempting actually...is it big enough for two?" Megan rolled her eyes, "And here you sounded tired just a minute ago. Yes, it's big enough for two.. though a little tight, perhaps..." Looking innocent Owen tried to defend himself. "Hey, I'm just being a gentleman! I wouldn't want you to miss out on a nice bath." She shook her head, "Yeah, I'm sure..." She shrugged, "It's your call, love. I'll join you if you really want." "Of course I really want or I wouldn't have asked. Besides, I fear that if you leave me in there alone I might come out smelling like I just fell into a flowerbed. It's amazing how many different soaps women seem to need." Megan raised a brow, "Can you really see me with a million different soaps? I have three... one for everyday, one for relaxation, and one for memories of home. That's it." She stood, grabbing his hand, and pulling him to his feet, "You realize you are only the second person on this ship to see this, besides me? You'd best keep it to yourself." Owen smirked as he nodded letting Megan lead him to her bathroom. "You bet I will or people will queue up before your quarters wanting to take a bath." Megan nodded, turning on the water, and setting the temperature. "Yeah. Only Paradox knows.. well, Medusa probably knows too, but T'Loren is the only one that's used it other than me." "I'm honoured. I only have the regular sonic shower. You know how I am, I only need the essentials." He stooped to pull off his boots and socks. "But I have to admit that every now and then some real water is nice." Megan nodded, "Oh, yes. Very nice. It's relaxing after a long hard mission." She stepped to his side, helping him with the jacket from his uniform. Owen smiled and shrugged off his jacket before gently pulling Megan's top over her head. "Have I already told you how good you're looking tonight, Megan?" Megan smiled, "No, actually.. you've been obsessed with some engineer. I'm not sure you've even noticed me." She leaned down to kiss him, making fully sure he noticed her this time. Owen returned the kiss. After pulling back he looked her up and down. "He wasn't half as sexy as you," he finally said with a smirk. Megan laughed, the sound echoing through the small room. "Well! I should hope not... or I might feel obliged to do something to get your attention." "Oh, trust me, you have my full attention now." He pulled off his pants then leaned past Megan to dip his hand into the water. With a grin of mischief, she used his motion to 'help' him into the water.. head first. Owen fell into the tub with a splash. He came up spluttering. "I'll get you for that M&M, come here!" He jumped up quickly and grabbed her around the waist from behind as she tried to turn away. Then he dropped back into the tub, pulling her with him. She landed on top of him with a soft thud and a splash. She twisted around to face him, pulling his head up out of the water, and using one leg to push him around to a more comfortable position. "That's better," she murmured, then lowered her head to kiss him again. He leaned into her kiss and closed his eyes. After a long moment he pulled away and smiled at Megan. Wrapping his arms around her he leaned back and relaxed. "We should have done this before now." With a contented smile, she nodded, "Perhaps so."

Harry was walking through Marine territory, with engineering kit in hand. He wasn't on a specific assignment, but rather was looking to hear a little gossip on how his failed attempt to exact justice was being taken. So far, it wasn't good. They had barely even noticed.. and the ones that had, were calling him a coward. Then he noticed someone up ahead... the marine that they said had been involved in the holodeck fiasco. Perhaps he could get more information. "Good afternoon, sir." Owen had just come back from the shuttle bay. He hardly noticed the engineer who greeted him. Giving a vague nod of acknowledgement he walked on. His mind was on the tactical maps he still wanted to study. Harry couldn't believe this guy was totally ignoring him. Didn't he have the slightest clue?! Clearing his throat, he tried again, "Excuse me, but weren't you on of the marines involved in the holodeck incident?" Turning around Owen looked a bit closer at the engineer. Why on Earth was he asking him about the incident. He shrugged. Maybe he was one of those guy who were checking the holodeck and he needed information. "Yes," he said warily. "Why?" Harry inwardly smirked... So this guy HAD been there. "Oh, I was just curious, sir. We heard about it down in engineering. I guess you're glad your skills weren't too good that day, eh?" Owen was getting annoyed. What was this guy thinking? "I don't see how this is any of your business, Ensign. All I'm glad of is that noone died that day." Harry nodded, "Oh, I understand, sir. It must be hard to know that you aren't the 'cream of the crop', as they say. Still, good for the other person." Owen stepped a little closer to the Ensign. He was considerably taller than the junior officer. "Watch it, Ensign, I would like to remind you that this is not the appropriate way to talk to a superior." Harry didn't give ground in the slightest. In fact, he liked to watch this guy bluster to try to feel more powerful. "You aren't my superior. You're nothing but a jarhead... and apparently a pathetic one at that. You couldn't even do a proper job in the holodeck and kill that little.." He suddenly bit off the rest of his sentence, realizing he'd probably said too much. But, it galled him that they didn't have a clue! Now Owen lost it completely. He grabbed the young man by his uniform jacket and lifted him several inches off the ground. "That little what? Speak your mind Ensign! That little WHAT?!?" Harry looked at this psycho, outwardly calm. He coughed once, as the jarhead nightmare was choking off his air supply. "You're all insane. You're all just killing machines! Couldn't you at least kill one of your own? But no, you're too pathetic for even that!" Suddenly Owen realized that this must be the guy who had turned off the safeties. Why...he could only guess. He moved his face so close to the Ensign's that their noses almost touched. His voice was low and menacing. "I almost killed another marine because of your little stunt. I'll get your sorry *** for this. You've got no idea how lucky you are that I didn't find out who it was right away. You disgust me...you don't deserve to wear that uniform." That was it.. Harry'd had enough, "I don't deserve. YOU NEVER deserved to wear that uniform. Sure, you're all tough, and you can kill Fleeters in cold blood and never think twice, but if one of 'your own' gets so much as a papercut, you're out for our blood again. It's too bad that little slut didn't die. At least then you would have learned that you aren't invincible... Everyone else already knows you're too stupid to really be useful." "We marines do not hide behind our consoles, waiting for the dirty job to be done by someone else. I've risked my life more than once for others, Fleeters and Marines... and I'd do it again without thinking twice about it. It's my job and it's about time you learned to respect that, Ensign." Harry spit in his face, "You're nothing but a killer! Admit it! And those two posing as the command staff... They let you get AWAY with it! Talk about the Blue Wall of Silence. I can't wait until we get back to civilization, and you people are forced to stop playing like you're gods." Owen resisted the urge to beat the living daylights out of this insolent little prick. He lowered him back to the ground but didn't loosen his grip. His voice was surprisingly calm. "You're off to the the brig and trust me...you won't keep those pips...not if I can help it at any rate. And if I were you I'd not be looking forward to getting back to Federation space." Harry shook his head, "Oh.. I'm scared. I'm quaking in my boots... You're pathetic. You're worse than the scum that the security guy called you. So tough.... you're nothing but a murdering coward." Harry reached a hand into his jacket, pulling the knife that he kept there for self defense. Just in time Owen realized that the Ensign had drawn a knife. He grasped the young man's wrist and twisted his arm. It was rather painful for the Ensign but also very effective. He dropped the knife and Owen pushed him back against the bulkhead. "If you really believe I'm nothing more than a killing machine, this move was very foolish. The knife would have given me an excellent excuse. Now, move it. I'm sure Commander JoNs will be glad to find we've finally caught you." Harry frowned. This was not going the way he'd envisioned. He struggled ineffectively to get loose. He tried to hit, kick, even bite his 'captor'. "MURDERER," he screamed. "Someone help me! This guy is trying to kill me!" Owen ignored the Ensign's efforts to free himself. He dragged him off the the nearest turbolift, not caring about the looks they were drawing from all directions. There would be enough time to explain later. "Scream as much as you want. It won't help you." Unfortunately for Harry, all of the looks were from other Marines, who knew Buddha and knew this guy must be a nut-job. The looks turned to sympathy for 1Lt. Matthews as the guy spit again.