Cmdr Ridire

Aidan narrows his eyes slightly as the Ferengi asks to be taken off planet. This is why Aidan doesn't like undercover missions. It always turned out to be a question of who to trust and who not to trust. And while he trusted the people he was with, Aidan was not foolish enough to be trusting of the people he's encountered on this wayward planet. Especially when, if what the Ferengi said was true, there had been and were currently Starfleet officers being held on this planet. And yet, for all he knew the Ferengi could be lying thorugh his little pointed teeth and could be attempting to lead them into a trap. If there were Starfleet officers being held captive on this planet Aidan was quite sure they'd like a half dozen more. Especially if it kept their little operation secret. Still, if the Ferengi was on the up and up, and there were indeed Starfleet officers being held on the planet the Ferengi did deserve to be safeguarded for the risk he was taking. And if there were Starfleet officers, he was going to need the Ferengi in order to figure out a way to rescue them. From what Shamor had said, the compound he had been chased from was heavily guarded, the force field alone would make it a tough nut to crack. Unless there was a means to subvert the defenses, and the Ferengi might be able to provide that means. Aidan sighs inwardly, part of him wishing that this mission had never occurred and that he was back on the Reaent, enjoying a quiet evening with Deb. There were ideas for the future that he was starting to think of, ideas that he'd like the chance to see through. And this mission, depending on what happened, could send those ideas crashing to the ground. But how could he look to the future when there were the ghosts of the past still calling him from their graves. Fiona's killers were out there, they were near..he could feel them. And he'd never be fully Deb's if Fiona's killers were allowed to slip away. Finally he says to the Ferengi, "Very well, how long is it going to take you to get ready? And I want to know everything."

Aidan sighs as he looks into the reflection of the mirror he's holding. He isn't quite sure what annoys him most. His eyes had been changed to a hazel color and it wasn't through contacts as those could come out at inopportune times. To top it off, his dark red hair had been dyed brown or the fact that Deb had insisted that it would further the disguise if it was cut as well. As such, his hair was cut to what he'd consider military shortness. Having come up through the ranks of Starfleet as a scientist that bothered him a little. He sighs and shakes his head, considering the fact that perhaps the real reason why the hair cut and other changes bothered him was why it was necessary. He hears the door behind him open as someone enters the private room just off sickbay that Deb had set aside for the changes to his appearance to be done in. Thankfully, Deb had understood without being told that it was only going to make him cranky if he had to subject himself to such things while in sight of everyone else in Sickbay. He notices Deb standing behind him in the reflection of the mirror. He turns to face her and asks "Well? What do you think?" Debbie kept her expression as neutral as possible. She already felt terrible about insisting Aidan dye his hair. She suggested he cut it as well but, had he refused, she was willing to let that slide. However, that dark red color had to go. If nothing else, it would attract a lot of attention and that was the last thing the away team needed. Now, with his short, brown hair, Aidan Ridire would blend right in. "It will do," she finally answered, smiling gamely. She stepped up beside him. "You'll still turn heads....just not as many.....I hope. She grinned. "Can you imagine me taking on your female admirers. Talk about breaking cover!" He chuckles before murmuring "You make it sound like I've left a trail of women wanting my attention behind me. As far as I know, I know of only one such case." He smirks before adding "Though perhaps, if what you imply is true, I should see to those others as well. Especially since I'd trust to your professionalism so as not to break cover." Debbie's smile disappeared. It wasn't Aidan's fault. She'd been in a somber mood all day. One reason was her concern about "breaking cover." She'd tried to make light of it but it was a serious matter. There was too much at stake to allow for such a mistake....for such an unprofessional act. So, for most of the day, Debbie had been preparing, psychologically and emotionally, to put some distance between herself and Aidan. This would be the last time they were alone together before the start of their mission. This was where she would have to flip the switch, so to speak. It was now obvious it would be a lot easier said than done. Debbie continued looking at Aidan's reflection in the mirror. "You know I love you, don't you?" she asked softly. It was a rhetorical question but it got his attention. "No matter what happens from now on, remember that I love you." She stepped in front of him and gently cupped his face with both hands. Smiling sadly, she pulled him toward her and kissed him warmly. "And with that," she said quietly, moving away slightly. "My prince charming fades into the shadows. Hopefully, he will reappear at the conclusion of this mission. But until then, you are my commanding officer and I am sworn to obey your orders." His smile disappears as she says that. He knows why..what was making her say that and he knows she's right. Still... He reaches for her as he shakes his head, murmuring "That can wait a few more minutes." He steps into her and kisses her deeply, putting all his emotions into the kiss as if it may be their last. When he breaks off the kiss he murmurs "My princess should know she has me heart and soul. And that will always be so until I die or she sends me away." He pauses and adds with a faint smile "And that I really think after we get back from this we need to see about a vacation, that we really deserve one...and that I would very much like the time to simply be hers without all the masks I have to wear." The intensity of Adian's emotions very nearly overwhelmed Debbie. She'd been carefully constructing a barrier between them but his kiss came close to demolishing it. She could barely look at him for fear of crying. And that was the last thing she wanted to do...not now....not when they were about to embark on what could be the most dangerous mission they'd ever undertaken. No, this wasn't the time for tears. Now was the time for self control and hardened resolve. The mission was their priority. Everything else was secondary. Again, it was much easier said than done. It took a moment, but Debbie finally harnessed her runaway emotions. She dared to look at Aidan and was pleasantly surprised at how calm she felt. "I like the idea of a vacation," she replied with a grin. "But I don't dare think that far ahead...not just now anyway." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled brightly. "I also like the part about 'being hers without all the masks'...." Debbie stopped short and turned away as she felt her self control slipping. "Right now," she continued softly. "All I want to do is get this over with so we can go on with our lives." She again turned to face him. "I hope you understand. I have to focus on this mission. I can't allow anything to distract me. And believe me, it wouldn't take much to throw me off track." Debbie smiled sadly. "So let's agree to discuss the future once we've returned from this mission. And maybe not just discuss it.....maybe we could actually make a few plans." Sighing inwardly he nods. This was one of those times he finds himself seriously hating the job. He murmurs "Yes, we should see to that..to plans and a vacation when we return." He frowns for a moment before stepping past her. Stopping he turns to face her, his expression one of calm poise. He gestures to the door "Perhaps we should go, Doctor?" Debbie nodded slowly. "Yes, Commander" she answered calmly, walking past him and then out the door. "I think we should. The rest of the away team will be here any moment. I have to see to their disguises....as well as my own." He frowns darkly when she steps past him, idly wishing that he could just snap his fingers and whisk the both of them away from this situation. Sighing again, he hopes that things turn out well and resolve themselves quickly.

(Just to clear up any confusion, this would take place during the stay at Copernicus station) By: Dr Matthews & Cmdr Ridire Once again, Gracie had come to the rescue. She helped Debbie pick out a pretty, little sundress and a cute pair of Espadrilles to wear with it....the perfect outfit for a late afternoon/early evening dinner on the beach. The dress was a beautiful shade of yellow with small white flowers ....very summery looking. Debbie had balked at trying it on but again, Gracie insisted. And again, Gracie was right. It was....well....perfect. So was the venue for Aidan's birthday dinner. Debbie spent days working on this program. It was based on her ideal vacation spot....the Caribbean. The temperature would be a balmy 75 degrees. She cheated a bit on the humidity. In reality, it would be around 85%. But not tonight. Tonight, the humidity wouldn't go over 60% and there would be an easy breeze from the southeast....just enough to ruffle the curtains. They would dine in a private gazebo just a few meters from the waterline where gentle waves softly caressed the golden sand. White, muslin curtains were pulled back from the windows to allow for a clear view of the moonlit ocean. The light from two dozen candles strategically placed throughout highlighted the exquisite orchids gracefully draped from the ceiling. Beautifully arranged antherium and lilies were placed about along with a variety of tropical foliage. Inside the gazebo, a table for two was elegantly set with crisp, white linen, Wedgwood China and Chambly French Silverware. They would drink from crystal glassware from Tyrone in Ireland. A simple orchid centerpiece with two candles completed the table decorations. They would dine on grouper in a Picatta sauce with a choice of vegetables. There would be salad and freshly baked bread and, of course, a birthday cake. But not just any cake. This one was positively decadent. Debbie only hoped Aidan liked chocolate as much as she did. Debbie had given Aidan the access code earlier in the day and asked him to meet her at the holodeck. She stood just inside waiting for him to arrive. When he stepped in, he would be standing on the crest of sand dune, the sea grass waving in the gentle breeze. She turned as the holodeck doors swished open and crossed her fingers. "What if he doesn't like grouper," she wondered silently. As Aidan entered the beachside setting, Debbie stepped up to him and smiled. "Happy Birthday, Aidan," she said brightly. He stops dead in his tracks after taking a few steps inside the holodeck as he looks around. He didn't know what he had been expecting with regards to what she had planned for his birthday but whatever it was, it paled to this. He spends a few moments drinking it in, the sight and smell of the flowers and the ocean, the feel of the breeze...all of it. He closes his eyes briefly as he sighs contentedly, thinking that he needs to find out if this place was real or just a holodeck recreation because if it was real it would definitely be worth visiting and spending considerable time there. He hugs her tightly and murmurs "This is perfect....thank you." He draws back a little and looks down into her eyes as he adds "I'm not even sure I know how to thank you properly." He looks her over and his smile broadens "And you look stunning...." Debbie breathed a quiet sigh of relief. At least he liked the venue. Now, came the hard part. Would he enjoy the dinner? "Your smile is thanks enough," she said softly. Taking his hand, she pulled him toward the gazebo. "Come on," she urged. "Dinner awaits. And after that, there's a beautiful, moonlit beach to relax on." She hesitated at the steps leading into the gazebo. Then turning toward him, she wrinkled her nose and asked, "Do you like fish? Because if you don't, I need to make a quick change to the menu?" It takes his mind a second to register the question about fish that she asked, her comment about the beach had him thinking things along those lines. He smiles and steps past her as he says "You are worrying far too much. This is supposed to be a nice relaxing romantic evening yes? Then lets just enjoy it. Whatever you came up with dinner will be fine, I'm sure. Besides, you forget where I'm from...you know...island nation and all that." He stops at the top of the steps and turns towards her as he reaches a hand out to her. His smile broadens as he says softly "Let's just enjoy ourselves here and not worry about such trivialities, moncher." Debbie smiled brightly. "That's a wonderful idea," she said as she took his hand and joined him in the gazebo. She led him to the dining table where a waiter had just filled their water glasses. Aidan pulled out her chair and she sat down as another waited approached the table with two shrimp cocktails. Aidan had barely taken his seat when the basket of freshly baked bread arrived along with genuine, whipped butter. "Prepare to gain a few pounds tonight," warned Debbie. "Even if we walk ten miles." She grinned impishly. "But, your birthday only comes around once a year. I vote that we celebrate it properly." She picked up her fork and pulled the shrimp cocktail a bit closer. "Besides, I'm looking forward to that walk on the beach." He chuckles and smirks, teasingly saying "And I'm sure my doctor will chide me and say I need to go on a diet knowing her." He glances out along the beach for a few moments before turning his attention back to her. He watches her start eating with a curious smile on his expression. Turning his attention to his own food he says "Suppose I should see to eating. Wouldn't want to delay the walk further...." Debbie dipped one of the shrimp into the cocktail sauce. Taking a small bite, she nodded approvingly. "If you would rather go swimming," she said casually, "there is a cabana near the water's edge. It's stocked with bathing suits, towels, sandals, little buckets with shovels for playing in the sand and anything else you might need." She smiled brightly. "And I assure you, there are not sharks, jelly fish or crabs to attack you in the dark." He takes a bite from his salad and lets himself savor the food for a few seconds. Smiling he says "I think a walk will do for tonight. Though perhaps we'll go swimming, we'll see. I kind of want to play tonight by ear, so to speak if that's all right with you?" His smile turns mischievous "Though perhaps would be nice to see you in a bathing suit....." "Mind your manners, Mr. Ridire," quipped Debbie, grinning from ear to ear. "I control this program. I could always turn off the moon and you wouldn't be able to see anything." He smirks "I mind my manners...most of the time. And you don't need to take all the fun out of things like that. But if you want I can decline to be interested in such things....if you want." Debbie shook her head between bites. "Don't bother stressing yourself out," she said in mock sincerity. "You're a man. It's impossible for men to be disinterested in such things. Besides, I like you just the way you are." They continued to eat and talk and laugh through the appetizers, the salad and the main course. Debbie only got half way through the Grouper Piccata when she pushed the plate away. "I'm stuffed, she groaned. "I didn't leave enough room for the decadent dessert waiting for us." She looked across the table at Aidan. "Perhaps we should take that walk before they bring out the double chocolate brownie cake." He arches an eyebrow "Double chocolate brownie cake? Sounds rather like you're trying to clog my arteries and kill me." He softens that with a teasing smile. "Not kill you," she admonished. "Just make you a little sick." She returned his teasing smile. "So now you know what lengths I'll go to in order to spend time with you." Chuckling he says "I don't think you want to do that, you know I'm not the best of patients. And you should know there are better ways to spend time with me." Debbie neatly folded her napkin and laid it on the table. "I know there are better ways," she began thoughtfully. "But we seem to have so little time alone." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled slightly. "Desperate times call for desperate measures." He finishes the last of his food and wine before settling back in his chair to savor it for a few moments. Finally he stands and reaches a hand towards her, saying "The walk then?" Debbie took his hand and allowed him to lead her down the steps of the gazebo and toward the beach. The view was truly magnificent. The seas were calm and the moonlight danced across the water like a thousand tiny lights. They approached a two person chaise lounge just a few feet from the water's edge. Debbie stopped, sat down and started taking off her shoes. "I do better in the sand when I'm barefoot," she quipped, tossing her new Espadrilles onto the lounge. "And this way, I don't have to worry about getting my shoes wet." A moment later she was standing at the edge of the water, the gentle waves slowly washing over her feet. She looked around her as she breathed in the fresh, sea air and smiled. So far, this had been one of the best evenings of her life. He smiles to himself as he watches her. He sits down on the edge of the lounge and stretches out on it after moving her shoes out of the way. After a few moments of looking up at the stars he turns his attention back to her and the ocean beyond. He says in a content drawl "So far this has been probably the best birthday I've had. Though I fear you're going to have to outdo yourself next year, mon cher." Idly he wonders if she has anything else in store for this evening. Debbie turned to find Aidan relaxing on the lounge. She walked over and sat down beside him. "I'm glad you're having a pleasant evening," she said while reaching under the lounge. "As far as next year is concerned, you never know. Maybe we'll come back here." She finally wrapped her fingers around the small bag she had carefully tucked under the lounge earlier in the evening. Setting it on her lap, she swung her legs onto the chaise and stretched out beside Aidan. Then she opened the bag and retrieved a small box wrapped in Kelly green foil paper with a miniature gold bow placed on top. Debbie smiled warmly at Aidan and handed him the box. "In the meantime, I think we should concentrate on this birthday. And what's a birthday without a present." He smiles as he gently unwraps the present and opens it to find an exquisitely designed signet ring resting there. He starts to say something but that's when he notices the crest that's engraved on the ring. He blinks and glances up at her "Where did you find this?" Debbie turned on her side facing Aidan and propped her head up on her hand. She had hoped he would be surprised. From the expression on his face, her wish had come true. "I got it from your mother," she said quietly. "She's a lovely lady. I hope I get to meet her in person some day. And Ciara too! They were both so helpful....and informative." He smirks "I bet they were, knowing them they wanted to find out more about the woman who's been playing with my heart then what I've told them so far and give you enough info in order to embarrass me." His smirk softens into a smile as he slips the ring onto his ring finger of his right hand. Quietly he murmurs "Thank you for a perfect evening." He brings his left hand up to frame her face as he kisses her warmly. Debbie returned Aidan's kiss then rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. They silently enjoyed the moment as he held her close, both gazing out at the calm waters of the Caribbean Sea. "There's something you need to know," whispered Debbie, her tone sincere. "I'm not playing with your heart," she continued quickly. "I fully intend to treasure it forever." He smiles and purrs "I know...you're not the type to go into something half-hearted." He closes his eyes before adding "It's one of the reasons that I'm sure enough in this relationship to let myself fall. Probably your greatest gift to me." Debbie smiled. She couldn't remember when she'd ever felt so content. At the same time, she was awash in emotions she'd never experienced before. They were both pleasing and a little disconcerting. She sat up, leaned over a bit and gently kissed the man she'd fallen in love with. Then taking his hand, she started to pull him to a sitting position. "I think we should take that walk now," she said with a playful grin. "There are a couple of things I'd like to talk to you about.....including some of the stories your Mom told me." He resists at first, content to have remained where he was in the circumstances he was in. Briefly he considers pulling her back down into another kiss and letting what may happen happen. Finally he lets her pull him up into a sitting position and from there he gets to his feet. He lets her guide him as they resume their walk. "So...what did you want to talk about?" She looked at him as if he was joking. "You, of course," she answered smartly. Perhaps a little too smartly. She was still trying to figure out why she suddenly felt uneasy. She continued quickly, hoping Aidan hadn't noticed. "I understand you have a way of losing people in the family ruins?" It takes him a few seconds to realize what she's referring to exactly and when he does he rolls his eyes and mutters something about chatterbox mothers. He slips his arm around her waist as he says "You know, I didn't know that part of a relationship was one of the couple trying to embarrass the other with stories from said person's childhood. But if you must know, Ciara got herself lost, I had nothing to do with it. I didn't even know she was following me. So really it was her own fault even if she was all of eight at the time." He leaks a trace of bemusement into his voice as he says that, indicating that he's not actually upset at the topic. Still...he's starting to think that he really should have insisted they remain on the chaise lounge. "Ciara said you would blame her," laughed Debbie. "And I won't bother telling you what else she said." She grinned at Aidan as they walked along the beach. "But in spite of what you might think of your mom and sister, one thing came across loud and clear." She stopped and turned toward him, his face highlighted by the brightly shining moon. "Your family absolutely adores you." She glanced out across the water. "And I'm beginning to figure out why." He sniffs sadly "Sure, you would believe her over me." He chuckles and asks "What makes you think they adore me? They both have spent the last few years telling me that I was being too sullen, too closed off and morose. Not sure there was much to adore." Debbie shook her head. "Trust me, you have it all wrong," she said softly. "They think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. Your sister told me a lot more than your mother did," She giggled as they continued their stroll down the beach, hand in hand. "She said you were a terrible tease and she determined early in life to follow in your footsteps. That's why she tortured you so as a teenager. But she also said you were the one person in the universe she knew she could always count on. Even now, with you so far away, she knows you would be there in a heartbeat if she needed you." He feels a blush crawling up the back of his neck as she says those things and he's grateful that it's night out so she can't see him embarrassed. "She did her own share of teasing, I assure you. Sometime ask her about some of the things she did when I had my first girlfriend. As for following my footsteps, I'm quite sure my parents are glad that she didn't follow me into Starfleet." She paused and looked up at Aidan. "And your mother is so proud of you. You can see it in her eyes. She's also worried about you and rightfully so. You have a high risk occupation." Debbie smiled as they turned to make their way back to the gazebo. "She'll always be your mother which means she's been given a life sentence. She'll worry about you until the day she dies. That's what mom's do." They walked on for a several seconds in silence before Debbie spoke again. "They both would like to see you smile and laugh a little more," she said lightly. "I happen to agree. As a matter of fact, I told them I'd work with you on that." He smiles teasingly "My, didn't know that you considered keeping me happy work. I'm not entirely sure I like the sound of that. "Don't worry, my love," quipped Debbie. I'll make it as painless as possible. I think I'm a little jealous of you and Ciara," she continued as they approached the gazebo. "I never had any siblings to torture." She looked up at him and grinned. "I think I would have been pretty good at it too." He smiles "Well if you want you can tease Ciara though knowing you I'm quite sure I'll get some from you too. And I suspect that Ciara will give you a little grief for being involved with me. Something about you being at least a little insane." He grins as he says the last. "Oh no," replied Debbie as they stopped at the chaise lounge. "I don't want to annoy your family." She grinned mischievously. "You're my project, not Ciara." "I am not sure being called a "project" is any better then being a work in progress, love." "Okay," laughed Debbie. "I'll try to think of another word besides project." She sat down on the chaise and looked out over the ocean. "Are you ready for cake?" she asked nonchalantly. "Or would you rather sit here for a while. You're the birthday boy so it's your call." He reaches down and pulls her up gently as he murmurs "I think we should see to the cake. If we sit there again we may see about repeating earlier and forgetting about the cake all together." He smirks "Though I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to the idea...." Debbie was both relieved and disappointed and a little confused as to why. He was right. If they sat down on the chaise lounge again, it was unlikely they would ever get around to eating that cake. Like Aidan, she wasn't necessarily opposed to the idea either. At the same time, she really wasn't ready for what would probably happen if they remained on the beach. And somehow....some way.....Aidan was aware of that as well. Maybe one day, she would get up the nerve to ask him how he knew. She smiled at him, picked up her shoes and allowed him to lead her up the path to the gazebo, wishing all the while this night would go on forever. He guides her to her chair and again pulls it out for her. As he moves to his chair he glances towards the chaise lounge. He hesitates before shaking his head slightly. As much as he enjoyed laying there with her..as much as it pleased him and as much as part of him would like to continue it and see where it led he knows that the time wasn't right for such a step. He doesn't want to mess this relationship up by rushing things and so such a step would wait, until they were both ready. "If it's cake you want, it's cake you shall have," said Debbie, looking up from the table just in time to catch Aidan shaking his head. She sat back slightly and looked at him curiously. "Is anything wrong?" He smiles and shakes his head again "Nothing is wrong. Was just in my mind for a second I guess." He sits down in his chair and says teasingly "Sure you're not just using my birthday as a reason to gorge on chocolate?" "What was in his mind for a second?" Debbie wondered silently and then immediately answered her own question. Still, she couldn't know for sure unless she flat out asked him. She watched him closely as he sat down debating her next move. Within a nanosecond she decided not to pursue it. This wasn't the place or the time. And, she was forced to admit, there was a part of her that didn't want to discuss that aspect of their relationship....at least not yet. "I don't need an excuse to gorge on chocolate," she answered trying to let go of her prior concern. "However, I will admit that I may have outdone myself this time." Before she could say another word, the two waiters appeared carrying the magnificent dessert. Each plate held a small, double chocolate brownie cake with French vanilla ice cream on the side. Aidan's cake was topped by one, silver candle. Debbie smiled brightly as the plates were placed in front of them. She was a bona fide, card carrying chocacholoic. There was nothing like it to top off a perfect evening....or help you forget certain things.

Aidan steps into his quarters and moves to the window to look out at the stars..or rather the streaks of the stars as the Reaent is pressing towards it's destination. One that may be the location of a camp where some answers to the Cairo's destruction possibly may be found. And one that may have some of the Cairo's crew if the intelligence on that more then one Cairo crew member had been replaced holds true. One of whom might be Fiona.... He sighs and shakes his head, inwardly chiding himself that the Captain was right. There was no point in getting his hopes up, it was a slim chance at best that the intelligence was correct..and an even slimmer chance that Fiona had somehow survived. Still.... He frowns as his thoughts stray along that line. It occurs to him that if that was the case it was going to complicate more than a few things. Starting with his relationship with Deb. He knows he's going to have to have a talk with Deb about this, knowing that she's going to need to know that no matter what, it wasn't going to change their relationship. That he had long ago came to several realizations, as much as he didn't like them at the time. Sighing quietly to himself he says "Computer, send a request to the computer terminal in Dr. Matthews' quarters that I'd like to have a talk with her at her convenience. Mark it personal." The computer beeps, acknowledging the command. Aidan turns and steps towards his bedroom, intending to get some sleep, while he can.

Gracie Allen strolled into Debbie's office and dropped a small stack of Padds on the desk. "Here ya go," she quipped. Debbie never looked up from her console. "Thanks," she replied, obviously distracted. As Gracie turned to leave, she caught sight of the console and stopped dead in her tracks. "Are you shopping?" she asked incredulously. The CMO finally looked up, her expression grim. "Yes," she replied, nodding. "Aidan's birthday is coming up soon. I'm looking for the perfect gift." Gracie stepped a bit closer and looked over Debbie's shoulder. "It seems to me you have a problem," she stated matter of factly. "He already has everything he wants." "Almost everything he wants," answered Debbie, returning her attention to the small screen in front of her. Gracie shook her head and grinned. "Nope, I think he has everything he wants." Debbie leaned back in her chair and looked her chief nurse in the eye. "Not quite everything," she said with a sly smile. "Not yet, anyway." A moment later, a figure appeared in the office doorway. It was the Reaent's XO, Aidan Ridire stopping by for a totally unexpected visit. Both women remained cool and calm, showing no indication they had been discussing the Commander. They had both been speaking softly, a fact they were now very grateful for. Debbie was confident Aidan could not have heard her last remark. If he did, well, she had no idea how she would explain it to him. Gracie nodded to the Commander and politely excused herself. Debbie waited until she was gone and Aidan had stepped inside before ordering the door closed. Then she tapped a button on her console to darken the screen, stood and walked toward him. "To what do I owe the honor?" she asked quietly. He smiles faintly and says "I thought perhaps I could interest you in some lunch and perhaps the company of a certain young man I happen to know of." "Lunch sounds interesting," she replied, smiling warmly. "Especially if the man in question happens to be who I think he is. By the way," she continued nonchalantly, slipping an arm around his waist. "How do you want to celebrate your birthday?" His smile broadens and he chuckles "To be honest, I'm not really one for parties." He slips his arms around her and kisses her warmly. Breaking off the kiss after a few moments he murmurs "I think I would like it to be a quiet night with you if that's all right. Or at least to spend it with you if you had something in mind to celebrate." He shrugs slightly and adds "I'll leave it to your capable judgement." "I'm not much on parties either," replied Debbie. "You, on the other hand, have proven you know how to celebrate in a major way. I'll never forget the Christmas ball." She shook her head slightly, still smiling, as she recalled the most wonderful Christmas she'd ever had. Dinner and dancing at Aidan's ancestral castle seemed like a dream. She still had to remind herself it really happened. "But I think a quiet evening would be appropriate for a birthday," continued Debbie. "I have something in mind but I must warn you, it doesn't include a castle." He smiles "My family knows how to celebrate, tis the Irish in us. Whereas I've gotten used to being alone on my birthdays and for Christmas and such." He presses a finger to her lips before she can respond to that. "Yes, that is no longer the case. But between a night with you alone or with you and others I do have my preferences. And don't worry, I won't be disappointed if the celebration, whatever it is, doesn't include a castle. It's not what I want from it." "Well," continued Debbie coyly, "I hope you get what you want from your birthday. And I'm flattered you're willing to trust me with planning the celebration for such and auspicious occasion." She took his hand and led him toward the door. "But right now, I'm famished. Let's have lunch." He smirks faintly "Shouldn't I trust the woman I happen to be involved with? As for what I want, I have it already. Though I am curious as to this "I have something in mind" is referring to. But I guess that will have to wait so yes, lets go tend to lunch." He slips his arm through hers and turns to the door.

Aidan enters Sickbay and glances around for Deb. She had mentioned something about him needing to stop by in Sickbay for a physical earlier and having just come off duty he decided now was probably the best time to get it over with. Especially since the ship was still at a Code Factor 2 alert status. Precious little information about what is going on with the Romulans had come in yet though thankfully a Code Factor 1 alert hadn't been received as of yet. Hopefully things with the Romulans would work themselves out before it sunk into all out war. In the near twenty years he has been in Starfleet he'd seen enough wars to last him five lifetimes. All he wants to do with the rest of his life was to serve out the remainder of his career, at least for the next few years, then retire and move back home and see about starting a new life. Hopefully with someone though that's a quite recent addition to his plans for the rest of his life. He steps over to Deb's office and pokes his head through the open door. Finding Deb sitting behind her desk he smiles and says "Reporting as commanded for a physical, Doctor. Though I think it would be a good idea for you to also agree to dinner since I'm acquiescing to being poked and prodded like a common lab rat." "Lab rat?" queried Debbie in mock surprise. "My dear Commander," she continued quickly. "If you want to be poked and prodded like a common lab rat, I certainly wouldn't want to disappoint you." She stood and walked toward him, grinning mischievously. "But I must advise you, the first step in our poking and prodding process is to hand the selected lab rat one of those notoriously flimsy gowns and order him to remove all of his clothing....and I do mean all of it." She waited for a half of a second before continuing. "And I doubt you would be in the mood for dinner after a thorough poke and prod session, at least not tonight." Debbie shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe in two or three days, but definitely not tonight." Aidan opened his mouth to say something but Debbie cut him off. "Now, I strongly urge you to settle for one of our more routine physical exams," she continued, smiling innocently. "Because I would dearly love to have dinner with you this evening." "So, Commander, what's it going to be?" Nick smirks and says in dry bemusement "You couldn't get me to wear one of those medical robes if you tried, Doctor. Sorry, I'm not about to let you and your fellow Doctors pierce my modesty just so you all can treat me as a lab rat just to satisfy some medical curiosity." She starts to say something in reply to that but he presses a finger to her lips and adds with a trace of mischief "Some things are simply beyond your ken. Especially if you want to have dinner together any time soon." He shrugs slightly "So you will just have to settle for subjecting me to a routine physical exam and then we'll see about dinner. I do have a question you can answer though. When you were talking about being afraid earlier...what was..or is it a fear of?" Debbie felt the humor drain from her as though someone pulled a plug. Then again, she wasn't all that surprised by Aidan's question. She'd been beating around this bush for quite a while. Even though she wasn't overly eager to delve into it, she knew it was time to give him an honest answer. She shrugged her shoulders slightly and turned away, trying to give herself a moment to gather her thoughts. "There are times when I'm not sure what I'm afraid of," she began as she leaned against the end of her desk. She was now facing him and she studied his expression carefully before continuing. She wasn't quite sure what to make of the look in his eyes. "I guess....the bottom line is....I'm afraid of getting hurt," continued Debbie, forcing herself to look Aidan in the eye. "One minute, I want to be close....I want to move forward with a relationship with you or at least, explore the possibility. But something always seems to happen to make me question the wisdom of doing such a thing." She threw her hands up in frustration. "Look at us! We live and work on a starship. We move from one crisis to another. We have very little time for what most people consider a normal life. And if we try to ignore that.....if we commit to a relationship, we could easily lose everything in the blink of an eye." Debbie shifted her weight uncomfortably. She really hated the way she sounded but it was the truth and Aidan needed to know the truth. "There is an old expression that says it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all," she continued, smiling sadly. "But I'm not sure I believe that, especially where someone like you is concerned." He arches an eyebrow "Someone like me is concerned? How someone like me? Starfleet Officer? Command Officer? Person who until not so long ago was intending to spend the rest of my life holding everyone at arm's length, merely surviving life instead of actually living it?" As if to illustrate the point, he takes a step back from her and rests his hands on her shoulders. "All of the above," Debbie replied weakly. "And more. I remember those sermons I gave you about keeping people at arms length....how the only person you were hurting was yourself. Turns out I was more like you than I realized....until just recently." He slips his hands to rest just above her waist as he steps into her. He tips his head forward so his forehead is resting against hers. He says quietly "I can understand that fear, Deb, lord knows I'd be lying if part of me didn't share in that fear. This is a potentially dangerous job we both chose. And one or both of us could be taken tomorrow, next week or next year. If we became more than friends and you were taken away from me I know I'd be hurt terribly..but truth to tell..even if we remain just friends and you were taken from me I'd be hurt terribly too. Just like I'll be hurt terribly if you leave the ship because of that fear. Becoming more than friends, Deb, isn't going to increase that risk." "There's nothing potential about it, Aidan," said Debbie, fighting back the tears. "This IS a dangerous job. A lot more dangerous than most. I'm painfully aware that either one of us, or both of us, could die tomorrow. And you're right, becoming more than friends won't increase the odds of that happening. What it will increase, is the odds of one of us having to go through the same hell we've seen so many others endure." He sighs quietly and shakes his head "However, it is just as likely that we'll both survive. We've survived this far and if I'm going to be afraid that I might die tomorrow then I might as well just resign my commission now and head home. And if I'm going to give into the fear that you might die then that means I can never let myself care about anyone ever again, not as friend, family or lover. And you're right..if it happens to one of us it would be hell for the survivor. But the fact remains that even if we don't act on our feelings and if you die it will still be hell for me. My feelings are already what they are and whether we act or not on my feelings and yours that really isn't going to change what I'd feel if I lost you. I assume the same is true for you." He shrugs "And as for a normal life, Deb, for us serving on this starship is what our normal life is. There are couples on this ship, people who were couples before either one of us came here..and people who became couples after we arrived. They manage to meld together the requirements of duty with their personal lives." Debbie took a deep breath and looked into Aidan's warm eyes. "You're right again," she whispered. "There are couples on this ship. But none of them involve the first officer. You know....the one who leads all the away teams. If you're on a mission and you've made a commitment to me, aren't you concerned that might cloud your judgment? Might you become a little too cautious? And couldn't that extra caution backfire and cost lives? Is it fair to put yourself in that position?" He shrugs slightly "It might make me a little more cautious, yes. But I still intend to do my job, Deb. Yeah I know, that's easy to say right now and we'll just have to see how things work out. I'm not entirely sure how having, to borrow the phrase, 'someone to come home too' is a bad thing. I think, however, that it would be unfair to me to think that just because I have these three gold pips that means I should somehow be untouchable. That's a rather lonely thought and I think over the last few years I've had enough of that particular emotion. Unless I prove otherwise I'm going to have to trust that I can still do my job while being involved with you. And if I find out I can't then I'll have to make the requisite choice." He closes his eyes "I don't know what will happen in the future and I don't know for sure that it will work out if we become more than friends, I can't see the future. I do know, however, that I want to try. But it's up to you. If you choose not then just tell me and I'll walk out that door and never bring this topic up again." And there it was. The proverbial ball was now squarely in Debbie's court. What should she do now? She was absolutely certain Aidan was telling her the truth. He wanted to try but if she didn't, he really would walk out that door and never bring it up again. And how would she feel if that happened? Relieved? Disappointed? The answer came to her almost immediately. She knew that whatever relief she felt would be short lived. In the long run, she would be more than disappointed. In spite of her reservations, the relationship she currently had with Aidan needed to evolve. If she refused to allow that to happen, she was sure she would regret it for the rest of her life. There were no guarantees. Hopefully, she and Aidan would always be friends. But there was definitely an attraction between them that needed to be explored. They'd known each other for years. They'd been through the best of times and the worst of times together. Maybe, there were even better times ahead. She wouldn't know unless she took the plunge. Gathering up her nerve, Debbie smiled cautiously. "Okay," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I promise you one thing. If you get yourself killed, I will be so angry at you....well.....it will be a good thing you're dead because you sure wouldn't want to deal with me." He chuckles softly before murmuring "Deb, I promise you I don't intend to die...not until I'm an old man and that's a long time away from here. I have things I want to accomplish..people I want to have the chance to grow old with." He hesitates and then adds in a soft whisper "Forgive me for this.." before kissing her gently. He breaks off the kiss after a few moments. He murmurs "Perhaps we should see about that physical and then dinner?" Debbie nodded and, taking his hand, led him toward the office door. Her emotions ran the gamut from terrified to ecstatic. She stopped just far enough away to keep the door from opening automatically. She looked at him with a mischievous smile. "Are you sure you just want the physical? All of sudden, the poking and prodding like a lab rat sounds mighty interesting to me." He blinks and chuckles softly, deciding that this was going to be an interesting side of Deb to see. He shakes his head and says "No, afraid not. I'd just as soon get the physical over with and then tend to dinner." His tone turns mischievous as he adds "Like I said, I'm not about to let a Doctor tell me to dress in one of those what they call robes. So my apologies, you'll just have to deal with only giving me a normal physical exam. Besides, you'd rather spend more time in Sickbay than necessary?" As he says the last his smile turns into a mischievous smirk. The door slid open as Debbie stepped toward it. She dropped Aidan's hand and proceeded to lead him out of the office. "Who else but a doctor would tell you to put on one of those gowns?" she quipped, still grinning mischievously. "And just so we understand each other, the amount of time I spend in Sickbay depends entirely on the patient in question." Then glancing back at him for a moment, Debbie quickly added, "Too bad you don't want the lab rat treatment." He shrugs and says simply "It's too one sided. Besides..those gowns are drafty." He steps past her and sits down on the nearest open biobed. He smirks again as he says "Now, lets get this over with. I would like to see about dinner." He shrugs and adds "Besides, I would like to actually go off duty."

Aidan sighs quietly and stares up at the ceiling of his bedroom as he lays in bed. He has been laying there awake for at least the last hour with sleep as elusive as the morning mist back home. In his minds eye he replays the conversation with Deb at the end of dinner a few hours earlier. He frowns slightly as he recalls the tone of her voice and body language when she said "You're a patient man, Aidan Ridire, I hope you're not disappointed with how things work out." She had been acting strangely the last few weeks. That something with her had changed. Then there were the comments she had been making..that there was some thing she wanted to talk to him about, the question about whether he'd ever look past Fiona, the conversation regarding what he wanted his future to be. Aidan can't shake the sense that there was something going that was just beyond his sight. Not for the first time he wishes she would just come out and say whatever was on her mind, if only to dispel his confusion if nothing else. He sighs again and moves to the edge of the bed. He stands and steps over to the windows that show the stars beyond. He stares at his reflection in the window as his thoughts drift to the other thing that was confusing him..his own actions. It has been just over three years since he had joined this ship and it hadn't taken all that long for a friendship between Deb and him to develop. By the time of the Cairo incident she was his closest friend on the ship, the only one he felt at all comfortable being open with. And yet in those three years he had never acted with affection towards her....not physical affection that is. And yet that had changed just a few hours ago. Granted it was nothing beyond what would generally be considered normal for two friends and yet...it wasn't exactly normal for him. Well not normal given the last few years. He turns and leans back against the window, the glass cool against the skin of his back. It had caused him to start wondering where exactly his feelings for her rested. Was she just a friend still..or had he, without even realizing it, started seeing her as more than that. And if so..what if anything to do about it? His own scarred past plus his concern regarding the blurring of the line between professional and personal was enough to make him wary. Though Nick and Ethan seem to have figured out a way to handle that particular issue. Though knowing Nick, Aidan isn't quite so sure if his friend's confidence of being able to maintain such a balancing act which raised the question of whether he could given a similar situation. Still...Aidan can't exactly deny the simple fact Deb really was the only person he'd consider.

It has been several days since the culmination of events regarding the I.S.S. Odyssey and the crew of the Reaent were currently enjoying some shore leave. The Odyssey and its hapless crew were just about all Debbie had been able to think about. Needless to say, her mood left much to be desired. A good night's rest would help immensely but sleep was elusive. When it did come, it was punctuated by vivid dreams of the carnage they found on the Odyssey. If it wasn't the skeletons strew everywhere on the ship, it was visions of future devastation resulting from the secret weapon tucked away on one of Odyssey's lower decks. Debbie hadn't yet resorted to sleeping aides, but she'd already made up her mind that was what she would do tonight if she had even one nightmare. But for now, she forced herself to concentrate on the task at hand. Looking at herself in the mirror, she dabbed concealer under her eyes to hide the dark circles. She'd already used some magic potion to eliminate the puffiness. After adding the concealer, she was pleased to see that her tired eyes looked half way presentable. It took Debbie another ten minutes to finish her makeup and hair. Then she quickly checked her uniform and headed off to Aidan's quarters for a genuine home cooked meal....or at least that's what he claimed it would be. She was hoping this would be a relaxing evening and that she would be able to sleep soundly afterward. But as she walked through the corridors, she couldn't help but notice the knot in her stomach. It seemed to grow larger the closer she got to Aidan's quarters. She stopped a few feet away from Aidan's quarters and drew a deep breath. Debbie was downright nervous and that annoyed her. "You've had dinner with him at least a dozen times," she said to herself. "Why are so bent out of shape tonight? What's changed?" Debbie took another step but again came to an abrupt stop. "You know what's changed," she thought. "That scares you and rightfully so." She started to turn around. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," she mumbled softly. But instead of taking a step backward, she found herself moving toward the door, a little voice whispering to her forcefully, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Enjoy the meal and let the chips fall where they may." Debbie drew a deep breath and forced her doubts back into the recesses of her mind. Then she rang the door chime. Aidan was just finishing setting the table when the door chimed. He glances up at the door and says "Enter" before returning his attention to the task at hand. Once he's finished setting the table he looks up at Deb and smiles before asking "What do you want to drink?" As he asks the question he feels a blush crawl up the back of his neck. It was a bit absurd but since she was wearing her uniform he feels a bit underdressed. Granted, he isn't wearing a tuxedo but neither is he wearing a T-shirt and jeans and yet he still felt a bit underdressed in a dress shirt and slacks. He moves to pull out a chair and waits for Deb to sit down. "I'll have water," replied Debbie as she sat down. She wondered when she'd last seen Aidan Ridire out of uniform. She knew there had been other occasions but it hadn't happened recently. He'd come home with her to Redstone after the Cairo incident. Was that the last time? How many years ago was that? Cairo....now that was something she would prefer not to think about tonight. Maybe she should have dressed more casually. Debbie silently watched Aidan as he set the glass in front of her. Whatever he'd prepared smelled wonderful. "So," she asked. "What's for dinner?" He brings the food over which turns out to be orange chicken with wild rice. As he sits down he says a bit nervously "I want your honest opinion on the chicken. It's one of my mom's recipes and while I've made it before...it's been rather a few years since I've done so." He frowns slightly as he watches her take a bite of the food. He cants his head slightly as he notices the weariness on her face. It didn't take a genius to know the reason behind that and it bothered him. He sighs inwardly, thinking that perhaps dinner should have waited a few more days. He hopes they never have to deal with another ghost ship, if not for the affect it was having on him then for the affect it was having on her. Debbie smiled skeptically as she slowly took a bite of Aidan's "orange chicken." She maintained a neutral expression as she savored the flavor and savor was the proper term. It was good....really good. Debbie smiled and nodded approvingly. "Your Mom would be proud," she remarked lightly as she stabbed another piece of chicken with her fork. "This is downright delicious. You are a man of many talents....Starfleet officer, expert archer and closet chef!" She pointed the fork at him. "Okay, fess up. What other recipes have you mastered?" He smirks before taking a bite of his food. Swallowing he says "I'm not going to list all the recipes I know. With the way you're attacking your food there you'll get it in your head that I should prepare samples for you. I'm afraid you'll just have to find out via other means." He takes a few more bites of his food. He shrugs "As for my other hobbies and talents, not like I don't have time to further them. It's not like I have a wife or family to tend to. Nor do I have any other family out here to worry about." He shrugs again and says simply "My time is my own out here." Debbie reached for her glass. "Who are you kidding," she asked rhetorically. "You might as well be married to this ship. And you can't tell me you don't worry about the entire crew like you would your own family." She shook her head and took a sip of water. "Your time isn't your own out here any more than mine is." She scooped some rice onto her fork and glanced at her host. Debbie saw something in his eyes she didn't quite recognize. It was there for only a moment and it left her feeling a little unsettled. She quickly decided it was her imagination. She was tired. That was all there was to it. And, she was behaving far too seriously. This was supposed to be a relaxing evening. "But," she continued lightly. "I see nothing wrong with you spending some of your free time preparing samples." He frowns momentarily at her rather glib comment. Finally he shrugs "Perhaps..but the point still remains. I don't spend all my time on duty and one does need hobbies. Especially out here else one would go bonkers." He smirks briefly "And I am not going to be your personal chef, Deb. I certainly don't mind sharing dinner with you and I don't mind sometimes taking the time to cook said dinner. In fact I rather enjoy both. But the fact remains that if you get too spoiled then you'll start thinking that my cooking dinner for you should be an everyday event. And I don't want a spoiled Deb Matthews on my hands." His voice takes on a teasing tone as he says the last. "There's nothing wrong with spoiled," retorted Debbie, filling her fork once again. "You never know. A spoiled Deb might be easier to deal with than the one sitting across from you now." He takes a few bites of his food. Finally he asks in a more sober tone "So...are you going to tell me what has you looking rather like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs?" "I'm tired, Aidan," replied Debbie softly, choosing to focus her attention on the food in her plate. "This latest situation seems to be keeping me awake at night." She glanced at him and smiled gamely. "But I'm sure this wonderful meal will go a long way toward helping me sleep tonight." Setting down her fork, she moved her plate just enough to allow her to fold her arms and rest them on the edge of the table. "Are you telling me you're not concerned about that ship?" He nods "Of course I'm concerned. It's one big giant Pandora's box that I just as soon wish had never dropped in our laps." He sighs sadly and shakes his head "Let's not discuss such things at dinner. The bloody thing has been keeping me up nights and I'd rather try and get it out of my head. Or at least not reinforce it's position in my head. So...you can pick what we should talk about." He takes a bite from his food as he watches her. Debbie continued resting her arms on the table as she studied Aidan Ridire. She couldn't blame him for not wanting to discuss the ISS Odyssey. He was simply trying to relax and forget about the job for a few hours. The CMO found herself wishing she could do the same thing. She wished she could find something else to occupy her thoughts....something that wouldn't keep her awake at night. Leaning back in her chair, she folded her hands in her lap and tried to smile. "Okay, we won't talk about Odyssey." She paused a moment and glanced around the room. "Let's talk about something else.....like the future." Debbie again focused her attention on the Reaent's XO. "What are your plans for the future? she asked. "Where do you see yourself in a year or five years....or even ten years?" Seeing that she was nearly done with the meal, he stands and moves to retrieve the dessert. He sets her hot fudge cake down in front of her and takes his to the couch where he stretches out. While remaining in full view of her, he needed the time to think through his answer a bit. He takes a bite of his dessert and says after swallowing "I'm not sure to be honest. I grew up wanting to Captain a starship but lately...I'm not sure that I want to hold onto that dream. I may only spend a few more years here on this ship or another before returning home and either asking for a planet side billing or just retiring altogether." He shrugs and adds "And while part of me, speaking further down the line, would like to see about starting a family if I find someone...the other part of me....well...you know that story as well as I do." Seeing that she was nearly done with the meal, he stands and moves to retrieve the dessert. He sets her hot fudge cake down in front of her and takes his to the couch where he stretches out. While remaining in full view of her, he needed the time to think through his answer a bit. He takes a bite of his dessert and says after swallowing "I'm not sure to be honest. I grew up wanting to Captain a starship but lately...I'm not sure that I want to hold onto that dream. I may only spend a few more years here on this ship or another before returning home and either asking for a planet side billing or just retiring altogether." He shrugs and adds "And while part of me, speaking further down the line, would like to see about starting a family if I find someone...the other part of me....well...you know that story as well as I do." Debbie carefully surveyed the chocolate delicacy in front of her. "I'm not sure either," she replied before taking a bite. She savored the flavor of the sweet, dark chocolate for a moment before glancing at Aidan. "Another spectacular success," she said, nodding toward the decadent dessert before her. "Be sure you let me know whenever you make this. It's fabulous!" She took another bite before picking up the plate and crossing the room. "It's funny," she said, taking a seat in the lounge chair across from the sofa. "Had you asked me for my thoughts on the future last week, I would have been able to give you a definitive answer." Debbie shook her head slightly and stared at her plate. "But every time I think I finally have a clear plan, something comes along to muddy the waters." She carefully lifted another piece of the cake and ice cream toward her mouth but then stopped and laid the fork down on the plate. "I used to think this job was the end all. Once I'd achieved this goal, I would be content." Again, she shook her head slightly. "But I was wrong. I'm not content. What's more, I'm afraid to think of where I'll be in one year, much less ten." He closes his eyes briefly "Yeah, that I can understand. I used to think that being a Captain would be the end all for me. Curious the closer I get to that goal the less I'm sure I want it." He takes a bite from his cake. Swallowing he asks "So..what were your thoughts on the future last week? And why are you now afraid of where you'll be in a year or ten years? And what do you want your future to be now?" Debbie took another bite of the delicious dessert. She considered Aidan's question as she allowed the cake and ice cream to slowly melt in her mouth. She wasn't sure she wanted to answer the question but fair was fair. She was the one who brought up the subject in the first place. "I saw myself here," she began with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Here meaning Reaent. I figured I would stay put for another two or three years. And then maybe request a ground assignment and settle down with someone." He arches an eyebrow as he considers her words. He takes a bite from his dessert as what she said stirs the memory of where his thoughts had drifted towards earlier on the bridge. It is true that of the people on the Reaent, he was closest to Deb and cared the most about her. That was only natural considering that she was the one who had helped him through the darkness he had faced since coming to this ship. But that was only friendship...wasn't it? After Fiona he had decided that he never wanted to be hurt like that again, didn't want to risk himself like that again. To paraphrase the old adage..too much pain for too little gain. And yet...if he carried out that decision to its end that was going to be a rather lonely existence. He sighs inwardly and shakes his head slightly. He looks up to find her looking back at him curiously. He hesitates a second then smiles and reaches a hand to caress her face. "I'm sure you'll find that someone. That you deserve, Deb" Debbie felt herself blushing and quickly looked away. She suddenly felt like she was hanging onto a limb in the middle of a hurricane. "We all deserve a special someone," she replied a little too quickly. "But I'm not sure it's worth the risk." Had their conversation taken place a week earlier, she would have responded quite differently. Before the Reaent's latest brush with disaster, Debbie had been willing to take a chance on developing a personal relationship with someone she considered special. What's more, she was hoping to take that chance with Aidan. It had taken her a couple of years to reach that decision. It only took a few hours to change her mind. Debbie studied the remains of her dessert while silently chiding herself. It had been a mistake to bring this up. She was already depressed about the Odyssey incident. This conversation was just adding to her malaise. For a moment, she thought about leaving. She could easily concoct a very plausible excuse for doing so. At the same time, she found herself wanting to stay. And that fact bothered her immensely. Nick frowns slightly and sighs. "Deb, it wasn't that long ago that you were chiding me for taking that same exact position. That I was wrong for deciding to close off my heart because of what happened with Fiona. And that I was allowing the darkness to swallow me. Well as much as you don't want me to be swallowed by that darkness I don't want you swallowed by it either. You're far too dear to me for me to be able to stand watching you go through that. And I know you well enough to know that you really don't want to take the path I took. It's just that the Odyssey is weighing on you as it is the rest of us. You can't change what happened to them but neither should what happened to them be allowed to change you." He closes his eyes briefly. "I may have lost my chance when Fiona died or maybe there is someone else out there. I don't know. However, I do know that I hope there is. I have a long life ahead of me and I don't, as much as the wounded part of me says otherwise, wish to live it alone." "So, please, if the chance presents itself to you..if you find someone or if you already have please take it, for both our sakes. I want you to find happiness, Deb, and maybe if you do it will help shore up my faith that someday I will find the same. And if you fall, rest assured I will catch you." Debbie paused a moment to allow Aidan's words to sink in. She glanced at him and smiled slightly, not quite sure what to make of his remarks. Oddly enough, she felt both relief and disappointment. "It's good to know someone is watching my back," she quipped, unable to think of anything else to say. She stood and wandered back to the dining table to pick up her glass. "If you happen to find someone, and you fall, I'll be there to catch you as well," she said before taking a sip from her glass. Had this conversation taken place just a few days earlier, there would have been much more to say. Debbie would have tried to discern just how Aidan Ridire really felt about her. There were times when she thought he considered her more than just a friend. She'd finally reached the point where she was willing to admit that to him as well. But that was before Odyssey and the mirror universe...before the latest overdose of death and mass destruction....before uncertainty once again clouded her vision of the future. It was bad enough to watch total strangers die much less those she considered friends. She couldn't imagine losing someone she'd allowed herself to fall in love with. "It's better this way," she thought silently. That's why she felt relief at Aidan's remarks. At the same time, she was forced to admit her disappointment was nearly palpable....another very disturbing turn of events. He watches her for a few moments then sighs quietly to himself. He moves so he's sitting on the edge of the low table in front of her. He murmurs "Please don't close yourself off like that. It's bad enough I do that, I would not wish that on the person I care about most on this ship." He hesitates slightly then moves to kiss her on the cheek. He withdraws a little then says quietly "I wish I knew what to do or say to return the smile to your face, to make you happy. I don't want to see you like this." Debbie smiled gamely. "Just let me know when you decide to stop closing yourself off," she stated flatly. She immediately wished she could reel those words back in but that wasn't possible. The only other thing to do was run so Debbie immediately stood. She walked across the room, putting as much distance between herself and Aidan as she could and resolutely stared out the windows. He watches her quietly for a few seconds, both wondering at what was going on with her..and wondering what had made him kiss her, even if it was only on the cheek. He stands and steps up behind her. He rests a hand on her shoulder and gently turns her around. He says quietly "Deb, what's really going on? It's not like you to shut me out like this." He pauses slightly then adds "And as for what you said...I honestly would like to stop closing myself off...rather tired of it to be honest. And I don't want you to repeat my mistake, you're the only one on this ship that I'm at all open with, that I'm at all close to. I'd like to continue that..and see how things turn out." Debbie forced herself to remain calm. It was no small task. The elephants traipsing around in her stomach were difficult to hide. She carefully studied Aidan Ridire's expression. Unlike herself, he seemed very much at ease. He wanted to continue on as they had been and see what happened. It could be he'd figured this out. Maybe he knew she'd fallen for him and maybe he understood her seemingly irrational fear to admit it. As hard as she tried, Debbie couldn't find any reason to object to Aidan's offer. She wanted his friendship. She was pretty sure she wanted more than that. At the same time, she wasn't ready to make the commitment. Heck, she couldn't even suggest it. For some reason, she got the distinct impression Aidan knew that and was wasn't going to push. She doubted she would ever be able to express her gratitude for that. Debbie clasped his right hand with both of hers and looked him in the eye. "You're a patient man, Aidan Ridire," she said softly while offering him a genuine smile. "I hope you're not disappointed with how things work out." He smiles and squeezes her hand gently. "As long as you don't try closing yourself off the only way I'd be disappointed was if our friendship dies." He shrugs slightly as he slips his hand from hers. Hugging her gently he murmurs "Whatever else happens, I'll trust to fate."

Location: The Brig Sky Harbor Aegis Time: 0430 hours Damin wakes up slowly and groggily, suffering from the headache and the other effects of being hit with a phaser set to heavy stun. As his mind clears he remembers what happened and it caused him to smile in grim satisfaction. As he glances around what is obviously a cell he exults in the knowledge that no matter what happens to him, he had at least dealt with that damned Federation Captain. The plan had come off nearly perfectly with the only hitch being his capture thanks to that brown haired female that had come to the Captain's defense from out of nowhere. Damin still hasn't figured how she showed up or even who she was. He had heard from the delegation that had visited the Federation station that the member species that comprised the Federation still reproduced naturally so perhaps the woman was somehow intimate with the Federation Captain. The thought of it was enough to make Damin's skin crawl so he quickly dismissed the line of thought. What he really wanted to know was what happened immediately after she showed up. All he knew was that one second he was trying to make escape and that the next thing he remembered was waking up in what was apparently a medical facility onboard the Federation station. His escape attempt from that place hadn't gone any better then his earlier attempt to escape. He realized that he wasn't really going to find out what had happened and he had resigned himself that escape was probably out of the question now. As weak as he thought the Federation is he wasn't fool enough to think that they hadn't realized how dangerous he was by now. They were sure to keep him under far more stringent security measures now. Which left him only one real option, an option that he had known was going to be the fate he most likely had secured for himself. All he had to do was retrieve the phial he had secreted in one of the boots he was wearing without alerting the person that was sure to be watching him. After some time he manages to retrieve the phial. He studies it for a few seconds then quite nonchalantly he ingests it. That done he lays back down on the cot in the cell and closes his eyes to wait.

The dust had finally settled. The missing Away Team was no longer missing. They were all home, safe and sound....a little shaken up but not too much worse for the wear. Despite their protests, Debbie had ordered they remain in "medical custody" for at least six hours. That would give her staff ample time to conduct thorough examinations to insure the away team members were in good health. After that, they were free to return to their quarters for rest. They were all instructed to return to Sickbay the following day for reevaluation. The last of the patients, Brian Smith, left Sickbay about an hour earlier. But not before having a long and detailed discussion with his former boss about the behavior of PO2 Simon Ljungberg, the newest member of the medical staff. Ljungberg was a very recent addition to the crew. This had been his first away mission....ever. Debbie was almost certain he would never forget it. The CMO didn't hesitate approving Ljungberg's assignment to the away team. Although she'd hoped for the best, Debbie had almost expected a negative report on his conduct. The young medic had an attitude and a mouth to go with it. That didn't change the fact she'd been worried sick about him when the away team went missing. She was greatly relieved he'd returned safely. But now there was another problem. Lt. Smith's litany of complaints regarding Simon's behavior while on the away team would have to be addressed. Debbie considered sitting down with the Petty Officer as soon as Brian left but quickly discarded the idea. In spite of his attitude, she knew Ljungberg would need some time to pull himself together before having his head handed to him. Besides, he'd already left Sickbay by the time she and Brian finished their little chat. Merina had worked her tail off, no pun intended. Not only did she assist with their examinations, it was her responsibility to keep the away team members from sneaking out before the appointed time. She and Merina both dragged themselves out of Sickbay a few minutes earlier turning things over to Russ Eckert and his shift. The CMO assumed Merina was heading to her quarters for a long nap. That was exactly what Debbie wanted to do but she had to make a stop first. "I guess this is a house call," she thought to herself as she stood in front of Aidan Ridire's quarters. "Even if the patient didn't call for a doctor." Debbie pressed the chime. "Maybe he's not here," she whispered quietly after a few seconds had passed. Then she heard the familiar voice beckoning her to enter. "Gee," she called while stepping inside. "I couldn't help but notice. You're tone of voice seems to indicate you're less than enthusiastic about visitors." Aidan glances up from the book he was reading....trying to read to be honest as the Doctor enters his quarters. Normally he was a fast reader when he could concentrate on it. And normally Ivanhoe, the book he was trying to read, was of enough interest that he could read the thing in a few hours. And yet he had been trying to read through chapter seven for at least the last ten minutes and had seemingly made no headway. Sighing quietly to himself he sets the book down on the table near him and reaches for the tea sitting next to it. He starts to take a sip of the tea but wrinkles his nose in annoyance at finding the tea had long gone cold. He sighs again and says "Sorry, Debra, am just a bit tired is all. So..how is your erstwhile patients? Debbie didn't bother waiting for an invitation before sinking into a chair across from Aidan. "If you're referring to the erstwhile patients from the away team," she replied. "They're all in fairly good shape....just a few bumps and bruises and they're pretty exhausted. We sent them all home for a good rest. We'll reevaluate them tomorrow but I'm sure they'll be just fine." She paused a moment and studied the man sitting across from her, his book now laying open in his lap. "My question is, how is the erstwhile patient in this room?" He considers her for a few seconds then shrugs "Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm glad that they're back safe and sound and I'm glad we didn't leave when the Captain wanted to. And frankly..I'm a little annoyed at his apparent callousness." He sighs quietly "I'm just tired. Tired of being tired, tired of being on edge...tired of having to build shield upon shield upon shield." He studies her again for a few seconds "So what exactly brings you down here? Surely it wasn't to beat around the bush...." Debbie couldn't help but laugh. At the same time, she felt a bit uneasy. She'd known Aidan Ridire for many years. She even considered him a friend. But he was a tough nut to crack. They'd made real progress prior to the Reaent's destruction. To no one's surprise, Aidan took that debacle very personally. Now, he seemed almost as withdrawn as he'd been when they first met. "One step forward, two steps back," thought Debbie as she considered how to proceed. She was a little encouraged that Aidan was being so open with her about his feelings. Then again, she already knew he was pleased they'd recovered the away team. And she also knew he was annoyed with the Captain's callous attitude. It was Aidan's remarks about building shields that really worried her. And there was something else as well.....something he'd said a few days ago....that bothered her as well. Leaning back in her chair, she looked at her commanding officer and friend. "I'm worried about you, Aidan," she said quietly. "You've weighed yourself down with all of those shields you keep building." Debbie shook her head sadly. "I don't think you're a very happy person. And that seems especially true since your friend Nick got married." She shrugged her shoulders. "Ever consider unloading all that heavy baggage you're carrying around?" He arches an eyebrow "On to who? You're the only person I'm really close to on this ship and you have enough on your plate as is without me heaping more onto it. As for my family, I do talk to them and they know most of what is going on. Nick? He's helping run an entire space station in an important and very volatile area of space as well as being newly married. That doesn't exactly leave anyone, Debra. No, I'm not exactly a happy person right now. In the last few years I've taken a lot emotional damage and the scars from that takes time to heal." He closes his eyes and sighs quietly. "As for Nick's marriage, I am happy for him. And I'm glad he found someone. She must be quite special to get him to look past the ramifications of his genetic heritage. To get him to look past the fact that we will be nothing more than dust and ash when he comes to the end of his life." He shakes his head slightly "I am glad for him. But to some degree it only reminds me of what I lost. That on that score I am not where I wanted to be and that I'm not sure I ever will be." Debbie closed her eyes for a moment. "Some wounds leave scars so deep they never heal," she replied while rubbing her temples. She was tired and not necessarily as patient as she might be under other circumstances. "But what the heck," she thought silently. "He knows I didn't come here to beat around the bush." Dropping her hands, Debbie opened her eyes and looked at Aidan. "This has been going on too long," she stated flatly. "You've been in a downward spiral since Cairo....and do you realize how long ago that was?" It was a rhetorical question and she didn't give him an opportunity to answer. "I'm glad you talk to your family," she continued, leaning forward in her chair. "But I doubt very seriously they have any idea how miserable you feel. And why do I think that? Because you don't want them to know. I don't think you want anybody to know. You'd rather hide behind those shields of yours." Debbie stood, walked across the room. "I'm scared, Aidan," she said, gazing out the window. "I'm scared you're going to crack under the weight. I'm scared this ship may lose its XO." She paused and turned to face him. "I'm scared I'm going to lose someone who means a lot to me." She lowered her voice slightly. "You've got to open up." Matthews shook her head and returned to her chair. "And another thing," she said as she sat down. "I'll be the one who determines if I have too much on my plate. Rest assured, I'll let you know when I reach that point. Right now, the only thing I've had too much of is you calling me Debra. How many times have I told you that only my grandparents are allowed to call me that. And the only reason they get away with it is because.....well....they're my grandparents." The two sat staring at each other in silence for a moment. It was Debbie who spoke first. "I think you're a little jealous of your friend Nick. Maybe you're a lot jealous. What do you think?" If that didn't get a rise from him, she didn't know what would. He narrows his eyes and is just about to say something scathing but he bites his tongue and considers what she said. He stands and paces around the room a few times. Finally he turns to stare at her and says "I know exactly how long it has been since the Cairo, Debbie. And actually my family does know most of what has been going on with me. I've never been one to be able to hide things from my sister or especially my parents." "As for the Cairo, I made a promise to them..to her to find the monsters who caused the Cairo's destruction and her death. I can't just let that go. And yes I am aware what affect it has had on me. That darkness was what kept me going for the weeks following her death and I know its still there and yes it does scare me, more then you know. I can feel it trying to claim me entirely and I am trying to fight against that but it is, I fear, a fight I am in alone with very little light. If we found the people that caused their deaths I can't promise I wouldn't do to them what they did to Fiona and the others and that absolutely scares me to death. I am scared of that and I am scared of being hurt again. I don't want to become cold and heartless..I don't want to become like them. But between that and the debacle a few months ago I am getting worn down, I'm getting tired and I am not sure what to do about that. It's very much like trying to drag oneself out of quicksand." He sighs "I fear I can only try to bear the weight and hope there is a light on the other end." "As for what you said about Nick, yeah maybe I am a little. And I guess I have also been a little angry with him for the part he played with Fiona. But I understand that's not really his fault, it was not something he chose to do with the intent of hurting her. And maybe I am a little jealous. She's dead, I'm here stuck and he moved on. Part of me doesn't exactly see that as fair." He sighs and shrugs "But who said life was fair." He moves to sit on the edge of the low table so he's sitting directly in front of her. He says quietly "I am grateful that you're concerned though I'm not entirely sure I understand why you're that concerned about me." He shrugs again "What would you have me do?" Dr. Matthews leaned forward a bit. "Thanks for dropping the Debra," she quipped with a slight grin. "As for what you should do? Well, you could keep talking like this. You don't do that very much anymore. Believe it or not, that will help relieve some of the stress." She looked away for a moment before again meeting his gaze. "There's something I need you to know," she began slowly. "Not a day goes by that I don't offer a prayer for the Cairo's crew and beg for justice for those lost souls." She wagged a finger at him to emphasize her point. "Not one day, Aidan" she added softly. "Not one single day. But I refuse to allow whoever was responsible to destroy me too." Debbie scooted up in her chair so her knees practically touched Ridire's. "You can't let that happen to you either," she continued, her voice so low she wondered if he would hear her. "Aidan," she pleaded, "you have got to let go of some of that anger. It's eating you alive. You can't allow them to destroy you too." "I'm so sorry you feel like you're stuck here," continued Debbie, shaking her head sadly. "But where would you rather be? What would you rather be doing?" She paused again but never broke eye contact with him. "I know you loved Fiona. But do you really believe she was the only woman you could ever love? Have you ever considered the possibility that somewhere, in this great big universe, there just might be someone else you could love like that?" Debbie leaned back in her chair and glanced around the room. "You're right, Aidan," she continued plaintively. "Life isn't fair. And as to why I'm so concerned, well, let's just say I care about you and leave it at that." He sighs "I didn't mean stuck here on this ship. I meant stuck as in not quite sure how to move on. This ship is home to me, this crew like family to me and I care a great deal about them, one in particular." He sighs again "And you're right, I can't allow them to destroy me. Just feel rather alone in all that has been going on." She starts to speak but without thinking he reaches to press a finger to her lips to stop her "I know, I'm not alone, guess it just got rather easy to think that way." He lowers his hand back to his side and shrugs "As for your other question, no I don't think she was the only woman I could ever love. Just not sure I want to risk my heart again like that. Right now I'm not even sure what I'd do if someone I cared about told me they loved me." Debbie chuckled. "You'd bolt like a scared jack rabbit," she replied. "And I can appreciate that. You feel like your heart has been run through a meat grinder." She sighed deeply, suddenly aware of how tired she was. "Sometimes, it's easier to feel that you're alone. Allowing others into your life tends to complicate things." She again rubbed her temples. "It isn't all peaches and cream. Sometimes people hurt each other. They don't mean to, it just happens. But you have to feel a little pain in order to feel the joy. They go hand in hand. And you never impressed me as a coward, Aidan. I firmly believe you can deal with it, but not until you free yourself from the anger that's consuming you." Debbie smiled warmly. "A good first step it to remember you're not alone and quit acting as if you were." He shakes his head "I hope I wouldn't bolt. I hope I'd at least be open to the possibility still. To be honest..the thought of going through life alone like that scares me. And it has been a couple years, perhaps it is time I start moving on about that front." He closes his eyes briefly and sighs "Yeah and I know, one can't value joy without experiencing some pain..but I've had very little of the former lately and way too much of the latter. Would like a little balance at least." Debbie's smile broadened. "Maybe there is hope for you after all," she replied lightly. "And you're right. It's time for you to move on." The smile faded a bit and she took on a more serious tone. "That's not to say I don't understand where your coming from. We seem to have been caught in some type of disaster syndrome. We move from one painful mess into another with no time in between for healing." She moved forward again in her chair and looked closely at Aidan. "I'd like a little balance as well," she began softly. "But I'm not quite sure how to achieve it. I mean," she paused a moment, looking for the right words. "I have an idea but." Another pause, this one a few seconds longer. "Well, I'm downright scared to pursue it." With that, Dr. Matthews abruptly stood, nearly tripping over Ridire's feet as she stepped toward the door. "I think I may have stayed too long," she remarked as casually as possible. "But I'm glad we talked." She turned back to face him. "I think we made some progress." Aidan blinks, convinced that there was something he was missing here. He stands and steps towards her. Quietly he says "You should get some rest, Deb. You look as tired as I feel." He hesitates a moment then leans to kiss her on the cheek "And thank you for the talk." He smiles faintly "Sometime you can tell me about that idea of yours that you are scared to pursue. Or scared to tell me of even apparently." "We have made progress," joked Debbie. "All the way from Debra to Deb. I'm impressed." She smiled wearily. "I am tired. It's been a long day." She took another step toward the now open door then turned back to meet Aidan's gaze. "And I will tell you about my idea one day....hopefully, very soon." Debbie again headed for the door. "But it will have to be a day when I'm fully awake.....because I sure don't want to mess up something that important." Again convinced that he's missing something all he can do is watch her leave. As the door closes behind her he sighs tiredly and shakes his head. It felt good to talk and she is one of the best listeners he knows but honestly...he wishes she hadn't left him confused as to whether there was something going on that he was missing..something that should have been obvious to him. He sighs again and turns to head for his bedroom. Maybe he'd see what it was after a good nights sleep..though privately he kind of doubts that rest will bring any more clarity.

Save your tears for the day when our pain is far behind. On your feet, come with me We are soldiers, stand or die Save your fears, take your place Save them for the judgement day Fast and free, follow me Time to make the sacrifice We rise or fall --Rise It was quite amazing that a person could feel so many emotions at once without literally bursting from it. Hatred, anger, despair and fear were all roiling in the young human known as Aidan Ridire. As Aidan watches the Reaent, all but reduced to a hulk, recede as the escape pod moves away from it he tries not to give into the darkness that is eating at him from within. It was the same darkness that he had been fighting against ever since he had found Fiona's body on the bridge of the Cairo. The darkness that had made him nearly lash out at his best friend for his pushing her away and making her go to the Cairo. The little shadowy voice inside him that wanted nothing more then to see the people behind the destruction of the Cairo broken and dead before him, preferbly at his own hands. The ship was..is his home and he cared for the people on it as if they were his family because in a way that is what they had become to him. Granted, there were some he cared for more then others but then it was a rather large crew. And he can't help but feel he had failed them somehow by not better protecting their home. That coupled with the anger at what had happened was threatening to overwhelm his control at the time when he needed it most. His people were not safe, not by a long shot and until they were and the people who had done this were wiped from existance, the darkness would just have to wait to claim him.

Aidan returns to his quarters and moves to sit at the desk in the main room of his suite. Activating the computer he accesses the Starfleet personnell records and calls up Commander Holt's file. As he studies it his frown grows deeper and darker. He murmurs "What is a Divisional Commander of SFI doing on a ship of the line at a time like this..." He shakes his head and taps a button on his desk before saying "Security, I want armed guards placed at all vital areas of the ship. If Commander Holt visits any of those locations it is to be reported to me immediately. Adjust the shifts accordingly but they are to remain in place until the completion of our current mission. I also want a lockout on all communications off the ship. No one is allowed to contact anyone off the ship without my clearance." Turning off the intercom he turns to his next task which is adding a layer of protection to the command authorization codes imbedded in the ship's main computer. Normally he would consider this being paranoid but over the years he had more then a few dealings and had heard far too much about SFI to trust to their benevolent intentions. Especially to the intentions of a certain Commander who had come aboard and proceeded to act like an arrogant jackanape.

Aidan closes his eyes as he listens to the music. And that's when the door chime rings. Aidan blinks his eyes open and hesitates for a few seconds and then with a quiet sigh he says "Enter." To be honest he isn't sure he wants company right now but he has a suspicion he knows who it is. He had spent the better part of his lifetime learning how to control his emotions and not allowing them to slip free. Being in Starfleet made that a requirement, especially for Command officers but also life had scarred him enough that it had made him wrap a cloak around himself to always keep him detached and aloof from those around him. To be honest part of it was also because he was afraid, to some degree, to let his emotions have free reign, especially his darker emotions. If someone asked him what he would do to the persons responsible for the Cairo he couldn't honestly say. He hoped he would have the presence of mind to not become like them..and yet he could not deny the temptation was there buried down in the darkest recesses of his soul. He had seen rage like that burning in the eyes of one his closest friends when confronted with the Borg and all their malevolence at the Battle of Wolf and it had sent a chill down Aidan's spine at the time and it still does whenever he recalls the memory. His friend's rage at the time had been all but palpable and Aidan had always wondered since then, especially since Fiona's death, if he was capable of such depths. And he prayed to God that he would never find out that he was. There were those who had managed to pierce that veil, so to speak, or who he had allowed to were few and far between. So he would let one of those people now at least say her mind. It's not like she wasn't stubborn enough to force the issue if he had refused. And truth to tell maybe he needed the company even if he didn't necessarily want it. As the doors open he says "Computer, lights low. And lower the music volume." Debbie shook her head and smiled sadly. Commander Ridire responded to the door chime almost immediately which meant he had a pretty good idea who was waiting in the corridor. It also meant he wasn't surprised by her unannounced visit. She decided that was a good thing. Maybe he wanted company....maybe he wanted to talk....maybe he was tired of keeping the grief and anger bottled up inside. Then again, maybe not. She would find out soon enough. Matthews stepped in quietly and glanced about in the dim light. Aidan's quarters were meticulously clean with everything in its place. She would have expected nothing less from a man like Ridire. However, Debbie found it a bit out of character for him to be sitting in near darkness, listening to the muted strains of a somber tune whose words she couldn't quite hear. It was obvious his spirit felt the heavy weight of this anniversary. Aidan was stretched out on the couch, a small glass loosely clutched in his left hand. She couldn't see if there was anything in it. The bottle was on a nearby table, quickly available should a refill be required. She found herself wondering what Ridire's preferences were when it came to "adult beverages." She had never seen him drink anything but hot chocolate or tea. But he was Irish. Debbie was absolutely certain he could handle a lot stronger brews than cocoa or tea. That was especially true on occasions such as this. Neither of them spoke as the CMO made her way across the room and sat down in one of the chairs in the living area. She leaned over, picked up the bottle from the table and read the label. "Do you have another glass?" she asked softy. Aidan watches Debra silently for a few seconds before he sits up and pushes himself to his feet. He sets his glass gently on the table before striding towards the kitchen area and retrieving another glass. He returns and sets the second glass on the table in front of her. Since she's holding the bottle he decides to let her pour her own drink so he moves to sit down on one end of the couch. He turns and faces her, letting his legs stretch along the cushions of the couch. His voice, bereft of its usual lilt, has a more noticeable Irish brogue as he says "Be careful. That Irish whiskey is old and its got a kick." He would ask her why she was here but he already knows so he watches her pour her drink while waiting for her to broach the subject first. Debbie examined the bottle again. Sure enough, it was Irish Whiskey. Some would consider it a delicacy. Others thought of it as "gut rot." Obviously, Aidan was among those in the first category and from his somewhat pronounced brogue, he'd already had at least a sip or two. Matthews wasn't much of a drinker but this was a special occasion. The least she could do was toast absent friends. So she poured herself enough to barely cover the bottom of the glass and returned the bottle to its place on the table. She carefully swished the liquid around in the glass and couldn't help but notice the strong aroma it generated. "To absent friends," she offered as she raised her glass. Debbie didn't wait for Ridire to return the toast. She took a quick sip of the whiskey and promptly choked. Her eyes watered, her nose ran and her throat burned all the way into her stomach. Debbie managed to sit the glass down on the table and catch her breath. "Good grief, Aidan," she sputtered. "I knew this would be a bad day for you, but if you drink too much of that stuff, I'll have to put you on suicide watch. It wouldn't take but a cup or two to kill you." Aidan used his drinking the rest of what was in his glass to cover the smile at the Doctor's reaction to the drink. He says "I warned you, Doct..Debbie, that it had a kick. That bottle was a gift from my grandfather for my last birthday. It's well over a hundred years old." He reaches for the bottle and then hesitates for a few seconds. He had no intention of getting drunk before Debbie showed up and now that she was here he most definitily did not intend to. If he was going to lose control like that it would be in complete and total privacy and not in front of anyone, especially not a colleague and a friend. He shakes his head slightly and pours himself another drink, one that nearly fills the glass. Unlike Debbie's careful sipping, Aidan downs the drink quickly after saying "To absent friends." The only visible reaction to the drink that he has is his escaped breath. He puts the bottle and the glass down on the table and then settles back against the couch. "You needn't worry that I will do something foolish like crawl into that bottle. Despite my heritage and the fact that my family history does include its trancers, I have never been much of a drinker. That right there was my second one and my self-imposed limit is three. He shakes his head and says "Besides, it would disappoint my grandfather." Aidan's voice alters in a fair imitation of his grandfather "This whiskey, laddie, she is to be savoured." He sighs and then says "And yet, if there was ever a day where the temptation to crawl inside that bottle exists, it would be this day." He draws his legs up to his chest as he turns his attention to the stars outside the nearby window. Debbie leaned back in the chair and studied the man on the couch across from her. "I would be very surprised if you crawled into any bottle," she said, nodding toward the whiskey on the table. "Especially that one....and I mean no disrespect to your grandfather but that stuff is....well....you could probably preserve specimens in it." She looked at her own glass, now sitting on the table. Considering the age and value of the whiskey, Debbie was grateful she'd poured herself a very small quantity. But no matter the occasion, nothing could entice her to drink the rest of it. Returning her attention to Ridire, she decided it was time to say the dreaded word. "I wasn't the least concerned about you crawling into a bottle," she continued. "I was afraid you would crawl inside yourself and we might not see you again for a long time. I know how intensely you feel about Fiona and the Cairo. And I also know you're a control freak so, right now, I think you're walking a tight rope." She paused a moment and smiled sadly. "I'm pleased to see you're haven't fallen off of it yet." He shakes his head "It's not that I'm a control freak, its just that I keep a rein on my emotions and am an inherently reserved. I'm not used to letting people get close. And I guess to some degree I'm scared of letting my temper gain control." He sighs sadly "It was bad enough I wanted to deck Nick at Fiona's funeral back home. And honestly the only thing that has kept me on the tight rope, to use your phrase, was this place. This ship, protecting her and all of you has allowed me to keep my focus at least. I think I would have gone mad otherwise. And yet..I still want justice..or perhaps its revenge. Or maybe this is one of those rare cases where they are one and the same." Debbie wasn't in the mood to argue so she decided to let the "it's not that I'm a control freak" remark pass without comment. And she considered it healthy that Ridire feared his own temper. Anger could be a useful tool but only up to a point. Beyond that, it could easily do far more damage than good. At least Aidan was aware of that. Debbie had crossed paths with many who weren't. They usually fell victim to their own runaway emotions. Most were bright and talented individuals but their lack of self control turned them into miserable creatures. It pleased Debbie to know Ridire did not fall into that category. He was the classic example of self control....sometimes a little too much so. But this wasn't the time or the place to debate the control issue. "Justice or revenge?" she asked plaintively. "I'm not sure they are the same. At least I hope they aren't. Even in this case, I would like to think we, as a society, can draw the line between holding criminals accountable and ruthless vindictiveness." She found herself gazing out the window as she continued. "Of course, it's easy for me to sit here and spout pretty words about right and wrong. A lot of people died on the Cairo. I didn't know any of them until after the fact. If I'd lost a loved one, that line between justice and revenge would probably be a little fuzzy right now." Debbie closed her eyes momentarily. In those few seconds, she again saw the faces of many of the deceased members of the Cairo's crew. This happened all too frequently and it bothered her more than she cared to admit. The dead seemed to be calling out from beyond their graves, reminding her they were once living beings who laughed and cried and loved, begging that someone find those who were responsible for their deaths and bring their killers to justice. She quickly opened her eyes. The images immediately disappeared but she couldn't stop the few tears that quietly rolled down her cheeks. Grateful for the dim lights, Debbie abruptly stood and turned her back to the window and Ridire. She clutched her arms around her tightly as the all too familiar emotions washed over her. "There's nothing I can do for them," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "I couldn't save their lives a year ago and now, I can't help find those who were responsible for murdering them." Debbie drew a deep breath and lowered her head. "It really hurts and it makes me angry....and I'm so tired of the hurt and anger." Aidan stands and moves in front of Debbie. He sighs sadly and with some hesitation brushes her tears away. He says quietly "Those emotions I understand all too well. And I wish I knew what to say to assuage that hurt and anger, Debbie, but I don't. But what I do know is that we will find out who killed the Cairo and her crew and while we couldn't save them we will bring them the peace and justice they deserve. On that I have no doubt in the world." He shakes his head slightly and says sadly "No matter how long it takes, that was the promise I made." Debbie looked up at Aidan Ridire, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. One thing was for certain, she thought to herself. This house call had not gone according to plan. She'd been quick to label the XO a "control freak," but it took one to know one. Of all the people aboard Reaent, Debbie found it downright ironic that she'd lost control in front of Commander Ridire. What she couldn't figure out was why she wasn't embarrassed. The truth was, it didn't seem to bother her at all. It had been almost....easy to tell him how miserable she felt about the Cairo disaster. Perhaps that was because she knew he felt the same way, if not worse. What was that old expression? "Misery loves company." But that wasn't why she'd come here today. Or maybe it was. Maybe she was the one who needed to talk about the Cairo. Then again, it could have been that Irish Whiskey. Debbie took another deep breath and tried to make sense of her confusion. She again looked at Aidan Ridire. He'd made a promise to find whoever was responsible for the Cairo's destruction and the deaths of three quarters of her crew. He'd promised the perpetrators would be brought to justice. Debbie wondered silently if it was possible to keep such an ambitious promise. Aidan's eyes reflected a quiet determination. That was enough to quell any doubts Debbie had about his ability to fulfill his promise. He was a man of honor who was blessed with a strong will. He also had resources that would assist him in his search for the Cairo's killers. And she would help as well, in whatever way she could, no matter how long it took. Quite unexpectedly, Debbie felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. They would not be forgotten....ever. She smiled shyly, stepped forward and kissed Aidan lightly on the cheek. "Thank you for that promise," she whispered. "I expect you to allow me to do whatever I can to help you keep it." She didn't wait for a reply. Instead, she quickly turned around and retrieved her glass which still contained half a sip of Aidan's prized Irish Whiskey. "To the promise," she said boldly as she lifted the glass high. Then she finished off the drink and promptly.....choked again. This time he doesn't bother to hide the faint smile. He steps up to her and takes the glass from her hand. "I think perhaps you should lay off this stuff. Admittedly, one does need an acquired taste for it." He kisses her forehead briefly and then steps back before saying "As for helping, that you've done..more then you know." He glances out at the stars and his smile disappears like a cloud passing before the sun. He shivers briefly before adding quietly "And I have no doubt that I will need your help, and the help of the others, before this is done."

Tell me what you're thinking of Tell me if you love me not I have so much I long to ask you But now the chance has gone When your picture fades each day In my heart the memory stays --The Words I Feel by J. Hogg Aidan sets the bottle and glass down on the low table next to the couch in his quarters before stretching out on the couch and staring out at the stars. He reaches for the glass and drains it halfway. Putting the glass down he refills it before reaching for a picture and examining it. The picture shows three young humans...well mostly human. Two of the people, the two young men, are dressed in the gold Starfleet uniforms and both have the rank pips of Lieutenants. One of them is, despite the shorter cut hair, quite obviously a young Aidan Ridire and the other is a silver haired and silver eyed young man that looks to be the same age as Aidan. The other person, a young female, is wearing a blue Starfleet uniform and her rank is of Lieutenant junior grade. All three are smiling and seem not to have a care in the world on their young faces. Her arms are around the necks of the two young men. Aidan sighs sadly and murmurs "I'm sorry Fiona but I'm no closer to finding out who murdered you and your ship or why. But I will find the person or persons responsible someday, I promise you that. No matter what it takes or who I have to go through. For your own peace...as well as my own." He closes his eyes and tries to keep the tears from falling. As he does so his memories flash before his eyes, memories of the times he spent on the USS Venture mixed with the memory of Fiona lying dead on the bridge of the USS Cairo. First we touch, and we hurt each other Then we tear our hearts apart We are too close and I can feel the pain Fill my empty heart Is this pain too much for me Can I stay the same When this pain consumes my heart Will I be able to hold on to my soul --Pain by J. Hogg

Aidan frowns to himself as he mulls the current situation unfolding on the main viewscreen. He had spent most of his adult life as a scientist and it was that part of him that was considering the conumdrum posed by the null field. When they had been stuck inside the thing, a considerable amount of time had passed..or had seemed to. And yet, watching from the outside the null field had closed in upon itself in a manner of a few minutes. The idea that time is relative certainly wasn't new as the early human starpships had found out before the invention of the modern warp drive. If it wasn't for the fact that the Reaent had indeed gone backwards in time, Aidan would consider the possibility that the null field had simply messed up the sensors and the computer somehow. Sighing to himself, Aidan dismisses the line of thought from his mind. Temporal mechanics was not his scientific forte and there were definitly far smarter people then he who would be able to figure out what had happened with regards to the null field. Hopefully they'd be able to explain how exactly the Reaent had been transported back in time as well. It was best to leave it up to to them..but still...it would be interesting to get a hold of the equipment on that unknown cloaked ship that had generated the null field in the first place.

Aidan taps his commbadge and says "Mr. Mclean, check on the engines and see if you can get them operational. We're going to need to get out of here. Report on the viability of the warp engines as soon as you can. And any power that isn't going to the engines or anything else vital should be shunted to the defenses as well as the Structural Integrity Field and the Inertial Dampeners. And make sure that what is supposed to have been repaired by whomever was actually repaired to sufficient quality." With that, Aidan turns his attention back to the Ops console. Whatever had attacked the Reaent seemed to have gone dormant when the Ambassador class ship left the system but Aidan wasn't about to bet on the situation remaining that way for long. He enters a set of command codes and lock-outs into the computer. That done, he sees to the task of slaving the helm controls to the Ops console in front of him. As he does so he says "Doctor, when you find the ship's logs, I want you to prepare to create a Datalink to both the Reaent and to Memory Prime. I do not want whatever information is in the computer to be lost in case..." He hesitates on saying the rest and instead changes tack "I'll tell you when begin the data dump." Aidan continues his entering commands into the Ops console as he rattles off orders "Xavier, once you've disposed of that jammer get Mr. Scherer and yourself down to Engineering and help Mclean. Send Mr. Shamor back up here, I'll need him at Tactical. Hopefully I'll be able to get the turbolifts reactivated soon. As for you, Mr. Benson, sit down there at the Engineering display and coordinate with Mclean from there." From somewhere behind him he hears Doctor Matthews make her report and then say "There is one more thing. If I'm reading this correctly, the Hawking has been rigged to run from a remote location. Before we power up these engines, we may want to restore helm control to the bridge." Aidan replies darkly "I'm glad to see they met my expectation. I'll see about dealing with that remote rig in time, Doctor. Preferably I'll be able to block it. It would be a shame to have to destroy the programming since it might lead us to the b...ones who are doing this. Right now I'm still trying to make sure that the systems we need to run are actually able to run and moreover that the Computer can interface with those systems. It's accepting the commands but whether that actually means anything remains to be seen. When you get a chance why don't you help Benson at the Engineering console. God knows your Grandfather was one hell of an engineer, I'm sure some of it rubbed off on you." He continues to tap sets of commands into the Ops console as he runs over contingency plans in his mind. Without directly addressing anyone he says "Someone get me an analysis on what attacked the Reaent when they get a chance." Without waiting to hear from Mclean on the status of the engines or the reports of anyone else, Aidan calls up the helm displays and programs several courses into the computer. If only because the possibility existed that whatever attacked the Reaent may decide to do so once it detected the warp engines coming online onboard the Hawking. As he does so he murmurs "Lets hope this old girl still has some moves left in her."

Aidan sighs and shakes his head as he studies the deck layout to the Constellation class USS Hawking. He had also gone over it's history briefly but further study of that could wait until later. While the layout is similar to other Starfleet ships there were some nuances to it that Aidan wanted to make sure he was aware of. Before the Reaent, he had never served on any other ship besides a Galaxy class. Of course there were the Academy training programs but they didn't cover every ship class in the fleet. He glances at the clock on his desk and frowns slightly at noting the passage of time. After he had the Away Team recalled and had..reminded them of Away Team protocol, the Captain had given them two hours to rest and prepare for the return to the USS Hawking. That two hours is now nearly up. Aidan taps a control on the desk in his office and says "Computer, notify First Lieutenant Mclean, Doctor Matthews, First Lieutenant Shamor, Lieutenant Scherer and Ensign Xavier that they are to report to Transporter room 1 in ten minutes. Along with a full security team. First Lieutenant Mclean should bring one assistant as well." That done, now there was only to hope that the Captain had managed to acquire the Hawking's prefix code if it was necessary. Which was something Aidan had suggested after the meeting.

Aidan stares at the mothballed Starfleet ship on the viewscreen as he sinks into his thoughts. Finally he turns on his heel and steps back to his chair. Pressing the all com button he says "Doctor Matthews and First Lieutenant Mclean, report to transporter 1 for away team duty. Also someone else from Engineering of your choice, Mr. Mclean." He switches his attention to the Science station as he says "Mr. Kroells, have either you or someone else from your department report for away team duty as well." Aidan glances back at the viewscreen again and frowns darkly. He says "Mr. Shamor, I want an entire security contingent led by you on the away team as well. Mr. Scherer and Mr. Bell-Krasner should be included. Any additional security present I leave up to you. And go down to the armory and break out the Phaser rifles. If there is a...spider over there in that web I intend to be prepared for it." Without a further word, Aidan steps into the turbolift and lets the doors close behind him.

Aidan sets his bags down on the couch in his quarters and glances around. He needed the Shore Leave but it was nice to be home. He murmurs "Well, have a few hours more so..how to waste the time. Perhaps..." A small yowl draws his attention. He looks down to find a small kitten looking up at him expectantly. He reaches down and picks up the kitten and gently pets it, eliciting a pleased purr from the kitten. He smiles "Well, you can't be hungry as you just ate, Nephthys. So perhaps we should pay a visit to Sickbay so Debbie can take a look at you, assuming she's back from her shore leave. True, she's a doctor but she's quite good and a good friend. Though lets keep that between ourselves, at least for now." Nephthys meows in response. Aidan steps towards his bedroom as he says "Let me get just one thing else we need. There will be plenty of time for you to explore your new home so after the visit to Sickbay, I'll let you check out one of my holodeck programs." When Aidan steps into Sickbay a few minutes later he's cradling Nephthys in one arm with a fishing pole slung over the other. Debbie glanced up at the clock. She was eager to finish everything before starting her leave and found herself rushing through the last of the files on her desk. There really wasn't any need to hurry. Her shuttle didn't leave until the following day. Debbie still couldn't believe it. Within twenty-four hours, she would be home. As hard as she tried to concentrate on her work, her mind kept drifting back to her grandparents and the house in Redstone. She wondered how they would look, would they think she had changed, had her grandma rearranged the furniture....again, which flowers were blooming in the garden, how many of the dogs were still around. It was almost inconceivable that she had come so close to never seeing them again. Yet, just a few days ago, Debbie had very nearly resigned herself to that fact. The Reaent was a zillion light years from home. They would all be elderly if and when they got back. She held out very little hope that her grandparents would still be alive when she again arrived in the system. But....miracles happen and here she was. She'd chatted briefly with her grandmother a couple of days ago. She had yet to speak to her grandfather. But that was okay. Soon, they would have several days to spend together, enough time to finally time to catch up on everything. She could barely stand the wait. Her wandering thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an unusual sound. She could have sworn it was cat. But there were no cats in Sickbay. She glanced around momentarily then tried to force herself to concentrate on the reports in front of her. A few seconds later, Debbie looked up and found the totally unexpected standing in her office doorway. It was Adian Ridire with a kitten under one arm and....a fishing pole in the other hand. The CMO was genuinely surprised. It took her a minute to close her mouth and find her voice. Debbie finally pushed away from her desk and she walked toward the XO. She'd never thought of Adian Ridire as a cat person. Then again, there was a lot she didn't know about the Commander. Debbie smiled as she gently scratched the kitten's head. "Where did this come from?" she asked Ridire. "And what are you doing in here with that fishing pole?" Aidan smiles faintly "She's an early birthday present from my sister. We're not likely to be near Earth by the time my birthday actually does roll around. And her cat had kittens a few weeks ago. Nephthys here is one of them. I thought it would be a good idea if I had her checked out and an ID chip implanted in her if you or one of your assistants could take care of it. The.....other thing will have to wait until she's older I suspect." "As for the fishing pole, I was going to let her run around one of my holodeck programs and this was how I was going to occupy my time with." His gaze shifts to the aquarium for a second and he smirks "Worrying that I was going to treat the fish in your aquarium as a captive audience, so to speak?" "Guilty as charged," replied Debbie softly. "You're one of those people who never cease to amaze me. I wouldn't put it past you to try your luck in the aquarium." She glanced around to find Sickbay deserted, which came as no surprise. "There's nobody here right now, so I don't suppose it would offend anyone's sensibilities for me to exam your kitten." Debbie led the XO, the kitten and the fishing pole to a nearby biobed and quickly retrieved a hand held bioscanner. She browsed through the multiple settings until she found the one she wanted and adjusted the scanner. "Remind me to change this back when we're finished," she mumbled. "Otherwise, someone will use it without checking the settings and the results could scare them to death." Adian placed the kitten on the biobed and Debbie waved the scanner over the small creature. "She's healthy," announced the CMO after the scan. "Your sister must have taken care of the inoculations so need to worry about them." Debbie looked up at Ridire and smiled playfully. "All you have to do is have her spayed, unless you're planning to breed kittens on this starship." He smiles "Nah, I wouldn't dare to harm your little pets. Besides, do you think I want the wrath of Sickbay on my head? Sorry, I'm many things but insane isn't one of them. As for taking care of Nephthys here regarding your question I think it can wait until she's a bit older. Besides, knowing you I don't think you've gone on your shore leave yet. And as you were the one really pushing for it, you really should get going, yes?" Debbie nodded, her eyes dancing. "I think you're right about the kitten. You don't need to spay her just yet. But you might want to take care of that before she goes into heat. Otherwise, you'll have a....well....let's just say it won't be easy to sleep at night." She deactivated the scanner and carefully reset it. "And you're right about my leave. I'm off tomorrow morning, even if I don't finish all of that paperwork on my desk." Debbie picked up the kitten and carefully handed her to Adian. "Speaking of leave," she continued in an even tone, "how was yours? Tie up all those loose ends?" Aidan's smile fades when the Doctor asks the last question. He nods "Yeah, I managed to. Well.....all but one of them. Nick didn't manage to get any leave so he's still in the dark. Saw my family and spent some time with them. Also visited Fiona's family and apologized for..well..not somehow saving her and for not being at the funeral. They took that as well as can be expected. They're both still in shock at having their only daughter be killed by...." He frowns and growls low in his throat "...some damn accident or so they were told." Debbie looked away. She knew the Commander was hurt and angry and so was she. But she hadn't lost a close friend on the Cairo. Aidan did. To add insult to injury, the brass was telling the families of the deceased a bold faced lie about how their loved ones were killed. Debbie wasn't surprised by that but she couldn't help feeling disappointed. "I'm pretty sure my grandfather has heard something about Cairo and the investigation," said Debbie quietly. "My grandmother all but said so yesterday. He's retired but he and his engineering pals spend an inordinate amount of time at Utopia. They have the best grapevine in the fleet. She paused a moment. "I'm really looking forward to visiting Utopia again. It's the most amazing place." Debbie looked at Ridire and grinned. "Why don't you plan to come out too. You could make it a day trip of it if you don't care to stay overnight. I'll arrange for my grandfather to take us on the grand tour....and you can hear for yourself what he has to say about Cairo." Aidan blinks in some surprise at the invitation. He considers it for a few seconds then smiles and shrugs "Sure, why not. Though I'll need to find some place to stay that accepts pets." He scratches Nephthys behind the ears causing the kitten to purr as he adds "I don't think it would be a good idea to leave her in my quarters overnight." He hesitates a second then asks "Are you sure it would be ok? Would hate to intrude on your time with your family." Debbie smiled brightly. "Of course It will be okay. My grandparents will be thrilled to have company. Let's consider it a plan! And don't worry about your kitten, you can bring her with you." Aidan nods "If you're sure it's all right..."

Speaking for Ayers and myself...oh wait...that's just me, I thank you and appreciate the happy birthday wishes. ^_^ Now pardon me while I go die of embarassment. :(

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