Cmdr Ayers

Nick is staring out at the stars and lost in his thoughts so he doesn't notice the arrival of several Federation Transports escorted by a pair of Starships. "Commander, Task Force 67A has arrived. Captain Kelain of the USS Valdemar is requesting permission to begin transferring over equipment, supplies and personnel to begin repairs to the Station," Lieutenant Shaharin reports. Nick stifles a yawn before turning to address the young Lieutenant standing at Tactical. "Permission is granted. And tell Captain Kelain that he and his ships are a very welcome sight for sore eyes." He pauses slightly then adds "Inform the Captain of the Task Force's arrival as well." Nick turns back to face the windows to watch two of the transport ships maneuver for docking. As he does so he stifles another yawn. Grumbling to himself, he turns and heads for the turbolift as he says "Lieutenant, you have the Br....Conn until the Captain returns. I'm going to go try and get some rest before I fall asleep on my feet." As he steps into the turbolift he thinks "And before Ethan shows up to play mother hen," to himself. He can only hope that his mind would actually let him get some sleep. After periods of emotional overload, his mind has a tendency to conjure up dreams and nightmares bad enough that it kept him from sleeping much. So far in the last several nights he had relived the battle from a few days earlier though in those nightmares in addition to the foes they had fought a swarm of Borg and Dominion had also made an appearance. The one from last night featured no known enemies and not even the ones that assaulted the station. It instead had featured a nasty insectoid race that, for the life of him, Nick could not recall ever having come across before. Unless they were from some memory that was buried so deep and from so long ago that it would only show itself in his dreams."

The elation that Nick had felt at the arrival of the Klingons had lasted all of five seconds. Then the realization hit home...they had survived....and were going to have to clean and repair nearly the entire Station. Hot on the heels of that was the memory of how many people had died during the fight. Privately Nick wondered if Starfleet would be willing to bend the rules and award a medal to Gabrel posthumously. The Cardassian had certainly earned the honor even if Nick didn't exactly agree with the methods the Cardassian had chosen to use. He would inquire with the Captain about the idea once Nick had finished the various paperwork that would need to be filed, as well as the numerous commendation recommendations he intended to make for the actions of the rest of the crew. Lost in his thoughts, it takes Nick a few seconds to notice the Doctor kneeling before him. The Doctor starts tending to the cut above Nick's left ear. "Doctor, I'm fine. There are people more injured then I am. Tend to them." The Doctor frowns "Commander, be quiet and be still. You could have a concussion as well as that cut." Nick frowns "A console blew up just after I jumped back from it. I didn't hit my head against it. It probably would have took off my head if I hadn't felt the electrical surge, however. As I said..there are people who have worse injuries then I do." The look the Doctor gives Nick in reply is enough to shut Nick up. Fiona used to give him that same look when she thought he was too concerned about everyone else and not concerned enough about himself. Nick had persisted despite that look once and had brought upon himself a guilt trip that outstripped any his mother had cause to use. Nick sighs and closes his eyes, letting the Doctor tend to him without a further word. He stifles a yawn causing the Doctor to say "You really should get some sleep, Commander." Nick blinks his eyes open and says "No...I'll sleep later. There's too much I have to do." The Doctor replies, "When was the last time you slept?" Nick frowns "Before this mess started. And no..no sedative. I will sleep later but not right now." The last thing he wants to deal with right now was the nightmares that his mind would conjure as a result of the carnage around him.

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With some effort Nick forces his feelings under the surface. Which is more difficult because the current situation could be best described as an emotional sensory overload. Between protecting the others, taking care of the enemy and watching out for himself, it was difficult to maintain one's own identity in a sea of fear, hatred, anger, determination and death. For most of the others they saw people, friends and enemies die. Nick felt the emotional shadows of each and every death even with his mental shields in place. Feeling someone, even an enemy, cross the razor's edge that separated being alive from being dead was a bone-chilling sensation, one that had been an emotional stain on Nick's soul from the Dominion War. This, an elderly El Aurian friend of the family had reminded Nick, was why their people tended to stay in support roles within the Federation and Starfleet. Not many were brave enough....or foolish enough to be willing to pay the price. Nick feels someone brush against him and he glances down to see some young Ensign lean out to take a shot. Nick reaches to pull the Ensign back, thinking the Ensign was leaning out a little too far. As he does so an energy bolt from one of the enemy's weapons slices through the air close enough for Nick to feel it. Nick watches in mute horror as the shot from the energy weapon catches the Ensign full on in the chest. The Ensign is dead even before he hits the ground. "Quick, relatively painless...and an utter waste." Nick mutters to himself as he briefly wonders if that visit from death had been meant for him.

It was strange and more then a little ironic, Nick thinks to himself as he watches the viewscreen, that one of his worst fears was outliving everyone that he had ever cared for and loved and here he was most likely about to die centuries before some of the best Doctors in the Federation thought would be the end of his life. Truth to tell, the thought of dying now before he had seen what benefits that longevity could bring combined with the thought that his crewmates...his friends and family by proxy were also going to die was more then enough reason for Nick to consider the beings on the ships approaching with the same loathing that he reserved for the Borg. He glances briefly down at one of the smaller display panels and for the fourth time checks that the torpedo firing program was ready in case that the 80+ incoming warheads got through the point-defense systems. The Captain hadn't ordered it but if they were about to die, Nick reasoned that at the least they could take the huge alien ship with them. He could reason that it would help protect Cardassia Prime but in all honesty it was more out of a desire for revenge then anything quite so charitable. As he watches the distances between the alien torpedos and the Station close he checks his memory to see that he had remembered to send three last messages. The first message was for his family, he didn't want to face death and leave them in the dark about it. Especially his father. His father had railed hard against Nick's assignement to Cardassia, saying that it was time and effort wasted on a wasted species. Nick had tried to explain the reasons that had led to his choice but his father, with typical human stubbornness hadn't accepted the reason. There was also a separate message for his various step-siblings but as they were far older then he was he hadn't exactly been real close with any of them. Still, they deserved the last act of respect. The last message had been sent to two old friends. A blinking light draws Nick's attention back to the present and with it all thoughts of the past are gone.

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I'll tell you one thing. If the primates we came from had known that one day politicians would come out of the gene pool, they'd have stayed up in the trees and written off evolution as a bad idea." --Babylon 5, ""The Long Dark" Nick mutters under his breath as he moves the light around to try and get a better view of the damaged wires that usually fed the display panel on his console on the Control Tower. The repair of the display panel is low priority...which is why he was fixing it and not one of the engineers. They were needed for more important things. The cold leaching through the thin carpet against his back combined with the difficulty of completing what should have been a relative simple repair was doing nothing to assuage Nick's foul mood. What was really bothering him though was the decision of the Cardassian government to not inform their people about what was probably going to happen. The functionary that had informed the Captain and Nick of the government's decision had tried couching it as a way to prevent mass-panic and the riots that they led to. Admittedly, part of Nick even agreed with that decision. It took a few minutes for Nick to decide that was the human side of him agreeing and that was only partially. The El Aurian side saw it in a completely different light. The idea that the leaders of a people would be willing to let their people march off to oblivion while completely ignorant and oblivious to it is repugnant to Nick. Treating them as children who needed to be protected from the "bogeyman" was inhumane. They have a right to know what was most likely going to happen to them, if only so they can prepare for what lies beyond. Though personally Nick was pretty certain there was no beyond. The idea of there being a beyond implied that there was some cosmic plan, that something or someone was out there waiting. Which wasn't really what Nick objected to, it was the idea that the supposed being was beneficent that bothered Nick. There was simply too much evil in the Universe for it to be explained as the idea of some supposed cosmic and celestial being that only wanted what was best for everyone. Somewhere along the Beta and Delta Quadrant border there was a lifeless husk of a planet that was all the proof that Nick needed to know there was no "beyond" and certainly no cosmic being waiting.

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A warning bell goes off in the back of Nick's mind when the Captain says "Your a lot older than me, thoughts?" On face value, it is a simple statement that is patently wrong. Unless Nick is incapable of judging ages in Andorians, then it was obvious the Captain is the elder being. That left that it was the Captain who was incapable of judging age in humans, even a half-breed such as Nick. Or..it was simply the Captain's means of fishing for information from Nick's El-Aurian heritage. Unfortunately any info that Nick could provide as an El Aurian would be meaningless unless they found out who was pulling off the attacks. Nick couldn't provide information if he didn't know what he was supposed to be providing information about. If they found out who is behind the attacks then anything Nick knows about them could be told to the Captain....probably. The existence of El Aurians within the Federation..even before the Federation even existed had always been a tightrope act, the line between living in the Federation and interfering with it's development being incredibly thin. On one side was the pitfall of being heartless and on the other was the pitfall of divulging knowledge that was better left unknown. And while the tightrope had widened since the Federation "found out" about the El Aurians, that doesn't mean it had gone away. More then a few times over the last century Starfleet Intelligence and others had decided that the El Aurians knew something that they weren't telling and that had to be corrected. Or that surely that new technology could be gleaned from a race that had been space-faring for centuries before Earth. And Starfleet Intel had a bad habit, according to the El Aurians that had unfortunately became of interest to Starfleet Intel, of acting a lot like certain 20th century organizations. Some things were better left secret until the time was right. Nick can only hope that this wouldn't be one of those situations.

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During the hours that it takes the Pandora's Box to return to the Station, Nick finishes the reports and updates Starfleet. He transmits the reports as he sense the ship near the station. He stands and steps towards the doors as he feels the ship slow down to Impulse. He steps through the doors and glances briefly at the viewscreen, frowning slightly at the damage that is still so very obvious. Saying to the Bridge crew in general "Drop the freighter a safe distance from the Station and then summon a replacement crew here. I want the Pandora fully crewed until the Station's defenses are operational. I'm returning to the Station now." Nick's attention again returns to the viewscreen and the frown deepens as his gaze traces over the damage. Admittedly he wanted to find the attackers alive in the dark hope that they would attack. He wanted to know if they were quite so willing to do so when their target wasn't lying defenseless. That someone or something else killed them only meant the answers to why and what was going on would likely go unanswered. Nick long ago stopped believing in coincidences, whoever killed the ones that attacked the Station did not just happen upon them by happenstance.

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Co-written with the Captain. Nick glances up as the Cardassians beam aboard. For a split second his mind goes back to when during the war a group of Cardassians had beamed aboard his ship. Just as quickly he reminds himself that this time the Cardassians did not have murderous intent. He pushes himself to his feet and steps towards the lead Cardassian. He says "I'm the First Officer here. A lot of my crew, including the Captain, needs medical attention. We also need to secure the station and will need assistance with repairs so we'll need everyone you can spare." Nick pauses momentairly and then says in a cold matter of fact tone "And I want one of your Galor class ships to accompany my ship. We have some hunting to do, I would like your assistance in tracking down who did this to us..before they attack someone else." Without waiting for the expected objection, Nick switches his attention to Demore. "Lieutenant, contact Mr. Gabrel, Mr. Andrews and either Doctor Images or Doctor Sheepy and have them and yourself beam over to the Pandora's Box with me. Round up a skeleton crew for her as well." The Cardassian stood, not moving and simply folded his arms. "My orders are to protect this station until your Starfleet arrives. My ships aren't going anywhere and none of my people are helping fix your station. It's a good thing you and your superior, wherever he is, weren't in charge during the war. We'd had been the victors...", he mumbled. Nick looks back at the Cardassian, managing to keep from decking the arrogant son of a..... Nick draws himself up to his full height which is still at least an inch shorter then the Cardassian. "The war is over, Gul," Nick refrains from saying "and you lost it." but he does say "...and now we have a new enemy to deal with. An enemy that managed to do a lot of damage to this station. Imagine what that enemy could do to your ships or to your planets. I would think that you would have as much interest in finding out who did this and stopping them as we do. As for helping repair this station that is also in your interest. There are more then a few Cardassians aboard and this station is central to the rebuilding of your world. Not to mention the fact that if this station blows up your ships will be destroyed by the shockwave and quite possibly a large chunk of the station might head in the direction of Cardassia Prime. Helping to repair the station is helping to protect it." Nick turns to walk away but then turns back "Oh and did I forget to mention that we were the ones that stuck around and evacuated your entire planet when we all thought it was going to blow up? Using your reasoning my people and I should have walked away. How fortunate for your people, Gul, that we chose otherwise." Nick watches the reaction in the Gul's eyes to what he had said. Just when the Gul is about to say something Nick smiles and says "Have your ships stay here if you want, Gul, I can certainly understand the choice. I will make sure to thank your government for your assistance. It'll reflect well on your record I'm sure." Nick turns his attention to Lieutenant Quark and says "Until the Captain or Commander Hawke are on their feet, I'm leaving you in charge here. Send an update to Starfleet and request that they send reinforcments. Also request that they send at least one ship to rendevous with the Pandora." Nick glances at Mr. Demore "Energize when you're ready, Lieutenant." While waiting for the transporter beam to activate, Nick glances at the Cardassian's. As he does so he remembers something Terra, his sister, had said about the Dominion and the Cardassian's during the war, "They are a dying people's, we should let them pass." Nick had pointed out to her at the time that the same exact thing could be said of them. The debate that had followed had been his sister's true intent. A means of providing the outlet for the anger and rage she had sensed from her elder brother as he saw people he knew and cared about go to their eternal rest because of the Cardassians and the Dominion. The Gul stood there motionless, his arms still folded. The tall figure of a man groaned slightly and glanced to the figure to his left. In response, this subordinate nodded slightly and walked away..pulling out some form of a communicator. "You shall have an escort, Commander Ayers of station that's still an occupational force. Should it get destroyed, I will have this station on a...what do you say...platter?" As the transporter beam takes a hold of Nick, he spears the Cardassian with a glare. He thinks "Only over my dead body will you harm them." as he disappears.

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Nick follows the Captain out of the office. If thoughts could kill, the Station's Commanding Officer would be nothing more then a small pile of ash on the floor. Nick briefly considers having one of the security guards make sure the Captain's destination in search of food would be limited to his quarters. Instead Nick keeps his mouth shut, deciding that he really doesn't want to have to explain why. Besides, right now Nick has no desire to protect the Andorian from himself. Nick waits until the Captain has left before he says sharply "Lieutenant Shaharin, you're in charge here. If anything comes up that needs the attention of a senior officer, contact me." With that, Nick disappears into one of the other turbolifts, intent on returning to the holodeck. The program he has in mind right now is very much different then the one from earlier. The turbolift descends a couple decks then slows to a stop. The doors open and a young Betazoid Science officer takes a step to enter. The junior Officer's eyes widen in shock and he backpedals. Nick frowns in some confusion as the doors slide close. He swears darkly as he realizes what caused that reaction in the other person. His anger and shock at what the Captain had said had managed to bleed through his shields like the mental and emotional equivalent of a flare. Nick quickly strengthens his mental shields even as he senses a familiar touch on his mind. Having seen to the 'comfort' of Dr. Images, Ethan leaves the brig area, intending to return to her desk and complete paperwork. She has not even the time to sit down, however, before she senses a dark cloud of anger. Reaching out carefully, she touched his mind gently, confirming what she already sensed--he was mad as hell.... {{Nick? What's wrong, and don't tell me nothing. I know better than that.}} As she sent the thought to him, she turned and headed out the door. "Computer, locate Commander Ayers." She had a feeling that he would try to downplay what he was feeling, if he didn't attempt to deny it outright. Perhaps, confronted with her physical presence, he would be more willing to talk. Nick frowns in concentration {{Ethan, it's not....}} As he forms the words in his mind, the image of the Betazoid science officer's face floats before Nick's mind's eye. Sighing, he thinks {{Very well. I'll meet you at Drankum's unless you have something else in mind.}} Normally Nick would be reticent to talk about personal problems and concerns. He had always kept part of himself cloaked in shadows, wary and afraid to discuss the darker aspects of himself. Still, the Universe always seemed to provide him with a few people he could be more open with, people like his family obviously or certain people he knew from his time on the USS Venture or Starbase 315. He is grateful to Ethan that she seemed to insist on that role here on Aegis but Nick isn't sure why she did. It seemed, to him, to be more trouble then it could possibly be worth. Nick shrugs and makes his way towards Drankum's. He arrives at Drankum's after a few minutes and after checking for Ethan he has one of the hosts show him towards a table off to the side of the main crowd. The waiter that shows up a few seconds later tries not to sound disappointed at Nicks' ordering a Chiraltan tea instead of something more expensive. Unbidden his thoughts turn back to what the Captain had said. He shakes his head, dismissing the thoughts. Nick takes a sip of the tea as settles back in the chair to wait. His wait isn't long, for Ethan makes her way over to his table a few moments later. She didn't even need the direction provided by the host, as she is guided far more easily by the dark cloud emanating from Nick's mind. Absentmindedly, she orders a vanilla milkshake from the hovering waitperson. There is a slight breeze as the waiter beats a rapid retreat. Sitting down, she peers at his face, concerned. She is unsure of what has happened, but it is certain that it had upset him, deeply. "So, what happened?" He doesn't answer for a few seconds, taking the time to gather his thoughts and gain some more control over his emotional state. Finally he sighs "It's nothing that would have really bothered me if it hadn't been such a...rral...messed up and bloody bad week because of the aftermath of the Mogg trial. And Images' antics haven't exactly helped either. Unity knows that I wasn't in the best of emotional states before today's little meeting in the observation lounge. My apologies but I'm afraid that you sensed me overreacting to something the Captain said. I'll start with that I figured out why the Captain was so..touchy today. He's in dire need of some rest and my guess would be several pots of strong black coffee, in no particular order. He's hopefully getting both as we speak. Lord knows what's going to happen if he doesn't." He pauses for a few seconds, wondering whether to tell her the next part, not entirely sure how she would take it. It occurs to him that he'd rather be telling this sort of things to one of his friends from the Venture because at least she wasn't telepathic and as such couldn't pick up on when he was shading the truth. Briefly the thought that Fiona would have been pleased if the Captain had implied about Fiona and Nick what he had about Ethan and Nick scampers across Nick's mind. Before that becomes more of a sour thought, Nick brings himself back to the present. Nick says quietly "If you want to be told what was exactly said then fine. Else I'll keep it to the abridged version. The Captain, because of his condition, made several implications. Specifically that you and me were late to the meeting because we were in each other's company and that we were in each other's company because we're....more then friends." He pauses a second then adds "Like I said...an overreaction on my part." He watches her eyes, wondering how she'll react. Two major emotions battle with each other in Ethan's mind--worry for Nick and amusement. Finally, the amusement wins out, and she starts to laugh. "I'm sorry," she says when she gets control of herself again, "I probably shouldn't be laughing, but it's just so funny. You know..." She pauses, not entirely sure how he'll take her next words, 'In a way, we ARE more than friends. A mere friend probably wouldn't have heard your reaction several decks away. Now, obviously we aren't *that* kind of more than friends." {{yet... but interesting idea}} is a quiet thought in her mind, that she doesn't entirely try to shield from him. "I would worry that the Captain thought that, except that it isn't really any of his business, either way. What does worry me more is .... you said he needs several pots of coffee? Are you saying that he's intoxicated? THAT worries more than any implications about our "lovelife".. or lack thereof." She hesitates again, then continues, but this time mentally. {{I almost worry that you care what the Captain thinks of your or our off-duty time. But as you say, you've been under stress.... and I think I might worry more, knowing you, if you really didn't care what your Captain thought of you--on duty or off.}} He considers her words for a minute before responding mentally {{If he continues with the imbibing it'll be something that I'll have to take care of. Considering what we all just went through I think a little slack is in order for the moment. As for us, our..relationship is our business and not the business of anyone else, as you said. Like I said, I overreacted to what he said because I'm tired, worn out, on edge and my emotional shielding is thin enough to be Swiss cheese. Considering how many people here think I betrayed them and Mogg and how strong those feelings are in them, I'm a bit surprised that I have any shields left at all right now. Under a normal situation I would have just dismissed what the Captain said about us out of hand.}} He takes a sip of his tea as he mulls over a ghost of a thought he picked up from her. {{And you're right, we're more then just friends. I don't let just anyone traipse around in my mind and you're most likely the same way. The risk to our self-identity would be too great otherwise. As for where we take our relationship in the future, that's the future and it's not written yet. We're both adults here and as was said earlier..it's our business, not theirs.}} He nods to the people around them, using the gesture to indicate everyone on the station. {{To be honest I like having someone I can be open with, and not have to wear the masks and cloaks, figuratively speaking, that I normally wrap myself with. Though admittedly I haven't gotten quite used to that with you. Habits are hard to break I suppose.}} He smiles crookedly, {{Though I'm not sure why you like walking around in my mind.}} As he "says" that, his subconscious whispers to him "There are depths and darknesses to you that very few people would ever be able to understand." A thought that he isn't entirely successful at shielding from her. She smiles kindly, {{There are darknesses in many of us... myself included. And I'm not even sure we can understand them ourselves.}} Reaching over, she lightly touches his hand, attempting to lend him some assistance in reinforcing his shields. {{As for the crew, they'll get over it eventually. Mogg betrayed himself, I think. I was there. You did no more or less than your Starfleet oath required. Loyalty to individuals is fine, but not when it blinds us to their shortcomings. Our loyalty to our oath has to come first, or we risk turning against what we claim we hold most sacred.}} She sighs, thinking of all the times that she, while working undercover with SF Security, was involved in the arrest of officers that had violated their oath, and broken the law--all because they believed there was a higher ideal. {{But it is hard to feel that you betrayed their trust. That feeling I completely understand--I've felt it many times.}} Pausing, she takes a drink of her milkshake, just now noticing that it had been delivered. "This ship coming in... well, I hope it will help redirect the focus of people back to what they are supposed to be doing--give them less time to mull recent events and get themselves all worked up over something that really doesn't involve them." She smiles before continuing, "I've noticed that it seems to be a human tendency to want to be involved in whatever is going on around them. And if they can't be, they almost always choose to sit on the sidelines and criticize those that are involved--as if they could make the situation better by doing so. In their minds, things would never have gotten so out of hand, if only they had been involved in the first place." "That's one illusion that I hope I've mostly overcome. Being part Betazoid--a race that doesn't bother to hide their feelings, and can see how those involved truly feel about it.. well, it tends to make one a little less judgmental." Again, she smiles, studying his face closely, {{You know... I don't think the Captain is the only one that needs rest. Why don't you go get some yourself. I'll head up to the CT, and keep an eye on things there. I can do paperwork there as easily as anywhere. Don't worry, though, if the station explodes, I'll call you right away.}} He shakes his head "You're right, the responsibility was to my oath and I realize that. I just wish that people, Muon and Images especially, would realize that as well. It's tiring having to maintain my shields to the levels I've had to the last couple days. And the accusation in their eyes hasn't exactly been pleasant to deal with either. Granted, I can't read Muon anyways which is a small blessing in all this. Still, she needs to realize that Starfleet isn't in the revenge business." He frowns in momentary thought then adds "That I understand and am grateful for far more then most people are probably." Nick finishes his tea and settles back in his chair. He squeezes her hand gently as a show of gratitude {{As for your suggestion about my going to get some rest and letting you mind the store in the meantime, I think I'll take you up on that. Just..just make sure to get some rest yourself sometime before that ship gets here. I have a feeling we're all going to have to be back on our toes then.}} He squeezes her hand again before withdrawing the touch as he stands. He says "Thank you for..." He shakes his head and shrugs helplessly, not finding the words he was looking for. He says "Just thank you," before he turns and slips through the crowd on his way to the exit.

(Note: This story, time wise, is set before last weeks game.) After the Captain adjourns the trial, Nick packs his belongings and heads for the door. He ignores the glare that Muon shoots him as well as the dark mutterings of the crowd. A few minutes later he enters his quarters. He removes his uniform jacket and is about to throw it across the room in a fit of frustration when a small Husky bounds in from the other room. The puppy barks softly and looks expectantly up at Nick. Nick picks the dog up and pets it, getting a lick in the face for the effort. He says "I suppose you want to run around, yes?" Nick retrieves a leash and attaches it to the puppy's collar. The puppy shakes uncomfortably causing Nick to smile. "I know you don't like it, Diamant, but we don't want you getting lost. Lord knows, some of the people on this station might consider you a delicacy." A few minutes later, he enters the holodeck after calling up a programmed recreation of a grassy field near his home on earth. Nick removes the collar and then produces a tennis ball which he promptly throws. As he watches Diamant retrieve the ball, Nick's thoughts turn back to the just concluded trial. Up until now, he thought having to fill out crew reviews was the second worst part of the job. Having to play ax-man and wreck someone's career had just jumped to the number two spot on the list..even if the person in question had largely brought it on himself. Nor was it helping that most of the crew seemed to take Nick doing that part of his job as some sort of betrayal, as if Nick had wanted to do what he had done. Diamant brings the ball back and lays it at Nick's feet. Nick picks up the ball and scratches the dog behind the ears. He says "Well, at least your expectations of me are easy to figure out." He throws the ball again and the dog races after it. Nick mutters "And at least having to play Prosecutor is nowhere near as hellish as having to inform someone's next of kin about a death." As he finishes that thought, as if on cue, the door chime rings. Muon was in shock. She had lost the case and Mogg was leaving. She just couldn't believe it. She needed a distraction, somewhere to relax, so she headed to the holodeck.......only to discover that Ayers was already there. Glaring at the entrance to the holodeck, she turns away to leave, then pauses. Perhaps it was time they talked. Got everything out into the open. Maybe that's what they both needed. Muon chimed the door to the holodeck, requesting permission to enter. Nick frowns slightly and stares down at the suddenly reappeared door. Shrugging he says "Computer, unlock and open the door." As the door opens he stands and throws the ball once again. As the door to the holodeck opens and Muon enters, a ball goes whizzing by followed by a small, barking furry beast of some kind. Sensing no immediate danger from either the ball or beast, she continues into the holodeck until she sees Ayers. He looks none to happy to see her but at this point, Quark doesn't care. She's tired, angry and wanting some answers. She briefly glances at what she now knows to be a dog and then walks over to Ayers. "Forgive my intrusion Commander but we need to talk." Nick studies her for a few seconds then nods "As you wish." As Muon approaches, Nick once again throws the ball. Finally Nick says "What did you wish to talk about? Though I can take a guess. Oh..and permission is granted to speak freely." Muon nods, grateful to be able to talk about the trial. "I don't understand what happened Commander......to the trial, to the Captain, to you.... not any of it. I was so sure......" Muon shakes her head unable to find the words. Whatever Nick had expected Muon to say, it wasn't that. "I can't speak for the Captain but I'll try to speak about the rest of your question. First, know this, you did your best during the trial, Lieutenant, no one can fault you for that. You were handed a next to impossible task and you nearly pulled it off. Take some heart in the fact that Mogg is not yet out of Starfleet permanently. If he can show some remorse for his actions and assuming his..condition can be cured he should be allowed to return to active duty. However, if he does I wouldn't assume that he'd be allowed back here. I could be wrong on that and only time will tell. He was here for the wrong reasons, Lieutenant, and he knew what those reasons were before he did what he did. We are here to help the Cardassians rebuild...he was here to gloat in the name of a personal understandable revenge. The problem you faced in your case was that he acted on his desire for revenge coupled with the fact that you were trying to argue two incompatible ideas. That his mental trauma was so deep that no one, not even the best and brightest at the Academy could detect it. Plus you were also trying to argue that his mental trauma could be cured. If his mental trauma is buried so deep then the chances of it being curable are not that great. Then there was the fact that he knew about it beforehand which was the opposite of what you were arguing. Image's bringing that up did not help your case at all." Nick shakes his head and his voice takes on a dark and sad tone "There isn't an El Aurian on this plane of existence that doesn't somewhere deep down inside them harbor the wish to wipe the Borg out of existence and that includes myself. They took our home, our civilization. Since they couldn't assimilate us they slaughtered most of us leaving the rest to be little more then beggars on the Universe. They robbed us of our place in the Universe, our glory and our pride. In a way the Borg took part of our souls. Yes, the deepest darkest part of what remains of our souls screams for revenge, for the ability to do to them what they tried to do to us. Most of us recognize though that if we did so we would become the monsters that they are. That the line that we dare not cross lest we become even more lost then the Borg are is the line that separates us from the hatred deep down in our souls. "Mogg doesn't see that line, at least not yet, and if he doesn't choose to stop himself or if he isn't stopped he will become the monster that he believes the Cardassians are. For that reason he couldn't be allowed to remain. This station and the work we are doing are far too important to risk letting one act of hatred grow into something more, even if the act of hatred was petty." "As for my role during the trial, I did my job and nothing more. I took no pleasure in it and I wish to whatever gods exist that it had never come to pass. Part of me feels like I betrayed a member of the crew and I have yet to figure out how I'm going to deal with that feeling. And I know that quite a significant portion of the crew also thinks that I betrayed one of their own. I don't know how I'm going to deal with that yet either. For the immediate future the trial and it's results will be a barrier that will exist between most of the crew and myself. Doctor Images, for one, is dead sure that my cross-examination of his testimony was a personal insult and I'm pretty sure that I'm not high on your list of favorite people right now either. However, none of that changes the fact that I did not hold Mogg to a standard that was different then I would have held anyone else...including myself. He made his choice and now he has to face the consequences for it. Even I find that a damn bitter pill to swallow right now but no matter what I or anyone else thinks of it that is the truth." Muon frowns darkly and says "So what you're basically saying, Commander, is Que Sera Sera." Nick shakes his head and replies "Not all. However, at this point the trial is over, Lieutenant. I know you're hurt and angry and that Mogg is probably bloody mad. And if I had a magic wand I'd let you use it to change what happened. That is not going to happen though. You did your best, there is nothing more you could have done. I do have a suggestion for you. Contact the Judge Advocate General's office at San Francisco and try to get somewhere there to review Mogg's situation." Muon replies tiredly "Personally, I think I was 'railroaded,' as you humons say, so maybe I will." Nick sighs "Believe what you want. It will be a long time until any of us put this experience behind us. However, you need to figure out a way to deal with your personal emotions concerning this. If that means you have to set up a holodeck program where you take on a group of mad Klingons then so be it. If you don't do something to rein in your anger, Lieutenant, you're going to make the same mistake as Mogg. You will let your heart...your temper make a decision that your mind wouldn't have made. No matter what you think of what happened, Mogg brought it upon himself. If Starfleet was in the business of revenge we would not be here on this station." Muon narrows her eyes "Well that's where we disagree, Commander. And we always will. While some of it was Mogg's fault to be sure, some of it was not. He's ill Commander." With that, she turns and heads for the exit. Nick says to her retreating form "That may be. The fact remains though, that illness may be the reason for what did but it doesn't condone or excuse it. And it's all the more reason why he couldn't be allowed to stay, Lieutenant." Muon pauses at the doorway and says over her shoulder "Then we all might as well go to jail." With that angry pronouncement, she steps through the doors out of sight. Nick watches the doors close and sighs to himself, wondering how the Station was going to survive this schism.

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By: Doctor Images and myself When the Captain calls for a recess in the trial, Nick quietly packs what he brought with and heads for the doors. Without saying a word, he cuts through the crowd leaving a cool wake behind him as he steps through the doors. He's taken a few steps through the crowd gathered outside the doors when he hears the murmuring of the word "witchhunt" said by several people. Frowning, he turns and brushes past a few people until he reaches the open center of what everyone is gathered around. He reads the sign before stepping forward and unceremoniously ripping it from the wall. The shocked murmurs are cut off as Nick turns to face the assembled crowd, everyone falling silent at the expression on his face. Usually when he gave orders he tried to couch it as politely as possible. This time he makes no such attempt at social niceties as he says "You all have places where you belong right now. Be on your way." Nick slices through the crowd and disappears into a nearby turbolift. He orders the turbolift car to his office. As the car hums to life he takes a closer look at the sign. The emotional residue from it is palpable and it is obvious who it belonged to, even if Nick hadn't had to shield himself from that same emotional sense just a day earlier. He taps his commbadge and says "Dr. Images, report to my office immediately. No exceptions." He speaks calmly...unnaturally calmly. Victor gets the message in sickbay. He is hunched over a console looking for more ships that could possibly be infected by this so-called “Rust Bug”. When he hears the Commander's request coming from his badge, a surge of shock runs through him. A fear that perhaps what he has done earlier has put him in big trouble. But recovering within a moment, he presses his badge and replies in a level of calmness that even rivals Ayers' own. “Yes, sir, I'll be up immediately.” He saves his work and makes his way to the office at top speed. He presses the doorbell and waits. Nick glances up at the door and then retrieves a tricorder from a corner of the desk. He sets it down next to the sign that was put near the courtroom/holodeck door, center stage on the desk. Finally he says "The door is open." When Images enters the office, Nick neither greets him nor gestures him to a chair. He indicates the sign with a tap of the finger and calmly says "Thank you, Doctor. I wanted a witness because I'm about to run a little minor science experiment as to the identity of the person who wrote this. It hardly qualifies even as a science experiment as it only will entail using the tricorder to run a fingerprint analysis. I have my suspicions who did it of course but some proof would be nice. Because I must say, I am most curious as to what anger could drive a person to do a fool thing like this, especially when they should have known better. I'd like to know who that person is if only to, as the cliche goes, head that person off at the pass before they run head first off a very steep cliff." Without missing a beat, the doctor answers. "I don't think that will be necessary sir, since we both know perfectly well that it was me. Any beating around the bush would be completely, as the Vulcan's say, illogical. Then he snaps to attention as if giving a report. "If you want to know what particular anger sent me to do it sir. I think it is the anger I feel because I believe that Ensign Mogg's trial has been mishandled by a certain counsel for the prosecution who has continuously said that Ensign Mogg told no-one about his mental condition when the one person he did tell about them WAS the counsel for the prosecution. And how that same counsel decided to not refer him to medical for possible psychological treatment and to pretend the conversation in question never took place. To add further insults to injury, during a witness's testimony, he not only degraded a witness's competence on the stand, but also the competence of every doctor in Starfleet who has given a psychological exam. That is why I was angry enough to put a paper sign on a door." Just before Ayers has a chance to speak, Victor lets out one last summary. "However...since I was officially off my shift and am allowed a full right to protest unethical procedures if it does not disrupt the action in progress, I fail to see where and how you foresee a cliff on my horizon." Victor shuts his mouth. Nick narrows his eyes and coldly says "Let me correct some of your....misconceptions. I'll start with your belief that putting up that sign was perfectly acceptable. If you have an objection with something the Captain or I do you are free to make it known...in the proper way. You can ask for a private conversation. What you don't get to do is undermine our authority doing it. You tried undermining our authority and at the least you're in contempt of court. Normally I'd be perfectly prepared to that it slide as the foolish choice of a youth but you're old enough and have enough rank that you really should have known better. Like Mogg, you let your anger override your judgment. So yes, Doctor, you will face some punishment for your choice." "And no...you don't get to argue that I said that he told no one he had a mental condition while simultaneously trying to defend him by saying that he didn't know he had one. Either he knew he had one and therefore he is culpable for what he did through his own negligence or he didn't know he had one and he needs to be removed from duty because of it. There is no he has a mental condition and we'll let him do as he damn well pleases because of it. And at the time, Doctor, what I knew about his problem would hardly qualify it as a mental condition since the only thing he said was why he was here and why he didn't like Cardassians. And as for my impeaching your credibility, Doctor, that is part of the job of the Prosecutor. I'm sorry if you don't understand how a trial works but that's your own fault. If you took it personally don't blame me for that one. And as for my going after the fact that Starfleet didn't detect it that was also part of my job as Prosecutor. You claim he has a mental condition, you didn't pick up on it nor Starfleet didn't pick up on it so perhaps the real truth is that he doesn't have one at all or that it is buried so deep that it's near non-detectable until it rears it's head which means that it will be next to impossible to tell if it is ever cured. Lt. Quark chose to use a mental defect defense. I would have been remiss in my duty as Prosecutor if I didn't try and tear that down. If you don't like that then really that is too bad but I owe you nor anyone else an explanation much less an apology for it." "And despite your belief to the contrary, this is not a political witchhunt. Mogg made his choice, he made it knowing that what he was doing was against the regulations and disobeyed standing orders. He took an oath as a Starfleet officer and he violated it. He is not going to get a free pass on it, Doctor, no more then you, I or anyone else would get a free pass. He made his choice knowing the consequences and now he can face those consequences. His personal history no more gives him permission to do as he pleases then mine gives me permission to take the Pandora's Box and go hunt down every Borg I can find. I have fought the Borg before, I was at the Battle of Wolf and my last ship was there when Voyager returned. I fought them, Doctor, but I fought them as a Starfleet officer..not as an El-Aurian seeking revenge for his destroyed home and people. What you would have us become is nothing more then a collection of beings exercising their petty and not so petty revenges as they please. No, Doctor, our history does not control us despite your arrogant contention to the contrary. I can sympathize with Mogg far better then you or pretty much anyone else on this station but I would be remiss in my own duty if I allowed that sympathy to cloud my judgment. He can have the counseling he needs but it isn't going to happen on this Station because it is far too tempting of a target if his personal trauma once again leads him to do something foolish. The danger to this Station and to everyone on this station...including you, Doctor, is far too great to risk letting him stay." Nick leans back in his chair and glares up at Images. In a cold dead tone, Nick says "And as for your statement about the talk Mogg and I had..hind-sight is 20-20. If I would have known that he wouldn't be able to make a wise judgment after that talk I would have removed him from duty and seen that he got the help he so obviously needs. He told me why he was here, I told him that he was here for the wrong reasons and warned him that he was to obey orders and do his duty. He gave no indication at the time that he would do otherwise. If I would have known then what I know now I would have dealt with it before he got a chance to make the choice he did. So no, Doctor, don't try pinning the blame for what he did on me. The only one to blame here, Doctor, is him. And even if I was able to read Ferengi I wouldn't have read his mind during that talk because of respect for his privacy and the fact that it would have been illegal. Secondly, I told him that I would keep the conversation private unless he made it necessary for me to do otherwise. And I would have kept it private if he wouldn't have did what he did and you wouldn't have blabbered it in the court room in a fit of pique just because you've lost your objectivity." "You claim he wasn't in his right mind..fine that may be...but then that means he isn't fit for duty. And if the psych tests that Starfleet administers to all applicants and cadets couldn't detect how far his trauma went then there is no reason to assume that you will be able to tell when he is in his right mind again. Do you really want us to risk the peace treaty with the Cardassians on a very large what if, Doctor?" "And as for you not seeing a steep cliff in your future, let me paint it for you. You acted in contempt of court in an attempt to undermined the Captain's and my authority. If you have a problem with us you should have brought up in a proper way. You didn't. It doesn't matter if you were off duty or not, you're still a Starfleet officer and you're expected to act like one. I have no problem in letting the officers that I command speak their mind even if it is to criticize me but I'll be damned if I'm going to tolerate it in a way that is completely disrespectful to me, and to everyone on this station. You are hereby ordered to stay away from the Courtroom and the court proceedings unless the Captain, myself or Lt. Quark summons you." "And I will be notifying the Captain of what you did and I'm quite sure he will have additional punishment for you. You made a foolish choice, Doctor. Getting yourself thrown in the brig because you let your temper get the better of you is hardly going to help you or Mogg. And if you act petulantly again, Doctor, you will not like the results, that you most certainly will not. I have no personal problem with you, Doctor, but if you continue how you are then I will choose to correct the situation before you manage to make it personal for both of us. You are a good Starfleet Officer, Doctor, so I suggest you find your way back to that point." Nick frowns in momentary thought as he considers whether to let this...conversation progress any further. He can see the conflicting emotions running through the young officer's eyes. Calmly Nick says "You are dismissed, Doctor. Return to your duty." Victor thought long and hard before answering. "Yes sir." He then turned away from Ayers and walked to the door but before leaving said one last thing. "One more thing Comander, I wonder how someone can cause contempt in a court that was already in recess? As a "good" prosecuter, I'd assume you could answer." He then stepped out before an answer could be made. Nick frowns and thinks to himself "Doctor, just because it is in recess doesn't mean that you get to do as you please."

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